


Have Pride

by notcrypticbutcoy



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Homophobia, Internalised Homophobia, Internalised Transphobia, Love, Love Confessions, Malec, Multi, Possessive Behavior, Pride, Protective Alec, Protective Magnus, Romance, Saphael, Trans Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-07-11 16:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 87,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7061269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrypticbutcoy/pseuds/notcrypticbutcoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's hard to have pride in yourself, when everyone around you is kicking you down. Sometimes you need some help believing in yourself again. Sometimes all it takes is a hand to pull you back up.</p><p>(Multi-chapter story based around 30 prompts for LGBT+ Pride month. Malec-centric, some Saphael, some Isabelle/Lydia. Daily updates through June 2016)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Admitting It Is Hard

**Author's Note:**

> I got all these prompts from the taygetsthegay movement. They're open to all and any who want to use them!

**Prompt: In which your character comes to terms with something they didn't want to admit**

 

***

 

Alec Lightwood hated the locker rooms.

Standing in a rowdy room with another load of sweaty, laughing teenage New York boys who were stripping off and flinging their damp towels at each other was Alec's version of hell. Not because he felt self-conscious about his body - although he did - but because he couldn't stop... _looking_.

He couldn't stop the way his eyes were drawn to the lanky muscles in other boys' shoulders. He couldn't stop glancing down the line of their backs. He couldn't stop the flush that spread up his cheeks when he caught himself doing it.

It wasn't right. It wasn't normal. It wasn't the way fourteen year old boys were supposed to look at other boys. It was wrong. He was supposed to look at girls that way. Not- Not-

"Alec. Dude." Jace, his best-friend-come-adoptive-brother of three years, waved a hand in front of his face. "You okay?"

"Um. Yeah." He bit his lip. He'd been looking at a boy's...butt. He swallowed around the guilt welling inside him.

"Sure?" Jace asked, raising his eyebrows. "You look out of it."

"I'm fine." He managed a smile. "Sorry. What were you saying?"

Alec wasn't really listening as Jace launched into an exceptionally biased verbal replay of the baseball match they'd just played. He was too busy trying to stop the fear racing through him. Because he knew what was wrong with him. He knew why he kept looking at guys, even if he didn't want to admit it.

That night, lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, he tried it out in his head.

 _I'm gay_ , he thought to himself. _I'm gay. I like guys. I like men._

How did being gay even work? He mulled it over in his mind to stop himself thinking about how horrific his parents' reactions would be if he ever told them. The media. Who did he know in the media who was gay? On TV? There was...Ellen DeGeneres? What about men?

He sighed to himself. Maybe he could Google it tomorrow.

***

Across the world, Magnus Bane was staring up at the man who'd taken him in when he thought he'd be forced into a painful childhood in the foster care system. He still found London strange, sometimes. It was so unlike the tiny little village in Indonesia that he'd grown up in. But London...London was different in a good way.

He missed his mother. She'd been kind to him, when she'd been able to. She'd protected him from his step-father's wrath. Until it had been too much for her, and she'd hung herself in the barn. He still bore the marks on one side of his neck where his step-father had tried to drown him the next day.

But here in London, two years after he'd arrived, a young man and his fiancé had walked into the orphanage, hand-in-hand, kindness etched into the first man's face, the second more closed-off, and offered Magnus a home. Which was unheard of: Magnus was far too old for most people to want to adopt him, at twelve years old.

And now that same young man was looking down at him and telling him it was okay, as Magnus admitted his most shameful and terrible secret, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Jem Carstairs, one of two men Magnus would forevermore deem his saviours, patted the sofa next to him. Magnus rose from where he'd drawn himself into a tight ball on the floor, wiping at the tears on his face.

"How long have you known?" Jem asked.

"I don't know." Magnus' voice was thick. He swallowed. "I've always known I wasn't- wasn't what I was expected to be. I've always had this idea of... _Magnus_ , in my head. I didn't know what it was until I came to London. I'd never heard the word before. But I- I think that's it."

Jem nodded thoughtfully. "I think you're probably right."

"I'm sorry," Magnus whispered. "I'm sorry. Please don't- Please don't send me back."

"No." Jem shook his head, his voice and eyes serious as he looked at Magnus. "No. We're never going to send you back. That's the point. We took you in because we wanted to. It was a pledge to look after you, to be here for you, for as long as you need us, in whatever capacity you need us. We're never going to break it, you understand me? Not ever."

Magnus wasn't convinced. He'd heard the stories, when he'd been at the orphanage, of foster parents, of adoptive parents, who sent children back for tiny misdemeanours. This was a lot more than that. "But this—"

"Is who you are, Magnus."

Magnus jumped at the name. It was the first time anybody had ever said it out loud. The first time anybody had ever made him feel real. He'd never told anybody before. And easy as that, Jem had changed what he called him.

Jem studied him carefully. "Do you not want me to use that name?"

"No, I- I do." Magnus looked at him nervously. "It surprised me, that's all."

"Listen to me," Jem said, brushing a hand through Magnus' hair tenderly. "I'm not going to lie to you. People are going to make you feel invalid. People are going to try to invalidate you for all sorts of things. You mustn't let it work. You are valid. They're just scared of things they don't understand."

Magnus nodded. "Jem, what about- What about Will?"

Jem raised his eyebrows at the mention of his husband. "What about Will?"

"Is he going to be angry?"

Jem looked surprised. "No, Magnus, of course not."

And he wasn't. When Magnus told him, too, later than night, with Jem's supportive presence beside him, he just hugged Magnus tight, in a show of affection that was rare for Will, and told him that it would be okay. Magnus clung to Will, and closed his eyes when Jem's hand rested comfortingly on his shoulder. Will opened his arm for Jem to join their embrace, and the three of them sat there for a long time.

For the first time in his life, Magnus understood unconditional love.


	2. Play Straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alec pretends to be straight—and Isabelle sees right through him.

**Prompt: In which your character pretends to be straight**

 

***

 

"Oh my god," Jace moaned, age fifteen, as he followed a blonde girl down the street with his eyes from where they were seated on a bench in Central Park—their usual Saturday spot to escape the unpleasant mayhem at home. "That's so not fair."

Alec glanced up from his book, taking a sip of his coffee, and appraised said girl. She was pretty, he supposed. Just not really his type.

But he had to keep up the pretence. He had to pretend to be straight, even though he was anything but. Because if he didn't, people would realise why he didn't have any interest in girls, and he wasn't ready for people to know. He wasn't ready to people at school to know, and tease him for it. He especially wasn't ready for his parents to know.

"Yeah," he said, shrugging. "She's pretty."

"Pretty?" Jace echoed, turning incredulous eyes onto Alec. "Are you kidding me? God, she's—"

"She's a person, not an object," Alec's sister snapped from her spot at the end of the bench, where she was attempting to do some homework. Isabelle was a year younger than Jace and Alec, but the three were incredibly close, regardless. "Stop objectifying her."

Alec's lips quirked up. He loved Isabelle's defiance. And envied it, if he were being perfectly honest.

"I said she was pretty," Alec said. "I didn't say anything else."

"I wasn't talking to you." Isabelle glared at Jace. "Asshole."

Jace shrugged. "She was gorgeous, and I'm not sorry for saying so."

The two of them continued bickering for the rest of the day. Alec kept quiet, focusing on his book instead, letting their snarking wash over him. It was a perfectly normal Saturday, really. Alec's only regret was that his younger brother, Max, was never allowed to come with them. He had to suffer at home with their parents.

It was all ordinary, and mundane, and relaxing, until Isabelle caught him by the elbow when they walked up the driveway. Jace turned back to look at them.

"Are you two coming?" he called from the doorway.

"No. Fuck off," Isabelle said.

Alec made an apologetic gesture with his hands. Jace rolled his golden eyes, blonde hair looking even lighter in the summer sunlight, skin browned by the months of warmth.

"I'm going to find Max," he told them. "Have fun doing whatever you're doing."

Alec waved half-heartedly at Jace as Isabelle dragged him away, round the side of the house where the three of them often went to talk away from Robert and Maryse, who could be far too strict and controlling and judgemental for any of their likings.

"Alec," Isabelle said. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Alec blinked at her. Something to tell her? He didn't...think so? Was he supposed to? "Um. No?"

Isabelle raised her eyebrows, and flicked her dark hair over her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

"Yes?"

She sighed heavily. "Look, Alec. I love you. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do. I love you too, Iz. You're my sister."

"I love you no matter what, big brother." She looked at him fiercely. "Anything. I don't care. I love you."

He frowned at her. "Where's this coming from?"

"I think you know what I mean," she said. "I know you weren't objectifying that girl. You don't objectify girls at all. I've noticed."

What on earth—

 _Oh_.

Oh, shit. Fuck. Dammit.

She knew. Isabelle knew. She knew that he was gay.

"It's okay," she said, smiling at him. "I won't make you say it."

She turned on her heel, clearly under the impression that Alec wouldn't say anything more about it, but Alec's heart was pounding against his ribcage. Nobody knew. Only he knew. And if Izzy knew...

"Wait. Izzy."

She paused, and looked over her shoulder at him. "Hm?"

"I—" He swallowed. "Thank you."

She smiled. "Any time. You'd do the same for me."

"Yeah." He smiled weakly back at her. "I would. But please... Don't tell anyone?"

"I wouldn't dream of it. It's your secret to tell, brother."


	3. Facebook Can Define You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus changes his orientation on Facebook. (He's a cheesy fifteen year old.) Will and Jem act like an old married couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The conversation between Will and Jem regarding the NHS is me letting out my feelings about how overworked British doctors are. Will is right to be concerned. Our doctors are right to be striking.
> 
> (Aside from my political rant, there wasn't meant to be so much Will/Jem interaction, but oh well)

**Prompt: In which your character changes their orientation on Facebook**

 

***

 

Magnus kicked his duvet to one side as he tapped his Facebook password into his phone, wondering, not for the first time, why he hadn't asked Will and Jem for a new phone for his birthday. He couldn't count the number of times the stupid thing had crashed and signed him out of all his social media in the last week.

While he waited for his profile to load so he could update his details, he glanced outside. London looked... Well. London appeared precisely as London did ninety-five percent of the time: grey, cold, and drizzling. There was a light sheen of rain across the top of the cars parked along the road, and everything seemed just a little blurry through the rain gathered on his window.

A shiver ran through him; he picked up the sweater resting on the bottom of his bed with his toes, and tugged it on. Magnus hated the cold. Even after living in Britain for four years, he much preferred the always-warm climate of Indonesia (even if he didn't miss much else about the country). He liked London, but he hated the weather. It was so depressing. The strip-down-to-the-bare-minimum attitude of Londoners whenever the sun peaked out for two hours in the middle of August was even more depressing.

So when he'd heard Will and Jem discussing moving out of London, across the world to New York, last night, he hadn't really felt all that devastated. Jem had sounded concerned that it would be too disruptive for Magnus to keep moving country. Magnus wanted to bring it up with his guardians, but then he'd have to admit to being awake at long after midnight, and to eavesdropping on their conversation, and he really didn't want to do any of that.

Magnus' attention was drawn back to his Facebook page when it finally finished loading. The screen jumped, and Magnus huffed at it. Honestly.

Something warm flooded through him as he changed the automatic detail of 'attracted to women' to 'attracted to men and women'. It was akin to the feeling that had overwhelmed him when he told Will and Jem that he didn't feel female, in the slightest.

He wondered whether people at school would notice, and pick on him for it. He hated school as it was, having to pretend to be someone he wasn't. It wasn't like he'd rather hide than risk people bullying him - he'd rather be true to himself, regardless of the consequences - but he wasn't allowed to. The school wouldn't allow it.

Magnus had never seen Jem more angry than after that meeting with the headmaster. He'd started ranting about discrimination laws and legal rights and protection, and in the end, Will had had to calm him down before Jem said something he'd regret.

A knock on his bedroom door snapped him out of his trance. "Magnus?" Will asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." Magnus glanced back down at his phone, and smiled a little. Even if he had to lie about some things while he was at school, maybe this didn't have to be one of them. Satisfaction flooded through him.

"Hey." Will smiled at him. "What are you looking so pleased about?"

Magnus tried to school his expression into something more neutral, but it was too late. Will raised his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation, hands shoved in the front pockets of his jeans. Will and Jem weren't even twenty years older than Magnus, and it was obvious, sometimes, in Will's mannerisms.

"Nothing," Magnus said, sitting up from where he'd lain back against his pillows. Alright, he was a pillow whore. So what?

"Uh huh." Will smirked. "What happened on Facebook? Someone ask you out?"

Magnus choked. "No!"

Will looked dubious. "Uh huh."

"I'm serious! Nobody asked me out!"

"Uh huh."

"Oh, for—" Magnus threw up his hands. "You're so annoying."

"I second that!" Jem yelled from downstairs.

Will rolled his eyes. "I love you too, babe!"

Magnus pretended to gag, but he didn't mean it. Will and Jem's relationship was so incredibly sweet, and Magnus hoped he had that with somebody one day.

While his guardians' interaction had Magnus distracted, Will lunged across and reached for Magnus' phone. Magnus rolled over, laughing, trying to keep his phone out of Will's reach, but although Magnus was faster, Will was taller, and stronger, and he snatched Magnus' phone out of his hand, both of them laughing.

"I hate you," Magnus said, out of breath, grinning.

"That's what I get?" Will asked, a smirk pulling up one corner of his lips. "After I painstakingly cooked you sticky mango rice yesterday?"

Magnus snickered. Once they'd realised that Magnus was happy to talk about it, Will and Jem had been interested in the culture he'd experienced growing up in Indonesia. Will, in particular, had shown an interest in Indonesian cuisine. Which wasn't really surprising—Will ate more in one sitting than Jem and Magnus' combined food intake over a whole week.

"You just stole my phone," Magnus said. "And I taught you how to make it."

"Semantics," Will said, waving a hand, gaze turning to Magnus' phone screen. Magnus folded his arms, watching Will's eyes scan across the screen. He knew that Will and Jem didn't pry into his private activity online; Will wouldn't have snatched his phone if Magnus had asked him, seriously, not to.

But he wasn't worried about Will - or Jem - knowing what he'd just changed in Facebook. He'd never mentioned it to them, but it wasn't like they'd care. Will was bisexual, Jem didn't like labels, preferring to deem himself 'Will-sexual' (which Magnus couldn't help but think slightly adorable) so the likelihood of them having any issues with Magnus identifying as bi was, he suspected, next to nothing.

"Hm." Will tossed the phone back to him. "I hope you're not Facebook friends with Jem's mother."

Magnus stared at him. "Why on earth would I be Facebook friends with Jem's mum? Does she even know what Facebook is?"

Jem appeared at Will's shoulder in the doorway, shooting Will an exasperated, despairing sort of look. Will was grinning again. "No. No, she doesn't."

"Oh, I don't know." Will turned to look at Jem, who was dressed in scrubs, ready for his night shift at the hospital. Magnus couldn't express how disgustingly cute it was that Will and Jem had met over blood and guts and gore in a hospital. They'd both been students at the time, working in A&E. Will had gone into post-traumatic physiotherapy. Jem had stayed in the adrenaline-inducing environment of the Resus department. "I mean, I think I gave her a clue."

Jem looked deeply unimpressed. "You did not help that situation. At all."

Magnus cleared his throat before Jem and Will could start reminiscing, while he had no idea what on earth they were talking about.

Jem turned to him. "The first time he met my mother, she questioned his sexuality."

"All fucking day," Will added. "Literally."

Jem ignored him. "Will decided it would be a good idea to tell her that yes, he was sure he liked men and women, because he'd taken a quiz on Facebook when he was thirteen."

Magnus burst out laughing, partly at how ridiculous that was, and partly at the expression of pride on Will's face.

"She asked me," Will said, "and I quote, ‘You have a face that's also a book?’"

Even Jem's lips quirked up at that.

"So that's why she doesn't like you," Magnus said. He'd only met Jem's mother twice, and it had all been very awkward and uncomfortable. Will's parents had died six years ago, but, unlike Jem's family, they'd loved Will and Jem's relationship. Apparently.

"Oh, no," Will said cheerily. "She doesn't like me because I'm a bloke who's stealing away and corrupting her son. I'm always tempted to remind her that I'm going to snog her son every day for the rest of his life."

"Only if you behave."

"Gross," Magnus muttered.

"I'm going, now," Jem said, winking at Magnus. "Be good, you two."

"We always are," Will told him. He wound his arms around Jem's waist, catching Magnus' eye over Jem's shoulder. Will hid his grin in Jem's shoulder, and kissed him lightly.

Jem put his hand on Will's cheek, looking up at him with a kind of intensity that made Magnus want to look away. "If I come home at eight o'clock in the morning again and find out you've only slept for four hours, we're going to have an argument."

Will sighed. "I worry about you on night shifts."

Magnus wished they'd have this conversation somewhere else. They had it all the time, at least once a week, and it made Magnus feel so guilty. He complained and moaned about all sorts of inconsequential things, while Jem ran the busiest, most under-staffed section of the NHS, dealing with drunks and criminals and time-wasters and complaints and god-knew what else. And all Jem ever lamented about was how unfair it was to the patients.

"I know," Jem was saying, "but if you keep doing this, you'll make yourself sick."

"James—"

"Magnus, please make sure Will goes to bed. And stays there."

Magnus nodded at Jem. "I'll do my best."

"And I'm taking you for a haircut tomorrow."

Will frowned. "No, you're sleeping. I'm taking Magnus for a haircut."

Jem rolled his eyes, and kissed Will's cheek. "I'll see you in the morning."

Magnus agreed with Will.


	4. I Am Not Invalid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus suffers through the girls' changing rooms during swim season. Will and Jem have an argument.

**Prompt: In which your trans character suffers through the girls' changing rooms during swimming season**

 

*******

 

Magnus cringed as he walked into the changing rooms, diverting his gaze from the decidedly-female figure tacked onto the door. The girls around him mostly ignored him. One gave him odd looks, as she did every week. He'd ceased to care.

Emma, whom Magnus was friendly but not friends with, paused as she walked past him, and turned to appraise him. For a moment, Magnus thought she was going to say something rude. But she merely said, "This country is fucking ridiculous."

Magnus raised his eyebrows at her. "Not that I disagree with you, but why?"

"You're fifteen years old. How can you possibly not be allowed to change your fucking legal gender?"

Magnus shrugged. "Because we live in the dark ages."

Emma made a sympathetic noise in the back of her throat, and dragged Magnus past the other girls towards the back, where it absolutely stunk of that typical school mixture of chlorine, sweat and piss. Delightful. Emma didn't seem too put-out, yanking her things out of her bags and snapping the hair band off her wrist, but Magnus wrinkled his nose.

"I hate swimming," Magnus told her, opening his bag with significantly less enthusiasm.

"I can't imagine why," she said dryly.

Magnus laughed at that. "Well. Yes, but I just...don't like water. Even without this." He gestured vaguely to the changing rooms.

"Oh?" She quirked an eyebrow, shrugged, but didn't ask. "Not for everyone, I guess."

"Mmm."

Magnus glanced across at her as she began to yank her t-shirt over her head, and sighed. At least Emma was acting as a _fuck-you, dickheads_ buffer to anybody who wanted to make Magnus feel uncomfortable. Because it had happened, several times. But he still had to get undressed. Completely undressed. It was swim season. He had to take all his clothes off, and not only feel uncomfortable about his own body, but have other people looking at it. Even just in passing, the knowledge that other people could and would see him made him want to cry.

Magnus closed his eyes as he unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off his shoulders. He hated this. He hated it. He hated it so fucking much. He'd feel just as uncomfortable about his body in the boys' changing rooms, but at least he wouldn't have the constant reminder that other people still forced him into the female box just because of his body. Not even his body—just his fucking genitals. How was that anybody else's business? It was disgusting. He hated it.

As Magnus tried to get the long and slightly terrifying process of undressing over with, there was a flapping beside him as Emma shook out her towel—large, fluffy, and bright pink. Magnus blinked at it for a moment, surprised that someone like Emma owned something that colour.

"Sorry," Emma said, not looking at him as she stretched her towel out wide. "I'll just be a minute."

"What on earth are you..." Magnus trailed off as he realised how Emma was standing, and that with her towel stretched out like that as she picked invisible bits of lint off it in preparation for refolding, nobody could see him.

He stared at her for a moment. Why on earth was Emma coming to help him? It was bizarre. They weren't really friends. But he wasn't going to complain. He changed as quickly as he could, forcing his gaze away from himself.

"Thank you," he mumbled to Emma as she finished (unnecessarily) folding her towel up.

She turned round to smile at him, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder. "What for?"

Magnus smiled back at her. Maybe he was too cynical. Maybe, sometimes, people did things just because it was the kind thing to do. Maybe people didn't always want something back for their kindness. Not even thanks.

It made Magnus want to thank Emma even more.

***

By the time Magnus got home, not only were feelings of dysphoria overwhelming him, but also plain loathing. Not self-loathing - though he couldn't deny that there were times when he felt that too - but loathing for other people. Why couldn't he just be treated like every other person on the planet? Why did everything have to be so difficult?

When he opened the front door, he was surprised to find that both Will and Jem were home. Jem had been out on a night shift, so he'd usually be asleep still, or just waking up. And shouldn't Will have been at work?

He was about to call out to them, when he heard what they were saying. They were arguing about something. As ever, Jem hadn't raised his voice, Will had, and they both sounded incredibly frustrated.

"It's appalling, Jem," Will snapped. "I hate living here."

"No, you don't. You love London."

"I hate where you have to work! God, I hate where I have to work, but you work in Accident and Emergency. It's horrible. And it's getting worse. I just... I want to try somewhere else, at least. Besides, didn't we always say we'd move out of this country eventually?"

Magnus was rooted to the spot, heart thudding as he listened to his guardians. Will and Jem bickered all the time, and yes, they argued sometimes, and things got heated, but usually about stupid things. Not about anything that sounded this serious. Not usually.

"That was before," Jem said.

"Before what, exactly?"

"Before Magnus! William, you can't possibly expect him to be okay with up and moving across the world, _again_ , right when he's about to be sixteen and—"

"What does him being sixteen have to do with anything?" Will asked, sounding bewildered.

There was a pause. "I can't believe you just asked me that."

"I—"

"No." The sound of movement met Magnus' ears. "I love you, Will, but I can't be here right now. If I haven't contacted you in an hour then I've probably been hit by a bus."

"Don't joke about—"

"You're such an arse sometimes!" Jem shouted, and Magnus realised that he was heading out of the kitchen, and that he'd walk straight into where Magnus was loitering outside. He needed to move, unless he wanted his guardians to know that he'd been listening in.

Magnus crept past the door, heart fluttering, but felt himself being frozen stiff when Will said, "I still don't know what you were talking about, James!"

"Hour and a half!"

"Fine! Fine! Hour and a half, have your space, then maybe you can tell me what the hell you're so angry about!"

Jem's footsteps met Magnus' ears, and jarred him out of his trance and into movement. He darted upstairs, hoping to avoid any questions from Jem and Will, but he heard the kitchen door swing open when he was only halfway up.

"Magnus?" Jem called out. "Magnus—"

"I've got it," he heard Will say. "Go."

"Will, I'm—"

"Cool off. Don't worry."

Their voices faded as Magnus shoved open his bedroom door and fell through, breathing heavily. He flopped down onto his bed, kicking his shoes off, and curled up atop his duvet, wondering why days were never just a bit crap. Crap days only ever got worse. Because now he felt guilty, because Will and Jem had had an argument because of him, and he was stopping them doing things they wanted to do, and he knew exactly what Jem had been talking about, and it shouldn't _matter_ , why did it have to matter? Why did this country have to be so- so _fixated_ on age restrictions on the most _stupid_ things?

Magnus pressed his face into his duvet, stifling a sob. His duvet was white, so he was grateful that he wasn't wearing make-up while he was crying. He didn't want to make a mess as well as screwing things up for Will and Jem all the damn time.

There was a knock on his bedroom door. Magnus jumped. How out of it had been not to have noticed Will coming up the stairs? Five of them creaked plenty loud enough to clue Magnus into when someone was approaching.

"Magnus?" The door cracked open, and Will poked his head round carefully. The three of them weren't obsessive about privacy of a physical nature - it just wasn't a big deal - but Will and Jem, as with everything else, were respectful about Magnus' boundaries regarding his body. So they didn't do that annoying parent thing of bursting in without warning.

"Hey." Will's voice was soft as he walked in. He sank down on the bed next to Magnus, and carded his fingers gently through his hair. "Hey, shh. Take a breath. Tell me what's wrong."

They were exactly the same words Jem always used. Comforting, being gentle and impossibly kind, was something Jem did far more easily, more naturally, than Will did. But Magnus appreciated Will's effort; he usually made Magnus feel better, regardless.

"I'm sorry," Magnus said, sniffing. God, he was pathetic. How old was he? Old enough not to be snivelling in his room with his guardian, that was for sure. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. That's not helpful. Tell me what's upsetting you so much. You heard what Jem and I were saying?"

Magnus nodded, wiping at his eyes. He pushed himself into a sitting position with a sigh. "Yeah. I- I didn't mean to, but–" He exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry I make this so difficult for you and Jem. I wish I didn't. But really, I wouldn't mind. Moving out of London."

Will's face softened. "I know," he said. "You know Jem's just worried about you, don't you? It's not that he thinks you're not resilient enough to do it."

"I know."

"Okay, look." Will ducked his head to look Magnus in the eye. "You know I can be stupid, sometimes?"

Magnus smiled a little. "Am I meant to say yes?"

Will rolled his eyes. "Fair point. But _please_ tell me why Jem was so angry. Please. Because - and I feel like an arsehole for it, but - I don't understand."

Magnus' smile faded. "It's my fault."

"No." Will sighed. "You've got to stop doing this, Magnus. Not everything bad in the world is your fault."

Maybe not. But Magnus felt like most bad things in his immediate world - in the world the three of them inhabited - was his fault. Not that there was really anything he could do about it.

"I think Jem meant that when I'm sixteen I'm legible for— Well, at least, it's legal when I'm sixteen. Not that I've ever expected you to pay for it, of course I haven't, I know it's too much, so I don't know why Jem was so—"

Magnus' eyes widened when Will's arms came around him, tight and soothing despite the waves of anger Magnus could feel rolling off him. What on earth...?

"I am so sorry," Will said, voice trembling a little. "I'm so dense. And you." Will pulled back, shaking his head, anger - at who, Magnus wasn't quite sure - still burning in his shockingly blue eyes. Like Dumbledore, Magnus always thought. A less calm, more Michael Gambon style Dumbledore. "You are absolutely unbelievable, Magnus Bane. After everything, do you really think we wouldn't pay for you to have surgery if you wanted to?"

Magnus stilled. They'd never really talked about surgery, of any kind. In passing, yes, but not in a conversation detailed enough for Magnus to express that yes, yes, if it weren't so expensive he'd jump at the opportunity not to have to wear a binder every day of his goddamn life. But it was expensive - so expensive - and he couldn't ask something like that.

"But it costs a fortune," Magnus said, looking at Will with wide eyes.

"So?" Will shrugged. "We're lucky. We're not poor. And even if we were, we'd find a way to pay for it, if you wanted it." He narrowed his eyes a little. "Do you want it?"

"I—" _Yes_. "I mean, I—" _Yes!_ "I guess so?"

_Oh, for fuck's sake, Magnus, get a grip on yourself._

Will raised his eyebrows. "You guess so?"

"Yes." Magnus swallowed. "Yes, I do. But I'm not going to make it ruin your and Jem's plans, and I know it's expensive, so—"

Will cut Magnus off with a firm shake of his head. "That's enough of that. We can talk to Jem about this later. But stop thinking you're messing up our plans. We don't have any plans yet, and if we did, you would be a key part of them because you're our son and we love you. Not because you're an inconvenience. Understand?"

Magnus nodded, smiling a little. Will gave him a one-armed hug, and Magnus ducked away when he reached out to ruffle Magnus' hair. Maybe he didn't call Jem and Will Dad, but, really, that was what they were—his parents. Better parents that he could ever have hoped for, frankly. 


	5. I Hate Everyone (But Not You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's someone new in Alec's chemistry class. Someone very different. Too bad Camille and Sebastian have their eyes on him—for very different reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some liberties with this prompt. Sebastian is an arsehole (what's new?)

**Prompt: In which your character is abused for their sexuality**

 

*******

 

There was someone new in Alec's early-morning chemistry class.

It was the start of a brand new school year, and Alec couldn't wait until he graduated and could get the hell out of his parents' house. He was sick of it. He was sick of how close-minded they were. He was sick of hiding from everyone. He was sick of feeling like he was less than other people, just because while most boys drooled over girls, he was trying not to look twice at the boys.

He saw the sympathy in Isabelle's eyes whenever Jace made comments about girls. She shouldn't have to look at him like that. Alec didn't want her to look at him like that. He was supposed to be her big brother, not the other way around.

But, for once, his thoughts weren't on how entirely sick of the world he was.

He'd stopped in his tracks in the doorway, lips slightly parted, eyes locked on the boy sitting at the desk (the desk which, according to the seating plan tacked on the door, he was also supposed to sit at) with his head bent, shoulders a little hunched in, pen scratching across the page idly as though he were doodling. Alec couldn't see his notebook to check.

At first, he'd done a double-take because he'd never seen a guy who dressed like that. The first word that whipped into his head, to his own shame, was camp. But it wasn't. The boy wasn't camp. The boy's clothes and red-streaked hair and black nails reminded him more of 1970s glam rock stars than anything else.

But then he'd frozen, heart doing a little flutter, because the boy (ethnically Asian, judging by his skin tone and the shape of his eyes) tilted his head just enough for Alec to be able to see him in profile, and he was beautiful. His eyes were ringed with black, and there was no way his skin naturally shone like that, but it wasn't the make-up that made Alec momentarily lose control of his faculties. It was just...did guys like that really _exist_? Or was Alec's brain making up a gorgeous guy because it was so tired of the world?

"Alec." Clary's voice met his ears, and a second later a finger poked into his back. Low-down, of course. Jace's not-quite-girlfriend was at least a foot shorter than Alec. At least. "Are you moving? I'd kind of like to sit down. Unless there's, like, a spider or something. Then we'll...evacuate. And call Izzy for backup."

Alec's lips quirked up at that. He wanted to dislike Clary. Really, truly, he did. She'd seemed like just another girl Jace would hook up with, at first. But then she'd raised her eyebrows at Jace, rejected him, and struck up a conversation with Isabelle about American Idol, and Alec hadn't been able to help it. Especially as still, six months later, she hadn't agreed to a date with Jace.

Yeah. Alec liked her. It was hard not to.

"Sorry," he said, moving further into the room. He glanced across at the boy once more, then turned to Clary, and lowered his voice. "Who is that?"

"Who? Oh, that?" To his relief, she didn't speak too loudly. "Uh- Magnus Bane? I'm assuming?"

Alec frowned. "You're assuming?"

"Well." She gestured behind him. "Seating plan. Why? Worried his good fashion tastes will rub off on you? Might get you wearing a navy blue shirt or something radical like that?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "I'm wearing blue right now."

Clary squinted at his shirt, wrinkled her nose, and held her - most definitely black - bag up next to it for comparison. "Huh. Look at that. You are. Just. It barely counts at not black."

"You barely count as adult size, but I don't make a thing out of it," he quipped, tugging on her ponytail.

Clary gave him the kind of look she gave Jace when he said something annoying that usually managed to pull all the girls. "Only once or twice a day."

He grinned at her. "If it's any consolation, Jace thinks your height is adorable."

"Oh, yeah, because my sole mission in life is to please your misogynistic brother."

"He's painfully heterosexual and sixteen. He can't help where his gaze goes."

"He could try harder," Clary muttered, walking over to her assigned seat at the back of the classroom. "I'm painfully heterosexual and sixteen. I don't go round staring at guy's butts."

Alec was still smiling as he approached his seat, and the beautiful boy—Magnus, according to the seating plan. Chewing down on his lower lip, Alec pulled out his stuff, dropped it as quietly as he could on his desk, and sat down, trying not to draw too much attention to himself. He didn't particularly want to strike up an awkward conversation with this guy, even if he was gorgeous.

After a few moments, Magnus glanced across at him. A strange look crossed his face as he took in Alec, and then he smiled disarmingly.

"Hi," he said, eyes somehow bright and soft and a little wary at the same time. "I'm Magnus Bane. But I suppose you've already worked that out."

England. He sounded English. The typical, Queen's English kind of English. But Alec could hear a hint of something else. The lilt of an accent he wasn't familiar with.

"I- Um- Yeah. I'm Alec. Lightwood. But I mean- Obviously you knew that already."

He swallowed, flush high on his cheeks. Why was he so utterly incapable of having a conversation with anyone he found even remotely attractive? Not that he found Magnus attractive. Well, of course he thought Magnus was attractive, he was gorgeous, but not in a creepy way.

Oh, damn it all.

Magnus was probably an asshole. Most people were complete dicks. He was just attractive. Within twenty minutes, Alec would probably be dreading coming back to chemistry lessons every day and having to sit next to him because he'd find Magnus so irritating. He found most people irritating. He'd probably be referring to Magnus as 'it' by the end of the week, like he did Isabelle's maybe-or-maybe-not boyfriend (also Clary's best friend). To be fair, Simon just never shut up.

But Magnus' smile widened, just a little, and it was so disarming that all Alec's thoughts flew from his mind.

"Alec, hm?" Magnus asked. "It says Alexander on the door."

Trying to ignore his furious blush, Alec said, "Yeah. That's my name - well, obviously - but most people call me Alec."

"Alexander is a lovely name," Magnus said. "But Alec it is."

Alec would have thought Magnus was flirting, with a statement like that, but there didn't seem to be any flirtation in his tone of voice. Not that Magnus had any reason to flirt with Alec. All he'd done was stutter and blush and look like a complete idiot.

"Are American teachers always this late to lessons?" Magnus asked, raising his eyebrows. "Not that I'm complaining, of course. Though I don't mind chemistry."

It took Alec a moment to find his voice. "Um, no. It's just...first day of the semester, maybe?"

Magnus hummed. "What about you? Do you like school? Hate it? Should I be worried about American high school? People really seem to make it out to be awful."

"I guess– It's okay. I don't hate lessons. I hate homework." _Worried? Dressed like that, you'll either be beaten to a pulp or snatched up like a trophy to be shown off by the assholes. The world is a shitty and unfair place, and high school even more so._  "I tend to keep my head down."

They were quiet for a moment, Magnus chewing on his lower lip as though he were either nervous, or thoughtful. Or perhaps both. Alec tried not to glance at him, but he couldn't help himself. Even just with regards to his appearance, Alec had never met anyone like Magnus. And he didn't seem to be a complete douchebag. Yet.

Before he could overthink it, Alec blurted out, "So you've come from England?"

"That's right." Magnus' expression was friendly enough, but guarded. "My parents both worked in the healthcare system, and they hated it. I think they've always wanted to experience living somewhere else, so..." Magnus spread his hands. Rings glinted in the September sunlight on his long brown fingers. "Here we are."

One corner of Alec's mouth turned up. For some reason, Alec thought that Magnus would be the kind of person to wave his hands around excessively when he got excited about something.

"Well, welcome to America," Alec said. "Welcome to New York."

"It's been waiting for you."

Alec blinked at him.

Magnus sighed. "Taylor Swift? The song? No?"

"Maybe? Is that the one with the weird line about boys and girls that my brother tells me I'm supposed to hate?"

"That's the one." Magnus smiled in satisfaction.

"I'm not that into pop music. My sister, Isabelle, she is."

"Oh? What are you into, then? No, let me guess. Classic rock?"

Alec couldn't help it. He flushed, and nodded. "Some."

"Hm. Foo Fighters? The Killers? Queen? Bon Jovi?"

"I– The Killers isn't classic rock."

Magnus laughed. "No," he agreed, "but do you like them?"

"Well. Yeah. Sam's Town is great."

Magnus was still smiling at him, eyes bright, when the door creaked open and their teacher walked in, barking at them all to shut up. His lips were still curved upwards when he looked away from Alec and turned his attention to the front, and the teacher started talking.

Alec cursed himself when he realised that he was staring, and hadn't been paying any attention to what the teacher was saying. Fuck. Fuck fuck _fuck_.

***

"Oh, boy," crowed the voice of a boy Alec could not possibly suppress his hatred for. "Look at this."

Alec felt guilty when relief flooded through him at the fact that Sebastian Morgenstern, the world's biggest asshole, wasn't talking to him in that revolting tone of voice. Not that Sebastian very often bothered picking on him. There was nothing interesting enough about Alec to get the brunt of that kind of thing.

Not that anyone knew about, at least.

"Turn around, new boy. Let's see what's going on here."

Alec stopped in his tracks. It was the middle of lunch. He hadn't spoken to Magnus any more, after their lesson together that morning. He was heading to the lunchroom with Jace. But Sebastian was talking about Magnus. Talking to Magnus. Magnus, who, just this morning, had asked Alec about whether or not he should be worried about high school.

Jace paused, and raised his eyebrows at Alec. "Come on, man."

"I said turn the fuck around!" Sebastian shouted from behind them.

Jace glanced past Alec, and shook his head, disgust clear in his eyes. "I fucking hate Sebastian," he muttered.

Alec, too, looked round. Magnus hadn't turned round. He'd stopped, standing with another boy Alec didn't recognise, who looked significantly less colourful and glittery than Magnus. The two of them exchanged a glance. The boy Alec didn't know said something to Magnus, who shrugged.

"I'm not going to say it again," Sebastian said. By now, everyone in the corridor had stopped, and was staring, watching the scene unfold with varying expressions of fear and sympathy and revulsion on their faces. "Turn. The fuck. Around."

Magnus did. He met Sebastian's gaze dead-on, chin tilted up, defiance clear in every line of his face and body. He didn't say a word. Alec was hit by an enormous amount of respect for Magnus.

Sebastian chuckled. "Oh, look at that. Make-up, too. Let's see. Jewellery, dyed hair, make-up, those clothes, and painted nails? Fucking hell." He shook his head, smirking. "You must be a _queer_."

Alec stiffened. Magnus didn't flinch.

"Leave him alone, Sebastian!" someone yelled from the back. "Pick on someone who's worth it! He's just some loser!"

Sebastian didn't shift his gaze away from Magnus, a glint in his eyes. Alec felt sick.

"I don't like being disrespected. Least of all by someone like you." He looked Magnus up and down, and sneered. "Probably a fucking tranny, right? Do you wanna be a girl, Magnus? Should we all call you Maggie?"

There was a tittering that rang through the corridor. Alec cringed. And Magnus...Magnus went pale. He swallowed visibly, but he held his head up, gave unwavering.

"Let's see," Magnus said softly. Alec didn't know whether he was imagining the slight tremor in his voice or not. "American high school popular stereotype, questioning other people's masculinity because you're insecure about your own, and priorities that misplaced? You must be a coward."

Alec's breath caught. Sebastian's eyes turned murderous. Alec wanted to rush forward. He was desperate to step out there and stand between Magnus and Sebastian, shout in Sebastian's face, land a punch on that stupid, obnoxious nose. For Magnus, yes, but not just for Magnus. For all the people Sebastian picked on. But he couldn't. He was frozen. And he wasn't brave enough. He was too scared. Scared of being targeted himself. Scared of being outed.

A pale hand shot out and grasped Sebastian's arm as he surged towards Magnus. Camille Belcourt, a year older than Alec and nearly as bitchy as Sebastian, narrowed her eyes and shook her head once.

"Not today, Morgenstern," she said, voice cool. "I think you've had enough fun here."

Magnus looked at her and inclined his head. "Thank you."

Camille flashed him a smile. Alec raised his eyebrows. Why the hell was Camille helping Magnus? She usually participated in Sebastian's bullying. Unless she thought she could get something out of Magnus. That was probably it.

"We're done, here," Camille announced, and, with a wave of her hand, the crowd dispersed, muttering lowly.

Alec followed Magnus down the corridor with his eyes, not missing the way he and Camille made eye contact, or the sultry smile Camille sent him. He definitely notice the little smile Magnus gave her in return, a flicker of something - confusion? Interest? Gratefulness? - in his eyes.

 _Magnus Bane_ , he thought, _be careful._


	6. You're So Not Dating Material

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec suddenly realises what girls see in Jace, Alec and Magnus talk, and all welcome Ragnor Fell.

**Prompt: In which your character accidentally checks out their best friend**

 

*******

 

When Alec walked into chemistry the next morning, he was late. Well. Technically, he was two minutes early, but he counted that as late. The teacher was already standing up front, sorting through a pile of paper, but she hadn't started the lesson yet.

Magnus turned his head and threw Alec a friendly sort of smile as Alec slumped down, out of breath because he'd run all the way from the parking lot on the other side of the school to get here.

"Alarm didn't go off?" Magnus guessed, raising his eyebrows. He had four silver hoops in one ear, Alec noticed, and two in the other.

"Uh, no. My parents came home from a business trip. Unexpectedly. And so it was all a little..." He gestured slightly with one hand, hoping to get his point across. "Crazy."

"I thought you had a little brother?" Magnus asked.

Alec blinked at him. How the hell did Magnus know that? He'd mentioned Isabelle, yesterday, and Magnus might well have seen him around school with Jace, but Max? "I do, but how—?"

"Oh, Camille mentioned it."

Alec's eyebrows shot up; his stomach dropped. "Camille?"

"Mmhm. I was talking to her yesterday. She seems to know everything about everyone."

"I'm sure," Alec muttered, trying (and probably failing) not to make his dislike too obvious.

Magnus, if he noticed, didn't bring it up. "But why were your parents out on business if you have a little brother?"

Alec exhaled heavily. Magnus was alright. Well, actually, Magnus seemed very nice, except for his apparent bonding with Camille. But that didn't mean he wanted to tell him about how neglectful his parents were, or how much he hated them sometimes, or how they were half the reason he'd never told anyone that he was gay, let alone tried his hand at dating.

"Jace and I are supposed to look after Max when they're away." He smiled wryly. "Although Jace doesn't do a lot of the looking after. For my parents, work is more important than anything else."

Magnus looked at him for a moment, and, once again, there was a strange sort of expression in his eyes that Alec couldn't understand. He didn't want to talk about this. He'd be happy to talk about his siblings, or find out about Magnus' family, but his parents? He'd rather forget about them for a while.

"You strike me as the kind of person who'd be a good big brother," was all Magnus said.

Alec snorted. "Painfully introverted and slightly socially awkward?"

Magnus laughed a little. "Kind. Protective."  
Alec was saved from having to respond to that by the teacher calling them to attention. How on earth could Magnus make a judgement like that when all they'd done was chat about mundane things in a chemistry lesson?

"Mr Bane," the teacher said, not even looking at Magnus as she spoke, "wearing multiple earrings is against the school dress code." Magnus' fingers went to his left ear. He didn't look embarrassed, Alec noted, and he didn't protest; he merely lifted his other hand and began to take out his extra earrings.

"Isn't wearing make-up against the school dress code, too?" some asshole at the back shouted.

Magnus rolled his eyes. "I'm not the only person in this room wearing make-up."

"That's enough," their teacher snapped. "Now—"

"You're the only _guy_ wearing make-up. What the fuck, man? Did you go steal from mommy's drawer?"

Alec glanced up front, expecting their teacher to say something. She didn't. She had her lips pursed, disapproval clear on her face as she looked at the moron in the back row. Jason? Johnny? Something like that.

"I would struggle to do that," Magnus muttered.

"Look, I'm sure you're fine and everything," maybe-Johnny said, "but you look fucking gay, man."

"Or he's a tranny," someone else piped up, "like Sebastian said."

Magnus' knuckles turned white as he clenched his hands into fists, jaw locked. Alec thought he saw colour flushed high on Magnus' cheeks, but it could have been his imagination. Either way, he was clearly uncomfortable, and the comments were clearly bothering him, even if he put on a brave face.

Was nobody in this stupid classroom going to say anything? Clary wasn't in—if she were, Alec felt certain she'd have slapped both of those idiotic boys across the face by now.

"It's just wrong," maybe-Johnny was saying. "It's not right. There's got a be some rule about this—"

"Jesus Christ, _shut up_ ," Alec snapped, turning round to glare at maybe-Johnny. "He can wear whatever the fuck he wants to. Shut your goddamn mouth."

Maybe-Johnny raised his eyebrows as an _ooh!_ ran through the classroom. Alec swallowed, anger flowing through him. He was blushing, partially from anger and partially from embarrassment, and he could feel Magnus' eyes on him. But he didn't look across. He didn't break his gaze from that close-minded ass watching him with a glint in his eyes.

"Protecting a fairy, Lightwood?" maybe-Johnny asked. "What's he got over you?"

"Nothing," Alec said, rather than responding with something witty, like Jace would have, or scathing, like Clary would have. "So shut up."

Maybe-Johnny raised his hands, palms forwards. "I'm just saying what everyone is thinking."

"No, you're not!" Alec ground his teeth together. "You're saying what you think it's cool to say, because you're a complete fucking—"

"That's enough, Alec."

Alec turned incredulous eyes towards the teacher, rage, and the passion that came with it, tearing through his normal inhibitions. "You're telling me to be quiet when they're attacking Magnus just for—"

"Yes," she said firmly, "I am. Take your things, and go outside. I'll talk to you after class."

"Fine!" He jerked up, snatching his notebook and pens off the desk, and picked up his bag.

"That's what you get for standing up for fags, Lightwood!"

Alec whirled round to face maybe-Johnny. "I swear to god—"

"I said that's enough, Alec!"

Breathing heavily, Alec stormed out of the room, letting the door slam behind him. The corridor was silent, and, only when he realised that he had nowhere to go and nothing to do for the next period, did he wonder what the hell he'd just done.

***

Magnus waited outside the classroom for Alec.

Alec hadn't looked at him as he'd pushed past the other students to go and have whatever awful conversation he'd have to have with their chemistry teacher. Magnus hoped he didn't regret what he'd done. But even if he did, Magnus wanted to thank him. Not only had Alec leaping to his defence taken him completely by surprise, but it had also set his heart racing.

Alec was an attractive guy. Attractive, amusing, and, from the way he talked about his siblings, clearly kind-hearted. But saying all that, in defence of someone he barely knew? Well. Magnus couldn't help that it made him find Alec a little...intriguing.

"Magnus," came Ragnor's voice from down the corridor, "why are you lingering?"

Magnus smiled at his friend. Ragnor was in his senior year, a transfer student like Magnus from London. They'd first met in the hospital waiting room when Magnus had first gone to live with Will and Jem. Ragnor's step sister, Catarina, had been in a car accident, the trauma of which had caused her to lose her hearing. Ragnor had been waiting for her to finish an appointment with her doctor and their parents. Magnus had been waiting for Will to finish his shift. They'd hit it off, and all three of them had remained good friends, despite Ragnor being a year older than Magnus, and Catarina a year older than him. Ragnor's family had moved out to New York two years ago.

"I'm waiting for someone," Magnus said.

Ragnor eyed him suspiciously. "Who?"

"Alexander Lightwood." And, upon seeing Ragnor's expression of doubt deepen, he hastened to explain what had happened in class.

"At least there's someone in this place who isn't a complete arse, then," Ragnor grumbled. "But be careful."

"I know, I know. Hey, I spoke to Camille yesterday. She seemed nice, too."

Ragnor snorted.

"What?" Magnus demanded. "She shut that idiot yesterday up. Stanley or Sheldon or Draco Malfoy or whatever his name is."

"Sebastian," Ragnor corrected him. "And Draco Malfoy? Really?"

"What?" Magnus looked up at him innocently. "He's got stupid blonde hair and he's a discriminatory moron. I don't see the difference."

Ragnor didn't smile. Not that Ragnor ever smiled. Ever. At all. Maybe he didn't have the muscles in his cheeks that let him smile. "Malfoy had some saving graces by the end of Deathly Hallows?"

Magnus waved a hand. "People only like him because Tom Felton is hot. Which I can't fault, but—"

Behind him, the classroom door creaked open, and Alec walked out, running his hands through his hair, looking annoyed and dishevelled. He glanced across at Magnus and Ragnor; he clearly noticed that both of them were looking at him, and had stopped talking, because he faltered in his steps.

"Sorry," Alec said, looking impossibly awkward. "I didn't mean to—"

"I was just going," Ragnor said. He looked pointedly at Magnus. "Be careful."

"Yes, yes, I'm not twelve years old anymore."

Ragnor made a noise of disagreement under his breath, shook his head, and turned to walk down the corridor. Magnus turned his attention to Alec.

"I wanted to say—"

"Are you—"

Magnus smiled when they both started talking at the same time.

"Uh, go ahead," Alec said. He was blushing again, Magnus noticed. He blushed an awful lot. It was slightly endearing.

"I just wanted to say thank you," Magnus said. "For what you did, earlier. You didn't have to."

Alec shrugged. "Nobody else was going to do it. Someone had to. What they said—" He bit his lip. "I don't think that. Lots of people don't. They probably don't really, either, they just—"

"Think it's cool." Magnus nodded. "I know."

"Are you okay?" Alec asked, looking at him with worry in his eyes. "That was pretty rough. And yesterday, too."

Magnus hadn't realised that Alec had seen that. He didn't want to be pitied. He didn't want Alec to pity him. He wanted to maintain the strong façade he'd . "I'm fine."

He wasn't. He'd thought that coming to a new school, legally Magnus Bane, where nobody except those in power knew he was trans, would make things better. At least in England, most people hadn't said anything. He'd already built up a reputation by the time he came out and began transitioning, so they'd left him alone. And he'd had friends. Here...here he was alone, except for Ragnor, and nobody knew him, so they were picking on him because of the way he dressed. And the things they were assuming about him... It was awful. It made him feel awful. But he didn't see what he could do about it.

"Magnus–" Alec cleared his throat. "If you– If you want to, um, eat lunch. With us, I mean, you– you're welcome to. I mean obviously you don't have to, I just thought—"

"I'd love to," Magnus interrupted him, smiling involuntarily. "Thank you."

Alec smiled, relaxing a little. "You're welcome."

"So, how bad was that?" He jerked his thumb towards the classroom door.

Alec groaned. "Oh, you have no idea."

"Enlighten me."

***

Alec was having an existential crisis in the lunchroom. And Isabelle could tell. She was watching him with slightly narrowed eyes from across the table, silent while Jace, Clary and Simon bickered about Marvel films.

Everything had been fine. It had been absolutely fine. He'd been sitting down, eating his lunch while Simon tried to flirt with Isabelle, and Isabelle walked all over him. He'd looked over at where Jace and Clary were standing in line to buy food, wondering whether Clary was beginning to soften towards Jace, when it had happened.

It had been completely unintentional. He hadn't meant to. At all. But for some reason, he'd given Jace an all-over, and he'd suddenly realised what girls saw in him. Biceps. Shoulders. Narrow waist. Great hair. Decent ass.

And he'd nearly choked on his food, because Jesus Christ, he was checking out his best friend, his adoptive brother. What the fuck was wrong with him? This was Jace, not someone he'd ever date. And he was sitting here thinking he was attractive, and—

"Hi, Alexander."

Alec looked up. Magnus was smiling at him. He knew Isabelle's eyebrows had shot up without looking, because nobody was allowed to call him Alexander. He hated it. His parents used it when they were annoyed with him. It wasn't a name he liked. And yet—

Yet for some reason, he didn't mind it from Magnus.

"Um, hey." He chewed on the inside of his cheek, and slid up into the next seat so Magnus didn't have to squeeze past the people milling around right behind them. "Did you want to sit down?"

"Thank you."

Alec totally didn't think the way Magnus moved was graceful.

"Are you going to introduce us?" Isabelle asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh. Sure. This is Magnus. My...chemistry partner?"

Magnus shrugged, and dropped him a wink. A very glittery wink. "I can work with that."

"Right." Blushing hotly, Alec looked away, and said, "Magnus, this is my sister, Isabelle, and that's Simon. Don't get him talking about anything, because you won't get him to shut up."

"Hey!" Simon looked put out. "I'm offended!"

Alec gave him an unimpressed look. "You've been trying to get Isabelle to go on a date with you for the last month - don't think I haven't noticed - and I'm her bother. I'm not meant to be nice to you."

Simon spluttered. Magnus laughed—not unkindly. With a roll of her eyes, Isabelle leant in and whispered something in Simon's ear.

"Why is Alec blushing and scowling at the same time?" Jace asked, walking back with Clary in tow, the kind of obnoxious ring to his voice that only appeared when he wasn't getting his own way. "And who do I give the cake to?"

"Magnus," Isabelle said. "To both questions."

Jace's gaze landed on Magnus, presumably deducing who he was by process of elimination. "Sebastian is an asshole," was, to Alec's surprise, what Jace said. "Ignore him."

"I wasn't taking it to heart."

Alec had a feeling that Magnus wasn't being entirely truthful, but he didn't say anything. He barely knew Magnus. Of course he wasn't going to say anything.

Jace shrugged. "Good for you. Okay, seriously—" He glared at Alec. "Stop telling people that stupid story."

Alec raised his eyebrows. "I don't think I said anything."

"You told Clary the duck story!"

Isabelle snorted. Alec shrugged, grinning. "Well, she wanted all the facts before she agreed to go on a date with you."

Jace opened his mouth, presumably to say something else annoying that would remind Alec why he'd never entertained the idea of finding Jace attractive or crush-worthy before today. (Not that he had a crush on Jace. He was far too infuriating and arrogant for that.) Then he closed it again, and looked at Clary, who was determinedly not looking back at him.

Then Alec realised what he'd said. Oops.

"Sorry, Clary," he said, trying not to smile.

Jace looked astounded as he stared at her. "You actually—"

"I might," Clary snapped. "But you're not helping your case by asking. Again."

Alec felt warm breath on his cheek, and a voice in his ear said, "Your friends are far more entertaining than I expected anything to be today."

And Alec couldn't help but smile.


	7. They're Not Called Crisps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are arseholes. Magnus doesn't stand by people's shit. They debate whether fried potatoes in packets are called crisps or chips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're called crisps. Just to get that out there. (I mean, I'm British, so...) Again, I took liberties with this prompt, because there's enough angst in this without anybody having romantic feelings for 'a painfully straight arse'.

**Prompt: In which your character is rejected by a painfully straight arse**

 

*******

 

"Alec," Jace mumbled, "do you know there's someone who keeps looking at you?"

"No. And I don't care."

Across the table, Magnus raised his eyebrows, Clary and Simon continued debating something called Deadpool, and Isabelle sighed sympathetically.

It was the week before Thanksgiving. Well, actually, it was four days until Thanksgiving. Alec wasn't looking forward to it. His parents had been out on business pretty much for the last four months straight, coming home for a few months every fortnight only to disappear again, leaving Max steadily more upset, and Alec steadily more stressed. A seventeen year old boy in his junior year could only deal with so much responsibility.

Maryse and Robert had stated that they'd be coming home for Thanksgiving. Alec believed them. Which was the entire problem. He didn't want to believe them. He didn't want to listen to them criticise himself and Isabelle, ignore Max, and act like Jace was the child they'd always wanted. It wasn't Jace's fault - Alec didn't blame Jace - it was just that Jace was... _Jace_.

"I don't mean to pry," Magnus said, after several seconds of tense silence in which Alec avoided everyone else's gaze, "but am I missing something glaringly obvious in my Europeanised view of the world? It's Thanksgiving soon. I thought that was meant to be like Christmas. But you three–" he pointed to Alec, Isabelle and Jace "–look like you're about to be hanged."

Alec shrugged, picking the tomato out of his canteen-bought sandwich. He could try to be an adult and eat the whole thing, but he didn't fucking like raw tomato. He couldn't help it.

"It is," Isabelle said. "But—"

Alec interrupted. "But our parents find fault in everything except Jace's place on the football team. Sorry, Jace."

Jace shrugged. "It's true. Even though your GPA last year was fucking ridiculous. And Alec, seriously, those guys—"

"Really, really don't care, Jace," Alec said.

Magnus frowned. "But you do archery and you want to be a doctor and—" Magnus waved his hands emphatically. "What's wrong with any of that?"

"It's not a 'real sport', and it's not business, that's what." Alec glanced across at Isabelle. "And god, they're even worse about Izzy."

Magnus turned his eyes on Alec's sister. As they spoke about what Isabelle thought she might want to do with her life (her interest in pathology was not something their parents approved of), Alec glanced round to where Jace had been shooting daggers for the last fifteen minutes. And, sure enough, there were a bunch of boys, plus Camille—and the one on the end kept looking over at Alec. When their eyes met, he smirked. Alec looked back down at his food quickly.

"Alexander."

"Hm?" Alec snapped out of his staring into space when Magnus laid a hand on his forearm. Alec was wearing a thick sweater, but the touch still made him jump.

Magnus looked vaguely amused. He didn't move his hand. "Are you alright?"

"What? Yeah, of course. Just...thinking."

"Thinking is a dangerous, dangerous activity, and you should be very wary of doing it too much," Simon said, appearing out of his nerd conversation with Clary. Clary, who, Alec had heard, had finally said yes to Jace.

Alec have Simon an unimpressed look. "I'm sure you don't speak from experience."

"Actually, people usually tell me—"

"Oh, my god." Alec cracked a smile. "Simon, I was joking."

"And I— Wait, what?" His face contorted in confusion. "You were joking?"

"Of course I was. I'm not a complete asshole. Just a bit of an asshole."

Simon held his hands up. "Hey, man, you said it, not me."

Alec rolled his eyes, and Isabelle muffled a laugh with her hand. Her gaze caught somewhere across the canteen, and Alec wondered which poor soul she'd set her sights on now. She was far too young to be dating, wasn't she? She was fifteen. That was too young, right? Right? Sure, Jace had been dating then, but—

Oh, screw it. He didn't want to think about it. Ignorance was bliss.

Magnus still hadn't moved his hand from Alec's forearm. Alec caught his lower lip between his teeth, and chanced a glance over at the glittery boy. Magnus was nodding to something Clary was saying, apparently engrossed in conversation and paying no attention to where his hand was.

Jace smirked. Alec blushed, and flashed him his middle finger.

 _Whipped_ , Jace mouthed.

 _Fuck you_ , Alec mouthed back.

Of course, something had to interrupt their perfectly pleasant lunchtime. And that something came in the form of a tall, busty, beautiful blonde, whom Alec would quiet happily have torn limb from limb.

"Magnus, honey," came Camille's simpering voice, "can we talk?"

Was Alec jealous of the way Camille looked at Magnus? Oh, yeah. Hell yes. He wasn't stupid enough to deny - at least not to himself - that he liked Magnus in a way that was not entirely platonic. Was Alec under the impression that Magnus might, possibly, maybe, return Camille's interest? Yes. Yes, he was. Camille was a bitch, and if they dated she'd probably cheat on Magnus and manipulate him and break his heart, but, apparently, Magnus' first impression of Camille, that day with Sebastian, meant that he quite liked her.

But who did Magnus spend lunchtimes with and laugh with and chat to? Certainly not Camille.

Magnus removed his hand from Alec's arm, and twisted to look at her. "Sure. Go ahead."

"I meant...alone."

Isabelle and Clary exchanged a look of revulsion, and Jace rolled his eyes.

"Fine." Magnus stood up, before turning back to the table. "Alexander, if you eat my crisps, I'll buy you something colourful for Christmas."

Alec looked at him innocently, fighting back his grin. "I don't know what you're talking about. And they're called chips."

Magnus sighed. "Darling, the English invented this language. Pardon me if I'm going to believe them over you."

Alec narrowed his eyes. "You're biased. You're English."

"Actually," Magnus said, after a slight pause, "no, I'm not."

Alec stared at him. "What?"

Magnus smiled. "You heard me."

"Magnus," Camille whined (at least, Alec thought it sounded like a whine—it was probably supposed to be seductive), tugging at his arm. "Come on."

"Way to drop a bombshell, Bane!" Alec shouted as he began to follow after Camille.

Laughing, Magnus called back, "I'll tell you all about it later!"

When Alec turned back to his friends, they were all staring at him.

"What?"

Isabelle shook her head. "Since when does anyone..."

"Since when does anyone what?"

"No, never mind." She smirked. "But you know, I think you need some practise."

"At what, exactly?"

"Asking people out."

Alec watched her warily as Clary, Jace and Simon tittered. "Why?"

"For when you ask out Magnus."

Alec choked. The others cackled.

"I'm not– I am _not_ –"

"Save it for someone who'll believe you, Alec," Isabelle said. "Now—"

"Excuse me."

All five of them turned to the unfamiliar voice. Someone Alec thought might be in his year was standing behind him, too close for comfort, an odd sort of smile on his face.

"Can we help you?" Clary asked, somewhat rudely.

"I, ah–" He gave an embarrassed laugh, eyes fixed on Alec. "I was actually wondering if Alec here fancied getting a drink some time."

Alec stared at him. "Pardon?"

"A drink. With me. Later."

"I...guess?"

Isabelle shook her head frantically, looking mildly horrified. "Alec!" she hissed. "Magnus!"

Alec expected to look up and see Magnus walking back to their table, but he didn't. He had no idea what Isabelle was on about. He didn't even know this guy's name. Why the hell did he want to get a drink with Alec?

"Right." The guy smiled. "Great. I'll see you later, Alec." He winked, and, at once, Alec realised that he'd been asked out on a date. Which was more than a little bit bizarre, because he was fairly sure nobody was out at school (except Magnus, who wore his sexuality on his sleeve and reacted so little to people's taunts that they'd stopped trying) and besides which, who the hell would ask Alec out? Nobody even knew he was gay, and—

 _Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit. Fuck. Fuck my life._ It was a ploy. They'd made someone pretend to ask him out to— What? Out him? How had they even guessed that he wasn't straight?

"Wait!" Alec shouted.

The guy turned, and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"If you're asking me out on a date, I- I mean I'm- I'm not—"

"Gay?" the guy supplied, lips twisted up in something that resembled a smirk, but was closer to a sneer. "That ship just sailed."

"Interested," Alec snapped. "I'm not interested, you asshole."

The guy chuckled. "I'd have stood you up anyway. If you honestly think I was going to go on a date with you, you're wrong. Very wrong. But hey." He held up his hands. "What can I say? Now we know who to avoid in the locker rooms, man."

Alec flushed, partially with embarrassment and partially with anger. Why did people always do that? Why did people always imply that gay guys would gawk at every man or boy they ever encountered?

"Like I'd be interested in you," Alec snapped.

"Be careful," Isabelle murmured.

"Hey, you agreed to go on a date with me! Clearly, you—"

"You know what?" yelled a far too welcome voice. "Screw you."

The guy turned to face Magnus, nose wrinkled. "You're the same."

"No. No, I'm not. Fuck off. Leave him alone."

"Like I'd want to—"

"Oh, you're so witty," Magnus said, rolling his eyes. " _Like I'd want to talk to a fag. Like I'd want to look at anyone who isn't rich, straight and cis._  You're so boring, you people, all of you. Go away."

Magnus sat down close enough to Alec for him to feel his body heat; he could see the angry set of Magnus' jaw.

"Thank you," Alec said quietly, while the others started talking, somewhat awkwardly, clearly trying to pretend that hadn't just happened. Alec was grateful they weren't trying to talk about it.

Magnus smiled gently. "You did it for me."

Alec smiled back, all thoughts of Camille and assholes whom he couldn't remember the names of gone from his mind. "Thank you anyway."


	8. Thanksgiving Isn't Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has a terrible Thanksgiving. Luckily, Magnus is there to distract him. Meanwhile, Raphael's meeting an infuriatingly kind stranger who just won't leave him alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW in this chapter for a few things—referenced rape, referenced child&domestic abuse, referenced suicide, and some mentions/implications of self-harm. Nothing described in any kind of explicit detail. (Thank you to the commenter who pointed out to me that I could do with a prior warning!)

**Prompt: In which your character is offered conversion therapy by their parent/guardian**

 

*******

 

Magnus leant over his bed to unplug his phone and look at the caller ID to check who was calling him at nine o'clock in the evening on supposedly one of the best-loved American holidays. He raised his eyebrows when he saw Alec Lightwood's name on his screen. He'd given Alec his number weeks ago. They'd never called each other.

"Well, this is a surprise," Magnus said, upon answering.

"You never did tell me. The other day, when you said you weren't born in England. You never explained."

Magnus' eyebrows hitched higher. "You're calling me on the evening of Thanksgiving, when your parents are home, your family all together for once, to ask about my tragic childhood?"

Alec laughed. He sounded tired. "I'm calling you because of all that. Just...please distract me."

"Is everything okay?" Magnus asked, softening his voice.

"Not really. But I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. Hold on a sec."

Magnus plugged headphones into his phone so he could talk to Alec and still have his hands free to eat his take-away. Jem and Will were out for the evening, else Magnus would never have been allowed to eat in his bedroom.

"Still there?" Alec asked.

"Mm-hm. So, Alexander, what exactly do you want to know?"

There was a pause. "Well... I mean, anything. Whatever you're prepared to tell me. If you don't want to tell me, don't, I've just had a really crappy day and I wanted to talk to you."

And, oh, if that didn't warm Magnus' heart. He smiled, crossing his legs as he twirled noodles around his chopsticks.

"I'm eating take-away," Magnus said, "so excuse me if I sound like I'm talking with my mouth full. I am."

"I'm sorry, I can call you back, I—"

"No no. Don't be silly. I was actually born in Indonesia, on a little village farm, near Bali."

"In Jakarta? Do you speak Indonesian?" Alec asked.

"It was my first language. I also speak some Dutch. My mother was half-Dutch. I never knew my grandparents, or my biological father, and my step-father was a complete arse."

Alec was quiet. "You don't have to tell me this, Magnus."

"I want to," he said, and was surprised to find that he did. Alec had told him so much about him, and his siblings and his parents; while he hadn't explicitly said that he was gay and his parents were homophobic, he'd implied it. Magnus wanted Alec to know about him, too. Maybe not everything, yet, but...some of it.

"Okay." Alec sounded nervous, though Magnus didn't understand why. "Okay. Sorry. I'll shut up."

"My mother... Well, no. My step-father thought my mother had an affair, when he realised that I looked nothing like him. I don't know for certain, but I- I don't think she did. She loved my step-father. I think she was raped."

He heard Alec's sharp inhale on the other end of the phone. Magnus closed his eyes, shame filling him. He was the product of rape. He was the result of somebody tearing his mother's dignity and control over her own body away from her. He was born from violence and loathsome pleasure. He was born from the most disgusting, revolting act in the world. And...maybe Alec wouldn't look at him the same way.

Alec didn't say a word. So Magnus continued.

"My step-father got violent. He abused her. He abused me. She protected me when she could, but...eventually it was too much. I found her in our barn. She'd hung herself. Drawn slits along her wrists with a knife, too." Magnus knew he sounded bitter, and he swallowed. He always felt numb when he told this story. Not that he'd told it many times. It felt like it had all happened to a different person—someone who wasn't him. Something he'd seen in a film.

"When my step-father found out, he was furious. He yelled at me. Told me it was all my fault. He tried to drown me. That's why I hate water so much."

Magnus had nearly had a heart attack when Isabelle and Jace had talked about doing the ice bucket challenge, and turned to him to suggest he, too, did it. He'd told them he hated water; he hadn't said why.

"I managed to run away. He was drunk, and I– There was something in the lake. A rock or something. I hit him with it." Magnus' heart thudded. Alec knew, now. Knew what he'd done. "I don't even know whether he's still alive. There was a UNICEF facility not that far away. They tried to find my step-father, and send me back to him, but they couldn't. He disappeared. So they decided to send me to England, because I spoke English and didn't have any family in Indonesia."

"How old were you?" Alec asked, his voice barely a whisper on the other end of the phone, nothing but compassion in his voice.

"Eight, when my step-father tried to drown me. Nine, when I came to England. But then in London, I- I was lucky. Everyone expected me to live the rest of my childhood in foster care. But my parents - my adoptive parents - for some reason they were happy to take in a twelve year old, traumatised kid, rather than a baby or a toddler. I don't know why. But they're the best thing that happened to me."

"Your dad is a physiotherapist, right?"

Magnus hesitated. Alec was gay. At least, Magnus was ninety percent sure that Alec was gay. He'd implied it, several times, even if he hadn't said it outright. Besides which, would he really care? Was he the kind of person who'd be judgemental, even if he was straight? Magnus doubted it. Alec was too kind-hearted for that.

"Magnus?"

"Yeah. Sorry, yes, Will is."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume you called them—"

Magnus rushed to explain. "It's not that. My parents are both men. Will and Jem. I never called them 'Dad' just because it was easier not to. But I refer to them as my parents, and as my fathers."

"What does Jem do?" Alec asked, not missing a beat.

Magnus nearly breathed a sigh of relief. It was fine. Alec knew, and he didn't seem to care. He could stop picking his way carefully around the whole truth when he talked about his parents.

"He's a consultant. Do you call it that in America?"

Alec chuckled. "Not really, but I know what you mean."

"Right. That's sort of why we moved. Partly because Will and Jem have always wanted to experience the world, I think, but also because Jem hated working in the conditions he did. It got really crazy."

"I—"

Alec was cut off by something on the other end of the line. Magnus could hear muffled shouting, but he couldn't make out any of the words. He heard Alec sigh in exasperation.

"I'm seventeen years old, Mom!" he shouted. "Fine!"

"I'll let you go," Magnus said, sensing that Alec needed to end this call. "I hope the rest of your day isn't too bad."

"Yeah. Thank you. For talking to me."

Magnus smiled. "Anytime. Goodnight, Alexander."

"Goodnight, Magnus."

***

"Woah!"

There was a shout from the end of the street. Raphael didn't turn to look. He was standing in a dark alleyway, at the end, trembling with anger and frustration and heartache. It was probably some drunkard who most definitely was not talking to him.

Raphael swallowed around the tightness in his throat. He'd told his mother, last week. Told her that he thought he was gay. And she'd started shouted, calling him a monster, telling him he was sinful and needed to fix himself. She'd ranted and spat and screamed, about the Bible and sex and monogamy and unnatural people.

She hadn't given him a chance to tell her that the thought of sex made him cringe.

They hadn't brought it up again, after that night. They'd acted like it hadn't happened. They only had each other. Maybe she thought that it was a phase; that he was only fifteen, so would change his mind, soon.

But then tonight, over dinner, she'd mentioned it. Mentioned getting help. She'd offered him fucking conversion therapy, all calm and reasonable, as though he goddamn wanted to change. As though he wanted to like girls.

Maybe he did. Maybe it would be easier if he did. But he didn't want to go through conversion therapy to do it. He'd heard the horror stories. Besides, he'd seen how Magnus Bane held himself at school, confident and uncaring of the way other people treated him—outwardly, at least. It had earned the glittery boy a grudging respect from most people in the school.

Couldn't Raphael do the same thing? Wear it proudly? Prove to his mother that it wasn't a bad thing? Earn her respect back?

"Dude! Man!"

Raphael ignored it, clenching his fingers into a fist against the wall. God, he was so angry. Why did the world have to be so shitty? The only thing he had in the world was his mother. She meant more to him than anything. And this - something he couldn't help - was going to drive an enormous wedge between them.

He could do nothing about it.

With a scream of frustration, he slammed his fist against the wall. He moaned in pain when a searing sting shot up and down his arm. Fuck, if he'd broken his hand...

"Oh my god, dude!"

The voice was closer now. Raphael didn't turn to look. He was fighting against the lump in his throat. Fighting against the nausea building in his stomach. Fighting against the painful, crippling desire to pound his fists against the rough bricks until every bone in his hands was smashed, because maybe it would distract him from the pain in his heart.

He lifted his hand to slam it against the wall again, when fingers wrapped around his wrist, holding fast.

"Dude, stop, stop," said the voice, frantic and right next to him. "What the hell? Are you trying to end up in the ER?"

"It would be better than being here," Raphael snapped, yanking his hand out of the stranger's grip.

"It really wouldn't. Vomit and blood and drunk people?" The stranger shuddered. "Uh-uh. No thank you."

"I don't care about other people's bodily fluids or their inebriated states. Leave me alone."

"No. I'm pretty sure you're not meant to leave someone alone if they're self-harming."

Raphael turned to look at the stranger properly, fixing him with a cold stare. It was a boy, Raphael realised. A boy who didn't really look all that much older than him. His glasses were lopsided, brown hair appearing as though it hadn't been brushed in a week, and Raphael had the strangest urge to make him look more presentable. His fingers positively itched to push those glasses back up his nose, into place.

"I'm not self-harming," Raphael said.

"You just hit the wall so hard your hand is bleeding!" The boy waved at Raphael's fists. "I'm pretty sure that counts as self-harming."

"I don't even know you. Go away."

"Even better." The boy, whoever he was, didn't look like he planned on going away any time soon. "You can tell me why you're trying to break your wrists and probably never see me again."

Raphael rolled his eyes. "I'm gay, and my mother just offered me conversion therapy. Okay? Now will you go away?"

"Jesus. I'm sorry, that's—"

"Don't be sorry, just leave me alone. I don't know you, and I don't want to talk to you."

"I'm Simon," the boy said. "Simon Lewis. And I'm pretty sure I've seen you at school."

Raphael didn't care. He just wanted to be left alone to feel miserable.

"Oh, you're giving me the silent treatment now," Simon said. Raphael could hear the smile in his voice. He wanted to slap him. "That's okay. I'm good at rambling. About garbage, I'm usually told."

Raphael had the deepest sympathy for whichever poor soul had to listen to Simon every day.

"Look, parents are parents. They love you, but they want you to do and be whatever they tell you, and nothing else. But they do love you. I'm sure your mom will come around. Is she religious? Wait, you're not talking to me. If she's religious, maybe she just needs to be reminded that there's loads of stuff in religion that we accept now. I'm Jewish. I don't follow every single word of the Torah. Hey, if she's thinking about conversion therapy - which is gross, by the way, if you didn't know, so don't do it - at least she's talking to you. That's something, right? Try - I don't know, I'm straight, I'm not good at this - explaining your point of view? I mean—"

" _Dios_ , do you never shut up?" Raphael demanded.

"You sound so much like Alec," Simon muttered. "Just more Spanish."

"You've ranted at me. I'd rather go home than listen to you a minute longer. Will you go away, now?"

Simon grinned. "Nope."

"Oh, for goodness' sake, what do I have to say to get you to leave?"

"You have to tell me your name."

"My name is Raphael Santiago," Raphael snapped. "Now—"

"And your phone number."

Raphael stared at him. What the hell? He'd have thought Simon were asking for his number to ask him out, except Simon had quite literally just said he was straight. (Okay. Maybe Raphael had paid some attention to what he was blathering about.)

"Why do you want my phone number?" Raphael asked warily.

Simon shrugged. "Because I've just met someone with a tragic story in an alley at one o'clock in the morning on Thanksgiving. I'm not an ass. It'd be nice to know you don't, you know, commit suicide in a couple of hours or anything."

Raphael raised his eyebrows. Was he for real? He wanted Raphael's number to go on suicide watch? Raphael wasn't suicidal. The thought of committing suicide hadn't even crossed his mind. There was far too much he wanted to do in life for that.

"I'm not going to commit suicide, Simon."

Simon shrugged. "Humour me."

"I don't have my phone."

"I do. I'll call you later. Check you're okay."

And, behind the idiotic joking and the stupid grinning, Raphael thought he saw a flash of compassion in the other boy's eyes. So, with a long-suffering sigh, Raphael began to recite his number, watching as Simon tapped it into his phone.

"All right?" Simon asked, shoving his too-bright phone screen in Raphael's face. No wonder he wore glasses, if all his screens were so goddamn bright.

"Yes. Now will you leave me alone?"

"I'll walk you back to the main road, then I'll leave you alone."

Raphael huffed again. "Fine."

Simon clapped him on the shoulder. "Come on, Raph."

Raphael smacked his hand away. "Don't you dare call me that."

Simon laughed all the way to the road.

***

**[From: Alec Lightwood at 23:56]**

**I hate Thanksgiving.**

Magnus couldn't help but smile when he saw the text, even though the situation wasn't even slightly amusing. But Alec was texting him sulky texts at nearly midnight, and Magnus was curled up in bed, surrounded by fluffy pillows and wrapped in a thick duvet, and it just felt...nice. Friendly. Warm.

**[From: Magnus Bane at 23:59]**

**What happened?**

**[From: Alec Lightwood at 00:00]**

**Parents favoured Jace, snapped at us. Usual bullshit.**

**[From: Magnus Bane at 00:00]**

**I'm sorry. Feel free to rant to me tomorrow.**

**[From: Alec Lightwood at 00:01]**

**I just want to forget it ever happened.**

 

**[From: Alec Lightwood at 00:01]**

**I should probably go to sleep. Goodnight, Magnus.**

**[From: Magnus Bane at 00:02]**

**Goodnight, Alexander.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to god, these chapters were meant to be 1-2k words. But hey, some Saphael, at last! I've never written Saphael before, so if I've just ruined your favourite ship, I'm sorry.


	9. Romance Begins at Applebee's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone gets sick, the author fails to write sick-fic chapters, and Ragnor, Magnus and Catarina have a conversion. Everything happens in Applebee's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was honestly the most horrible prompt in the world, because I absolutely suck at writing anything relating to sickness. So this deviates from the prompt a bit. Just a bit. I also had to Google Applebee's (we don't have them here) so I'm sorry if what little I've written about the setting is completely wrong.

**Prompt: In which your character gets sick in the bathroom at Applebee's**

 

*******

 

Alec could barely remember the last time he'd been sick. He couldn't really remember the last time he'd even had a cold. But, apparently, his body had decided that two weeks before Christmas, in the bathroom at Applebee's with his siblings, was the time to get painfully, revoltingly ill.

He braced himself against the cool tiles of the sink, splashing water over his face in an attempt to cool his feverish skin. He hated being ill. He usually denied it until it was impossible not to. Unfortunately, having just puked his guts up in the toilet, he had a feeling that his siblings would be able to tell. That, plus the fact that he'd darted out of his seat in the middle of a conversation.

"Alec!" said a voice from the doorway, surprised but not displeased. "I didn't know you were here!"

Oh, god, no. No, no, no. Why did the world hate him so much?

He turned to face Magnus, plastering a shaky smile on his face. "Hey, Magnus."

Magnus' smile dropped a little. "Are you alright? You look sick."

"I'm fine." _Please don't throw up again, please don't throw up again._

"Are you sure?" Magnus looked concerned, and lifted his hand to Alec's forehead. "You're boiling."

Magnus' fingers felt blissfully cool against his skin. Or maybe it was the metal of his rings. Either way, it felt nice, and the temperature was definitely, absolutely, certainly the reason Alec wanted to lean into the touch.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Magnus made a dubious little humming noise, but, apparently, he decided to let it go, to Alec's relief.

"I'm here with Ragnor and Catarina," Magnus said, referring to his friends, also from England, whom Alec had met a few times. "But if you're free later, we could go and do something."

Alec attempted to sound like he wasn't shivering. "I, ah, think Izzy has a schedule for today." She didn't. But the thought of doing anything except curling up in bed with the AC on, drinking sugar-free lemonade, and possibly watching Netflix, made Alec cringe. "Tomorrow, maybe?"

Magnus smiled, and nodded. "Text me later."

"Alright. See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow, Alexander."

Magnus reached up on his toes and pressed his lips to Alec's cheek, before he turned and walked out of the bathroom.

Alec stared after him, fingers brushing over his cheek. Magnus had just kissed him. On the cheek, maybe, but— Did friends do that? Did friends kiss each other like that? Did he need to ask Izzy for advice?

Fuck, no, he couldn't ask Isabelle. She'd never let him live it down. Never. But what the hell was he supposed to get from Magnus kissing his cheek? Was Magnus just being himself—flirty and bright and colourful?

Magnus didn't normally kiss people on the cheek. Did that mean he liked Alec? Maybe he was testing the waters. Alec didn't think he'd ever said to Magnus, outright, that he was gay. Hell, he didn't think he'd ever said it outright in his life, to anyone.

 _Breathe_ , he reminded himself. _This isn't helpful._

He needed to calm down. If Magnus liked him, he'd say so. It wasn't like he really did subtle very well.

Although coy—he could do coy infuriatingly well.

***

"You know," Ragnor said conversationally as he stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork, "if you like him, you could just...ask him out. It's not like you've never done it before."

Magnus sighed heavily. Alec and his siblings had left the restaurant right after Alec had come out of the bathroom, Isabelle fussing over him. Magnus hadn't bought his story about being 'fine', at all.

"I still haven't told him." Magnus cringed at how salty his chips were. "I haven't told anyone here."

Catarina kicked him under the table.

"Hey!" He looked at her, hurt. "What was that for?"

"Because you're so stupid about things," Ragnor said.

"Pardon me for being concerned that telling someone that I'm a guy without a dick might not end well." Magnus glared at both of them.

To his surprise, Catarina spoke. "If he's as decent as you say he is, he's not going to care."

Catarina didn't like speaking, since she'd had her accident. Magnus hadn't known the family before Catarina's accident had caused her to lose her hearing, but, from what Ragnor had said, she didn't like to talk when she couldn't tell what she sounded like. She preferred to use sign language, but she seemed to be a fairly decent lip reader, when people spoke clearly, because she often seemed to know what people were saying without being told.

Magnus had made an effort to learn some sign language. He could finger-spell at her, or she to him, if the situation called for it, and he knew some basic words and phrases. Regardless, it was unusual for Catarina to talk in public.

Clearly, she felt strongly about this situation.

"But isn't there a difference between not caring, and still seeing me as- as dating material?"

"As what?"

 _D-a-t-i-n-g-m-a-t-e-r-i-a-l_ , he spelt out.

"Obviously, yes," Ragnor said. "But stalling on this is the most singularly unhelpful thing you can possibly do. For him and for you."

"I'm not in love with him. Stop making it sound so serious."

"Maybe not. But you like him. So stop seeing who you are as some kind of insurmountable obstacle to be overcome. It's not. The right person won't care, Magnus. The right person will just view it as part of all the millions of things that make up you. Like your utter obsession with glitter, or your impulsive texting."

"I am not an impulsive texter," Magnus retorted, indignant. Honestly, why did he have these sorts of friends who said such terrible and hurtful things?

"You are," Catarina said.

"I'm offended."

Ragnor clearly didn't think the joking was particularly amusing. He set his fork down - loudly - and leant across the table, fixing Magnus with a stern gaze.

"I'm serious, Magnus," he said. "I don't know whether you're using this an excuse because there are other things you're scared of, or whether you really think Alec is going to turn tail and run if you tell him the truth, but stop making everything so difficult for yourself."

"I can't help it," Magnus said. "I'm nervous. I'm nervous about telling him. I'm nervous about the implications. And- Nobody's realised. I'm passing. I've passed, for months, without a single person realising. It's just- It's nice to be able to pretend that I'm not- that I'm real. Or rather, that other people will see me as real."

Ragnor's expression softened. "You are real."

"I know. I know that. I'm just not sure about everyone else."

"Forget about everyone else, for a minute," Ragnor said. "Focus on him."

Magnus thought about those infuriatingly blue eyes of Alec's, and how far up he had to crane his neck to look at them, and smiled. "Occasionally, Ragnor, you do give the best advice."

Ragnor leant back in clear satisfaction. "It would be nice if you took it more than once every three years."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes, I know, those lines were much more effective in the show. I couldn't resist. I loved that interaction between Magnus and Ragnor, so I shamelessly copied it. Sue me. (Don't. I have no money.)


	10. I Used To Think I Was Straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Isabelle stares at someone, Simon's being secretive, Alec and Magnus are definitely, one-hundred percent not dating, and Raphael turns up for a bit at the end.

**Prompt: In which your character experiments with someone of a different gender to normal**

 

*******

 

Alec watched, with his eyebrows raised, as Simon leant back in his chair at lunch, fingers flying over his phone, paying Isabelle absolutely no attention. Not that Alec was complaining - one less person he had to worry about throwing themself at his sister's feet - but it was...odd. Even for Simon, it was odd.

It was a matter of days before the Christmas break, and, frankly, Alec would much rather have kept on at school, waking up obscenely early and doing homework until late. Thanksgiving had been bad enough. He wasn't sure he could go through it all again quite so soon.

"Magnus," Isabelle said, looking across the canteen, "do you know who that is?"

Magnus glanced across at her. "Who?"

"Her." Isabelle jerked her chin towards a blonde girl in Alec's year. He'd sat next to her in a calculus lesson last year.

"Lydia Branwell," Alec said. "Why?"

Isabelle didn't make any snide comments, like Alec expected her to. He expected her to tease him for knowing anybody's name. She didn't. She merely shrugged, and looked back down at her hands. "No reason."

Magnus caught his gaze, and they exchanged a glance full of meaning. Isabelle was being secretive. Maybe Magnus had only known them all for a few months (though, frankly, it felt like Alec had been friends with Magnus for years) but even he knew that secretive wasn't part of Isabelle's nature.

Which was why Alec felt so bad about making her keep his secret for all these years.

"Isabelle, my dear, fashion-forward Lightwood," Magnus said, "are you quite all right?"

Isabelle popped a piece of chewing gum into her mouth, appearing entirely surprised by Magnus' question. "Of course. Simon, on the other hand—" She threw her (unused) plastic spoon at his head.

Simon made an undignified squeaking sound, flushed, and glared up at Isabelle. Alec could only imagine the comments Jace would have made, if he'd witnessed that. But he and Clary had disappeared twenty minutes ago, and Alec would much rather stab himself in the hand than think about what they were doing.

"What on earth are you doing?" Isabelle asked, clearly amused. "You've been texting someone for hours. Who is it?" She peered round to get a look at his phone, but Simon snatched it away, clicking his screen off.

"Nobody! It's nobody! It's- Uh-"

"Somebody you don't want to tell us about?" Alec suggested.

"Right! Wait, no, I mean no, of course not, I—"

"We could ask Clary," Magnus mused, dragging a red-tipped nail (blood red? kind-of-dark red? Alec didn't know what to call it) across the filthy table. "I'm sure she'd be very forthcoming."

"Firstly," Simon said, stuffing his phone away, "Clary is my best friend, and best friends never spill each other's secrets. It's, like, best friend code. Rules of being best friends. Best friends: The 101. How to—"

"And secondly?" Alec interrupted.

"Secondly, Clary doesn't know, so...so ha. You can't ask her. Well, you can, but you'll be disappointed."

Alec saw Magnus turn his head to hide a grin; Alec wished he wouldn't do that. The way Magnus smiled when he hadn't expected to smile - that little quirk of his lips, the unexpected flash of teeth, the lopsided curl of his lips or the surprised burst of laughter - it was beautiful.

"We'll find out," Isabelle assured him. "Don't worry. We'll wear you down. Or just steal your phone when you're sleeping in class."

"I do not sleep in class!"

"You totally do," Isabelle said. "You drool on the desks. Jace told me."

"Jace would say anything to make me look bad!"

"To be fair," Magnus said, "that's probably true. I would take all and any of Jace's proclaimed truths with a pinch of salt."

Alec shook his head in a bizarre sort of amusement. "Does everyone in London talk like that? Or is it just you?"

"Just one of my quirks, darling." Magnus winked at him.

"I swear," Isabelle said, "you two are actually dating even worse than Jace and Clary were actually dating."

"And there's my cue to leave," Alec said, standing up and snatching up his rubbish. "We're not dating. Just to make it official. Okay? No dating here."

Isabelle smirked. "I'm sorry, Alec, I forgot about your rigid heterosexuality."

Alec rolled his eyes at her, and sent her the kind of smile a person could only send to their siblings, that could be interpreted as nothing except _I really hate you_. Isabelle sent him one right back.

"Man," Simon said, "like, I respect your bro-ness and all, but I'm pretty sure that ship sailed."

Alec turned to Simon, tipping his chin down in a kind of _Excuse me?_ motion.

Simon looked uncomfortable. "I mean, you just, like—" He waved his hands with significantly less grace and meaning than Magnus did. "Like—"

Like what? Like, _Alec, everyone knows you're gay_? Like, _Alec, your crush on Magnus is so obvious even to socially-inept me_?

"I think that's enough embarrassing of Alec for now," Magnus said. A warm hand rested on Alec's shoulder, and he felt himself relax a little. "Come on. You have a biology test to get to."

"I'm pretty sure it's my job to memorise your timetable, not vice-versa," Alec said, allowing Magnus to steer him away from the table, ignoring Isabelle's pointed throat clearing and muttered, " _Dating_."

"I have absolutely no idea what lesson I have next," Magnus told him, "but you have been stressing about this entirely arbitrary test that will not affect anything in your life ever for the last two weeks. I'm not likely to forget about it any time soon."

"You've got calc. And it'll affect my GPA."

"Alexander." Magnus shook his head, a little smile on his lips. "Your GPA is already so high I've stopped trying to compete. Flunking one test won't ruin your life. And besides which, you know everything you need to. So relax. You're going to be fine."

Alec exhaled, and nodded. "You're right."

"Of course I am. I'm very rarely wrong."

"Modest as hell, too."

Magnus grinned, and spread his hands wide as Alec began to back away towards his locker. "What can I say? I'm not going to deny this perfection."

"You're such an ass!" Alec called to him.

"I'm a loveable 'ass'!"

Alec really, really hated Magnus Bane sometimes.

They said there was a fine line between love and hate.

***

"Raphael!"

Raphael smiled. He plastered his expression back into something neutral before turning around, acting like he wasn't even remotely excited by Simon's arrival. It was a lie, this front he was putting on. A complete lie. He couldn't help it.

After that night, Simon had called him three times. Raphael had ignored him. So Simon had started spamming him with texts. And dear god, he was persistent. Raphael had had to respond just to get him to shut the hell up, because it was two in the morning, and his phone kept lighting up and beeping, and it was so _annoying_.

And then they'd just sort of fallen into this pattern, since Thanksgiving. They'd text, and exchange little looks whenever they passed each other at school, and sometimes they'd meet up outside the misfit, hole-in-the-wall café called Taki's that Simon and his friends apparently frequented more often than was probably healthy, considering how much sugar most of their products contained.

"Good afternoon, Simon."

Simon wrinkled his nose, hands shoved deep in his jeans pockets. His t-shirt had a shabby picture of Darth Vader on the front - clearly, it was well-worn and frequently washed - and Raphael couldn't help the stab of amusement that went through him. Amusement that had become less scathing and more fond over the last few weeks.

"Do you have to talk like you're from nineteen-twenty?" Simon asked.

"Do you have to talk like you're from an episode of Big Bang Theory?" Raphael retorted. "Because I have immense sympathy for Magnus calling you Sheldon."

Simon crossed his arms. "How do you know about that? Since when are you and Magnus best buddies?"

Raphael smirked. "We're not. But Ragnor Fell was very forthcoming."

"You're adorable. Making friends with the big guys."

"I'm Isabelle's age."

Simon laughed (Raphael wasn't quite sure why) and reached out to ruffle his hair. Raphael snarled at him, slapping at his hand and ducking away from him. Why on earth was he friendly with this- this complete geek?

"So," Simon said, once he'd stopped trying to abuse Raphael. "Where do you want to go?"

Raphael shrugged, deliberately not looking at Simon.

"Raph." He could hear the teasing lilt in Simon's voice when he used that awful, infuriating nickname. "Hello? Earth to Santiago?"

Raphael glared at him.

"Oh, you're ignoring me," Simon stated, still smiling. "That's fine. I'll just drag you somewhere and not hear your opinion. Come on. Let's go."

With that, he grabbed Raphael's hand and hauled him across to the other side of the road. Raphael mode a protesting noise in the back of his throat, because God, this was New York, Simon was going to get them run over if he ran across the road like that.

" _Dios_ , what are you doing?" Raphael shouted.

Simon looked over his shoulder at Raphael and grinned, wide and wild and alive, eyes bright. "I'm having fun, Santiago. You should try it some time."

The two of them raced down the street, Simon jerking him sideways every time he wanted to change direction. And, within seconds, Raphael was laughing too, because people were glaring at them and muttering about teenagers, and it was so utterly ridiculous, he couldn't care less about what other people thought.

"Stop, Simon," he gasped after a few minutes as they ran past a marketplace and down a side street, which was almost entirely empty, save for an elderly woman walking her dog. "I can't- Slow down."

Simon jogged to a stop, smile stretched huge across his face. It wasn't windy or warm, but his cheeks were red, his hair wrecked, and his eyes seemed to sparkle with life. Raphael had never seen him like that. Raphael had assumed that Simon just got his kicks out of video games and comics. Apparently, he was wrong.

Both of them were breathing heavily, and Raphael had a stitch in his side, but his smile matched Simon's. His mother hadn't brought up conversion therapy again; she'd been acting like nothing had happened. Raphael hated it. But Simon made him feel better. Simon let him forget. Just for a few minutes, a couple of hours after school, once or twice a week, Simon let him forget about all of that.

Really, Raphael didn't have many friends. He was clever, and he spoke in Spanish when he got emotional, and people found him emotionally reserved. But maybe...maybe he could consider Simon his friend.

"Look me in the eye," Simon said, still grinning impossibly wide, "and tell me that you didn't enjoy that."

Raphael let out a laugh. "It was insane. We didn't even do anything. We ran through a few streets."

"I know." Simon looked so excited, but his smile began to slip off his face to be replaced with a sort of intense urgency. "Life can be fun, Raphael. You don't have to have loads of money or loads of friends or get absolutely everything you want to have fun. Life is good. You can make life good. Simple things make it so much better."

For a moment, Raphael stared at him. Because where on earth did something like that come from? Had Simon spent all afternoon planning this, planning that speech, planning the effect a random sprint through New York would have on Raphael?

Of course he hadn't. Simon was spontaneous. That was his whole point. Raphael liked to plan things, and he liked things to be ordered, but Simon...Simon wanted to show him that spontaneity could be a good thing, sometimes. An essential thing.

But how? How could you be spontaneous? How could you be spontaneous without planning your act of spontaneity?

One minute, Raphael stood there staring at Simon, worrying about how inconceivable it would be for him to do anything spontaneous in his life. And the next, he caught the way Simon's eyes flashed down to his lips; he noticed the ruffle of Simon's curly hair as the wind blew, ever so softly, through the street; he wondered what it would be like to touch his hair, and his lips.

Raphael had his arms around Simon's neck and was kissing him, full on the mouth, before his rational thoughts had caught up with pure, base instinct. Simon fell back against the wall he'd been half leaning against. Raphael's heart fluttered desperately beneath his ribs, but he didn't have time to panic about what he'd done, because, with a surprised groan, muffled against Raphael's lips, Simon's arms came around his waist, and Simon was kissing him back.

Raphael's fingers found Simon's hair. They brushed through it, meeting so many knots that, somewhere in the back of his mind, he filed away a new piece of information about Simon Lewis: _he_   _never brushes his stupid hair._ He gasped, fingers tightening on reflex, when Simon's teeth caught at his lower lip.

"Shit," Simon whispered against his lips. He retracted his hands, which had slid under the edge of Raphael's polo shirt, and slowed their kiss down, pressing small, delicate kisses to the corners of Raphael's mouth and along his cheek.

Apparently, Simon was more in control of his faculties than Raphael was.

Simon let out a rueful laugh. "I, ah, suppose now would be a good time to tell you that I thought I was straight?"

"Are you going to have a sexuality crisis and scream at me about your masculinity?" Raphael asked cautiously, letting his eyelids flutter open to look at Simon. He had freckles. Raphael hadn't noticed that before. Across the bridge of his nose, not spreading out more than a few centimetres, there was a smattering of tiny brown freckles.

"No." Simon shook his head, eyes still closed. He pursed his lips, and it took Raphael a moment to realise that he was licking his lips. "No, I don't think so. I just...didn't expect it."

Finally, he opened his eyes, and smiled. "That was interesting. Kissing a guy, I mean. You've got stubble." Simon dragged his fingers gently along Raphael's jawline.

"Interesting?" Raphael questioned. Because 'interesting' sounded like it implied experimental, and Raphael wasn't sure he could deal with straight boy experimenting with him. Especially when the straight boy was Simon, who, frankly, was a decent friend, and not one Raphael wanted to have to lose.

"Mmm." Simon's eyes were soft. "And weirdly nice."

Raphael wanted to make some snide comment about a kiss being _nice_ , but he couldn't find it in him. Instead, he said, "Why weird?"

Simon had the same amused look he always gave Raphael when he thought the other boy was questioning something obvious. "Well, I thought I was straight. Kissing guys never really appealed to me. Possibly that's because the only guys I'm close to are Jace and Alec. Jace is so straight it hurts, and kind of an asshole, and I thought Alec hated me until, like, a month ago—turns out he's just playing protective older brother or something. Oh, and I guess Magnus, but I'm pretty sure Alec would kill me if I made a move on Magnus, so—"

"Shut. Up." Raphael put his finger over Simon's lips, smiling. "I'm glad it surpassed your expectations."

"Don't tell anyone what I just said about Magnus and Alec," Simon said against his finger. "Alec would kill me if he knew I'd said that, too. Actually, he probably—"

"Simon."

"Yeah? Sorry, am I rambling again? I'm rambling again. I'm sorry, I don't know why I can't shut up, it must—"

Apparently, the only way to shut him up was to kiss him again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes, I know, that was stupidly cheesy and my attempts at snarking fell sadly flat, but I tried. Comments (criticism, advice and all) are always much appreciated :) Thank you for reading, and happy day 10 of Pride month!


	11. I'll Hit You With The Textbook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camille is a bitch, Magnus does not understand chemistry, and Alec meets Magnus' parents.

**Prompt: In which your character's friend is against same-sex marriage**

 

*******

 

Christmas, in the end, had been a vastly unexciting affair in the Lightwood household. Alec's parents had behaved themselves, and had managed not to upset Max or Isabelle over the holiday season, before announcing that they were going to Chicago on a business trip straight after New Year's.

Sadly, Will and Jem had taken Magnus back to London for the two week school break, so, despite numerous texts, Alec hadn't seen Magnus since before the holidays.

And, currently, sitting in chemistry on the first day back, he felt very alone. The family's flight back had been cancelled, so they'd had to catch one the next day, and Magnus had yet to arrive. Alec suspected he wouldn't see him until tomorrow.

But, when he walked out of the canteen, sandwich in hand, heading to the library to get some homework done because Jace and Simon had started arguing, and he couldn't deal with it, he caught a flash of colour and sparkle and glitter that could only possibly belong to one person.

He looked up from his phone to the row of lockers along the left-hand wall, and stopped. Magnus stood by his locker, peering inside, flicking through his books. His hair was ruffled, clothes not quite as perfect as usual, and he looked tired, from what Alec could see. But he didn't look miserable.

"Magnus!" he called out, cringing a little when everyone near him turned to look at him.

Magnus turned at his voice, and a grin lit up his face. "Alexander!"

Alec grinned as he walked over, weaving his way through the other people all heading the other way. To his surprise, Magnus wasted no time in reaching up and giving him a hug, tight and warm, and, for a moment, Alec closed his eyes as he hugged Magnus back.

"It seems like far too long since I last saw you," Magnus said when he pulled away, lowering himself back down off his toes. Everyone was short compared to Alec.

"How was England?" Alec asked.

Magnus waved a hand. "As cold and dreary as I remembered. But nice. It was nice to go back. Will and Jem took me on the London Eye, which is just about the only famous thing I haven't been to in London." Magnus shook his head, smiling wryly. "All Will talked about was how he and Jem had had their first date in the restaurant downstairs, and their first kiss looking out above London, et cetera, et cetera. It was vile. Jem was mortified. I'm pretty sure Will was only doing it because some miserable family glared at us when we walked on and Will and Jem were holding hands."

Alec let out a laugh. "Are you sure you and Will aren't related? Have you cross-checked your family trees?"

Magnus smacked his arm. "I don't like your implications, Lightwood."

"What? Are you telling me that's not exactly the kind of thing you'd do? Talk really loudly about how much you loved some super hot guy's abs or something in front of a bunch of homophobes?"

Magnus shrugged. "I will admit to nothing."

"You don't need to admit it. I know."

Magnus shut his locker and swung his bag up onto his shoulder. "Where're you heading?"

"Library. I have too much work and I've only been back at school four hours."

"I've been awake for twenty-six hours, and Jem still made me go to school."

Alec raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Parents are evil? But can I ask you a favour?"

"Sure."

"I just got all that chemistry work you did this morning, and I—" He shook his head, laughing almost embarrassedly. "I understand none of it. Can you explain it?"

"Probably?" Alec chewed on the inside of his cheek. "I mean—"

"Great." Magnus smiled. "It wasn't really a question. You understand everything."

"Do you want to go through it now, or—?"

Magnus groaned as Alec pushed open the door of the library, and shook his head dramatically. "Now, I need to collapse on a desk and sleep. I'm so tired. But tonight? After school? You could come over."

Alec dumped his back on a table, and Magnus sunk into a chair with a groan.

"Are Jem and Will going to want me there if they've just come back from vacation?"

"Vacation," Magnus said mockingly, a teasing glint in his eyes. "They're not going to mind, darling, even if they have just come back from _vacation_."

Alec gave him a _Really, Magnus?_ sort of look. "Are you sure?"

"Perfectly. They actually expressed a wish to meet you."

Alec choked, loud enough that the librarian turned her stern gaze on them from where she stood filling away books at the end of the row.

"Why?"

Magnus shrugged. "Because you're my friend? Because, contrary to what people seem to think, I don't actually make that many close friends? Because they know you're an incredibly nice person with good morals?"

Alec stared at him. "I... What?"

Magnus smiled, and patted his arm. "I'll meet you by your locker after school. Don't argue."

"Alright. If you say so."

***

When Alec got to his locker, Magnus was already there, arms folded, scowling at someone across the hall with such intensity that Alec was surprised the object of his clear hatred didn't spontaneously burst into flames.

He looked across, and saw that Magnus' gaze was on a large group of students, most in their year, most of them the kind of people Sebastian hung out with. In fact—yes, Sebastian was there, right in the middle. And Camille.

"Magnus?" Alec looked at him worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Magnus' jaw tightened, his arms folded, knuckles white. "No."

"What happened?"

If Sebastian - or anyone else - had decided to revert back to the way they'd tried to treat Magnus when he'd first arrived in America, Alec was going to kill someone. Violently.

"She fucking happened."

Alec glanced over at the group again, trying to see if there was any 'she' there apart from Camille. Lydia Branwell was there, but she appeared to be having an argument with one of the boys, eyes flashing with irritation, waving her hands around. Alec liked Lydia, though he didn't know her very well. He doubted she'd be the object of such a look from Magnus.

Magnus turned around, tearing his eyes away from the group. "Doesn't matter. She doesn't deserve my energy."

"I thought you liked Camille?" Alec asked, somewhat hesitantly.

Magnus shot Camille a look nasty enough to have made an entire army weat at the knees. "Camille is a homophobic bitch."

Alec's eyebrows shot up. "I mean, yes, I could have told you that months ago, but what happened?"

"Oh, she was raving about the sanctity of marriage, and good American families, and safe and secure upbringings." Magnus' tone was sarcastically bright, and incredibly bitter. "Apparently, same-sex couples getting married is an abomination and is going to ruin the fucking world."

Alec shook his head. "Yeah, well. What do you expect from her?"

"Has she just lied to me for the last four months?" Magnus demanded, gesturing widely with his hands. "Spouting her crap about being supportive and standing up against Sebastian that day—was she just lying?"

Alec didn't look at Magnus as he stuffed his textbook back in his locker and then slammed it shut. "Yes."

"But why? I don't fucking get it."

"She found you attractive and fancied you being her next victim. Don't take it personally, she does it all the time."

Magnus sighed heavily. "I'm so stupid. Why do I always trust people?"

Alec smiled sympathetically. "Camille's manipulative. Falling for her games doesn't make you a bad judge of character."

"And you?" Magnus was smiling now, lips just tipping up at the corners, and Alec knew Magnus was about to tease him. "Are you a homophobic arse?"

"I doubt it. I came to terms with the fact that I'm gay a few years ago. I'm not the homophobic kind of closeted gay."

Alec had meant it to be joking in the way Magnus had been—wry and sarcastic and silly. But it felt heavy. It felt serious. Because Alec didn't think he'd ever said those words out loud before - I'm gay - and he'd just said them in the middle of a sentence, so casually, and it felt like he'd just tipped his own world upside down.

Magnus nudged him gently with his elbow. "It's okay."

Alec blinked down at him. "What?"

"You. This. Who you are. Not being out. It's okay."

"I know." _But I appreciate you saying it._ "Come on. Let's get out of here."

***

"Magnus," an unfamiliar voice shouted as soon as Magnus opened the door, Alec stepping through shyly behind him, "where did you put your passport?"

"It's in your room! I put it next to Jem's phone!" Magnus called back.

"What have I told you two about yelling?" said a milder voice from the top of the stairs. "Honestly."

The man at the top of the stairs caught sight of Alec, and smiled warmly. His entire demeanour was warm, Alec thought. His hair was dark, his features of a similar cast to Magnus', but his skin colour a little lighter. He looked taller than Magnus, Alec guessed, though it was probably not by much.

"This is Alec," Magnus said, gesturing with one hand while he kicked the front door shut with his foot. "And that's Jem."

"Hi, Alec," Jem said. "It's a little bit chaotic here, as I'm sure you can tell, but you're very welcome. I won't stand around and embarrass you both. Magnus can show you around."

"You already embarrassed them by being there!" someone - Will, presumably - hollered from upstairs, even louder than he had before.

Jem rolled his eyes. "You're making such a good impression, William."

A messy head of black hair leant over the banister, and Alec blinked in surprise at how similar the face grinning down at him was—same blue eyes, same pale skin, same tall stature. If he looked like Will in twenty years, he wouldn't have been at all surprised.

"I'm Will," he said, "seeing as Magnus didn't bother to introduce me. And I know we all sound the same to you, but I'm not English, I'm Welsh. And if you remember that we'll get on fine, because we've heard good things about you."

"Uh, right." Alec glanced across at Magnus. Will's accent was different to Jem and Magnus'. But then, Jem's sounded more stereotypically British than either of the others, and Magnus had said that he was born in Shanghai, so Alec wasn't quite sure what odd mix of accents he was encountering. "You're not English. You're Welsh."

Will beamed. "Excellent."

Jem shook his head. "What happened to not embarrassing them?"

"You said that, not me. I'm here to embarrass Magnus as much as possible. Baby photos, next." Will was grinning.

Magnus rolled his eyes. Alec laughed a little.

"You don't have any baby pictures of me. I don't think any baby pictures of me ever existed."

"Babies all look the same," Will said. "We like kids much better when they can talk."

"Oh, thanks so much," Magnus replied, voice dripping with sarcasm, a competitive glint in his eyes. "And here I was thinking you adopted me just out of the kindness of your hearts."

"Alright!" Jem looked at them both in find exasperation. "Will, you're meant to be unpacking, and Magnus, you're meant to be doing chemistry. Go away, both of you. Alec, would you like tea or coffee? We've got—"

"Every tea imaginable because Jem is more British than people who've never set foot outside of Britain in all their lives, or ordinary coffee," Magnus said.

Jem raised his eyebrows. Magnus stuck his tongue out.

"Coffee would be nice," Alec said, trying not to snicker. "Thank you."

"Milk? Sugar?"

"Just black."

"Alright. Now please, go and make sure Magnus actually does some work."

Alec's lips twitched up. Magnus huffed, grabbed his wrist, and began to haul him up the stairs. Jem and Will were both chuckling as Magnus pushed him into his bedroom.

"I hate you!" Magnus said to his parents.

"Love you too, kid!" Will shouted.

Alec was laughing as Magnus turned back to him, throwing his bag theatrically down on the bed and tearing it open, yanking out paper and books.

"So." Magnus dropped it all on the floor. "Now you've met my crazy family. Please help me with chemistry, because it makes no sense to me."

Alec sat down on the floor, cross-legged, and flicked open the textbook to the chapter they'd been looking at this morning. "I like your parents."

"Yeah." Magnus sighed. "Me too."

Alec looked up at him. "Sound a bit more depressed, why don't you."

"I'm sorry. Just...looking at that makes me want to jump out the window and break both my legs." He gestured towards the textbook.

Alec snickered. "It's not that bad, I promise. Once you understand this–" he pointed at the first page "–the rest is pretty straightforward."

Magnus sat down next to him. "Alright. If you're lying to me to make me feel better about this, I swear..."

"You'll hit me with the textbook?"

"Twice. Hard."

Alec hid his smile as he turned back to the book.


	12. You're Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia appears, Isabelle is definitely keeping secrets, and Magnus and Alec talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you don't know, a GSA is a gay-straight alliance (gay being used as an umbrella term for anyone in the LGBT+ community). You don't have to come out or announce your orientation/gender identity to join one.

**Prompt: In which your character joins a GSA**

 

*******

  
"Lydia!"

Alec caught Lydia Branwell's elbow, slowing to a jog and then a walk as he reached her. Lydia turned around, eyebrows raised. Alec dropped his hand, and shot her a sheepish smile. She had her hair swept up into a ponytail, escaped blonde strands tucked behind her ears, and, with that kind of expression on her face, Alec was a little bit scared of her.

"Hi. I, um, look, you—"

Lydia cut him off, holding up her hand. "Alec, I'm sure you're very nice, but if you're asking me out, then no. I'm sorry, I—"

"No no no!" He shook his head frantically. "No, I'm definitely not asking you on a date. I actually wanted to ask you—" He exhaled, glanced around in case Magnus (or his siblings) had decided to sneak up on him, and ducked his head down a little closer to Lydia's level. "You're still running the, um, GSA, right?"

Lydia frowned, and said sharply, "Yes. Why do you want to know?"

"I– When do you meet?"

Lydia stared at him, clearly taken aback. "Do you want to _join_?"

"Maybe not– I don't know. I wanted to try it out."

To his surprise, Lydia's expression softened, and she smiled at him. She looked...really quite pretty when she smiled, Alec thought. Not that Lydia was particularly to his taste (for obvious reasons) but he could appreciate that she was beautiful.

"New people are always welcome," she said. "We have a meeting on Friday, after school, in one of the music studios. Whichever one is free." She patted his arm. "I look forward to seeing you there."

She turned to walk away, but Alec had something else he needed to say, first.

"Wait—Lydia!"

She paused. "Yes?"

"Can I ask you a favour? Don't- Don't tell Magnus I'm coming."

"I...wasn't going to." She looked at him curiously. "But I'll make sure nobody else knows. He's going to be there, though. You know that, don't you?"

Alec nodded. "Yeah. I do. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Alec lifted a hand in awkward farewell, feeling Lydia's quizzical eyes on him all the way down the corridor.

Magnus had been in his case about _getting involved_ for months. Magnus had dived into extra-curricula activities, joining Izzy in the costume and fashion section of the drama department, going to some bizarre-sounding dance class, and running round the track with Jace and Alec and the rest of the running team an obscene amount. Magnus hadn't struck Alec as the kind of person who'd enjoy physical activity; apparently, he was wrong.

Magnus had also joined the school's GSA. He never really discussed the meetings with Alec in much depth, but he'd hinted—hinted that maybe Alec should consider it, hinted that Magnus wanted him to join, hinted that it would be good for him.

So Alec was going to surprise him. He wasn't going to make a grand entrance, and he definitely didn't expect Magnus to make a big deal out of it, but he'd turn up, and Magnus wouldn't have a clue what he was planning, and he'd get to see that surprised-confused-pleased expression on his face.

He just had to make sure Isabelle didn't manage to weasel the information out of him first. Because she was walking down the corridor towards him, expression set with determination, and clearly she'd just seen him talking to Lydia and wanted to know everything about why, when, what and how.

"Why were you talking to Lydia?" Isabelle demanded the moment she reached him, voice slightly lowered, her gaze urgent.

Alec frowned at her. "Never you mind. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Do you know where she was going?"

Alec stared. Since when did Isabelle not want to know absolutely everything about his life (and then some) and refuse to leave him alone until she had every single pointless detail? And why was she so interested in Lydia, anyway?

"How should I know?" he said at last. "Why do you care, anyway?"

"Doesn't matter." She shook her long black hair back from her face. "I think Simon has a boyfriend. Or a date. Or something."

It took Alec a few seconds to process her words, his head momentarily confused by the sudden subject change. And...what? A _boy_ friend? Simon was straight. Simon was so straight, all he seemed to be capable of doing around Isabelle, and any attractive female, was gape and stutter. (Not, admittedly, that Alec was so much better around attractive guys.)

"But Simon doesn't even like guys," he said.

Isabelle shrugged. "I didn't think so either. But maybe he's a little bit bi. Or experimenting. Why should I judge?" She fixed Alec with a stern look, tearing her eyes away from where she'd been scanning the corridor behind him for the entirety of their conversation. "You shouldn't judge, either."

Alec held his hands up. "I wasn't. I'm surprised. I don't care. It's none of my business. How do you know this, anyway?"

Isabelle smirked at him. "He's got a hickey. And he's been texting Raphael for about the last century."

"Raphael?" Alec frowned. "Who's Raphael?"

"Small, nerdy, kind of an arsehole," Magnus said, resting both hands on Alec's shoulders and peering over to look at Isabelle and join their conversation. Alec jumped out of skin at the sudden contact. Magnus grinned at him. "He made friends with Ragnor, for some reason. They're both grumpy. Maybe they exchange tips on how to never smile."

"Hello to you, too," Alec said, turning his head to look at Magnus. "I'm not a human prop."

"You're a human giant," Magnus muttered, letting go of Alec's shoulders and moving to stand by Isabelle. "Look, I'm wearing heels!" He waved a boot-clad foot around, which, indeed, had one of those awfully attractive chunky heels that he seemed to wear all the damn time. "And I'm still so much shorter than you. It's not fair."

Isabelle grinned. "Everyone looks small next to my brother."

"Don't I know it." Magnus shook his head. "I just came to say hello. I have to go and do a biology lab now."

"Have fun," Alec said, smiling at the glum look on Magnus' face.

"Alexander, I would rather sit that impossible chemistry test again than do this lab."

As Magnus waved and walked off, Isabelle was watching Alec with an odd expression on her face. Alec looked down at her and quirked an eyebrow.

"Nothing," she said innocently. "Just thinking."

Why did that make Alec so nervous?

***

Lydia smiled at him when he walked into the GSA meeting on Friday. He was early, because he hated entering a room and having everybody stare at him for it. Magnus, as he'd predicted, wasn't there yet, but two other girls and a boy (Raj, possibly?) were already seated.

The two girls introduced themselves as Lily and Maia. Lily had shaved half her head and dyed the rest of her hair blue and blonde, and had more piercings and more rips in her jeans than Magnus. Maia, beside her, looked like almost her exact opposite, in a flowery skirt, cardigan, her hair braided neatly.

"Are you two dating?" possibly-Raj asked, gesturing to Lily and Maia.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm a lesbian, Raj."

"And...she's a girl?" Raj looked very confused.

"She's a _straight_ girl," Lily said. "Do you not know how this works? She's my best friend."

"Okay." Raj leant back a little as another girl and boy walked in, the boy leaning down to whisper something to Lydia. Lydia nodded. "But, like, don't lesbians have a thing for straight girls?"

Lily looked over at Alec as though he would say something to help her. Alec didn't know why. He'd never spoken to Lily before. She and Maia were in Isabelle's year, he knew that much, and Lily didn't strike him as a particularly warm and fuzzy sort of person, considering the way she was verbally biting Raj's head off.

"She's straight," Lily emphasised. " _Straight_. As in, attracted to _males_. I am a _female_."

Raj shrugged. "Does that always matter in a hook-up? I mean, some straight guys are pretty good at—"

"You asked if they were dating," Alec couldn't help but point out. "Not if they'd hooked up."

Raj, Lily and Maia all turned to look at him. He flushed a little. God, could Magnus get here, already? He felt so uncomfortable with all these people he didn't really know.

"Exactly," Lily said, pointing a black-painted nail at Alec.

"So have you hooked up?" Raj asked.

Alec rolled his eyes. So did Lily. Maia was smirking.

"No," Maia said, "because I don't like girls, and I'm not curious about girls, and I'm not a horny drunk."

"But couldn't you still have—"

"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ," Lily snapped. "Did you not listen to what she just said?"

The door opened. Colour and glitter and shimmering boots caught Alec's eye, and he snapped his head up to look at Magnus, who was watching Lily and Raj with amusement.

"Are you two arguing already?" he asked, striding into the room and letting the door swing shut behind him. "You can't have been in here more than ten minutes."

"He's asking stupid questions," Lily said. "Why would I hook up with a straight girl? Especially when she's my best friend. That's just stupid."

"Stupider things have happened, my dear," Magnus said. "Like—" He stopped. He cut himself off, his entire body stilling, eyes fixed on Alec, eyes widening a little.

"Like?" Lily promoted him. "Like, perhaps, your boyfriend turning up to this meeting and making you speechless?"

"Isn't that, like, exactly the opposite of stupid?" Maia asked. "I mean, when does Magnus ever shut up?"

"He's not my boyfriend," Magnus said, unfreezing, turning to shoot Lily a glare over his shoulder.

"Sure." Lily's voice dripped with sarcasm. "And Lydia doesn't have a crush on the other one."

Alec finally tore his eyes away from Magnus, and turned to stare at Lily, mystified. Lydia, crushing? He couldn't imagine it. She was so together and cool and professional. She seemed far too aloof for things like crushes.

"Who's the other one?" Raj asked. Alec was wondering the same thing, but he didn't like to ask.

Lily fixed him with the kind of glare that made Alec think of sci-fi films, wherein a character scowled and shot lasers out of their eyes. (Clearly, he'd been spending too much time with Simon.)

"Your intellect never fails to astonish us, Raj," Magnus said, his voice holding a little more bite and a lot less teasing, amused warmth than Alec expected. He looked back to Magnus in surprise.

"Alright!" Lydia clapped her hands. "Enough. I can hear you. Magnus, sit down."

Magnus sunk down in the seat beside Alec. Magnus shot him the tiniest little smile, but his eyes were alight and shining. Magnus carried himself just a little differently here, Alec thought. He always looked confident and bold and beautiful, but here, he seemed a little less defensive. He seemed less like he was just daring someone to make a comment. He seemed like he'd let a few walls down.

It made Alec want to kiss him. So, so badly. He wanted to lean across, in front of the entire damn room, grab that flimsy shirt in his hands, and kiss him.

"I didn't know you were coming," Magnus murmured, once Lydia had started talking about something Stonewall was doing.

"That was deliberate," Alec replied.

"You're sneaky, you Lightwoods," Magnus said, lips quirking up. "I'm glad you're here."

"Yeah." Alec smiled a little. "Yeah, me too."

***

When the meeting finished, Alec wasn't entirely sure what they'd been talking about. He'd been too preoccupied by Magnus, and he kept sneaking glances across at him. And then he'd looked across, and found Magnus already looking at him. His heart had pounded, and his cheeks had flushed bright red, and he'd been very aware of how close together they were sitting.

Magnus didn't say a word as they walked out of the room together, but he smiled when Alec propped the door open for him. He grabbed Alec's hand when they got outside, and tugged him round to the side of the school to the grassy area where Alec ate lunch, sometimes, in the warm weather. It was deserted.

"I can't believe you came," Magnus said, smiling so brightly it almost hurt to look at him.

Alec shrugged. "You wanted me to come." He paused when Magnus' expression clouded over with surprise, and then his lips tugged up impossibly further. "Besides, like you always say, I'm gay, these issues affect me, so shouldn't I try to do something about them?"

Magnus huffed out a laugh, and reached up to brush his fingers along Alec's jaw. "You never cease to amaze me, Alec."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, skin tingling where Magnus' fingers lingered.

"It means you're so much better than you give yourself credit for." Magnus' eyes were soft, but intense, and Alec hoped Magnus didn't ask him a question, because he could barely breathe, let alone function enough to form a coherent answer.

Magnus' fingers trailed down towards his chin; his thumb brushed the corner of Alec's mouth, and then he pulled his hand away. Alec caught Magnus' wrist, and encircled it gently with his index finger and thumb, his fingers fitting easily all the way around. He let Magnus' hand slide through his grip, until he could twine their fingers together.

Alec's heart was thudding hard against his ribs as he tore his gaze away from their joined hands, and chanced a glance up at Magnus. Magnus' pupils had dilated, his lower lips caught between his teeth, watching Alec's every move like a hawk.

"You've got—" Magnus reached up his free hand and picked something out of Alec's hair. He flicked it away, and ran his fingers through the hair by Alec's temple as though to fix it back into place. His hand dropped, down to Alec's neck, and goosebumps rose across Alec's skin.

Magnus stopped, stilling, his chest rising and falling quickly as he looked up at Alec with those soft brown eyes of his. Alec thought he could probably find every star in the sky in those eyes.

"Alec," Magnus whispered, and then his grip on the side of Alec's neck, barely there before, became firm, and he lifted himself right up onto his toes, and crashed his lips to Alec's.

Alec inhaled sharply through his nose, tightening his hold on Magnus' hand, his free arm rising up to wrap around Magnus' waist and pull him closer. He dipped his head to kiss Magnus easier, his fingers finding the strip of skin under Magnus' shirt where his spine curved, above the waistline of his pants.

Magnus' hand slid to his hair, tugging Alec's head down a little further. He flicked his tongue along Alec's bottom lip and licked into his mouth. A tiny little moan of appreciation caught in the back of Alec's throat at the sensation.

Alec's mind clouded over, every thought leaving his mind except that this was Magnus, Magnus Bane, beautiful, hilarious, kind, _fabulous_ Magnus, kissing the very breath out of his body. This was Magnus kissing him so hard his lips tingled. This was Magnus' hand tightening in his hair when Alec caught his bottom lip between his teeth and tugged experimentally, Magnus' heart pounding so hard he could feel it against his chest, Magnus' breath washing across his lips every time they parted even slightly.

He lost himself in the feelings being elicited within him. God, he never wanted to move. He didn't care about breathing. He didn't care that his neck was going to ache from bending at his angle if he didn't stop. He didn't care that though the area was secluded, it wasn't private, and anyone could walk around the corner, glance past the trees and see them. He didn't give a damn. He just never wanted the feeling of Magnus' lips against his to end.

Finally, finally, Magnus pulled back. He pressed his lips to the corner of Alec's mouth, and stretched up further to kiss his cheek, and then lowered himself down to the floor. Alec held him close, unwilling to let go. They were still holding hands, and Alec wondered what good deed he'd done for his first kiss, ever, to be from Magnus Bane.

"God, you're beautiful," Magnus whispered.

Alec smiled. "So are you. You're so beautiful, Magnus."

Magnus' eyes shone - literally shone, tears glimmering in the soft evening light but not spilling over - and Alec thought his cheeks flushed, but he didn't have long to look, because Magnus was reaching up, using his shoulder for leverage, and pressing sweet little kisses all along his jaw and cheeks and nose. Alec laughed, the feeling of Magnus' eyelashes against his face tickling a little, and laughed harder when they bumped noses.

"You're incredible," Alec said, squeezing Magnus' waist in emphasis.

Magnus exhaled, closing his eyes, a beautiful smile painted across his face. Alec wanted to capture this moment, this feeling, in his mind forever. He didn't ever want to forget it. He didn't want to forget the way Magnus' cheeks were a little redder than usual, or the way his skin seemed to glow, or that peaceful, contented expression he wore.

With a quiet little hum, Magnus leant further into Alec's arms and rested his head on Alec's shoulder, soft hair brushing Alec's cheek. Alec turned to press his lips to Magnus' temple.

"I wasn't sure," Alec murmured, after what could have been hours of standing there, wrapped in each other's arms in silence.

Magnus shifted his head back to look at him. "About what?"

"This. I wasn't sure whether you...liked me."

There had been clues. There had been clues for a long time. But when Magnus had kissed his cheek in Applebee's—that had been when Alec had really considered that perhaps Magnus felt about him as he did about Magnus. But still, he wasn't sure whether he'd been seeing the signs because he wanted them to be there, rather than because they really were.

"Neither was I," Magnus admitted. "Not about liking you," he added upon seeing Alec attempt to conceal his expression of hurt. "About whether or not you liked me. But then, just now, that feeling..."

"I know." It had been intense, all-consuming, making Alec's heart race—and all before their lips had even touched. "I do like you."

Magnus smiled. "Good."

Alec laughed ruefully. "Listen to us. We sound like we're twelve."

"Mmm. But I don't care." He nosed at the hollow behind Alec's jaw, and placed a soft kiss there that had shivers running up and down Alec's spine.

"I don't want to go home," Alec said. It sounded pathetic, even to his own ears, but it was true. He just wanted to stay, wrapped up with Magnus, forever. He loved his siblings, but his parents were home, and their insistent judging, about absolutely everything, was exhausting. There was no judging with Magnus. He could be himself, and be secure in who that person was without feeling scared or like a disappointment.

Magnus squeezed his hand. Their hands had come up between them at some point, resting against their stomachs. Magnus didn't say a word; he just acknowledged that Alec had spoken, and offered his support silently, and that was all they needed.

"I have to go," Alec said, full of regret. "My parents don't know where I am, anyway. Not like they'll be home to care, but if for some reason they're home early—"

"Shh." Magnus lifted a finger to his lips. "It's alright. I understand."

Alec smiled as Magnus removed his hand from in front of Alec's face, and dipped his head to press one last sweet kiss to Magnus' lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Magnus whispered, pulling back slowly.

"Yeah." With considerable effort, Alec dropped his arm from around Magnus' waist. "Tomorrow."

Magnus gripped his hand tight for a moment, and then let go. Alec felt oddly cold without his touch.

"Hey, Alec?"

"Yeah?"

"Listen, if you ever need to get away, if it ever becomes too much and you need to go somewhere other than home for a bit, you're always welcome. Even if I'm not there, Will and Jem love you more than they love me, and they've only met you three times. Okay?"

Alec nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thank you, Magnus."

Magnus winked at him. "For you, Alexander, anytime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY KISSED!! I'm surprisingly pleased with how this one turned out. As always, any feedback, good or bad, is much appreciated :)


	13. Walls Around His Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec realises that Magnus isn't quite as self-confident as he appears. Ragnor and Cat make an appearance. Simon and Alec have some unexpected bro time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart goes out to the victims of the Orlando shootings, and their families and friends. This was the worst mass shooting in US history, and it was an attack on a gay club. This was a hate crime. It's incredibly sad to think that this time last year we were celebrating the legalisation of same-sex marriage in the States.
> 
> Perhaps this will be the kick the American people need to realise that yes, guns DO kill people. A ban on automatic or semi-automatic weapons doesn't prevent farmers keeping a shotgun to defend themselves in the middle of the countryside, miles from the nearest police station.
> 
> Stay strong <3

 

 

**_In memory of those who lost their lives in the Orlando slaughter._ **

 

**_***_ **

 

**Prompt: in which your character comes out to a deaf person**

 

*******

 

Magnus was late to school, the morning after he'd kissed Alec. Alec glanced up as he dashed into chemistry, looking frazzled and stressed and worried, and felt worry shoot through him. Magnus was always so put-together.

"Are you okay?" Alec murmured to him.

Magnus shot him a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I'm fine."

They barely spoke for the rest of the lesson. Alec glanced over at Magnus every two minutes, but Magnus was apparently engrossed in his work, and didn't look back. Was Magnus regretting what had happened last night? Was that why he was barely talking to Alec? Was that why the awkwardness between them was almost tangible?

When the bell rang, Magnus swept his things off the table, ignored Alec when he tried to talk to him, and booked it out of the classroom before Alec could reach out and grab his arm to get his attention. Alec gaped at him. What the hell?

Magnus wasn't in the canteen at lunch. Neither was Isabelle. Jace and Clary ate at the speed of light and then disappeared, sending each other revolting looks. (Alec thought he preferred it when Clary had still been rejecting Jace, because at least then they weren't so nauseating.) So it was just Alec and Simon eating together, which was impossibly uncomfortable.

Simon cleared him throat. Twice. Alec looked up at him in irritation.

"Hey, um, Alec, man—"

"What?" Alec snapped.

"I don't want to get involved in—"

"Oh my god, Simon." Alec set his fork down. "Spit it out. I've known you for years. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly like you, but I don't hate you."

Simon coughed. "Right. Look, is- is Magnus okay?"

Alec sighed heavily, and closed his eyes. "I don't know. Why?"

"I saw him earlier. Talking to Ragnor Fell. He looked...upset."

Alec swallowed, heart clenching at the thought of Magnus being upset—and of him being at least part of the cause. Because it had to be something about yesterday, right? It was too much of a coincidence. Magnus had kissed him, and now he wasn't talking to him. Alec didn't understand. Everything they'd said to each other, that feeling that had sprung between them, everything Magnus had confessed... How could he think it a mistake if all that was true?

Unless he thought Alec would regret it. But Alec had been perfectly honest, too. He'd told Magnus, in no uncertain terms, that he liked him. Why on earth would Magnus think Alec hadn't meant it?

"Why does everything have to be so difficult?" Alec groaned, setting his head in his hands.

"Well, seeing as I have no idea what happened, or what you're on about, I'd say because the world sucks?"

Alec glared at him. "That's really not helpful."

"How am I supposed to be helpful?" Simon asked. "I don't know what happened."

Alec huffed. "Look, whatever you do, don't tell my sister, okay? In fact, don't tell anyone, at all, ever, or I'll shoot you at archery practise instead of the target."

"Woah." Simon held his hands up, palms forwards. "Dude, chill. Okay. I'll take your homoerotic secrets to my grave."

Alec threw his hands up in frustration. "Can you _not_?"

"If you're trying to tell me you're not gay, then I'm sorry, but the way you look at Magnus—"

"Alright! Yes! I'm gay," he hissed, low enough for only Simon to hear. "But the people who know that are limited, so keep your mouth shut."

Simon shook his head. "More people know than you think."

"Okay, you know what? This was a stupid idea." He made to stand up. "Go drool over whoever you're dating or something."

Simon rolled his eyes. "You don't have to be such an asshole all the time. You know that? Sometimes people are just trying to help you. Sit down."

Alec blinked in surprise. When had Simon grown a pair? But he did as Simon had said, and sat back down, almost robotically, and quirked an eyebrow at him. Simon made a _go on, then_ gesture with his hands; Alec took it as his cue to speak.

"I kissed Magnus," he blurted out, eyes fixed on the table. "Last night. Or he kissed me. It doesn't matter. We kissed. We talked." He chanced a glance up at Simon, who was nodding, looking thoughtful. And completely non-judgemental. Maybe Simon wasn't so bad. "And then this morning, he came into school late looking stressed as hell, barely spoke to me all lesson, ignored me when I tried to talk to him, and ran out of the classroom before I could get his attention."

Simon appeared to be chewing on the inside of his cheek as he looked at Alec contemplatively. "This is a revolutionary idea," he said eventually, "but you could, you know, hunt him down and talk to him about it."

"I tried! I tried to talk to him after class! He ran out!"

"Then talk to someone who knows him. Ask for their advice. I don't exactly know Magnus very well, but maybe someone who knows him better will know what's going on."

Alec thought for a moment. Who was Magnus really close to? Will and Jem, of course, but he couldn't exactly go to Magnus' house and ask for relationship advice from his parents, even if they were very nice. Who else?

There was Ragnor Fell, and his sister. Alec had spoken to Ragnor several times, and he'd met Catarina once. She hadn't said very much. He knew Magnus had been friends with them for years, though. Maybe they'd know. Or maybe they'd be able to give him some advice, at least. Because sure, he'd known Magnus for a few months, but in the grand scheme of things, that was nothing.

For perhaps the first time, Alec smiled at Simon. "Maybe I do understand why Clary calls you her best friend," he said.

Simon looked surprised, but not displeased. "Um, you're welcome?"

Alec cocked his head to one side, scrutinising Simon. "Can I ask you something?"

"I suppose so." Simon looked nervous. "If you're threatening me about hurting Isabelle, then—"

"No, no. Not that. I'm just curious. Are you dating Raphael Santiago?"

Simon choked, and went off into a worryingly long coughing fit. Alec raised his eyebrows. When Simon had recovered, he was red in the face.

"It's complicated," Simon said. "I mean, I—" He sighed. "I guess. I don't know. It's not official."

Alec shrugged. "Okay."

***

Alec had managed to find Ragnor in the school corridors. Ragnor had looked both wary and sympathetic when Alec had asked (stuttering and red in the face) if they could talk. Ragnor had told him that he'd be in Taki's after school.

When Alec pushed open the door to the café, his thoughts were on Magnus. He'd seen Magnus across the hallway, at his locker, and (much as he hated to admit it) Simon had been right. He'd looked upset. His eye make-up looked like he'd fixed it roughly in the bathrooms. It had made Alec's stomach twist with guilt, even if he didn't understand what he'd done wrong.

Ragnor was sat in a booth in the corner, his sister across from him. When Alec approached their table, Catarina smiled warmly, and Ragnor watched him with an impassive expression on his face. Alec's palms were sweaty, his heart beating quickly.

"Sit," Ragnor said. "And talk."

Catarina shot him a disapproving look, but Ragnor didn't pay her any attention, his gaze fixed on Alec. Ragnor was an unnerving person, because it was really very difficult to tell what he was thinking. He never let anything show on his face.

"I assume you're here about Magnus, and last night?" Ragnor asked him, more gently than Alec expected.

Alec nodded.

"Tell us what happened. From your perspective."

So Alec did. He told them, blushing and cringing all the way through, about his closeted status due to his parents (mostly), about the GSA, about talking to Magnus afterwards, about his feelings for Magnus leading up to that point, and about the culmination of the moment—the kiss. And then he told them about today, and Magnus ignoring him, and how confused he was.

Catarina was smiling sadly when Alec finished, and even Ragnor looked less stony. Catarina looked over at Ragnor and made a gesture with her hands. It took Alec a moment to realise that it was sign language. Well, that explained why she was so quiet. Was she deaf? Or mute? If she was deaf, had she understood a word Alec had just said? But she must have, with that expression on her face.

Ragnor signed something back to her, and then looked back to Alec.

"You have to understand," Ragnor said, "that Magnus has so many walls, so many layers around his heart, that if you only scratch the surface of who he is, you really don't know him at all."

Alec nodded. "I know."

"There are things Magnus hasn't told you yet. Important things." Ragnor shook his head, sighing. "He's making it far more difficult for himself than he needs to. But you have to be patient. And you have to be serious."

"About what? About my feelings for him?"

Catarina nodded, and began signing quickly. For a moment, Alec panicked, because he had no idea what any of it meant, but Ragnor was watching her carefully, and began to translate.

"My sister says that Magnus isn't invulnerable, and that he's a lot more insecure than he appears. He's not interested in something that doesn't have at least the potential to go somewhere. He's difficult, sometimes, but he has a huge heart, and it's been broken too many times already. He's wary of it being broken again." Ragnor nodded as Catarina ceased signing. "Yeah. That's about right."

Catarina rolled her eyes. Alec smiled tentatively at her.

"What do I do?" Alec asked. "I am serious. I know I'm only seventeen, but I- I've never felt like this about anyone. And I've thought I liked people before. And I'm not exactly an easy person, either."

"Magnus isn't uncertain about what he told you last night," Ragnor said. "He's uncertain about himself. He's uncertain about how you'll react when you know everything." Ragnor watched Alec carefully. "But I'm not. I think you're better than that. So find him, and talk to him. Make him talk to you. Tell him that you're serious. That's all he needs. He just needs you know you're not going to run, and that you think he's worth it."

Catarina signed something at him.

Ragnor laughed. "Really?"

Catarina nodded, smiling. "I like you, Alec Lightwood," she said.

Alec blinked at her in surprise. Catarina had the sort of voice and demeanour that made him think of a kindly, but no-nonsense nurse. "Thank you?"

"Go away, and find Magnus," Ragnor said.

Alec didn't need to be told twice.

***

Alec felt incredibly nervous as he knocked on Magnus' front door. He didn't know whether Will and Jem were home, and he didn't know whether they knew what had happened last night, and he didn't really even know if Magnus was home, because he'd ignored Alec's text.

The door opened no more than a minute after Alec had knocked. Magnus stood on the other side, no make-up on, looking tired, dressed in stylish black jeans and a sweater that looked...less stylish. He looked like he'd been halfway through changing into comfy, lounging-around clothes when Alec had knocked.

"Alec."

Alec swallowed. "Hi. Magnus... Look, can we- please can we talk?"

Magnus looked at him for a moment, expression smoothed over and entirely neutral, before his shoulder slumped a little, and he nodded. "Yeah. Come in."

After declining Magnus' offer of a drink, Alec followed him upstairs to his bedroom, and sat opposite him on the bed, cross-legged. Magnus picked at one of the rips in his jeans with his index finger. Alec noticed that the nail varnish on his finger was slightly chipped.

"I'm sorry," Magnus blurted out, before Alec could think of what to say first. "Just— I'm sorry. You don't deserve this."

"I don't understand," Alec said, honestly. "What happened?"

"It's not your fault." Magnus exhaled, lifting his eyes to look at Alec. "You're incredible, Alexander. I just overthink things. Especially things like this."

For a moment, Alec was quiet. He decided to be honest, and said, "I spoke to Ragnor and Catarina earlier." Magnus winced. "I'm sorry, I just didn't know what else to do. You weren't talking to me."

Magnus shook his head. "I'm not upset that you spoke to my friends, I promise. I'd probably have done the same."

"Magnus—" He reached out to touch one of Magnus' hands, reassured when Magnus flipped his hand over and grasped Alec's fingers. "Whatever it is you're worried about, whatever it is you're scared of telling me, it's okay."

"You don't know what it is."

"No, maybe not. But I think you're the most amazing person I've ever met, and I can't think of much that would make me think any differently."

Magnus broke out into a careful little smile. "Maybe I should stop worrying so much." A little bit of the bright mischief that Alec was used to seeing in his eyes returned. "Would you like to get coffee?"

"Are you asking me out?" Alec asked.

"No, Alexander, I just go round asking people out for an entirely platonic coffee after I've kissed them. Yes, I'm asking you out."

"I suppose you could convince me to clear my schedule, then."

Magnus grinned in clear satisfaction, and kissed his cheek. "Excellent. Do you want to stay for dinner? Will said he'd pick up Indian on his way home. I can text him and ask him to pick up one extra."

"Alright. Yeah, I'd like that."

Magnus kissed his other cheek. "Perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about this one. Oh well. Next chapter: Lydia!


	14. Walmart, Girls, and Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec comes out to the cashier at Walmart, Lydia talks to 'the other one', Magnus isn't in a good mood, and Alec makes it better.

**Prompt: in which your character comes out to the cashier at Walmart**

 

*******

 

It was a Saturday. Alec generally felt fairly favourable about Saturdays, and, in the three weeks since he and Magnus had kissed, Saturday afternoons had become a time they'd spend with just each other, doing whatever they fancied, just enjoying each other's company. Unfortunately, Magnus was apparently sick, and so, when Alec had complained to Isabelle about being bored, she'd snickered, and Maryse had sent them out grocery shopping.

He didn't mind grocery shopping. He disliked shopping for clothes, or trinkets, or whatever other crap people shopped for recreationally, but grocery shopping was easy, had a clear and necessary purpose, and didn't take long.

Except with Isabelle. Isabelle wanted to stop and examine everything, and compare fifty types of brown bread that were essentially the same, and she kept adding things to their cart that were most definitely not on Maryse's list.

They'd been out for nearly an hour. Alec was ready to slam his head against the wall.

"Isabelle, I love you, but we have everything we need. Can we please check out now?"

She huffed. "Fine. You're so boring."

"You're so annoying," he replied. "Come on."

He began to push the (far heavier than necessary) cart down the aisle towards the check out tills. Considering it was a Saturday afternoon, it was relatively empty, and they only had to wait a few minutes in the queue.

Just as Alec began loading items onto the belt, Isabelle stilled beside him, eyes fixed on something across the store. He glanced over at her, and followed her gaze. She was looking towards a gaggle of people, but he had no idea why they were so interesting. He didn't recognise any of them.

"Alec, can I see you outside?" she said, gripping his forearm but not looking at him.

"I suppose so." He frowned a little. "Izzy, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'll see you in a bit." She reached up and kissed his cheek lightly, before strutting off quickly across to the other side of the shop.

The cashier cleared her throat. Alec turned, and flushed a little when he realised that he was at the front of the queue. The cashier was young - not any older than him, he guessed - and very, very blonde.

"I'm sorry," he apologised, beginning to bag his items as quickly as he could.

"Don't worry about it," she said, smiling at him. "Your girlfriend?"

"Ah, no. My sister."

"She seems sweet. No girl waiting for you back home?" She winked at him, but he could see the genuine curiosity in her eyes.

Alec cringed internally. "No."

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows, smiling wider, showing a flash of white teeth. "How does a guy like you not have a girlfriend?"

Alec finished packing the final items into the bags, and flashed her a bashful smile. "I'm gay," he said. "I've got a boyfriend."

Her smile went from flirtatious to something kinder than that, but it didn't disappear. "Well, I'm sure he's a very lucky guy."

Alec laughed as he stuck his credit card into the machine. "I think I'm the lucky one."

***

Isabelle caught Lydia's elbow just as she was walking out of the store. Lydia was on her own, as she so often was. Isabelle knew she had friends. But Lydia seemed to favour time alone more than anything else. Perhaps, Isabelle couldn't help but think, that was because she had so many walls surrounding her, nobody really knew who she was.

Isabelle was determined to find out.

"Lydia," she said, breathlessly.

Lydia turned, and her eyes widened when she took in Isabelle, clearly surprised. "Isabelle." She sounded so perfectly put-together, so calm, so utterly collected. It made Isabelle want to slap her.

Well. It had used to make Isabelle want to slap her. (Maybe she still did, a little bit.) But now she was keener to muss up her always-professional hair and kiss her until her lips were swollen and her cheeks were flushed red. She wanted to make Lydia look less damn perfect all the time.

"Is there something I can do for you?" Lydia asked, raising her stupid perfect eyebrows.

Isabelle had noticed Lydia in the school canteen weeks ago. She'd been bored, because it seemed that Simon had found himself something, or someone, (someone called Raphael) to occupy his time, so she'd had nobody to tease and flirt with. She'd scanned across the people, and her eyes had caught on Lydia.

At first, it had been a kind of high-school infatuation. Lydia was beautiful. Isabelle had been beginning to realise that she had a certain...appreciation for women that she had a feeling she might not have understood, if it hadn't been for Alec. Not because she didn't understand sexuality, but because it had always seemed like something that happened to other people. Something that other people had to struggle with. Not something that she - or anyone close to her - would have to battle the consequences of.

So she'd spoken to Lydia, one day, in the queue at lunch, when Lydia had happened to come up behind her. And she'd realised just how many walls and barriers Lydia had around her heart. Isabelle loved a challenge. She'd made it her mission to tear some of those walls down.

She'd made Lydia laugh the day they finished up for Christmas break. It had been stupid, what she was saying. Lydia had been coming out of some terribly important looking meeting. Isabelle had been waiting for the rest of the drama team to turn up. She couldn't remember what she'd said, but the surprise on Lydia's face, the utterly honest, uninhibited laughter...

It was more than high-school infatuation.

It had become something of a game between them. Isabelle would flirt, and Lydia would act like she was oblivious (though Isabelle knew that was a lie) and Isabelle would try to make Lydia's armour crack.

She'd texted Lydia on New Year's. Texted her a simple, _Happy New Year, Lydia_. And Lydia had replied, almost instantly. _Happy New Year, Isabelle Lightwood_.

Alec had asked why she was smiling so much. She'd responded with a low blow about Magnus that had made Alec flush unhappily and mooch around with his shoulders hunched for the rest of the night. She'd felt bad about that, but honestly, was her brother blind? He and Magnus were practically dating already. They were practically dating even more than Dean Winchester and Castiel were practically dating.

It had been fun. Exciting. Until Lydia had begun to ignore her, and avoid her. Which was why Isabelle had chased after her today, abandoning Alec in the middle of Walmart.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Isabelle asked, not letting go of Lydia's forearm.

Lydia acted like she was completely unaffected by Isabelle's grip. But her pupils had dilated, even though she kept her eyes fixed on Isabelle's. They didn't flicker any further down once.

"I haven't. I'm not even in your grade, Isabelle, and our school is hardly small."

Isabelle tipped her chin up. "Don't lie to me."

Lydia's perfect façade didn't slip. "I never lie to you."

"You always lie to me. You lie to everyone. Everything about you is a lie."

"That depends on whether you consider avoiding the truth to be lying."

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "I didn't think I could meet anyone as infuriating and stoic as my brother, but you might be worse."

"Isabelle." Lydia's voice was gentler, suddenly, and Isabelle glanced down as cool fingers covered her own. "You know I care about you. But I can't."

"Why not?" Isabelle demanded. At least Lydia wasn't pretending to be ignorant to Isabelle's feelings. At least they were on the same page. "Give me one good reason."

"Because you deserve more. You deserve to be happy."

Isabelle yanked her hand away from Lydia's, furious. "That's the biggest load of horse shit I've ever heard. That's such crap. That's not even a real answer! Why the hell do you think I wouldn't be perfectly happy dating you?"

"Shh!" Lydia looked alarmed. "Be careful."

"What for?" Isabelle snapped. "There's nobody here."

It was true. They were just round the corner of the store, and it was the back door. Most people went through the large, automatic double doors at the front.

"The world isn't always safe." Lydia looked at her sadly. "I know that better than anyone."

"What happened to you?" Isabelle whispered.

"I've just seen what the world does to people who aren't what's expected of them." She lowered her eyes. "My parents. Your brother. Magnus Bane. Lily Cheng. Us. We don't fit. We aren't what people tell us we should be. And that's dangerous."

"No," Isabelle said, "it's not."

Lydia looked incredibly sad, her smile ruined and broken by the weight of memories Isabelle could only guess at. "It shouldn't be," Lydia agreed. "But the world is what it is."

"We can change the world. The world can evolve. People's attitudes can change. Besides, this is New York, not- not Texas or Uganda or—"

"Isabelle—"

"What are you so scared of?" Isabelle asked, unashamed of the tears that welled in her eyes and spilled suddenly down her cheeks.

"People," Lydia said. "I'm scared of what people can do to each other."

"Is that your convoluted way of saying you're scared of loving someone?" Isabelle asked, lifting her hand to wipe at her cheeks.

"No." Lydia stepped closer, and, after glancing behind her, she cupped Isabelle's face in her hands, her touch tender. "Well. Yes. But that's not what I meant. I'm a control freak, Iz." Isabelle laughed a little at that. Because if she didn't laugh, she thought she'd probably sob. Lydia smiled ruefully. "I hate not being able to control everything. My heart. Being hurt. My actions. Other people's action. Love, loving someone... It's completely uncontrollable. After everything I've seen, I'm scared of that."

"So you're going to live your life lonely?" Isabelle shook her head. "You're only seventeen."

"I don't know." Lydia's thumb brushed her cheek. "I don't know."

To Isabelle's shock, Lydia leant in and pressed her lips to Isabelle's forehead, just below her hairline. Her lips lingered for a moment, and Isabelle stilled all over, heart thudding in her chest.

Lydia pulled back, dropping her hands. "Goodbye, Isabelle."

Isabelle watched her go, frozen in shock, tears sliding down her cheeks.

***

"Hey," Alec said into his phone when Magnus picked up.

"Don't make me talk," Magnus moaned, voice rough. "Everything hurts."

Alec felt bad. "I'm sorry. I'll go, you can—"

"No, I wasn't serious. Well, everything does hurt, but I'm so bored, Alexander, please, please tell me something interesting. Anything. Tell me Adam Lambert dropped a new album. Or that he's going on tour. Or he's performing with Queen again. Or—"

Alec laughed. "I don't think any of that's going on at the moment. Sorry. Shouldn't you have been sleeping or watching bad daytime TV or something?"

"I slept as long as it's humanely possible to sleep. I didn't get up until four o'clock. And I slept most of yesterday, too."

It was only half past six, now. Alec grinned to himself. Magnus really had the world's shortest attention span, sometimes.

"Mom sent me out grocery shopping," Alec told him.

"You're wonderful, darling, but if the most exciting thing you've done all day is grocery shopping, read me a chapter of Harry Potter instead."

Alec choked a little. "I'm not reading to you. That's weird. But more importantly, there is something going on with Isabelle."

"Yes, there is," Magnus agreed. "What happened?"

"We were at the check-out, and she suddenly said she had to go. She was staring at some group of random people. She met me by the car, and she looked really upset, but when I asked, she wouldn't tell me anything."

Magnus made a thoughtful humming noise. He sniffled inelegantly, then said, "That sounds like relationship trouble. Or friendship trouble. People trouble."

"It does. But normally she rants about it. Loudly. And excessively. In far more detail than I need."

"You're worried about her."

"Yeah." Alec sighed. "But it's not like I'm going to make her tell me. I just don't like seeing her so upset."

"You're her big brother. Of course you don't. But she'll be okay. Isabelle's strong."

Alec smiled. "She is." He paused for a moment, then said softly, "I missed you today."

"I missed you too, darling."

They were quiet for a moment, Magnus' breathing somewhat laboured on the other end of the phone. Alec wanted to be with him. He wanted to be able to hug him and kiss him and see him smile that beautiful Magnus smile.

It was ridiculous, really. They'd been dating three weeks; Alec was absolutely smitten. He couldn't spend enough time with Magnus, and, when they were together, they couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Not that they'd done much more than kiss, but god, it was so easy to get lost in Magnus' kisses.

"I could come over, tomorrow," Alec offered quietly, breaking the silence. "If you'd like."

"I might not be very good company. And I don't want you to get sick, sweetheart. I'm fairly sure I'm contagious."

Alec's heart melted a little bit at that. "I won't get sick. Obviously, if you feel too bad, I won't, I'll leave you alone to sleep, but—"

"Alec." Alec could hear the smile in Magnus' voice. "I'd love you to come over tomorrow. But all I've done today is sleep, throw up and watch Netflix. Just to warn you. I'm not at my most attractive."

"I don't care," Alec assured him. "You're always attractive."

Magnus laughed a little. "That's kind of you."

"It's true."

Magnus began to say something, but his words were overtaken by a yawn.

"I'll let you go," Alec said. "Goodnight, Magnus."

"Goodnight, Alexander. I'll see you tomorrow."

***

Alec left the house on Sunday morning to searing, awful, traumatising visions of Jace and Clary kissing passionately in the kitchen, Jace's hands in very inappropriate places. Jace hadn't seemed at all embarrassed, merely wrapping Clary in his arms and winking. Clary had been mortified.

He knocked on Will and Jem's front door, armed with a bottle of ginger ale, crackers, and a maxi pack of sugar-free mints, as per Magnus' pleading request. Apparently, he wasn't really feeling much better today.

Jem opened the door, looking more than a little relieved when he said Alec on the other side.

"Come in," Jem said, standing aside to let Alec move over the threshold. "Magnus will be glad you're here."

"Is he okay?"

Jem glanced up the stairs. "He's been better. Alec, can I ask you a huge favour?"

Alec nodded.

"I've got to go to work today, because I'm on the weekend day shift this week, and Will isn't home until late because he got called in unexpectedly. Would you be able to stay with Magnus for a few hours? Will should be home by five, but—"

"Yeah, of course."

"Thank you." Jem smiled at him. "My phone's on if you need to contact me for any reason, and if I'm in surgery, Will'll pick up his."

After a few more minutes of conversation with Jem, Alec headed upstairs and knocked on Magnus' bedroom door. "Magnus?" he called out. "It's me."

The door flew open, and Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's neck tightly. Alec hugged him back with one arm, the other holding the bag of anti-nausea items, and kissed his cheek before pulling back.

"Hi," Magnus said.

Alec smiled. "Hi."

Magnus was right—he didn't look as perfectly put-together and flawlessly made-up as he usually did, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, feet bare, no make-up on except the purple polish on his fingernails. He looked tired. But he was still beautiful as ever.

"Here." Alec handed him the bag. "I brought these."

"You're an angel," Magnus told him, moving back towards the bed and sitting down slowly. He pulled out the ginger ale, twisted the cap off, and poured some into a glass sitting on his nightstand.

"How're you feeling?" Alec asked, sitting down by Magnus when he patted the space next to him.

"Shitty," Magnus replied. "But better now you're here. I haven't thrown up since five o'clock this morning."

Alec leant over and pressed a kiss to his temple. "I'm sorry you're sick."

Magnus sighed, leaning into Alec's side. "Yeah. Me too."

They were quiet for a bit, Magnus playing absently with Alec's fingers. He pulled away after a few minutes and grabbed the glass of ginger ale, sipping slowly.

"Feel worse?" Alec asked, watching him carefully.

Magnus shrugged. "Little bit. I'll be fine."

Alec didn't say anything in response. Instead, he asked Magnus if he wanted to watch something. Magnus agreed, so Alec pulled out Magnus' laptop and found something on Netflix. Magnus settled against him, his knees pulled up half over Alec's lap, head resting on Alec's shoulder.

Two episodes of Homeland later, Alec glanced down at Magnus and saw that he'd fallen asleep, breaths coming slow and even. He smiled a little and kissed Magnus' forehead, before manoeuvring Magnus off him as carefully as possible so he could use the bathroom.

When he came back, Magnus seemed to be in the strange state in between sleeping and waking. He shifted so his head was on Alec's lap, but he wasn't coherent when Alec tried to talk to him.

"Go back to sleep," Alec said, running his fingers through his hair.

Magnus mumbled something about comfiness. A smile tugged at Alec's lips. Magnus was really too adorable when he was sleepy.

When Will returned home later and stuck his head round Magnus' bedroom door, he found both teenagers asleep, Alec leaning back against the headboard, Magnus' head pillowed on Alec's lap, a half-drunk bottle of ginger ale and an open packet of crackers sitting on Magnus' bedside table. Will smiled at the picture they made. He'd give Magnus shit for it later, but really, he was glad that Magnus had found someone like Alec. Even if it didn't last forever, he thought, Alec was good for Magnus. That was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This totally wasn't supposed to turn into a sick fic, and then it did, and then my brain remembered that I suck at writing sick fics so it's a sub-par, slightly crap sick fic kind of chapter. Oh well.


	15. Fries and Crisps and Chips and Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguments about American English vs British English, kissing, and late-night texts.

**Prompt: in which your character practises coming out to an inanimate object**

 

*******

 

Magnus and Alec were sprawled across Magnus' bedroom floor, pens, papers and books laying out all around them. Alec had started off on the bed, but Magnus kept throwing scrunched up paper at him when he wanted Alec's attention, so Alec had migrated to the floor in an attempt to avoid such cruel and abusive tactics.

"Do you think there's any point revising this?" Magnus asked, tapping his pen against a page of notes written in Magnus' beautiful, sprawling handwriting. Alec didn't understand how Magnus could write like that. Even when he wrote quickly, his cursive was so elegant. Much like Magnus himself, really.

Alec glanced up from highlighting biology topics he hadn't revised yet, and peered over Magnus' shoulder. "Probably."

Magnus moaned, throwing his head back against the bed behind him. "I hate exams."

Alec smiled wryly at him. "I noticed. I love exams, of course. You know. Finals don't bother me even slightly."

"Oh, shut up." Magnus threw another piece of crushed paper at him. Alec laughed. "You don't even need to revise. You just...know everything."

Alec threw the his pencil at Magnus' chest, hard.

"Ouch!" Magnus glared at him, clearly offended. "That hurt!"

"It was supposed to. I don't just turn up to an exam and word-vomit everything I've learnt in my life. I do actually put effort into my work. You're mixing me up with Jace."

"I know." Magnus smiled at him, a hint of playfulness on his face. "You work incredibly hard. I'm teasing you."

Huffing, Alec turned back to his list of topics, cringing at how much he had left to do. He hated the world. Really, he did. His GPA was fine, but he couldn't afford to flunk these exams.

Revising with Magnus might not have been such a good idea. It was distracting. Magnus, for once, was behaving himself, but every time he leant forwards far enough, Alec could see all the way down his loose, silky top. Like, _all the way down_. Not to mention the way he chewed on the end of his pencil when he was reading, or the way his pants stretched across his hips and thighs, and—

Alec jerked his gaze away, flushing. He needed to get a grip. But when your boyfriend was Magnus Bane, and your boyfriend was sitting right next to you, looking unimaginably attractive...

Yet again, Alec was distracted from his attempts at revising by his absent-minded thoughts. Boyfriend? He and Magnus had been doing this - dating, kissing, flirting, holding hands - for a while, now. Nearly three months. But they'd never put a label on it. They'd never put the word 'exclusive' on it—not that Alec had any intention at all of doing this with anyone else. Why would he want to? Magnus was more than enough.

"Why are you staring at me?" Magnus asked, not looking up from whatever he was writing.

"I wasn't."

Magnus did shift his gaze up, then, a crooked, teasing smile on his lips. "You are allowed to look, darling. That's sort of the point."

"The point of what?"

Magnus gestured broadly around the room with his hands. "Dating."

"About that." Alec set his pencil down, feeling colour seep steadily up his neck. "I just wanted to clarify. We- Are we- I mean- Like, this- We're not—"

"Words, my darling," Magnus said, brushing his knuckles across one flaming cheek. "Use your words."

Alec cleared his throat. "Right. I just wanted to...ask. Are we– Is this exclusive? Or..." He trailed off at the partially astonished, partially offended look on Magnus' face. "What?"

"Alec, if you really think I have any interest whatsoever in anybody else, you are operating under a misapprehension." Magnus shook his head. "We've been dating three months, and you're only asking me this now?"

Alec shrugged. "I didn't really think about it. Before. And then I didn't know how to ask."

Magnus sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Kiss me?"

Raising his eyebrows, Magnus said, "I thought you wanted to revise."

"Maybe I could do with a break."

"Hm. So you thought you could manipulate your poor, unsuspecting boyfriend into kissing you?"

Alec rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. "I'm sure it would be a terrible hardship. I could pay you back for your troubles with cuddling, Netflix, and hot fries."

"Chips," Magnus corrected him.

"Chips come in a packet, many, many flavours, and are really thin."

"Chips have soft potato in the middle."

"Those are fries."

"Fries are skinny chips!"

"Chips are nothing like fries!"

"Shut up and come here," Magnus growled, grabbing at Alec's biceps and tugging him forwards.

Alec fell into Magnus hard, knocking him backwards onto the floor. He braced himself with a hand either side of Magnus' head as their lips met, the kiss hot and sloppy. The angle was all wrong, but it wasn't like Alec cared. Magnus didn't seem to, either, if the enthusiastic way he was licking into Alec's mouth and rubbing along the skin of his back under his t-shirt was anything to go by.

"You're so bloody annoying," Magnus gasped as Alec kissed across Magnus' jawline, nipping at the spot behind his ear and then tugging on the loops in his earlobe. Alec had wanted to tug on those hoops with his teeth for a long, long time, before he'd kissed Magnus. And he loved the way Magnus' eyes flitted shut and his neck arched and he let out a soft, breathy moan when Alec played with them.

"Funny," Alec breathed into his ear, "I thought I was being a good boyfriend and giving you nice things."

Alec drew back, pulling entirely away from Magnus, and straightened up, plonking himself on Magnus' bed instead of the somewhat uncomfortable floor. Although Magnus' carpet was incredibly soft.

Magnus' eyes flickered open as Alec moved away; he sat up and climbed onto the bed, pushed Alec back onto the pillows, and began to crawl up after him, eyes flashing with mischief.

God, Magnus was gorgeous.

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus' waist to get his lips within kissing distance, and then pulled the rest of him in by fitting his knees on either side of Magnus' hips. Magnus lay flat on top of him as they kissed, wet and lazy and so, so good.

Magnus pressed tantalising kisses down Alec's neck, teeth scraping across his pulse point. Alec shivered, biting his lip to stifle a moan when Magnus lingered on the spot, kissing and nipping and sucking a mark that he'd probably have to cover up later.

Alec didn't give a damn.

"God, Magnus, come here," Alec rasped, tugging gently on Magnus' hair to tilt his face back up so he could kiss him again.

Magnus' lips were swollen and shining, cheeks a little bit flushed, hair mussed a bit from where Alec had run his hands through it. He lifted his hands up to mess up some more, because there was something devastatingly attractive about knowing that he'd been the one to tear down some of Magnus' walls and make him look so honest and vulnerable and uninhibited.

Alec craned his neck up to kiss Magnus again, one hand in his hand, the other arm wrapped all the way around his waist, fingers pressing into his hip. Magnus made a whimpering sound against his lips, pressing closer, and Alec tightened his grip, bending his knees up, feet flat on the bed, so Magnus could settle more comfortably against him.

He could barely breathe, but he couldn't stop kissing Magnus. He wanted to drown in the sensation of Magnus against him, lips sliding together, tasting him. Their heartbeats were pounding, so close together that Alec couldn't tell which heartbeat was whose.

"Fuck," Magnus gasped, pulling away at last, breaths coming quickly. "Fuck."

And he leant back in for more, catching Alec's lower lip between his and sucking it into his mouth. Alec moaned in surprise, his jeans suddenly very uncomfortable, tightening his grip in Magnus' hair.

"Magnus," he breathed against his boyfriend's lips.

"Mmm."

Magnus released his lip, and kissed him slower this time, but deeper. Alec's heart rate slowed just a little; he released his hold on Magnus' hair, and slid his hand up his back to press between his shoulder blades. His knees fell down, legs tangling loosely with Magnus'.

He licked over the swell of Magnus' lips, running soft circles on the smooth skin of Magnus' hip with his thumb. Magnus arched into his touch like a cat might, spine dipping. Alec smiled into their kiss.

"Oh, Jesus Christ," came a voice.

Magnus yanked his lips back from Alec's, and both of them whipped their heads towards the source of the noise. Will stood in the doorway looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"Don't start giving me excuses," Will said, holding up a finger when Magnus opened his mouth. "I don't care, he's your boyfriend, you're seventeen and not stupid, just please shut this bloody door if you're going to make out here."

Magnus looked even more mortified than Alec felt. Alec was frozen, hands still on Magnus. Magnus, at least, had had the sense of mind to prop himself up on his palms, angling his body away from Alec's.

"We're not—"

"Magnus, I love you, but I don't want to know if you've had sex or not. I only came up to say that I've bought take-away. It's Chinese. Feel free to come down."

With that, Will backed out, pulling the door firmly shut.

Magnus collapsed onto Alec with a moan of the non-sexy kind, burying his face in Alec's neck. "Oh my god. Oh my god."

Alec ran a hand up Magnus' back, trembling a little. He had a whole new liking for Will. "I expected him to kick me out or something."

"I'm never going to be able to look him in the eye again. This is worse than when I came home to Will and Jem snogging in the kitchen." Magnus rubbed his face against Alec's shoulder. "I really don't want to think about that incident."

Alec chuckled, pressing a kiss to Magnus' exposed neck. "It could have been worse. We hadn't taken any clothes off."

"I didn't even hear Will come in."

"Neither did I."

Magnus sighed, and pulled back enough to look up at Alec. "Is it bad that I just want to lay here with you and never move?"

Alec felt his entire demeanour soften. "I want that, too."

"For a minute, then." Magnus rolled over a little, still half on top Alec, and curled against him. "Will can wait a minute."

***

**[From: Alexander <3 at 22:34]**

**How do you come out to someone?**

Magnus blinked at the text message in surprise. Alec had only left his house an hour or so ago, after they'd eaten dinner with Will and Jem. Was Alec thinking of coming out to his parents?

**[From: Magnus at 22:35]**

**It depends who it is.**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 22:35]**

**Jace**

Oh. That, admittedly, made more sense than coming out to his parents. Honestly, Magnus had a feeling that Jace had already worked it out. Magnus and Alec had never discussed hiding at school, per se, but they'd both reached a silent and mutual understanding that flaunting it around the likes of Sebastian and Camille was probably not the best idea.

**[From: Magnus at 22:36]**

**I mean, people (and by people I mean Jem, because Jem is Yoda) say you can practise coming out to an inanimate object first. So you know what you're going to say. And decide whether or not you look stupid saying it.**

  **[From: Alexander <3 at 22:37]**

**I always look stupid when I'm nervous.**

**[From: Magnus at 22:37]**

**LIES!! LIES, BLASPHEMY, OUTRAGE!!**

  **[From: Alexander <3 at 22:38]**

 **You're so dramatic.**  

**[From: Magnus at 22:39]**

**Thank you, darling ;)**

 There was a paused in texts. Magnus wondered whether Alec had gone to bed. 

**[From: Magnus at 22:41]**

**Alexander?**  

**[From: Magnus at 22:42]**

**Are you still there??**  

**[From: Magnus at 22:44]**

**Are you dead? Did you die?**

  **[From: Magnus at 22:45]**

**ALEEEECCCC**

 Finally, a response came through. 

**[From: Alexander <3 at 22:47]**

**Impulsive texter. I tried coming out to my bathroom mirror. I think I might be more red when I actually say it.**

**[From: Magnus at 22:48]**

**I am not an impulsive texter!! And yes, probably, but you're adorable when you blush ;)**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 22:48]**

**Shut up.**  

**[From: Magnus at 22:48]**

**Make me.**

 The three 'typing' dots appeared and reappeared four times, driving Magnus steadily more insane, before a text finally came through. 

**[From: Alexander <3 at 22:50]**

**Goodnight, Magnus.**  

**[From: Magnus at 22:50]**

**Goodnight, Alexander. Sweet dreams. Xx**  

**[From: Alexander <3 at 22:50]**

**You too xxx**

Magnus smiled at his phone, and, in a fit of intense sappiness, he hugged it to his chest, an enormous grin overtaking his face. Alec's texts had set a warm, fuzzy feeling alight in his stomach, and he fell asleep feeling more contented than he had for a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am never formatting that many texts again. Ever. Also, the chapter title came to me while listening to the 'boys and boys and girls and girls' line in Taylor Swift's Welcome To New York, so yeah. That...happened.


	16. It Would Be So Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone cries, no-one dies, and for once Alec doesn't blush (much).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've altered the language of the prompt used in this chapter a bit. The original prompt used the word 'transsexual', but (according to my rather extensive research for this story) a lot of people in the trans community dislike the term due to its inherently biological connotations, and the implication that all trans people want to, have, or are able to, have SRR. Obviously, this is not the case, and it leads to a lot of misconceptions.
> 
> Long story short, I changed the word transsexual to transgender, because the trans community as a whole seem to prefer it :)

**Prompt: in which your main character finds out that their friend is transgender and struggling**

 

*******

 

  
"I swear to god, Magnus Bane," Ragnor grumbled, throwing a magazine at Magnus' chest as they lounged in Cat and Ragnor's living room, "you are the most awkward, difficult person on the planet sometimes."

"We've had this conversation already," Magnus said, voice muffled by his arms where he'd rested his head ten minutes ago, when Ragnor had started lecturing him about how putting off telling Alec that he wasn't cisgender would only make it harder.

"Several times," Ragnor agreed. "So I don't understand why you still haven't—"

Magnus lifted his head and glared at his friend. "I am the person coming out and potentially ruining my relationship, here, not you."

Catarina raised her eyebrows. _He's not like that, and you know it,_ she signed.

"I wouldn't blame him," Magnus said, picking at the threadbare carpet he was sprawled across, trying to keep his tone light, "if he realised that I'm not...what he wants."

 _I don't know what the last three words you said were_ , Catarina signed, _but don't tell me. They were clearly stupid words._

Magnus huffed. "You two are so unsupportive."

"Magnus." Ragnor leaned forwards from his spot on the sofa. "I understand that you're happy with Alec. And don't get me wrong, I like him. But lying to him won't help. Because if he's really going to ditch you because of who you are, then he doesn't deserve you, and you need to get out of it now."

He sighed at Ragnor's words. "I don't like it when you make good points. It makes it harder to justify myself."

"You don't need to justify yourself. You're right. You're coming out, not us. I'm just trying to make you see beyond your fear of losing him."

"Why does everything have to be so difficult?" Magnus moaned, laying out flat on the floor, limbs spread-eagled in a starfish shape. "Why can't I just be happy?"

"Because you're lying," Ragnor said simply. "It might not matter if your friends don't know, but he's your boyfriend. He needs to know. He deserves to know. And he's going to find out at some point, if this relationship continues, even if you don't tell him in words."

He was right. Again. Alec did deserve to know. Alec deserved everything Magnus could possibly give him, and then everything he couldn't.

"I told him about Indonesia," Magnus said.

Ragnor looked at him sharply; Catarina stared at her brother in confusion, clearly having missed whatever Magnus had said. He signed it at her, finger-spelling Indonesia. Catarina's lips parted, and her eyes widened a little.

"Everything?" she asked him, her syllables slow and careful as they always were, but even more so now. She'd had to learn to regulate the volume of her voice without being able to hear it, after her accident. It was easier when nothing was going on around her, because it was easier to distinguish between the various vibrations she could feel around her. In public places, or in loud and busy places, Catarina spoke much more rarely.

"Everything. Except the bit where I wasn't called Magnus Bane."

"And what did he say?"

"He didn't really say anything," Magnus said, thinking about the phone conversation and the pure compassion in Alec's voice when he'd asked Magnus little questions, kind and sympathetic without being invasive or pitying. "But he didn't have to. I couldn't really have asked for a better reaction. He's never treated my any differently for it, or brought it up again. Oh, he asked me about Indonesian food once, but that was hardly a bad thing. It was nice, actually. He was casual about it. He didn't make a big deal out of it, but he didn't pry. Or make any comments about my biological parents."

"Tell me he at least gave you a hug," Cat said, astonishment still written across her face. "Otherwise I'm not shipping it anymore."

Magnus grinned momentarily. "He didn't, but only because this was before we started dating, and we were on the phone."

"I ship it." Catarina pulled her long legs up on the couch, then signed, _Is there a sign for that? S-h-i-p-p-i-n-g?_

"I don't know," Ragnor said. "But Magnus, if Alec reacted like that when you told him about Indonesia..."

"I know, I know. But this is different."

"A little, I suppose. But the only way you'll ever know is to try, my friend."

***

It was a Saturday afternoon.

Alec was at Magnus', Will and Jem out on their own date, curled up with Magnus on his bed, watching Netflix and eating far too much junk food. It was a beautiful, lazy kind of Saturday afternoon, with Magnus, and frankly, Alec couldn't have been more content.

Magnus had seemed somewhat distracted all day. Alec had come over at midday; they'd eaten lunch out and then come back, because both of them had fancied cuddling and doing approximately nothing else. They were four episodes further into Homeland, but Alec had a feeling that Magnus wasn't really paying attention, too busy playing with Alec's sweater and picking at his nail varnish.

But he decided not to ask. Magnus would talk if he wanted to, Alec had come to realise in the last months, and pushing didn't help. Besides, he knew that that nose-scrunching, brow-furrowing, lips-pursing expression that flitted on and off his face as they watched meant that Magnus was deep in thought.

The episode ended, credits rolling up the screen. Alec paused the video and pushed the laptop away from them, turning his head to press a kiss lingering to Magnus' temple.

"Are you okay?" he murmured.

Magnus nodded, but didn't look up at him. "I'm fine."

Alec pursed his lips. "Okay." There was a pause. "Do you want a coffee?"

"That would be great." Magnus sat up, off where he'd been laying against Alec, to let him get up. Alec swung his legs off the bed, when Magnus caught his arm. "Wait."

Alec turned back to him. "What is it?"

"I need to tell you something," Magnus blurted out.

He looked worried, Alec thought. Nervous, even, with the way he retracted his hand quickly and rubbed his fingers together, eyes on Alec's face but restless. When was Magnus ever nervous like that? What on earth did he need to say?

Alec sat back on the bed, crossing his legs and facing Magnus. He held out his hand, and smiled gently when Magnus gripped on tightly.

"Okay." Alec squeezed his hand. "You can tell me."

"Look, I–" Magnus exhaled, and then started talking all in a rush, stumbling over his words. "I want to say that this isn't a big deal, and all the stuff I'm supposed to say, but in this context it is a big deal, and you– Well, I suppose it's not a big deal until– Or it really depends on you, I guess. But just...physically, it's important."

God, hearing him talk like that, so uncertain and self-deprecating, was horrible. Alec never wanted Magnus to have to feel like that. "Magnus."

Magnus ignored him. He swallowed, but barely paused for breath. "I understand if you're not interested anymore, when I tell you. I won't be offended, I— It's hard, I get it, and you're– I'm– People keep telling me it doesn't make any difference, but it does, and I—"

"Magnus!" He lifted his other hand to rest a finger over Magnus' lips, somewhat alarmed by the state Magnus was working himself into. Magnus stared up at home, breathing heavily, lips parted, eyes wide. "Please, please stop. Nothing you say is going to make me want to break up with you. I like you. A lot. So just...take a breath and tell me."

Magnus inhaled slowly, and then let it all out in a whoosh, eyes fixed on their hands. He swallowed again, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, and closed his eyes for a moment, before looking up at Alec.

"I should have told you this months ago," Magnus murmured, eyes shining with unshed tears in the light. Alec's heart clenched painfully in his chest. What could Magnus possibly have to say that was this bad?

"It's alright," Alec tried to reassure him, squeezing his hand and reaching out to take the other one.

There was frantic panic in Magnus' eyes as he said, "Alec, I'm not– I'm trans. I'm transgender."

Alec's brow furrowed a little. "As in...you want to...transition to become female?"

Magnus' eyes closed, and he shook his head, tears slipping down his cheeks. "No," he whispered. "No. I was born biologically female. My mother, my step-father, they knew me as a girl, they—" His breathing hitched, and he let out a tiny little sob that tore at Alec's heart. "Magnus Bane hasn't even been my name for half of my life yet. And I- I'm not like you. I'm done transitioning, for now at least, but I'm still not the same as cisgender men, and that's never going to change. It's- I'm different, and I'm always going to be different. I'm never going to look...like what society says is  _normal_."

Alec couldn't deny that he was a little bewildered, and more than a little taken aback. Of all the things he'd expected Magnus to say, he hadn't expected that. At all. But it... It wasn't really bad. Magnus had built it up to be something terrible. It would have been more difficult if Magnus had meant what Alec had first thought - that he was male-to-female trans - because then Alec would have to examine the fact that he was falling in love with someone who identified as female, when he, himself, identified as gay.

But that wasn't it. He'd already transitioned. He was already presenting himself as who he felt he should always have been—very successfully, as Alec had never had any idea of the truth. It wasn't really very complicated at all. Magnus was still just...Magnus. His Magnus.

"Hey." Alec found his voice, and reached up to brush the tears off Magnus' cheeks. His make-up was smeared, black eyeliner and mascara mixing with foundation and dark purple eyeshadow. He still hadn't opened his eyes. "Magnus. Look at me."

Magnus shook his head, fear flitting across his features. "I can't."

Alec's heart shattered.

"Alright then, listen to me," he said. "It's okay, Magnus. You don't need to be upset because you think I'm going to react badly. You're just you. This is just...a piece of you I didn't know existed. And now I do. And that's it."

He screwed his eyes more firmly shut, dropping his head. "It's not– Do you realise how– Physically, sexually, it's–"

"Okay, look, that's not my business right now," Alec said. "Until we start taking our clothes off, I don't want to know and I certainly don't need to know about the intimate details of your body."

Magnus opened his eyes. "You're my boyfriend."

Alec quirked an eyebrow. "And?"

"Boyfriends tend to have sex with each other, at some point. Unless they're ace. Which I'm not."

"Neither am I."

"I'm not ready to do that yet, but at some point, you'll have to accept that I'm—"

Alec cut him off. "I am accepting it. Look. This is me, accepting it. Alright, maybe sex will seem strange at first, and maybe we'll need to communicate about different things and be more open with each other, and maybe it'll take some time to get it right, but I'm willing to try. I want to try."

He could barely believe he was talking so candidly about sex, with his boyfriend. It seemed bizarre. He thought he'd be blushing and stuttering and embarrassed the first time he talked to someone about this. Maybe it was because of the context. He had a feeling he'd still start blushing if they talked about sex in a more explicit, practical sort of way.

Magnus looked up at him, eyes wide, a painfully hopeful expression on his face. It broke Alec's heart. "Are you sure?"

"What, that I don't want to break up with you?" Alec smiled a little, and nodded. "Yeah. Very, very sure."

Magnus threw himself at Alec, wrapping his arms tight around his neck and burying his face against his shoulder. Alec hugged him back, holding him firmly in the circle of his arms. He felt Magnus' tears against his skin, the light tremors running through his frame, and Alec felt like his heart was going to burst with the weight of emotion in the room.

"I'm sorry," Alec murmured, pressing kisses against his hair, because he knew that being transgender wasn't easy, regardless of how people around you behaved, and he hadn't been there for Magnus' struggles with it, simply because he hadn't known. "I'm sorry I didn't realise. I had no idea."

Magnus pulled back a little, smiling through his tears. "That's a good thing," he whispered. "That's exactly what I've tried to achieve for the last four years."

Alec wasn't sure his heart could take much more of this. Magnus, his Magnus, his beautiful, strong, brave Magnus, who seemed so self-confident and so in charge of his own life, looked so broken and so vulnerable. It made guilt and sorrow claw at Alec's insides.

"You're beautiful," Alec said, "and you're wonderful, and incredible, and I'm so, so lucky to have you in my life."

Magnus' smile widened, and became a little less sad. "Right back at you, Alexander."

Alec reached his thumbs up to Magnus' face and began to systematically wipe the tears off his cheeks, dragging his thumbs carefully under his eyes, trying not to ruin Magnus' make-up any more.

"I must look like such a mess," Magnus muttered.

Alec smiled, dropping his hands to Magnus' knees. "A little bit," he admitted, rubbing comforting patterns into Magnus' jean-clad skin, "but I still think you're beautiful."

_And I still think I'm falling in love with you._

Magnus smiled, just a small smile. "I've got—" Magnus leant back across the bed, reaching for his nightstand. He pulled open the drawer and took out a packet of what Alec assumed were make-up wipes. "Give me a minute."

He went to stand up, but Alec grabbed his wrist. "Let me do it."

Magnus looked at him for a moment, probably deciding whether or not he trusted Alec to touch his make-up, even just to take it off, then sat back down and handed Alec the packet.

It only took Alec a couple of minutes to take off all his boyfriend's elaborate face art. (Face art, because god, what Magnus did was more than just whacking make-up haphazardly on himself.) It was oddly satisfying, wiping away the layers of foundation and eyeliner to find the real, bare, unedited Magnus behind the glittery mask. Gorgeous though the mask was, there was something special, intimate, about seeing the honest picture.

"Satisfied?" Alec asked, throwing the used wipes in the bin across the room.

Magnus turned his head and looked in his mirror. "Perfectly satisfied."

"I'm glad." He kissed Magnus, once, slow and long and deep, aching feelings stirring in his chest when Magnus kissed him back, fingers warm against the nape of his neck. It would be so easy to fall in love with Magnus Bane. So very, very easy.

"Can I ask you something?" Alec asked, once they'd parted.

Magnus looked a little wary, but he said, "Of course."

"How much money do you spend on make-up every year?"

Magnus stared at him for a minute. He blinked slowly. And then, quite without warning, he burst out laughing, throwing his head back, utterly surprised and gorgeously uninhibited. Alec wasn't quite sure why it was so funny, but he wasn't complaining about making Magnus laugh when he'd been so miserable.

"Probably more than I should, darling," Magnus said eventually. "Enough that it was one of the first things Jem and Will decided I had to pay for myself." He smiled. "You never cease to amaze me, Alexander Lightwood, you know that?"

"Is that a good thing?"

"Oh, absolutely." Magnus kissed his cheek, eyes shining, with joy rather than devastation this time. "It's a very good thing."

Alec flushed when he smiled back.

Yeah. So he was definitely going to be blushing when they started talking about sex in a less PG way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. So. Okay. That happened. Thoughts? 
> 
> (As per usual, if any of my comments within the story regarding Magnus' experiences seem dodgy, please let me know, because I'm cis, and while I have some personal experience, the last thing I want to do is disrespect such a diverse, already misunderstood and under-represented community!)


	17. Meet Ellen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone meets Ellen, and someone else discovers the asexual spectrum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoever wrote these prompts clearly likes Walmart. Early update because I'm off with no Internet tomorrow! (Well, today...)

**Prompt: in which your character meets Ellen DeGeneres at Walmart**

 

*******

 

Alec's phone was ringing insistently. It was Magnus' ringtone, and while he adored his boyfriend - really, he did - his little brother was struggling with his homework, and Alec had offered to help, as his parents seemed to be too busy to fill their parental roles.

The fifth time Alec's phone rang, he sighed, and set down the pencil he'd been using to demonstrate long multiplication to Max.

"Give me two minutes," Alec said. "Then I'll be right back, okay?"

Max looked curiously at Alec as he picked up his phone and called Magnus back. "Is it Magnus?"

Alec frowned at that. How did Max know who Magnus was? Maybe Isabelle had told him. Yeah. That was probably it. Alec nodded to Max, and held up one finger to ask him to wait for a moment. He stepped out of the living room and leant against the wall of the hallway as he waited for Magnus to answer.

"Alec!" Magnus hissed, voice filled with excitement, the moment he picked up. "You will not believe what just happened to me!"

Alec raised his eyebrows, a smile quirking at his lips. "What happened?"

"Guess!"

"Someone hit you in the face for your insistence on making people guess things they can't possibly know the answer to?" Alec asked dryly.

"That's mean." He could hear the pout in Magnus' voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Alec laughed a little. "Go on, tell me. What happened?"

"I just met Ellen! In Walmart! Ellen, Alec, _Ellen_. _The_ Ellen. And she goes to Walmart. Like, who knew?"

Alec smiled at Magnus' enthusiasm. He knew that Magnus was an avid watcher of the Ellen Show. It was one of Magnus' Things. The Ellen Show, American Idol, Project Runway... He loved all of them. Whenever Magnus wanted to watch them, Alec spent more time studying him and less time paying any attention to the show itself. Which had got him into trouble with Magnus once or twice.

"So?" Alec asked. "What was she like? Did you talk to her? Is she as nice in real life as she is on TV?"

"Of course I spoke to her," Magnus said, scoffing. "Do you know me at all? And yes, she is. She's so genuine, and she's funny, and she actually engaged in conversation with me, and god, I think I need to sit down."

Alec laughed again. "Did you get a picture?"

"Yeah." Magnus chuckled, and he sounded embarrassed, to Alec's astonishment. Magnus didn't really do embarrassed. "I was actually about to let her go and get back to her life, but she was like, _do you want to take a picture?_ Alec, I just met Ellen DeGeneres. How am I ever going to come down from this high? I think I'm shaking."

Alec wanted to be able to see the look on Magnus' face. He wanted to laugh and smile with him. He wanted to feel Magnus' excitement and joy, because Magnus' happiness was infectious. He wanted to pick Magnus up and spin him around until they were both dizzy, because he was a dork, and Magnus was amazing.

He was snapped out of his Magnus-induced euphoria by a shout that undoubtedly came from his sister in the general direction of the kitchen. His smile dropped away.

"Magnus, I'll call you back later. I have to go."

"Alright." Magnus' voice had softened. "I'll talk to you later, darling. And see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow."

He hung up quickly, before Magnus could distract him any further, and darted back into the kitchen. Maryse stood with her hands on her hips, a glare directed at Isabelle; Isabelle had furious tears streamed down her cheeks, and Max was still sitting at the table, worry clear on his face.

Alec stepped forwards and angled himself a little in front of Max. "What's going on?"

Maryse turned her scowl of disapproval on him. "I was under the impression that helping Max with his homework meant sitting there and helping him, not sneaking off to chat on your phone."

"Are you blind?" Isabelle shouted. She waved a crumpled piece of paper in the air, which was covered top to bottom with Alec's handwriting, and, in places, Max's, where Alec had been trying to explain the concepts to his nine-year-old brother. "He left for two minutes, Mom! Alec has his own stupid ass homework to do! Shouldn't you be the one doing this?" She shook the paper again in emphasis.

"Izzy," Alec warned her, darting his eyes pointedly to Max.

Isabelle shook her head, then turned on her heel and stormed out, slamming the kitchen door behind her hard enough to make everything raffle.

There was silence. Alec rested a hand lightly on Max's shoulder; Maryse cleared her throat. Nobody spoke. Eventually, Maryse turned around and flicked on the coffee machine, the whir and grind infiltrating the quiet.

"You want to finish this later?" Alec asked Max. "After dinner?"

Max nodded. "Yeah. And Alec?"

"Mm?"

"You're a good teacher." Max smiled at him. "Even if Jace is funnier."

Alec rolled his eyes fondly, and ruffled his little brother's hair. Jace was usually the one who managed to gain Max's praises, so it made his heart do a pleased little flutter when Max said things like that. He didn't resent Jace for the relationship he had with Max, one of fun and jokes and humour, rather than the one of seriousness and responsibility that Alec seemed to be landed with, but it was nice, all the same.

"Did someone say something about me and funny?" Jace asked from the doorway, towel-drying his hair, barefoot, clearly just out of the shower. "Because I assure you, I am the epitome of hilarious."

"You're the epitome of a lot of things," Alec said dryly.

Jace shrugged, spreading one hand wide. "What can I say? You can't argue with perfection."

"That's an interesting interpretation," Alec allowed, "but I was more thinking you're the epitome of things like annoying, and cocky, and over-confident."

Jace looked offended, in the same sort of way Magnus did when Alec made those sorts of comments, letting him know that he wasn't actually offended in the slightest. "I'm not sure why I call you my friend."

"Oh, shut up," Alec said. "Like you don't know it's true."

"I will admit to nothing."

Alec shook his head, and reached up to fluff up Jace's hair in the same way he had Max's a few minutes ago. Jace glared at him, and began to drag his fingers through it to put it back in place. Alec's grin widened.

"You're an evil brother, Alec!" Jace shouted up the stairs.

"Love you too, Jace!"

***

"Raph."

"Raph."

" _Raph_."

Raphael's head snapped up, and he glared at Simon. " _Dios_ , will you never stop calling me such an infernal thing?"

Simon smirked at him. Success. He'd been trying to get Raphael's attention for the last ten minutes, but Raphael was transfixed by his phone. Which was appalling, really, because they were on a coffee date. "Nope. It's a cute nickname. All guys need nicknames for their boyfriends."

"I am not your boyfriend," Raphael told him, eyes back on his phone.

Oh.

Well. Okay then.

Simon swallowed, trying not to let anything show on his face (not that Raphael was looking at him) and wrapped both hands around his coffee cup. They'd been hanging out and kissing and going on dates for months. Simon wasn't seeing anyone else. To his knowledge, and Isabelle's, and Magnus', neither was Raphael.

But clearly, Simon shouldn't have assumed that just because that was true, Raphael was his boyfriend.

"Simon."

Simon looked up. Raphael's voice wasn't quite as dismissive as it usually was, and, when their eyes met, his expression was soft. Fond. He reached out, across the table, and touched the back of Simon's hand with his fingers; Simon turned his hand over, and their fingers interlinked.

"I'm not sure I'm capable of being your boyfriend," Raphael said.

Simon's brow furrowed. "Why? Because your mom is—?"

"No." He'd set his phone down, turned the screen off, but he looked down at the black screen rather than at Simon when he spoke. "Because the thought of having sex with you is partly terrifying, and slightly disturbing."

Simon stared at him for a long, long moment, trying to wrap his head around what Raphael was saying. But he didn't understand. Did Raphael just mean him? Did he mean him, and other people? And why the hell did sex have anything to do with whether or not Raphael could be his boyfriend? Was there some kind of gay sex test they had to pass that nobody had told him about?

God. _Gay sex_. He'd never believed he'd be thinking about having gay sex so casually, before he'd stood in that alleyway kissing the living daylights out of Raphael Santiago. Not that he was particularly desperate to have sex with Raphael. Not that he didn't want to, it was just... Well. The idea of anything going anywhere _near_ —

Yeah. Okay. He was a bit intimidated by the whole concept. And there were other ways to...satisfying his libido.

"Okay," Simon said, slowly, pushing the thoughts firmly out of his head. "I'm not sure I understand."

Raphael glanced up at him, shifting uncomfortably in place. "Sex, in general," he clarified. "It's just... I don't feel attraction to people in a sexual kind of way. It seems weird to me. Kissing, cuddling, touching—that I get. It's an affectionate thing. I mean, I suppose maybe I can understand having sex if you're deeply in love with someone and you want to- to connect, but I don't...desire people like that. It's like—" Raphael scrubbed at his face with his free hand, looking frustrated. "I don't know how to explain it."

"You mean you're asexual?" Simon clarified. "Or grey-ace? Demi, or something?"

Raphael blinked. "I'm what?"

"Asexual," Simon repeated. "Like...all that stuff you said. People who don't feel sexual attraction at all, or only feel it when they've built a significant romantic attachment to someone."

Raphael opened his mouth, then closed it again. "I don't know. I didn't know that was an identity."

"Yeah." Simon smiled, and rubbed the back of Raphael's hand. "It's a thing. You can figure it out later. You don't have to worry about labels."

Raphael was quiet, but he nodded; Simon took it as a good sign, but Raphael still seemed to be thinking far too hard.

"And about the sex thing," he said, because he could sense Raphael's worry, and he wanted to reassure him, "it's not, like, a deal-breaker for me. You don't have to have sex to be in a relationship with someone. You don't have to have sex for a relationship to be valid. You don't need to, like, consummate a relationship. It's such a stupid old-fashioned idea, anyway. Who the fuck decided sex made a relationship complete? Didn't all those same stupid people say that sex is sinful and terrible and shit and going to make you go to hell, too?"

He stopped, because he was rambling, and if he wasn't careful he'd start saying something disrespectful about Raphael's religion. They'd talked about it, a few times. Simon was Jewish, but he had a very open mind. He abhorred people who thought they were above everyone else because they took their religious texts far too literally, and completely ignored the context of the modern world. And science. Science was a thing for a reason.

Raphael chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment. "Does that mean I am your boyfriend?"

Simon shrugged. "I don't know. Do you want to be?"

"Yes." Raphael smiled shyly. "Yes, I think I do."

Simon leant across the table and kissed him once, lightly, managing to flick his tongue against the seam of Raphael's lips before he pulled back, unashamed. Some very, very traditional-looking couple across the room was staring at them, but in astonishment, rather than plain judgement. "Then I suppose you are."

Raphael kissed his hand. Simon's heart did a happy little leap in his chest.

"Simon?"

Simon expected Raphael to say something snarky. Something that would make him groan, or laugh, or flip Raphael off, because that was the kind of relationship they seemed to have. (Simon loved it.)

But he didn't.

"Thank you," he said instead. "For everything you said. I–" He laughed, sounding oddly embarrassed. Simon hadn't been aware that Raphael knew what embarrassment was. "I didn't know about that. I thought I was just strange."

"You are strange," Simon told him, smiling. "But not because of that."

Raphael rolled his eyes. He was smiling, just a little, one of those tiny smiles that hardly noticed; it was the most genuine smile Raphael was capable of. It made Simon's heart flip over.

" _Idiota_ ," Raphael said.

" _Gracias_."


	18. This Is Important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone comes out, and someone makes out.

**Prompt: in which your character comes out to someone important**

 

 

*******

 

  
When the telling sound of the front door closing met Alec's ears on the Sunday morning after his final exams of the school year, marking the departure of his parents, he swung himself off his bed and padded across the hallway to his brother's room. He knocked lightly on the door, stomach twisting with nerves at the thought of what he was about to do.

_Hey, Jace. I'm gay._

He wasn't exactly sure why he was so nervous about this. It was just Jace. His brother, one of his closest friends, Magnus' friend (even if the two were loathe to admit it). It wasn't like Jace was going to shun him for it. He most probably wouldn't even be slightly weird about it. But for some reason– For some reason, he was still nervous as fuck.

"Jace?" Alec called out, knocking again. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sorry. Sure," came Jace's muffled voice

Alec swung the door open to find Jace picking up an extensive amount of paper which had been scattered across his bedroom floor. Clearly, he'd just knocked them off his desk. Jace hated mess. He was completely obsessive about things being perfectly neat and tidy. It was incredibly annoying. When they were younger, and the two of them had shared a bedroom, Alec used to go across to Jace's side of the room and mess up his infernally perfect organisation system to piss him off when he'd done something stupid to irritate the hell out of Alec. It usually resulting with them glaring at each other, arms folded, and stomping around, and then flicking Cheerios at each other the following morning to prove that the argument was over, and that they'd made up (usually non-verbally), and that it was all fine. They bonded over their mutual satisfaction in pissing off Maryse and Robert.

"You okay, Alec?" Jace asked as he stacked the papers on his desk. "You look worried."

Alec realised that he'd been twisted his hands together. He forced himself to drop his hands, only to start chewing on his lower lip. Jace looked concerned.

"Hey. Seriously. Sit down." Jace pointed emphatically to the bed. "Spit it out, you'll feel better."

Alec rolled his eyes, but did as Jace said, and sat down on his bed. "Thank you so much for such caring and in-depth advice, Jonathan."

"Ugh." Jace wrinkled his nose, thumping down opposite Alec with his legs crossed. "Don't call me that."

"It's your name."

"Yeah, but we all know how you feel about your name, don't we?"

Alec glared. Jace glared right back.

"Alright, alright," Alec conceded. "I don't care."

"Great. Now get whatever it is off your chest so I can go and eat breakfast, because I'm fucking starving."

"You could have gone down to get breakfast at any time in the last four-plus hours, you know? It's nearly midday."

Jace shuddered, and leant forwards as though confessing a deadly secret. "Yeah, but Alec, Maryse was still here, and she's in a crappy mood. I kind of wanted to keep all my fingers."

Alec cracked a smile. Jace wasn't wrong (though how he knew Alec had no idea). Maryse had been in a terrible mood this morning. She'd snapped at Isabelle, so much that Isabelle had stormed out of the house and still hadn't answered any of Alec's texts, and she'd pointedly ignored Alec all morning. He wasn't sure why, exactly, but she'd probably have a plethora of reasons ready, were he to ask, so he'd kept his mouth shut, and chose to believe that it wasn't personal.

"Fair enough." He exhaled, dropped his gaze down to his hands for a moment, then looked back to Jace. "I need to tell you something."

Jace raised his eyebrows, but, for once, he looked serious. "You know you can tell me anything, Alec. Whatever it is, it's okay."

Alec nodded. "I know." He bit his lip. "Jace, I– I'm gay. And I'm dating Magnus."

For a moment, Jace just looked at him. Then he blinked, golden lashes sweeping up and down slowly, once, and then a crooked little smile tilted up the corners of his mouth.

"Alec," he said, not unkindly, "I sort of worked that out. I mean, before you even met Magnus, you weren't exactly interested in girls. Why do you think I stopped trying to talk boobs with you? Talking to _Isabelle_ about girls was more fruitful, and she usually ranted at me for being anti-feminist. And the way you and Magnus look at each other..." He shrugged. "It's the same way I look at Clary."

Alec exhaled. "You don't- It doesn't bother you, right?"

"No, of course not." Jace gripped Alec's shoulder. "You're my brother, Alec, and I love you. I don't care whether you want to sit on a dick or get in a girl's—"

"Jesus Christ! Okay! Shut up!" Alec flushed bright red, absolutely mortified. "Can you not?"

"What?" Jace smirked. "Sex not that good?"

"I- I'm not– Oh my god, shut up, Jace!" He picked up a pillow and whacked Jace over the head with it, three times for good measure, and then threw it at his chest.

"I'm joking!" Jace held his hands up in surrender, flat on his back on the bed, laughing his ass off. "You've got virgin written all over your face."

"I'm gonna kill you," Alec growled, lunging for Jace.

The two of them toppled onto the floor, laughing and grappling at each other's wrists and rolling around in the floor as they wrestled with each other like they were thirteen again. They'd driven Maryse mad with their constant fighting, but they couldn't help it. They'd been energetic teenage boys who'd needed to let off some steam.

Alec got Jace pinned with his knees, partly because Jace had started laughing too hard to retaliate, and reached back to grab the pillow and smack him merrily over the head with it again.

"If you wanted a pillow fight, Alexander, you should have said so," Jace told him, gasping for breath, tears in his eyes.

"Don't call me that," Alec said, without any real bite behind his words.

Jace raised his eyebrows, their fighting momentarily at a truce. "Magnus calls you Alexander."

Alec squirmed uncomfortably. "That's...that's different."

"Alec." Jace looked amused. "Chill. You and Magnus have your thing, I get it. I'm just messing with you."

Alec smiled at him mischievously. "I'm still gonna kick your ass."

"Oh yeah?" There was a glint in Jace's golden eyes. "Game on, Lightwood. Game fucking on."

***

"Here."

A steaming mug appeared in Isabelle's line of vision, the inviting smell of coffee wafting towards her. Coffee always made her think of her brother. And she didn't want to think about Alec, now. Alec was the whole reason she was so upset in the first place.

It was just so goddamn unfair. Why did the world have to be so horrible? Why did he have to suffer for it? Why couldn't people just love each other, and be kind of each other? And why did it have to be their stupid, ignorant parents who were so problematic?

"Thank you," Isabelle said, quietly, taking the mug. She deliberately kept her fingers away from the other girl's, because last time they'd spoken, she'd had her heart broken, and she couldn't let it happen again.

The morning had started out just fine. She'd screwed around with Alec last night, making teasing, well-concealed comments about Magnus with Jace and their father in the room, and Alec hadn't been amused. She'd thought it was hilarious. Alec had yanked on her ponytail in retaliation, lips twitching as though he'd been trying not to smile because he wanted to be annoyed with her.

But then before she'd gone to bed, she'd overheard her parents discussing something in low voices. Her father had sounded a little upset. Maryse had sounded angry.

_"I accept that, and I'm sorry, Robert, but neither you or I could change the fact that that man was gay, and he brought it on himself," Maryse hissed._

_"Look, I'm just saying, this isn't what Michael would have wanted. This silence. This denial."_

_"About what, exactly?" Maryse snapped at him. "What do you want me to do, sit them down and lecture them? I'm sure they've worked out what it is. And why should his opinions make any difference to me?"_

_"Maryse," Robert said, sounding reproachful._

_"I'm sorry."_

_Isabelle's eyes widened. When did Maryse ever apologise for anything?_

_"But," she continued, "that man... It was his fault, what happened. Entirely his fault. And I'm not going to apologise for saying so. He was gay, what did he expect?"_

Isabelle hadn't been able to listen to any more of that. She'd gone to bed in tears. Because how could Alec ever feel safe to come out to their parents when they had those sorts of attitudes to homosexuality? How could Alec ever be himself in this family? Why did he have to be denied his basic human liberties, just because of who he loved?

And what about her? She was beginning to think that one day she'd have to be honest with people around her about who she was attracted to, as well. Did her parents just think all those horrible things about gay men? What about bisexual men? Asexual people? What about women who loved women?

She'd got into an argument with Maryse in the morning. She'd ignored Alec, because she wasn't sure she could talk to him without bursting into tears, and she really, really didn't want to do that. But her emotions had welled up inside her, and she'd exploded at her mother in a fit of fiery rage and sheer fury, and she'd stormed out before she started throwing things.

She could barely remember what Maryse had said to set her off.

And then she'd found herself at Lydia's front door, and she'd knocked before she could even think twice about it. Lydia had opened the door, and she'd looked astonished, and wary, and then Isabelle's lower lip had wobbled, and Lydia had ushered her inside, sat her down, and let her pour everything out while Lydia made her a drink.

She knew for certain, then, that she was a little bit in love with Lydia.

Now, Lydia stood over her, watching her sipping coffee, and sighed. "Tell me what I can do to help, Izzy."

Isabelle flinched. "Make my parents less bigoted."

Lydia sat down beside her, a sad smile on her face. She had her hair in a fishtail braid, laying over one shoulder, and was in jeans and a loose grey cashmere sweater that looked incredibly stylish. Isabelle wished she could stop thinking about how beautiful Lydia was.

"I'm sorry," Lydia said, sounding a little hesitant. "It must be horrible to listen to. For your brother and for you."

Isabelle blinked back tears, and leant her head against Lydia's shoulder. Lydia stilled for a moment, and then, slowly, wound her arm around Isabelle's waist. They stayed like that for a moment, quiet, Isabelle taking comfort from Lydia's touch.

"About what I said," Lydia began, "last time we spoke, outside the store—"

"Don't, Lydia." Isabelle sat up, turning her face away. "It's fine. I get it."

"No." Lydia's hand touched her bare forearm. "You don't. My moms... When they got married, my grandparents weren't there. None of them. Because they all hated that my parents were getting married to each other. And they never saw me, never met me, because they thought it was awful that my uncle donated sperm to my mom—his sister-in-law, that is. They thought it was unnatural." Her shoulders slumped. "I didn't want that to happen to you, Izzy. And I— If love for each other made my parents do something like that, getting disowned from their families, what could love make me do?"

"Lydia—"

"I don't want to push you away, Isabelle." She smiled a little. "I like you. More than anyone else I've ever met. But I'm worried."

Isabelle looked at her for a long, long moment, hardly daring to hope. "What are you saying?"

"That I'll be yours, if you want me. Just...you might have to be patient with me."

Isabelle broke into a smile, heart soaring. If she wanted Lydia? God, Lydia was all she'd been able to think about for months, even before the Walmart incident. How could she not want her?

"I think I can do patient," Isabelle said. "I've got Alec as a brother."

Lydia laughed, and god, she was so, so beautiful. "Everyone knows I'm as bisexual as Magnus," Lydia said, more softly now, "but if you don't want people to know, I won't tell anyone."

"For a while," Isabelle said. "I only just realised this about myself. I'm not sure I'm ready for everyone else to know just yet."

"That's okay." Lydia brushed hair back from her face. "I can do that. I'm leaving school once my finals are over, anyway. Don't worry," she added, smiling, upon seeing Isabelle's look of terror, "I'm going to Cornell."

For a moment, Isabelle was going to gush about how incredible it was that Lydia was going to an Ivy League university (not that it was at all surprising) and ask her how long her veterinary degree would take, because Lydia had apparently been fixated on her career choice since she was about five years old.

But then she remembered that, although Cornell was in New York State, it was about four hours away.

"Don't look at me like that," Lydia said. "Please. I'll still come home every school break, and some weekends, and there'll be times when I need to come back to the city to do research and internships. I'm not really going to be very far away."

Isabelle nodded, heart lifting a little, tension bleeding out of her shoulders. "Yeah." She smiled. "Yeah, you're right." She paused for a moment, eyes flicking to Lydia's lips momentarily. "Lydia?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Lydia smiled. "Please do."

Isabelle lifted her hands slowly, resting one on Lydia's collarbone, and brushed her fingers across her cheek, along her hairline, down towards her jaw. Lydia flushed, colour rising high on her cheeks, and Isabelle smiled. Oh, she was so beautiful. Isabelle wanted her so, so much. Not even in a sexual way (although she probably wouldn't decline, if it was offered).

"Isabelle," Lydia whispered.

Isabelle kissed her.

Their lips met, slow and warm and tantalising. Isabelle wanted to thread her fingers through Lydia's long, thick hair and kiss her devastatingly slowly, until she whimpered and moaned and fell apart.

But not now. Now, she just wanted this. This, them, Lydia's lips soft on hers, her hands snaking round to tug Isabelle closer, pressing into the dips in her back.

"Oh, you're gorgeous," Lydia whispered when they broke apart for a moment.

Isabelle smiled, huffing out a little laugh. Her hair, loose, fell around the two of them like a curtain, shielding them from the outside world. She wanted to stay there with Lydia forever.

"Hey." Lydia tipped her chin up, and kissed her nose. "Don't be sad, my beautiful girl. My beautiful Isabelle. You're too lovely to be so sad. You're Isabelle Lightwood. You're sassy and full of life." Lydia kissed her again, lips pressing to the corner of her mouth. "Don't be sad," she whispered again.

Isabelle's heart felt like it was going to explode. _My beautiful girl. My beautiful Isabelle._ Lydia was too much. It was all too much. But maybe– Maybe Lydia felt this, whatever this was, as intensely and fiercely as Isabelle did.

Their lips met again, hotter and harder, tongues slipping past lips. Isabelle dragged her teeth across Lydia's lower lip, and Lydia sucked in a sharp breath, fingers digging into her hips.

Somehow, Isabelle found herself straddling Lydia's lap, one knee either side of her thighs, hands messing up her hair, tilting Lydia's face up to kiss her deeper.

"Wait, wait, wait," Lydia gasped, pulling back. "Wait. Not like this. Not—" She cleared her throat, and stroked her knuckles along Isabelle's cheek. "We should slow down."

"Yeah." Isabelle bit her lip in an attempt to stop herself grinning. She failed miserably.

Lydia laughed, and kissed her forehead. "You're adorable."


	19. This One Is Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus teases Alec in McDonald's, there's flirting, everyone's possessive, they talk about Pride festivals, and that's literally it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!! If you haven't see the film 'Me Before You', or read the book, and you want to avoid spoilers, skip the first four paragraphs. Also, there is...so much dialogue in this. I'm sorry :)

**Prompt: in which a McDonald's drive-thru attendant tries to flirt with your main character**

 

*******

 

  
"I was so convinced he was going to change his mind!" Magnus gushed, waving his hands around wildly as Alec tried to concentrate on navigating busy New York traffic on their way to get McDonald's. "All the way through, I was waiting for the moment he'd turn round and say he wouldn't do it! And when he went to call in his parents at the end, I thought that was it. And the end! I thought he'd roll down the street and kiss her! But that stupid letter!"

Alec laughed silently, shoulders shaking as he waited for a gap in the traffic to turn right. He and Magnus had just been out to see Me Before You, and Magnus was suitably traumatised by the ending. They'd left the theatre thirty minutes ago, and he was still ranting about it. Not that Alec minded.

"It was a _The Fault In Our Stars_ kind of film," Alec said, once he'd turned. "There was no way he was going to change his mind. Too predictable."

"It made me cry, Alexander! You're supposed to be sympathetic!"

"I'm sorry." He wasn't. Magnus knew it. "I'd kiss you, but I'm driving."

"Well, we could be ambitious..."

"Magnus. I'm not getting into a car accident because I can't keep my hands off my boyfriend. Don't be ridiculous."

Magnus pouted at him, and rested a hand on his thigh. "Can't I persuade you?" He rubbed a circle into Alec's skin through his jeans.

Alec shivered, and turned to glare at Magnus. "You're a little shit, I hope you know that."

Magnus smiled, lips stretching wide, and squeezed Alec's thigh. "Thank you, darling."

Alec groaned, and picked Magnus' hand up off his thigh, holding it firmly instead. "I fucking hate you."

"You know, it's really no wonder I fell for you so hard. You're so kind and caring and eloquent. I don't know how you come up with such beautiful declarations."

Alec rolled his eyes down. "Oh, shut up."

He wound down his window as he stopped their car (technically, Jem's car, but Magnus had asked him to drive them back, because he hated driving) up by the McDonald's drive-thru.

Alec leant out of the window to order. "Hi, can we have one Big Mac, one cheeseburger, two diet cokes and fries, please?"

The guy on the drive-thru, who looked about nineteen or twenty, flashed Alec a smile. "Sure. How many lots of fries is that?"

Alec turned back to Magnus, raising an eyebrow at him. Magnus looked amused. "We can share."

"Just one," Alec said to the attendant.

Not even a minute later, Alec was taking the drinks and food from the attendant and passing them back to Magnus. His fingers brushed against the attendant's, and the guy smiled at him again. Alec frowned a little, but passed the food back to Magnus and handed over his card to pay. Beside him, Magnus was cracking up, muffling his laughter with the back of his hand.

"Thanks," Alec said, punching his pin into the machine when the guy handed it down to him and then removing his card.

"You're welcome." The guy's smile widened. "Have a _great_ day, yeah?"

Alec stared at him, puzzled. "Yeah. Thanks."

"Enjoy your food."

After another half-hearted expression of false gratitude, Alec rolled his window up and pulled out. Magnus was guzzling coke, his entire body still shaking with laughs.

"What?" Alec demanded, opening the bag with one hand to get at his burger. "Damn, I can't open that."

"Here." Magnus, still grinning, eyes shining with mirth, dug out Alec's food and handed it to him.

"Thank you." Alec flickered his eyes away from the road to smile at Magnus briefly.

Magnus chuckled. "Oh, McDonald's drive-thru guy, this one is mine."

Alec frowned. "What?"

"Darling, his eyes lit up at the sight of you. He was trying to flirt with you. I should have told him that you're a very hard person to flirt with."

Alec's frown deepened. "He wasn't flirting."

"Yes, sweetheart, he really was. Well, you're gorgeous, why wouldn't he?"

Alec flushed. "Because when I rolled down the window I was still holding your hand?"

"That's sweet," Magnus said, and Alec didn't really understand why, but he didn't ask. "It took you six months to notice me flirting with you, so maybe I should let him know that it takes perseverance to attract your attention."

"He's not going to get my attention. You've got my attention."

Magnus put his hand over his heart, and fanned himself with the other. "Oh, you _can_ be sweet and lovely."

Alec glanced over at him. "What?"

Magnus laughed, grabbed his hand, and kissed the back of it. "Don't worry, Alexander. You're just being a wonderful boyfriend."

Alec smiled, dropped his hand to Magnus' knee, and squeezed lightly, because payback was a bitch. Magnus' eyes darkened, pupils dilating. Alec mentally patted himself on the back. He could tease and be plain cruel too. It wasn't just Magnus who could drive him crazy.

"I really hope my parents aren't home," Magnus muttered, crossing his ankles. "I need to make out with you."

Alec, in a fit of boldness, winked at him. "I'm sure that can be arranged."

"My my, Alexander." Magnus was smirking again. "What has gotten into you today?"

Alec shrugged. "I don't know. Isabelle seems less miserable, my parents haven't been horrible since last weekend, Jace and Clary haven't made out in front of me for three days, and I'm on a date with you. I'm happy. I'm happy with you."

Magnus' expression softened. "I'm happy with you, too."

There was a beat of comfortable, meaningful quiet, Alec's hand resting on Magnus' knee, Magnus' hand threaded over his.

"Can you pass me the fries?" Alec asked.

Magnus rolled his eyes, and muttered, "Chips."

Magnus offered him two, holding them up for Alec to eat so he could drive and not have to move his hand from Magnus' thigh. Alec licked the salt off Magnus' fingertip, because this argument was starting to become as infuriating as those arguments he'd had with Jace a gazillion times.

Magnus' eyes widened for a moment at the (very brief, because Alec really wasn't quite that daring) touch of Alec's tongue to his fingertips. "We're so making out later."

Alec bit his lower lip to stop himself smiling. "Yeah. I think that's a great idea."

***

The following day, they found themselves at McDonald's again, on foot this time. Alec had been sheltering with Magnus, because his parents were having an explosive argument about something, and they'd got bored of watching Netflix, so had decided to go out for a walk. Which, really, was just an excuse to wander around holding Alec's hand, showing off to the world that _this gorgeous boy is mine._

When they walked up to the counter, Magnus' eyes lit up with amusement when he saw the same guy as had served them at the drive-thru the day before standing behind the counter. Alec didn't notice as they joined the queue.

Magnus reached up on tip-toe to tell Alec what he wanted, because it was loud in the shop, so he needed to be nearer his ears if he didn't want to shout. "I'm just going to use the cash machine."

Alec looked at him suspiciously. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing." Magnus blinked innocently at him, and kissed his cheek. Alec flushed bright red, looking shyly pleased. "Oh, please stop being so cute, Alexander." He kissed Alec's other cheek, just because he could, and then he walked over to the cash machine by the door, keeping one eye on Alec and the flirty McDonald's employee.

Alec approached the counter a few minutes later, just as Magnus was taking out his cash and sticking it in his wallet. He leant against the wall, watching the employee's eyes flash with recognition. A smile covered his face, as flirty as it had been yesterday, and he leant forwards unnecessarily far as Alec placed their order.

Their fingers brushed twice, both times unnecessarily. Magnus felt a tiny, tiny little stab of jealousy, but he pushed it down, because Alec had been so oblivious yesterday, and he'd said such wonderful things, and Magnus knew he had no reason to be jealous. Besides, this was far more amusing than anything else.

If only Flirty McDonald's Employee knew how hard it was to get Alec to notice anything. Magnus could sympathise—Alec was incredibly attractive, and he really had no idea, and the slightly-moody, slightly-mysterious thing really appealed to some people. But there was no way he'd get anything out of Alec from a two-minute interaction in McDonald's, even if he hadn't been dating Magnus.

Magnus watched with his eyebrows raised as Flirty McDonald's Employee flashed his best smile, and dragged his fingers through his hair, and bit his lip, and laughed embarrassedly when he (presumably, deliberately) dropped Alec's receipt. Their fingers brushed yet again when he handed over the receipt, and then again when he handed over the food. By the time Alec took the drinks, he was pointedly avoiding touching hands with the guy.

Deciding to head over and save Alec before he could get any more uncomfortable (because, if Magnus knew Alec at all, then he knew that Alec would have worked it out by now, and he'd feel awkward about it), Magnus pushed off from the wall and headed towards his boyfriend.

"Hey, look," Flirty McDonald's Employee was saying, "there's a number on the bottom. Give me a call. If you like."

Magnus saw Alec's mouth drop open, before he snapped it shut again. He looked mildly horrified.

"Hey, darling," Magnus said loudly, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Got everything?"

"Yeah." Alec glanced over at Flirty McDonald's Employee once more, confusion written all over his face. "Let's go."

Magnus burst out laughing as soon as they got outside. Alec paused in searching through their bag, and glared at Magnus. Magnus only laughed harder.

"That was your plan all along," Alec accused. "You knew exactly what would happen."

Magnus grinned at him. "I will admit to nothing."

Huffing, Alec thrust his food and cardboard cup of coke at him, refusing to look at him. Magnus chuckled, taking a bite of his burger. Alec shot him another glare, tearing into his own burger. God, they were being so unhealthy. Not that he particularly cared, really.

After several minutes of silence, Magnus felt a little worried. He'd meant it as a joke. He'd meant to tease Alec. But maybe he'd gone too far. Maybe Alec was really angry with him, not just jokingly annoyed.

"Alec?" Magnus asked tentatively.

"Mm?" Alec didn't look at him.

"Are you angry with me?"

Alec raised his eyebrows in clear surprise, turning his head. "Of course not. Why would I be?"

"The... What happened in McDonald's."

"Oh." Alec laughed, and looped his arm around Magnus' torso, tugging him closer, and pressed a kiss to the side of his face. Magnus wrinkled his nose at the slightly ticklish sensation. "No, I can appreciate the humour in it. Although..." He fished something out of the bottom of the bag, scanned down it, then tossed it in the next bin as they walked past. "I'm not going to be needing his number any time soon."

Magnus smiled, and leant into Alec, feeling immeasurably contented. "I'm glad."

"Where'd you want to go now?" Alec asked him.

"Hmmm." Magnus thought for a moment, chewing a mouthful of burger. "London Pride festival."

He felt Alec stare at him, and grinned. He knew that that probably wasn't what Alec had meant, but it was true nonetheless.

"Okay," Alec said slowly. "Why London Pride, out of everywhere in the world?"

Magnus smiled nostalgically. "Have you ever been to a Pride celebration?"

Alec shook his head. "Closeted, remember?"

Magnus shrugged. "Plenty of closeted people go to Pride. Will and Jem took me, and one of my friends, called Emma, the summer two years before, and the summer juse before, we moved here. It's always the last weekend of June. And it was..." Magnus sighed. "It was amazing, Alec. The atmosphere, the people, the performances in Trafalgar Square and the speeches and all of it, it was incredible." He laughed suddenly as memories assaulted him. "Will and Jem made out, and everyone cheered them. Me included. It's the only time I'm ever going to approve of my parents doing vile things in my presence."

Alec laughed too, at that. "It sounds fun."

"Oh, it was. It's a rush." He tilted his head up so he could look at Alec properly. "We could go. To a Pride event."

Alec seemed to think about it for a moment, and then he nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, we could." He smiled. "I'd like that."

"Can we be the couple that make out and everybody cheers?" Magnus asked hopefully, only half joking.

Alec shrugged, a smile on his lips. "Maybe. You said it was a rush. I might get brave and lose some inhibitions."

"No pressure," Magnus said, seriously this time. "Pride is supposed to be fun."

"I know." Alec bent to kiss him. "But I wasn't kidding."

"You're teasing me."

Alec's eyes twinkled. "Maybe."

Magnus huffed. "I hate you."

"I don't believe you," Alec replied easily. "Come on, we can go to Central Park and send Jace pictures of ducks to psychologically traumatise him."

Magnus choked as he slurped on his coke. "What?"

Alec grinned. "Oh, Jace is terrified of ducks. It's hilarious. Look, let's send him a photo and you'll see..."


	20. Who's The Best Boyfriend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything's happy and nothing hurts. Except maybe Jace's ego.

**Prompt: in which your character has a life realisation while listening to Taylor Swift**

 

*******

 

_One look, dark room_   
_Meant just for you_   
_Time moved too fast_   
_You play it back_   
_Buttons on a coat_   
_Lighthearted joke_   
_No proof, not much_   
_But you saw enough_   
_Small talk, he drives_   
_Coffee at midnight_   
_The light reflects_   
_The chain on your neck_   
_He says, "Look up."_   
_And your shoulders brush_   
_No proof, one touch_   
_But you felt enough_

Magnus hummed along softly to the music drifting soothingly from his iPod dock, shuffling around in the kitchen as he made himself coffee. Will and Jem were both still at work, and Alec had needed to go home after school to look after his little brother as his parents were out of town, so the house was quiet.

Well. Quiet except for the sounds of Alec ranting about how sick he was of his parents coming from Magnus' phone, which he'd put on speaker ten minutes ago when Alec had called and sounded like he really, really needed to get something off his chest. Magnus had told him that he was all ears.

"I'm sorry," Alec said, his voice sounding a little distorted but absolutely and instantly recognisable over the phone. "I didn't mean to rant at you."

Magnus shook his head even though Alec couldn't see him. "Rant away, my darling. It's not healthy to bottle things up."

Alec chuckled. "You sound like Izzy. She was always telling me I needed to stop being so freaking repressed."

"You, repressed?" Magnus teased him. "Surely not."

"Shut up," Alec grumbled, before promptly starting on a truly spectacular coughing fit. Magnus paused in stirring his coffee to shoot his phone a concerned look.

"Are you alright?" Magnus asked.

"Fine," Alec gasped. "Sorry. I—"

"Stop talking, Alexander, and get something to drink."

There was shuffling on the other end, and then the sound of a tap running. Magnus waited, taking his coffee and phone back upstairs to his bedroom. He set his phone on his bedside table and took a sip of his coffee.

"Shut up, Jace!" he heard Alec shout. "Nobody cares!"

Magnus' lips twitched up. "Better now?"

"Yes," Alec said, sounding grim, "but I have to go, because Jace needs to be proven wrong before his ego is even more overinflated. I'll call you later. If you're not busy." Alec sounded suddenly shy, and it made Magnus want to kiss him right where those tiny little crinkles by his eyes appeared whenever he smiled too widely.

"I'm never too busy for you," Magnus said, because it was true.

There was a pause. Magnus could practically feel Alec's blush through the phone.

"Right. Okay. Um. I'll talk to you...later, then. I– Yeah." He cleared his throat. Magnus was grinning. "Goodbye, Magnus."

"Goodbye, Alexander."

When he hung up, the song that had been playing on the radio again was just coming to its end. Magnus put his phone back down and stretched out to hear Taylor Swift's last few words.

 _You can hear it in the silence, silence_  
_You can feel it on the way home, way home_  
_You could see it with the lights out, lights out_  
_You are in love, true love_  
_You are in love_

He was, Magnus realised. He was in love. Wholly, stupidly, irrevocably in love. Alec had become one of the most important things in his life in such a short space of time, and the thought of letting him go was terrifying.

But more importantly, being with Alec, spending time with Alec, kissing Alec hello after days of not seeing each other—it made Magnus' heart thud and soar in the best way possible. He hadn't imagined it was possible to feel this way about someone. Alec drew his focus, constantly. He was always aware of Alec's presence. Too aware, sometimes. And they just understood each other, easily, without having to dig too deep.

Being with Alec was easy, and comfortable, and exhilarating. Not without its difficulties, of course - they had to hide from Alec's parents, and even after months of dating, and even longer being friends, Magnus hadn't let Alec set more than a wandering hand halfway up his shirt. Alec hadn't pushed, hadn't pressed, hadn't really even asked, seeming to understand the reason for Magnus' boundaries without having to discuss it. Not that Magnus would have refused to tell him if he did ask, of course.

That was the other thing that Magnus couldn't find with anyone back in Indonesia, or with many people in London. He could be open with Alec. He could tell him anything. He could be as honest as it was possible to be, without worrying about Alec judging him for it.

Besides which, of course, Alec was drop-dead gorgeous, incredibly sweet, occasionally so sassy it made Magnus' heart race with adoration, and had a protective streak a mile wide.

So, really, was it any wonder that Magnus was in love with him?

Problem was, he didn't have a clue how to tell him.

***

**[From: Isabelle at 19:56]**

**My brother just vehemently proclaimed that you're the best boyfriend ever**

Magnus stared at the text, reading it three time before he replied.

**[From: Magnus at 19:59]**

**What?**

His phone buzzed after a minute or so.

**[From: Isabelle at 20:01]**

**Jace was strutting around claiming that he was the world's best boyfriend because he's found such a perfect place to take Clary on a date. Alec called bull and started listing his flaws (it was v sassy, slightly alpha male, you'd have swooned) so Jace was being all sulky and was like, "I suppose you're the best boyfriend known to man, then?" He was so offended, it was awesome. But anyway, Alec said no, obviously that title goes to you. Then he went really red, reverted back to normal, shy Alec, and went upstairs to do """homework"""**

Magnus' lips curled gradually further upwards as he read, grinning fondly at Isabelle's last sentence. Alec really thought that? Enough to use it against Jace in an argument? Magnus' heart warmed at the thought.

**[From: Magnus at 20:03]**

**You mean you didn't video this for me?**

**[From: Isabelle at 20:03]**

**I didn't know the punchline would be that great.**

**[From: Magnus at 20:03]**

**Shame :( Excuse me while I embarrass my boyfriend**

**[From: Isabelle at 20:04]**

**Please do ;)**

Magnus scrolled through his contacts list to Alec's name, and hit call, wondering whether Alec would even pick up after he'd embarrassed himself. (Not that Magnus thought it was anything to be embarrassed over, at all.) He had a habit of closing himself off to human contact, after those sorts off incidents.

"Hey, Magnus." Alec sounded nervous.

"Hey." Magnus smiled involuntarily. "Wanna know what I found out just now?"

"What?"

"That it is actually, humanly possible that my boyfriend is even more adorable and sweet and gorgeous than I thought he was."

There was a beat of silence. Then: "Isabelle told you. Of course."

Magnus laughed at how grumpy and betrayed Alec sounded. "She did, sweetheart."

"Oh my god."

Magnus didn't have to be able to see Alec to know that he was blushing, probably with a hand over his face, absolutely mortified. He wanted to pry that hand away and pepper kisses across every goddamn millimetre of Alec's face.

"Jace was just being so conceited," Alec said suddenly. "And I love him, really, I do, but if his head gets any bigger I'll just have to punch him in the face to make his stupid nose crooked or something, because he'll be absolutely intolerable."

Oh, distance was a terrible thing.

"I understand," Magnus assured him. "I have plenty of bright and-or neon hair dye that you could put in his shampoo, if you were looking for something less drastic."

Alec barked out one of those short, surprised laughs of his. "That's not a bad idea. He loves his hair far too much."

"I love my hair," Magnus pointed out.

"You have reason to love your hair," Alec muttered. "He just rolls out of bed and expects people to be impressed."

"Hm. Well, if it's any consolation, I'm far more impressed by your just-rolled-out-of-bed look than Jace's."

Alec spluttered. "I don't expect people to be impressed when I put in no effort. And I do brush my hair."

"Sometimes," Magnus said.

"Sometimes," Alec agreed. "But that's not the point."

"I know. The point is your brother is a conceited arsehole and needs to be taken down a peg sometimes, but you love him anyway."

"Yeah." Alec laughed, sounding embarrassed. "Hey, are you busy Saturday?"

"Nope." Magnus glanced at the time, wondering when Will and Jem would get home. "Why?"

"Do you want to go to that Chinese place that opened up the other week? Do you know the one I mean?"

"I'd love to," Magnus told him. Magnus had a weakness for Chinese food that was second only to his weakness for mango sticky rice, and Alec knew it. Which was why it seemed so odd that Alec sounded so uncertain. "But it might be busy."

"I, ah, actually already made reservations."

Oh. That was why he was worried. Because he'd assumed that Magnus would of say yes. It was still ridiculous, of course—Alec knew how much he liked Chinese food, and, besides which, Magnus would have happily played baseball if it meant getting to spend time with Alec in a romantic setting. Well. Okay. Possibly not play baseball. Baseball was not especially romantic. Unless Alec played baseball, and Magnus watched, and got to kiss him at the end of the match, all hot and flushed and sweaty...

"I knew there was a reason I love you," Magnus said, and then froze, because apparently thinking about a sweaty Alec had made his brain-to-mouth filter disappear, and now he was the one who'd embarrassed himself, because shit, crap, fuck it all, he had not meant to tell Alec he loved him like that. Certainly not over the phone, for god's sake. What was he thinking?

Alec had been silent for what felt like hours, and Magnus started to panic. What if he'd just royally fucked everything up by saying that prematurely? He'd meant to think about how he was going to say it, and at the very least, tell Alec face-to-face, and—

"I'm sorry," he said, before he could freak himself out any more. "Alec, I—"

"I love you too," Alec said, softly. "I love you, Magnus."

Magnus exhaled. "Really?"

"Well, I'm not going to say it if I don't mean it, am I? Yes, really. How could I not? You're- you're _you_."

With a smile of relief, Magnus said, "I really want to kiss you."

"Me too."

The sound of the front door opening and Jem calling up the stairs made Magnus jump.

"I should go," he said, though he didn't want to. "Jem just got home."

"Alright. Goodnight, Magnus."

"Goodnight. I love you, Alec."

"I love you too."

***

When Magnus spotted Alec in the parking lot the following morning, he wasted no time grabbing his hand and dragging him into a more secluded spot—to the side of the music and drama building, on the grassy area where they'd first kissed.

"Hi," Alec said, smiling down at Magnus.

"Hi, yourself."

God, that smile. That smile did things to him. Magnus loved this boy. Loved him so, unbelievably much, and he just wanted to kiss him and hug him and watch him laugh, forever and ever.

"Magnus," Alec began, his smile dropping away to be replaced with someone more serious, "about last night..."

"I meant it," Magnus said quickly. "Really, I meant it."

"I know." Alec lifted his hand to cup Magnus' cheek in his palm, and Magnus leant into his touch, letting his eyes close for a moment. "I just wanted to say it and be able to look at you."

Magnus' heart ached and clenched and thudded, stomach twisting in the best way possible. He opened his eyes, and found Alec gazing at him with those enchanting blue eyes of his. What had he done to deserve someone like Alec in his life? Who did he have to thank for this angel?

"I love you," Alec whispered, lips tilting upwards in a crooked little smile. "I love you, Magnus Bane, and I'm not ashamed of it."

Magnus couldn't help the smile that spread across his face in response. "I love you too, Alexander. More than I know how to express."

"So don't," Alec said. "Show me."

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's neck, sealing their lips together without hesitation. He had to reach up on his toes to reach, and Alec had to bend his head a little, but Alec held him up with his arms around Magnus' waist, and the strain in his calves would have been worth it, anyway, because there was no way he could have kept these feelings to himself any longer. He'd have burst.

"I love you," Magnus mumbled, Alec's fingers rubbing soft circles into the skin at his waistline. "I love you."

"I love you too," Alec said against the corner of Magnus' mouth, lips dragging tantalisingly over his skin. Magnus shivered, clutching him tighter. "God– _Magnus_."

Magnus kissed him again, harder, craning up to kiss him deeper, because the feeling of Alec's lips against his was addictive, and so, so good, and he wanted to stay in the circle of his boyfriend's arms, kissing the very breath out of him, forever.

"You're so beautiful," Magnus whispered, once they'd parted. "What can I do to make you understand?"

The way Alec looked at him was so soft, Magnus had to grip him harder to stop himself swaying at the way his chest tightened.

"I think maybe I'm beginning to," Alec said, and Magnus thought it might be the first time that Alec had admitted his own insecurities about himself, physically, in such a direct manner. "Or, at least, that the way you look at me is the most important thing. And that you look at me like I'm beautiful."

"You need to believe it," Magnus murmured, brushing a thumb across his lips. Alec kissed his thumb, chastely; Magnus' heart broke.

"Sometimes I do," Alec said. "Especially when you're looking at me."

And that- that, right there, made Magnus melt. Alec Lightwood was going to give him heart failure one day, with all his incredibly sweet wonderful words, because they were always so honest, and so utterly without guile.

"Then I'll keep looking at you," Magnus said. "Do you believe it now?"

Alec hesitated for a moment, and then he nodded. "But I'm more preoccupied by you telling me you love me."

Magnus smiled at him. "So much."

Alec laughed a little, and leant forwards until his forehead touched Magnus'. "If you keep saying things like that, we're never getting to class."

"Well," Magnus said, lips twitching up, "wouldn't that just be tragic?"

For the first time in his life, Alec skipped class. He couldn't have been happier.


	21. Lightwoods Stand Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's an asshole, but Lightwoods support each other.

**Prompt: in which he is discriminated against in school**

 

*******

 

Magnus was rambling as they walked into school early that morning, waving his hand and gesturing expressively as he told Alec all about some extravagant tale from his time in foster care in London involving a boy called Imansu, bright orange hair dye, and the worst foster parents in the word.

His other hand was clasped in Alec's, swinging backwards and forwards loosely while they walked. Alec smiled, just because hearing Magnus like this always made him smile. He leant into Magnus' side a little, and subtly flashed Jace his middle finger when his brother made a gagging motion. Clary elbowed him in the ribs, hard. Alec remembered why he loved her so much.

"Where's Simon?" Isabelle asked Clary suddenly.

Clary shrugged. "No idea."

Isabelle narrowed her eyes. "He's keeping secrets."

"Yeah." Clary smiled. "Yeah, he is."

"It's a girl," Isabelle declared. "It is obviously and clearly a girl."

"Unless," Jace said, sounding far too reasonable, "it's a boy."

Isabelle paused. "When did you get so...not heteronormative?"

"Don't complain," Clary told her. "It's taken me months to beat it out of him."

Isabelle raised her eyebrows. "Beat?"

"I don't want to know," Alec said hurriedly, upon seeing the wicked glint in both Jace and Clary's eyes. "I absolutely do not want to know. Now please go away so I can actually get to my locker."

It took a few minutes, but eventually his siblings dispersed off, Isabelle making some vague comment about going to find someone, Clary and Jace clearly disappearing for a quick smooch before class.

Magnus hummed softly beside him as Alec exchanged his books for the ones he'd need in the morning, fingers playing with the rings on his fingers. It was distracting. It made Alec want to kiss him.

"Alec?"

"Yeah?" Alec glanced back at him as he slammed his locker shut and twisted the catch.

"I need to go to the library real quick. I'll see you in chemistry."

Alec nodded. "Alright. I'll try not to blow anything up while you're gone."

Magnus smiled, fingers wrapping around Alec's wrist, causing a shiver to go up Alec's spine. "I have faith in you, darling.

Alec tipped his head down and stole a kiss, chaste but lingering. He didn't care that people were around, or that they'd judge him for it—he just couldn't find it in himself to give a shit any more. He was sick and tired of hiding who he was from everyone.

"Alexander," Magnus said, eyes shining. "What on earth was that?"

Alec kissed him again.

"A kiss," he said. "Because I love you and I wanted to, and if Jace and Clary can do it, why shouldn't we be allowed to?"

Magnus' smile widened. "I love you too."

***

By the time lunch rolled around, Alec's good mood had dissipated. He'd been given more homework in a single morning than he usually got in a week, and people had seen him kissing Magnus, so, naturally, they were making comments. He chose to ignore them.

He yanked open his locker, wondering absently whether Magnus would fancy getting the fuck out of school for forty minutes and getting lunch elsewhere. Because frankly, if he had to spend another minute in this place he'd most likely go insane.

A streak of stark black marker on the inside of his locker door caught his attention. Alec turned and tilted his head sideways when he realised that it was a crudely drawn picture of a finished hangman game. The man was fully hanged, and the words below said:

_Fags like you_

Alec stared at his locker door for a long, long moment, an icy chill spreading through him. What the hell? Was that a fucking death threat? Just because he'd kissed Magnus? Were people really that close-minded?

He shook his head, making a mental note to get something tomorrow to wipe that crap off, and began to pull out his things when he felt a warm, familiar hand on the small of his back. On reflex, he flinched, jerking away from the touch, then twisted round with wide eyes when he realised what he'd done.

"I'm sorry," Alec blurted out to Magnus, who just looked incredibly confused. "Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay." Magnus blinked glitter-rimmed eyes at him, before they fixed over his shoulder. His expression darkened. "Alec, what in the name of God—"

"I don't know," Alec muttered. "I don't know who did it, and I don't care. I'll get rid of it and that's the end, okay? I'm not making this into a big deal."

Magnus gritted his teeth. "It's a big deal to me. Whoever did that can't just get away with slandering you like that. It's disgusting. The school should have policies in place for hate crimes like this."

"But they don't."

"No, because shock-horror, you're _gay_!" Magnus' eyes flashed furiously. "You might be dangerous, can't afford protection to you."

Alec reached out to put his hand on Magnus' forearm. "Magnus. Calm down."

"No! There's no way I'm going to just stand here while someone in this school has gone to the trouble of putting something so inhumane on your locker."

"Please, Magnus." Alec reached his other hand up to Magnus' cheek. "Stop. I know, I know, it's horrible, and it has to stop, but I don't want to fight this battle. I can't fight this battle. Not right now, okay? I don't want my parents to have to get involved."

Magnus' entire body softened, and then slumped. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, no." Alec titled his chin up. "No, none of that. Thank you for defending me."

Magnus cracked a smile. "Any time."

A shout down the corridor broke them out of their staring. Sliding with his hand into Magnus', Alec turned towards the noise, and realised that it was Isabelle, shouting to a boy down the other end of the corridor. Sebastian stood with his arms folded, smirking at her. Alec wanted to punch him in the face for ever looking at his sister like that. Nobody got to look at Izzy like that.

"You're a fucking asshole, Sebastian Verlac. You know that?" Isabelle was hollering. "You're disgusting!"

"Oh, what?" Sebastian spread his hands. "Because it's true? Everyone knows, Lightwood. Your brother is a fag."

"My brother is gay," Isabelle ground out. "That doesn't give you the right to get your imbecilic friends to write demeaning slurs."

So Sebastian was behind what was in his locker. Huh. Not really surprising.

Sebastian folded his arms across his chest, rolling his eyes a little as though Isabelle bored him. "You're messing with the wrong crowd, bitch."

Isabelle's nostrils flared. Alec tensed, rage flooding through him. Nobody - nobody on the fucking planet - got to call Isabelle a bitch and live to tell the tale.

"Shut the hell up," Alec spat, before he could reel in the words. "Leave her alone."

Magnus ran circles into the back of his hand; Alec had a feeling the touch was the only thing tethering him to his sanity. He wanted to run at Sebastian and kill him for the things he was saying to his baby sister.

"Look at this," Sebastian mocked, am amused smirk playing on the corners of his lips. "Lightwoods defend each other. Where's golden boy, in all of this? Or is he not Lightwood enough to want to defend against something so unnatural?"

Magnus stiffened beside him, and, from the corner of his eye, Alec could see the expression on Magnus' face: murderous. He looked like he wanted to rip Sebastian limb from limb just as much as Alec did, and get he was standing there grounding Alec.

"Lightwoods stand together," Isabelle stated cooly, flicking her long dark hair back from her face. "So I'd watch your back, if I were you. There are a lot of us, and none of us like you very much."

She turned on her heel, clearly finished with the argument. Alec wanted to hug her for what she'd said, and what she'd done in standing up to Sebastian, but he also wanted to shake her for being reckless. Sebastian was dangerous. He was creepy as fuck, and if he really wanted to, Alec had no trouble believing that he, with Camille, could ruin a person.

But Sebastian wasn't done. He had to have the last word.

"He's a faggot, Isabelle!" he called. Isabelle stopped dead, but didn't turn around. "He's deceiving you! There's no reason to support something like this!"

Isabelle turned her head just enough to look at him him pure, unadulterated contempt, the likes of which Alec had never before seen on her face.

Then, quite without warning, she strutted forward, head held high, stopped in front of Lydia Branwell, grabbed her by the front of her blouse, and kissed her, full on the mouth.

Alec gaped as Lydia seemed to unfreeze, and wound her arms around Isabelle's waist, tugging her closer. That looked practised. No, no, that wasn't the right word—it looked familiar. Like they'd done it before.

And, all at once, so very many things slotted into place in Alec's mind.

He smiled widely at Isabelle as she dipped Lydia backwards a little, to hoots and cheers from most of the assembled crowd. Himself and Magnus included. When they broke apart, they were laughing, eyes soft, and Alec neither knew nor cared what had happened to Sebastian. He could go and rot in hell, for all Alec cared. But his sister was dating Lydia, apparently, and she'd just kissed Lydia in the middle of the hallway to prove a point.

And boy, had she proven it. Alec loved Isabelle impossibly more for it.

***

"Well," Lydia whispered, arms still around Isabelle's neck, people still clapping around them. "That was unexpected."

Isabelle grinned bashfully. "Sorry for grabbing you."

Lydia smiled back at her, one of those beautiful smiles that showed all her teeth and made Isabelle want to smother her with kisses.

"No need to apologise," Lydia said. "That was some statement, Isabelle."

Isabelle bit her lip, and glanced over at her brother. Alec was leaning into Magnus, a smile on his face as he watched her and Lydia. She flushed a little. Her big brother finding out that she was attracted to girls, and dating Lydia, was not meant to happen like this.

But, hey, what could she do?

"You should talk to him," Lydia said, following her gaze. "I know how much you love him."

Isabelle nodded her agreement. "You're right. But you should come with me."

Uncertainty flashed across Lydia's face. "Wait—"

"Oh, come on." She grabbed Lydia's hand and began to drag her across the room. "Magnus and you are like, bi pride buddies, and Alec likes you, so stop looking so nervous. You're older than them. Just boss them around like you do everyone else if they're rude to you. Which they won't be, because they're lovely. Even Alec. Underneath."

Lydia shook her head. "Firstly, I know they're lovely. And secondly, I do not boss people around."

"You do," Isabelle told her. "But it's fine."

Alec and Magnus both smiled as the pair reached them, and Alec wasted no time wrapping her up in a tight, warm hug that smelt of home and comfort and childhood. She felt safer in Alec's arms than she did anywhere else in the universe.

"You could have told me," he murmured.

"I know." She kissed his cheek. "I wasn't sure what to tell you. I don't like labels."

Alec smiled as he let her go. "No. No, you don't." He glanced across at Lydia. "Just because you're a girl doesn't mean I won't give you the if-you-break-her-I'll-hurt-you speech. Except she's capable of hurting you herself, so I should be saying that I'll allow her and encourage her to do it if you hurt her."

Lydia looked worried for a moment. Then Alec smiled, just a little, and she let out a relieved laugh.

"Deal," Lydia said, glancing over at Isabelle. "I'll try my best."

"You better," Magnus said, eyes twinkling. "I will not hold my boyfriend's protective streak back if you harm my second-favourite Lightwood."

Lydia rolled her eyes at Magnus, clearly used to his antics. Isabelle squeezed her hand; Lydia squeezed back.

"I won't," she reaffirmed. "I will do everything in my power not to hurt her."

And, for some reason, Isabelle believed her.


	22. Brotherly Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace takes Alec to a club. Things happen. Fluff galore, as per usual.

**Prompt: in which your character accidentally visits a gay club**

 

*******

 

  
 _It'll be fine_ , Jace had said. _Come on, Alec,_ he'd huffed, _stop being such a prude. It's a right of passage. Everyone has to do it once. What can go wrong?_

Alec had been doubtful anyway. When Jace had told him that they were going to a gay club at the weekend, just the two of them, no arguments allowed, Alec had protested. They were underage—how would they even get into a club at seventeen

"I know people," Jace said airily. Alec decided he didn't want to know what people, or how Jace knew them, or what sort of minor illegal misdemeanours Jace was getting into. That probably made him a irresponsible brother, but couldn't find it in himself to care.

He'd fought tooth and nail. But Jace hadn't been having any of it. He was taking his reclusive brother to a club to get drunk, dance, and have fun for once in his life (Jace's words, not Alec's) and that was that.

So he'd gone to his wonderful, kind, caring boyfriend, hoping that Magnus would get him out of this decidedly sticky situation. Or, rather, he'd grabbed Magnus' arms outside Starbucks and begged his boyfriend to go with them, so he didn't have to deal with it on his own.

Magnus had smirked. "Jace wants to take you to a gay club? Well. Someone's exploring their sexuality. You should be supportive. As long as you don't get drunk and start kissing pretty men, I don't see any problem with this."

"We're going to have to use fake IDs," Alec hissed. "And can you imagine what my parents will say if they ever find out?"

"They're in Chicago," Magnus had pointed out. "I suspect Jace will keep this secret for you."

"Please," Alec begged him. Maybe he could bribe Magnus with a grande vanilla bean macchiato... "Please come with us."

"Brotherly bonding, sweetheart. It'll be fine. You'll enjoy it."

Alec frowned at him. "How do you know?"

"You know you can drink in England when you're sixteen? If someone over eighteen buys it for you? Some clubs only have a sixteen age entry requirement."

Alec sighed. "Sweaty drunk people grinding obscenely on a dance floor, Jace making an ass out of himself, and watching people hit on each other. Fun. Really sounds like my idea of a great time."

Magnus had looked a little sympathetic, twisting the fingers of their hands together. "Jace is just trying to be a good brother-come-best-friend to you, you know that. He'd just not quite as adept at seeing what people would actually enjoy as you are. But really, if you hate it too much, just leave."

So Magnus hadn't much helped Alec in his ploy to escape from Jace's terrible, terrible plan. It would go wrong. Something would go wrong. He just knew it.

Which was how he found himself sitting at the bar, definitely a little bit drunk, halfway through another bottle of beer, watching Jace (who'd had about six beers and eight shots) try to hit on a group of young women who were very loudly trying to tell him that they were lesbians, stifling their laughter as he made a complete fool out of himself.

"I've never actually kissed a guy," one of them mused, while Alec kept his head down, cringing, in an attempt to pretend that he didn't know Jace.

One of the other women, who reminded Alec oddly of Aminita from Sense 8, turned to her and raised a pierced eyebrow. "Never?"

"Nope."

Alec turned his attention away from the group before Jace could embarrass him any more. Not that the women were paying any attention to him whatsoever—they were too busy laughing at how utterly ridiculous Jace was being.

The strobe lighting coming from the dance floor was beginning to make Alec feel light-headed. His clothes stuck to his body, sweat beading on the nape of his neck and his forehead, and the overwhelming stench of alcohol and body odour wasn't altogether pleasant.

"Well," said an amused voice to Alec's left. "Someone decided to go to the wrong bar."

Alec turned his head to the side too quickly, and the room span a little. Okay. Possibly, it wasn't a good idea to drink this much his first night out drinking. Possibly this had all been a very bad idea. Possibly he would have to scream 'I told you so!' at Jace in the morning.

"Uh." Alec cleared his throat. "Yeah."

The man beside him looked about twenty-five, although he could have been younger—the stubble across his jawline gave him a definite sense of maturity. He had a glass of what could have been absolutely anything in one hand, light blue in colour, and a lip ring that he was chewing on absently.

The man tapped his fingers against the bar. "I'm Raj."

"Alec."

Raj looked at him for a moment, then gave him a crooked smile and shouted to the bartender, asking for two more drinks. Alec stared at him when one was set down in front of him.

"On me," Raj said, and winked. "You look like you could do with another drink."

Alec picked the drink up robotically, because he didn't know what else to do. He was vaguely aware, in his drunken state, that Raj was flirting with him. Buying someone a drink in a club definitely constituted as flirting. And flirting was probably the first step to something more.

He should put his foot down. He just wasn't quite sure how to.

Hopefully, Alec glanced over at Jace in the hopes that he'd be able to offer Alec some help in his dilemma. Sadly, Jace had found himself a girl who was in the process of telling him that she was pansexual, and he looked exceedingly excited by this turn of events. He also looked exceedingly drunk. He wasn't going to be much help.

"Alec?"

Alec realised, with a start, that Raj had been talking. He blinked up at him from where he was slouched in his barstool, and Raj laughed, before sitting down and gesturing to the bartender again. This was probably the moment Alec should have protested, wasn't it? But how did he protest?

Thirty-five minutes later, Raj was in the process of buying him a forth drink, and Alec felt buzzed. Raj was funny. Raj was really funny. And he was pretty, and Alec thought he probably deserved a really, really nice boyfriend who'd hug him and laugh at his jokes and drink these disgusting drinks he kept buying. But Alec couldn't do that, because he had Magnus.

Magnus.

He pulled out his phone, even though Raj was in the middle of talking about something. Alec didn't want to be rude, but he'd forgotten all about Magnus for hours, and Magnus was really, really pretty, and really, really nice.

**[From: Alec at 22:36]**

**Heyyyyyy ur prety**

He stared at his phone, watching as it sent and then waiting pointedly for the three 'typing' dots to flash up to tell him that Magnus was going to reply.

**[From: Magnus at 22:38]**

**Are you drunk?**

**[From: Alec at 22:38]**   
**Nooooo**

**[From: Magnus at 22:38]**

**I'll take that as a yes. If I come and get you, will you start kicking and screaming?**

**[From: Alec at 22:39]**

**Ure coming? Here.**

**[From: Magnus at 22:39]**

**Yes. Give me twenty minutes.**

Alec pouted at his phone. Twenty minutes? Twenty minutes was far too long. How could he possibly wait a whole twenty minutes to see Magnus? He wanted to see Magnus now. His Magnus. Pretty, glittery Magnus, who was pretty and glittery even when he was sad. Alec didn't want Magnus to be sad. Not ever.

"Magnus is coming," Alec announced, because he felt like people should know. They had to be prepared for his boyfriend's awesomeness.

Raj looked at him, eyes just a little glazed. "Who's Magnus?"

Alec leant close to Raj and whispered lowly, as though confessing a secret, "The best person _ever_."

"Oh." Raj frowned. "Do you want another drink?"

***

Alec swore it had been hours and hours and days and weeks when, finally, he looked across the room and saw Magnus walking in, hair piled high and defying gravity, shimmering from head to toe, rips in his jeans.

"Magnus!" Alec said, jumping up out of his seat. He swayed where he stood as Magnus moved through the writhing, twisting crowd, apparently not seeing him. Alec shouted his name again, clutching onto the bar for support; this time, Magnus' gaze slid across to him.

Magnus pushed past a group of people lingering on the side of the dance floor, half dancing and half drinking, and mad his way towards Alec. He shook his head, and let out a sigh.

"Magnus!" Alec said, waving at him. "You're here!"

Magnus wrinkled his nose. "You're drunk. Where's that useless brother of yours? I bought Isabelle with me to take you two home."

Alec leant forwards and wrapped his arms around Magnus' waist. "Magnus."

Magnus quirked an eyebrow at him. "Alec."

"You're reeeeeeaaaaaally pretty."

Magnus huffed out a little laugh, and reached up to brush back a sweaty strand of Alec's hair. "Thank you, my darling."

"I'm sorry," a voice cut in, "but what exactly is going on here?"

Alec turned in Magnus' arms to face the voice. It was an annoying voice. It was interrupting Alec's time with Magnus. Oh. It was Raj. Raj was sort of nice. He'd bought Alec drinks, and he'd made Alec laugh. But Magnus was glaring at him.

"I'm taking my boyfriend home," Magnus said. "Okay with you?"

Raj held up his hands. "Chill. Didn't realise Alec had a boyfriend. I'm sorry, man. Nothing happened. I just bought him a few drinks."

"A few." Magnus rolled his eyes. "Yeah. A few. Sure." He exhaled. "Come on, darling. Let's find Jace and go."

"Magnus?" Alec whispered.

"Yes?"

"My Magnus," he said, and snuggled into his side.

Magnus' expression softened, and he carded his fingers through Alec's hair, and reached up to kiss his cheek. "Yes, sweetheart."

"I feel funny."

Magnus chuckled. "I bet you do. We'll find Jace, and then get you in bed to sleep this off."

"Jace was over there. He was flirting with lesbians. They were all laughing at him."

"Oh, really?" Magnus laughed. "That doesn't surprise me at all."

Magnus held tight onto him as he steered them through the crowd towards where Alec had last seen Jace. Jace, of course, wasn't there any longer, so they searched around the rest of the club. Well. Magnus searched. Alec clung on.

"Jace!" Magnus shouted over the blaring music. "We're leaving!"

Jace was giggling with someone. It was a girl. The same girl who'd been talking to him earlier. That was odd, Alec thought. Didn't girls usually get sick of Jace after five minutes if he didn't kiss them? Or maybe she was like Clary.

"I don't wanna go," Alec said into the crook of Magnus' neck. It was uncomfortable, because Magnus was four inches shorter than him, but Magnus was just so warm, and so comfy, and he smelt so good. "I wanna stay with you."

The arm Magnus had around his waist tightened. "You can stay with me. Your parents aren't home, right?"

"Nope. They're leaving us again. They left me to do their job. They're mean parents. I hate them." Alec frowned. Magnus kissed his cheek again. "Who's looking after Max?"

"He's staying with a friend for the night, remember?"

"Oh." He didn't. "Okay."

Magnus kissed his forehead. Alec didn't think Magnus had ever kissed him there before. Normally he was too tall. But like this he'd bent over, so Magnus could reach; it felt nice. Really nice.

"So I won't leave until you're asleep. You're my boyfriend, I'm supposed to take care of you."

"That's nice." Alec smiled at him. "You're nice. I love you."

"I love you too, darling. Now come on. Let's get you and your stupid brother home."

***

When Magnus stopped the car outside the Lightwood house, Jace had fallen asleep in the back seat, and Alec had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. Isabelle kicked Jace to wake him up. She was not impressed by her brothers' behaviour. Magnus had a feeling that she'd been doing unspeakable things with Lydia when he'd called to ask her to help him get Jace and Alec home, following Alec's drunken text.

"Hey." Magnus nudged Alec gently. "Wake up, Alexander. You're home."

"Mmph."

Magnus smiled, and shook Alec a little more firmly. "You have to get out of the car, darling."

"Don't wanna. Don't wanna leave you. You'll leave. You'll leave and I won't even know you're leaving. That's mean."

It took Magnus several moments to realise that Alec meant he'd leave once Alec was asleep. He shook his head fondly, and stuck his head out the window to where Isabelle was waiting on the front porch, arms folded, tapping her toe impatiently.

"Can I bring Alec back to you tomorrow?" Magnus asked. "He doesn't seem to want to get out."

"Please be my guest. Dealing with one drunk brother is more than enough for me, thank you."

**[From: Magnus at 23:31]**

**If you come home tomorrow and wonder why my boyfriend is sleeping in the house, he didn't break in, I have him permission to be there. Nothing dangerous has happened. Or sexual, before Will asks. See you tomorrow xx**

He set his phone down as he finished sending his text to Jem, who most probably was out having sex with Will in a hotel room (he shuddered at the thought) and began to pull out of the driveway, waving goodbye to Isabelle.

***

By the time Magnus parked in his own driveway, Alec had fallen asleep again. This time, it only took Magnus sweeping his hair back off his forehead to wake him up. He stirred, made an adorable little sleepy noise in the back of his throat, and blinked his eyes open.

"Come on," Magnus said softly. "Let's get you sorted out."

Alec didn't protest. He seemed to be crashing, now. He looked slightly ill, and utterly exhausted. Magnus hooked an arm around his waist, because he didn't particularly want Alec to fall over and get a concussion, and unlocked the front door. Alec stumbled as he went over the threshold, but, to Magnus' relief, he caught himself on the wall.

"Upstairs," Magnus said, turning him straight towards the staircase. "You need to sleep."

He deposited Alec gently on his bed, and then bent down to unlace his combat boots and take off his socks. He then stood up and rummaged through his wardrobe in an attempt to find something big enough to fit Alec. Eventually, he found an old t-shirt that he was fairly sure had been Will's a long time ago, and a pair of sweatpants that were far too big, and that he only wore when he was sick or feeling particularly lazy.

"Here. Get undressed, and put these on. If you fall asleep I'm going to wake you up again. So don't. Okay?"

Alec nodded. "Can I have a kiss?"

Magnus rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway. Alec was far too adorable. He bent over and pressed a swift kiss to Alec's lips, before pulling away.

"I'll be right back," he whispered.

Ten minutes later, he'd changed into his pyjamas, brushed his teeth, taken off his make-up, and armed himself with a large glass of water and some aspirin. He knocked on his bedroom door before he walked in.

"Are you decent?" Magnus asked. "Can I come in?"

"Yup."

Magnus pushed open the door, and felt a rush of warmth when he saw Alec sat atop his bed, cross-legged, wearing his clothes.

"Here," he said, extending the painkillers and water to his boyfriend. Alec took them obediently, and drained the entire glass of water, before looking up at Magnus expectantly, as though Magnus could answer every question ever asked in the universe.

"Can I sleep now?" Alec asked eventually.

"Yes, darling."

"Will you stay?" He patted the space in the bed next to him. "Please stay. Please. Please please _please_."

Magnus smiled. "Alright. I'll stay. Scoot over, and get under the duvet. If you hog my duvet, by the way, I will literally kick you out of the bed. Forcefully. You will have bruises. So don't hog my duvet."

Alec frowned as he crawled under. "Don't kick me."

Magnus huffed out a laugh, and stroked a hand through Alec's hair. "Oh, my darling. It's okay. Don't worry about a thing. Just go to sleep."

"Hmmm."

Alec exhaled, and then curled up against Magnus as though he was the smaller one of the two. Magnus chuckled a little, and wrapped his arms around him. Really, it wasn't so bad, this sleeping arrangement. In fact, it was very comfortable, and very warm, and Alec—

"I love you," he mumbled into Magnus' shoulder. "Lots. And lots."

Magnus kissed the top of his head, then nestled further into their comfortable duvet cocoon, and into Alec's arms.

"I love you too, Alexander."

***

Upon waking the following morning, Alec found that Magnus was already awake, tracing soft, mindless pattern across his arms, a smile on his face. The smile grew when Alec opened his eyes—

And then promptly groaned, because it was too bright, and everything hurt, and his mouth tasted like a small rodent had curled up and died in it.

"How much does your pretty little head hurt?" Magnus whispered.

Even that was agonising. And Magnus' voice was wonderful.

"A lot," Alec said. And what kind of messed up shit was this, that the sound of not just his boyfriend but also _himself_ speaking was excruciatingly painful? He was never getting drunk again. Not ever. Not for as long as he lived. If was worth this.

Not that he really knew how he'd gotten drunk, in the first place. He'd been tipsy, but still aware, and then Raj had kept giving him drinks, and—

"Shit. I'm sorry," Alec said. "About that guy. Raj. Well, about all of last night, actually."

Magnus smiled, and kissed his temple oh-so-softly. "Don't worry about it, darling. There's water and painkillers on the table behind you."

Alec exhaled in relief as he twisted to see that, yes, there were both those things.

"You're an angel," Alec said with a sigh, curling back into Magnus' arms because he couldn't quite bring himself to leave their nest of warmth and comfort, even if his head did hurt like a fucker.

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Magnus said, his fingers going back to tracing those random patterns. "And just so you know, Will and Jem aren't home yet. So your dignity has been saved."

Alec sighed. "Yay. What about my hangover?"

"More difficult, I think. Though I've never actually been that hungover, so I wouldn't know." He paused. "How do pancakes sound? Or are you going to throw up?"

"Hmm." Alec debated for a moment. "No. I think I'm good. Pancakes sound great."

Magnus kissed his cheek. "Coming right up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask me how Magnus got into the club. He just did. He's fabulous like that.


	23. Not Ready To Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon meets Raphael's mother, talks about Star Wars, and has a confession to make. Ragnor is a good friend.

**Prompt: in which your character confesses their undying love (and it is not reciprocated)**

 

*******

 

  
"—oh my god, I still get so excited about that. And that bit in _Revenge of the Sith_? At the end, with all the—"

Simon paused suddenly, realising that he hadn't heard a bored little huff or a vaguely amused 'dios' for at least five minutes. Alright, maybe getting overly excited about Star Wars to Raphael wasn't the best idea, but really, Raphael had asked him about his favourite film—what did he expect?

There had been lots of unexpected things today, though, even if Simon's Star Wars obsession wasn't one of them. Simon hadn't expected Raphael to invite him to his house, for starters. But Raphael had said that his mother had broached the subject of him being gay the previous night, and asked whether he was serious, or whether it was just a phase. Raphael had wanted to bring Simon home as his boyfriend to show her that he wasn't messing around.

Secondly, Simon hadn't expected to be fed so much goddamn food. He'd eaten it, because he'd felt like it was some kind of test that he was expected to pass, and he wanted to do the right thing. He wanted it to go well for Raphael, even if the continuous conversations in Spanish had slowly driven him insane over lunch.

Raphael's mother had smiled at him, a strange, tentative, but genuine little smile after one of their exceptionally long conversations in Spanish. Simon's Spanish knowledge was somewhat limited, but he'd said _graçias_ , and that had got him another one of those smiles.

Eventually, Raphael had dragged him upstairs and shown Simon his bedroom. It was almost exactly what Simon had expected—mostly plain, with light blue walls and a soft beige carpet, bookshelves filled with books, and a world map tacked on the wall with places circled in black marker pen. Apparently, they were all the places Raphael wanted to go. London, Sau Paulo, Los Angeles, Spain, El Salvador...

They'd been watching a film on Raphael's laptop for a while. Frankly, Simon had been (perhaps unfairly) surprised that Raphael was particularly into films. And then he'd got Simon talking about Star Wars, so he'd sighed loudly, stretched out, and rested his head in Simon's lap.

And now, clearly, he'd decided to fall asleep on Simon, while Simon was talking about the best Star Wars moments, and analysing why, exactly, they were so great.

Alright. Maybe not Raphael's cup of tea.

"Are you asleep?" Simon asked, hands fluttering a little. Where did he put his hands? He'd been waving them around until now, so it hadn't really mattered.

Raphael didn't stir.

"Raph. Raphael. Are you asleep? Or are you just pretending to be asleep so I'll shut up? Because you can just tell me to shut up, you know. People do it all the time. I'm sure I'll live with one more person telling me to—"

"Nobody should tell you to shut up, Simon," Raphael murmured, hands folded over his stomach. He didn't open his eyes. "Other people talk a lot of trash, too."

Simon frowned. "Are you saying I talk trash?"

"Yes," Raphael said. "Often. But you should not shut up. And people shouldn't tell you too. You don't always talk trash. Sometimes what you say is very insightful." Raphael's eyes flickered open, and curious expression etching itself onto his face. "Who tells you to shut up?"

Simon shrugged, eventually settling one hand on Raphael's forearm and the other gingerly in his hair. "People."

Raphael tilted his head into Simon's touch. "What people?"

"Jace." Simon laughed a little, and shook his head, running his fingers through Raphael's hair slowly. "I wasn't deadly serious, you know. I mean, when Clary first dragged me into friendship with the Lightwoods, I'm pretty sure they all hated me. But that was a long time ago. We're good now."

"Hm." Raphael blinked, and then picked up the hand Simon was resting on his forearm and kissed his fingers. "I hope so."

"Are you going protective boyfriend on me?" Simon teased him, smiling.

Raphael flushed, and looked determinedly away. "No."

"You're blushing. I don't believe you. You were totally going to swoop down like Spider-Man and be all, hey, assholes, leave my boyfriend alone!"

Raphael rolled his eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm as he said, "Of course I was."

"You were!"

" _Estúpido_ ," Raphael muttered.

" _No soy estupido_ ," Simon replied. "I am not stupid. I take offence to that implication."

Raphael sighed. "There was no implication, Simon, it was a statement."

"I still take offence."

Raphael laughed a little, and sat up with a grin. "You aren't entirely stupid," he said, cupping the length of Simon's cheek in his hand. "Sometimes you're exceptionally intelligent."

Simon turned his head and kissed Raphael's palm, and said teasingly, "You're lucky I love you."

Then he froze. Raphael froze. Their eyes went wide, and he stared at each other.

_Shit_.

"Simon..."

Raphael's voice trailed off; he dropped his hand away from Simon's face, and let out a sigh. Simon ducked his head, dropping his gaze awkwardly to his lap. Jesus Christ, why the hell had he said that? Couldn't he have just fucking kept it to himself? He'd decided not to tell Raphael any time soon, because quite clearly he had enough to be thinking about with his mother and his recent coming out.

He'd decided not to say anything to save Raphael the trouble of dealing with it. But he'd gone and screwed it up anyway. Screwed it up like he always did, because he was so useless he couldn't even avoid telling his boyfriend that he was in love with him for a few weeks.

How pathetic was he?

"I'm so sorry," Simon whispered after a moment, swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat. "I'm sorry, Raphael. I didn't– I wasn't going to say anything. I know you're not—"

"Is it true?" Raphael asked. "Do you love me?"

Simon looked up at him. "Yes."

Raphael exhaled. "I think you should go."

"What?" Simon's heart raced with panic. "What? What about your mom? What's she going to think if I just leave?"

"That you're going home."

"Raphael, please." Simon shook his head. "I realised how I felt about you weeks ago, this– it doesn't have to change anything between us. I don't expect you to say it back. I don't suddenly expect you to want to have sex with me, or stick a promise ring on my finger, or—"

"Simon." Raphael shook his head, avoiding Simon's gaze. "Please go."

Simon stood up off the bed, heart pounding, palms sweaty. He wasn't sure he could get all the way home without crying. His heart felt like it was about to implode in his chest—and not in the good way. In the Iron Man, I-have-deadly-debris-in-my-bloodstream kind of way.

"Is this it?" Simon asked, trying to keep his voice steady. "Are we done just because I love you and you don't love me back?"

Raphael shook his head. "We're done because you love me, and this isn't fair to you. I can't do this. I'm not– This isn't– I just can't, Simon. Okay?"

"Not really." Simon shook his head. "Not at all."

He slammed Raphael's bedroom door behind him, and darted out of the front door and down the porch steps to the road before Raphael's mother could try to talk to him. He didn't want to talk. He just wanted to cry.

So cry, he did.

***

With shaking hands, Raphael reached over to his nightstand and picked up his phone. It took him three goes to unlock it, and then he scrolled through his contacts like to the names under 'F'.

Simon was wrong. So very wrong. It wasn't because he didn't love Simon that he couldn't do this. It was precisely because he did. He loved Simon. But he wasn't _ready_ to be in love with Simon. He wasn't ready for being gay to be so serious. He still hadn't really worked out the whole asexuality thing, either. And, more importantly, he wasn't ready for someone to love him back, with all his flaws and imperfections and the emotional vulnerabilities he'd have to bar...

He just wasn't ready. He couldn't do it. Not when Simon had admitted that he loved him. Before, he'd been able to pretend that it wasn't going anywhere like that. He'd been able to say to himself that it was a high school relationship, and wouldn't force Raphael to be so emotionally honest with another person.

He couldn't pretend any more.

He found the name he was looking for, and, before he could overthink it, he tapped the name and hit call, pressing the phone to his ear while he waited for it to ring out.

After three rings, a gruff voice answered. "Raphael?"

"Ragnor." Raphael exhaled heavily. "I need your help. Or— Well. I could do with talking. To someone. To you."

Ragnor's voice was kinder, but no less gruff, when he replied. "I'm all ears."

"I broke up with Simon," Raphael said, wiping at his cheeks when he felt tears drop down his face. "And now I don't know what to do."

"Oh, Raphael." Ragnor sighed sympathetically. "Tell me what happened. Tell me exactly what happened."

So he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of short, but y'all seemed to be eager for some more Saphael, so here we go, pure Saphael angst! And a lil' bit of fluff. There will be more Saphael soon, I promise!


	24. Heartbreak, Friends, and Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is not in a good mood, Magnus does sometimes take things personally, and Max is confused.

**Prompt: in which your character is caught in a compromising position**

 

*******

 

  
Raphael was not in a good mood. He'd been even more miserable and snappy since he'd broken up with Simon. According to Ragnor, the whole thing was tragic and awful and poor Simon had no idea of Raphael's true reasoning behind breaking up with him. Which was especially unfair, Magnus thought, as Simon had been absolutely nothing but wonderful to Raphael.

Currently, the three of them were sat in Ragnor and Cat's living room, sprawled out on the floor. Ragnor had begged Magnus to come with him, because he'd been unsuccessful in his mission to make Raphael smile. Frankly, Magnus wasn't sure why he'd be able to help. The only person who seemed to be able to make Raphael smile, genuinely, was Simon.

"Do you two want a drink?" Magnus asked, picking himself off the floor and swiping up his empty plastic cup. "I'm thirsty."

"For your boyfriend?" Raphael asked bitingly, no humour in his voice. "Of course you are."

Magnus gaped at him.

"Raphael," Ragnor snapped. "Really? What's wrong with you?"

Magnus turned around, heading out towards the kitchen. He really didn't want to listen to his conversation. It was far too close to a variety of touchy subjects for him to feel comfortable discussing with anyone but Alec.

Raphael shrugged. "I'm sure you have sex at every opportunity."

Magnus dropped his cup on the floor. It bounced, rolling along the wooden veneer flooring and dripping the remains of Magnus' lemonade across the floor. Ragnor watched him, concern clear in his eyes. Raphael avoided his gaze. God, Magnus wanted to slap him.

"I don't care if you're broken-hearted, Raphael Santiago, but you don't get to judge my sex life based on the way I dress and behave. You don't get to judge my sex life at all. Understood? If I screwed Alec every day, twice a day, it would be none of your goddamn business."

Raphael shrugged. "It was just a comment."

Ragnor' brow furrowed in concern. "Raphael—"

"I thought you didn't take things personally, Magnus?" Raphael said, eyes blazing.

Bending to pick up his cup, Magnus replied, voice clipped, "That was a very personal suggestion."

"Because it's true."

"No!" Magnus snapped. "No, it's not! Contrary to what absolutely everyone in the world seems to think, I am a virgin! I have never fooled around with anyone! I have kissed people, and that's it. I'm sick of people assuming they know everything about me. They don't," he said savagely, whirling around before either of his friends could see tears forming in his eyes. He hated crying in front of other people. Hated it with a fucking passion.

Before Ragnor or Raphael could say anything else on the matter of who and what Magnus had and had not done, he strode into the kitchen and flicked on the tap. He ran the water until it was cold, hands trembling just a little, and then sucked in a deep, calming breath.

"I'm sorry," Raphael said, when Magnus appeared back in the living room.

Magnus blinked. When did Raphael ever apologise to anyone about anything? Well. Except perhaps Simon. Simon seemed to be the exception to a lot of things, where Raphael was concerned.

Magnus sat back down. "I'll get over it," he said. "But I'm fairly sure Ragnor has more sexual experience than I do, so hold your assumptions, next time."

Raphael nodded, gaze fixed on his hands. After a long moment, he said, "Do you think I've done the wrong thing?"

"Breaking up with Simon?" Magnus exhaled. "We can't make the decision for you."

"I love him. Why should I throw that away?"

"There's no one person that you're destined for," Magnus said. "And sometimes love isn't enough."

"Would you let Alec go, if you didn't have to?" Raphael asked. Magnus would have thought the question was rhetorical, because the answer seemed to obvious, but for the honest curiosity clear in the younger boy's eyes.

Magnus shook his head. "No. No, of course I wouldn't. I love Alec more than I can express. But maybe you do have to let Simon go. Maybe you're right—maybe you need time."

"Could I get more time, but not let him go?" Raphael asked. "Because I- I don't want to let him go. I really don't want to."

Ragnor nodded. "Yes," he said. "Yes, you could. But you'd have to tell him. You'd have to explain everything. You'd have to communicate properly. Not your slightly crappy version of communicating."

"And," Magnus added, "you'd have to apologise. For not explaining before, and for making him leave without telling him why."

Raphael exhaled. "I'm not good at that."

"We know," Ragnor said. "But if you want him back, you have to talk to him."

"I don't know," Raphael said. "I just don't know."

"You'll figure it out," Magnus said, shooting him a small, reassuring smile.

***

Alec had been in the middle of making coffee, while Isabelle helped Max with his homework, when the doorbell rang. He sighed, wondering why they couldn't be left alone for just one weekend. There was only another week left of school, anyway, and then they were free, and summer began. Alec really couldn't wait to be done. One more year in school, and it would be over.

Trying to school his face into a more neutral, less irritated expression, Alec yanked open the front door and opened his mouth to ask whoever was on the other side what they wanted. But he stopped, mouth halfway open, movements going very still as he registered who stood on the other side of the threshold.

"Magnus?" he asked, slightly incredulous, scanning his boyfriend up and down. "I thought you were at Ragnor's. What are you doing here?"

"I was at Ragnor's," Magnus said, smiling. "But Raphael was being rude, and grumpy, and it wasn't exactly the most uplifting environment."

"But why are you here?" Alec persisted.

Magnus rolled his eyes. "Because you're my boyfriend, I love you, and I wanted to see you?"

Alec opened his mouth to say something, then slowly closed it again. "Oh. Okay."

"Your parents aren't home, are they?" Magnus looked suddenly worried.

"What? Oh, no, no. Just Izzy and Max. And me. Obviously. Sorry. Um. Come in."

Magnus smiled at him, and brushed his fingers over Alec's cheek. "Why are you so jumpy today? Did something happen?"

Alec shook his head, reaching out to tug Magnus inside. "No. I don't know. It's one of those days. But are you alright?" he asked, because he'd seen the flicker of discomfort in Magnus' eyes when he'd talked about Raphael.

Magnus shrugged. "Yeah. Just...something Raphael said."

Alec felt his expression darken as he reached over Magnus' shoulder to push the front door shut. "What did he say, and how hard do I need to hit him?"

Magnus smiled a little, and shook his head. "You don't need to hit him. He just made the assumption that I've slept around a lot. Which a lot of people think. But it bothered me. I mean, I don't know, maybe I would have slept around if it weren't for how impossible it would be to just casually hook up with someone considering my situation. Raphael doesn't know I'm trans, and I know he's in a bad place at the moment after Simon, but—"

"But that doesn't give him the right to treat you like that." Alec nodded, and bent to kiss Magnus lightly on the lips. "I get it. But even if you had slept around, there's nothing inherently wrong with that."

"I know," Magnus said with a sigh. He wrapped his arms around Alec's waist and leant into him, snuggling up against him. Magnus was a little bit cold, so Alec chafed a hand up and down his back. "It shouldn't bother me so much, but it does. People just think that because I'm flirty and I act the way I do, I'm a slut."

" _Magnus_." Alec pulled back to look at him in shock, appalled at the notion, and at the horrible, self-deprecating sound of his voice. "You are not a slut."

"Everyone thinks I am."

"I know you're not," Alec said. "Ragnor and Cat know you're not. Will and Jem know you're not. My family knows you're not." He kissed Magnus' forehead. "Besides which, enjoying casual sex is only a bad thing because of stupid historical connotations and morals that are complete garbage, so it's not like anyone with a brain would care. Whatever Raphael assumed and said, I'm sure he didn't actually give a shit."

Magnus sighed, and let his head fall against Alec's shoulder. "Stop being right. It's annoying."

Alec laughed a little, backing Magnus up against the wall. "Oh?"

"Mmm." Magnus was smiling a little now, pupils expanding to engulf the brown of his irises, flickering down to Alec's lips before returning up to his eyes. "It's infuriating."

Alec slid his hands up under the back of Magnus' shirt, caressing the warm skin at the small of his back. Magnus shivered in his arms, and dragged him closer, fingers stroking through the hair at the nape of Alec's neck.

"You know what else is infuriating?" Alec asked, leaning in so his breath washed over Magnus' lips. Magnus' eyes closed for a moment.

"What?" he whispered, while Alec brushed his lips ever so lightly along Magnus' jawline.

"You," Alec said, and swooped down to catch Magnus' lips with his. Magnus moaned softly, clutching at Alec and tugging him closer, fingers catching and grasping at the material of his sweater.

Alec took Magnus' lower lip into his mouth, nipping and sucking gently, earning himself a breathy little moan from his boyfriend. He pulled back, releasing Magnus' lip, to look at him: cheeks flushed, chest rising and falling quickly, lips beginning to gain that red and swollen appearance already.

Magnus chased his lips as Alec leant back, pausing only to catch Alec's eye, before their lips met again, hard and fierce and desperate. Alec pushed Magnus back against the wall, fingers trailing down his side and along the outer lines of his left thigh.

Magnus moaned when Alec licked along the roof of his mouth. Alec gripped Magnus' thigh lightly in his hand, and hitched it up and around his hip. Magnus dug his heel into the back of Alec's knee to get some leverage to kiss him better, deeper, their tongues and teeth clashing.

"Alec," Magnus whimpered when Alec began to kiss and lick and nip down the long, smooth column of his neck. Magnus arched against his when Alec reached the base of his neck and sucked lightly on the fleshy area between his neck and shoulder, not quite hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to make a point.

"Fucking hell, Alec, get up here and kiss me," Magnus gasped, tugging on Alec's hair firmly.

"So demanding," Alec murmured, pressing soft, chaste kisses back up the other side of his neck before he recaptured Magnus' lips. The kiss was slower this time, softer, but no less passionate: it was deep and sensual, lighting Alec's every nerve ending on fire, rather than furiously fast, igniting and burning bright.

They kissed like that, slowly, Magnus leaning against the wall, Alec bent over him, hands on each other's skin and in each other's hair. It made Alec's heart pound, and he could feel Magnus' thudding quickly, too.

Behind them, a voice suddenly said, "Alec, what are you doing?"

Alec tore his lips away from Magnus' unceremoniously, flashing bright crimson as he tried to simultaneously remove Magnus' leg from his hip and get his hands out from under Magnus' shirt. He ended up getting tangled up, and panic flared in him.

"Calm," Magnus whispered, taking Alec's wrists in his and guiding them back to a more acceptable position steadily. "It's okay."

Once he'd secured one of Magnus' hands in his and helped him up away from where he'd been leaning against the wall, Alec cleared his throat, and turned round to look at Max. Max looked partially concerned, partially revolted, and very, very confused.

"Max, this is Magnus," Alec said, cringing at the tone of his voice. Oh, yeah. He sounded like he'd just been kissed within an inch of his life, alright. God, what had he been thinking, making out with Magnus in the hallway with his siblings home? "Magnus, this is my little brother."

"It's nice to meet you," Magnus said. "I've heard all about you."

Max frowned. "Are you Alec's friend?"

"Yes," Magnus said, and the same time Alec blurted out, "He's my boyfriend."

He could feel Magnus looking at him, suddenly still all over, but he didn't say a word, allowing Alec to handle the situation. Alec was incredibly grateful.

"We're dating," he clarified.

Some of the confusion lifted off Max's face. "Like Clary and Jace?"

"Yes. Exactly like that."

"Oh." Max blinked. "Okay. Do Mom and Dad know?"

Alec cringed a little. Magnus squeezed his hand gently.

"No, Max. They don't. So please don't tell them."

"Alright." Max shrugged. "It's not like they're here enough for me to say anything, anyway."

Alec felt guilt flood through him, even though it really wasn't his fault. He reached out with his free hand to ruffle Max's hair. "I'm sorry," he said. "Don't you have homework you're supposed to be doing?"

Max shrugged again. "Maybe."

Alec rolled his eyes. "If you don't go and do it, Izzy's going to get bored, and she won't help you."

Max huffed, but he stomped back into the kitchen anyway.

Magnus looked over at him. Alec glanced back, and tightened his grip on Magnus' hand.

"I'm sorry," Alec told him. "I'm sorry I hide this from my parents. I wish I didn't have to."

"It's okay," Magnus replied, and kissed his cheek gently. "Whenever you're ready, sweetheart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about that kiss scene. Oh well.
> 
> Brexit is the absolute worst thing to happen to my country in my lifetime. This is going to ruin our economy for a generation, at least. Fan-fucking-tastic. Well done, Britain. CONGRATULATIONS ON RUINING MY GENERATION'S LIFE, PENSIONERS!!
> 
> If you're a British citizen, though, there's a petition with nearly 400,000 signatures and rising fast to have a second referendum, now Farage has admitted to the lies and because all the uni students were at home, so many didn't vote because they'd have had to travel back too far to vote in the correct area.
> 
> https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/131215
> 
> PLEASE, IF YOU CAN, SIGN. Seriously, Britain, our futures are at stake.


	25. Phases 1, 2 and 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isabelle and Magnus, helped along by Ragnor, Jace and Alec, are up to something. Simon and Raphael are in for a shock.

**Prompt: in which your character goes out at 2am and has a one night stand**

 

 

*******

 

  
"This is a terrible, terrible idea," Isabelle said as she rifled through Jace's closet, lips pursed, eyes flickering between the clothes in front of her and Simon with a terrifyingly critical eye. "Just so my opinion is clear."

Simon shrugged, and swung his feet back and forth. Honestly, he felt more than a little satisfaction at being allowed to sit on Jace's bed and crease the sheets. His room was far, far too orderly. It was awful. Alec's room was much nicer: at least, it didn't look like he obsessive-compulsively cleaned in his spare time.

"Noted," Simon said. "It's been a week, Iz, and he hasn't even spoken to me. I called him. I texted him. I _tried_. But he's not– He just doesn't want to explain anything to me. How am I supposed to make this better if he doesn't tell me things?"

"Is hooking up with some random person in a club you're not even legally supposed to be in going to make this any better?" Isabelle asked, turning to face him with her hands on her hips, a pair of stylishly ripped jeans held in her left fist.

"It might make me feel better. You know. Rebounds and all that."

Isabelle threw the jeans at him, and then whirled back round. "And when exactly do rebounds ever work out well, pray tell?"

Simon huffed. "I feel so attacked right now."

Isabelle glared at him. "Don't even, Lewis. Go and put the fucking jeans on. And that t-shirt." She pointed to one shed thrown on the bed earlier. "Then I think possibly you need to borrow Jace's leather jacket. Maybe his old one. Don't ruin it, or he'll kill you."

"Jacket: more important than destroying the Death Star. Got it."

Isabelle rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "You're such a geek."

Simon winked at her. "And proud. Hey, that should be a t-shirt slogan! _I'm a geek and proud_."

"You're not supposed to be flirting with me, Simon, you're supposed to be flirting with random people in a bar."

"I'm not flirting with you. I'm merely agreeing that my incredible intellect and phenomenal knowledge of science fiction is world-renowned."

Isabelle raised her eyebrows. "I'm not quite sure that's what I said."

"Really?" Simon made a 'hmm' noise in the back of his throat. "That's what you meant, though. Sometimes my awesomeness just screws with people's brains."

"Awful," Isabelle said, throwing something else that looked suspiciously like a pair of swimming trunks at him. "Now go and change. We need to sort out your stupid hair if you want to pull some girls. Or guys. Whichever."

Simon disappeared into the bathroom, yanking it shut with a click behind him.

***

Moving out into the hallway, one eye still firmly on the bathroom door in case Simon came out, Isabelle slid her phone out and opened a text to Magnus.

**[From: Isabelle at 00:01]**

**Phase 1 complete. Outfit suitable, completely oblivious to plan. Raphael good?**

**[From: Magnus at 00:01]**

**Perfect! Oh yeah, we've got him occupied. 2:15 still the time for GO??**

**[From: Isabelle at 00:02]**

**Should be. I'll text you if not.**

The door to the bathroom swung open, so Isabelle stowed her phone away in her jeans pocket again, and turned her attention back to Simon. She appraised him carefully, eyes scanning from head to toe and then back again. The jeans fit him well, and the maroon shirt actually looked pretty good under the jacket. The jacket was a little too wide across the shoulders, Simon being much skinnier than Jace, but it, too, looked good.

"Hair," she said, pointing to the bed. "Sit. Now."

Simon saluted. "Yes, ma'am. Can I take the jacket off first?"

"Yes, yes, fine, get on with it, we're on a deadline, here! Hurry up!"

"We are?" Simon looked puzzled as he shrugged out of the jacket and plonked himself on the end of Jace's bed, turning his back to Isabelle. "Do the people leave early? Does the line get too long?"

"Something like that," Isabelle said airily. "Also, my patience is not the greatest."

"Don't we know it," Simon muttered.

Isabelle whacked the side of his head.

"Ouch!" He jerked forwards. "Jesus!"

"Isabelle," she reprimanded him. "Some long-dead preacher doesn't get the credit for my slapping, thank you very much."

Simon groaned. Isabelle smirked to herself. Oh, god, she really, really hoped this worked. If it didn't, she might just have to follow Jace's poor example and down a bottle of beer to alleviate the despair.

***

Curled up on the couch with Magnus in Will and Jem's living room, sharing short, sweet kisses while they watched the latest episode of _The Hollow_ , Alec could feel a headache coming on. And it mostly definitely wasn't because of the warm, soothing body resting against him.

No. It was because of the huffing, complaining, frustrating Raphael, sat in an armchair with his knees pulled up to his chest, scowling at the world. First he'd been scowling at Magnus for joking, which had made Alec's eyes narrow as his instinct to defend flared up, and then he'd been scowling at the TV, and then he'd been scowling and Magnus and Alec for kissing, and now God-knew why he was scowling, but he was. Unfortunately.

"Can it be time to leave now?" Alec whispered into Magnus' ear. "If he says _es estúpida_ one more time, I swear..."

Magnus kissed his temple comfortingly. "I know. Hopefully in a few hours it'll be over. This...mood of his."

"Or it'll be even worse than before."

"You are such a pessimist sometimes." Magnus shook his head, and kissed Alec's nose. "I seem to love you anyway."

Alec smiled. "I love you too."

" _Dios_ , if you two are going to make out again, I am leaving. I don't know why I'm here anyway. Do not kiss. It is unnecessary."

Alec looked at Magnus with a sort of _See? I'm sick of this attitude_ expression on his face. Magnus pursed his lips and shook his head.

Alec had never wanted to see Simon more in his goddamn life.

***

Isabelle liked Simon.

She'd always liked him. For a while, liked him enough to consider him dating material. (Lydia had thrown all that out the window, of course.) But still, she liked him enough to be his friend, and listen to his rants about painfully geeky things, and help with his disastrous social life.

And his romantic endeavours.

So yeah. She liked Simon. Which was why, sitting at a bar that neither of them were supposed to be in with a Diet Coke in her hand, watching Simon attempt to flirt with the girls, she was cringing internally. Maybe she should have given him less of a _just be yourself_ pep talk, and more of a _this is how you flirt with girls_ kind of thing. Because it was...painful to watch. He was trying, and it all sounded very sweet and honest, but girls in clubs, generally, didn't go for sweet or honest. They went for mysterious and sexy and jokey.

Isabelle had tried to play up Simon's air of mystery. She'd clearly done an okay job, because he was getting a decent amount of attention. He just seemed to be struggling with the actual socialising part. Which was all very, very Simon Lewis.

She took a swig of her coke, and decided that maybe it was better like this. At least this way, she didn't have to worry about some girl clinging onto Simon later and ruining all their plans. God, if some plastic Barbie ruined this, Isabelle's stilettos would be going through someone.

Isabelle jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her hip and lips pressing gently to her neck. She whirled round, pulling away from the touch, and then stilled when she saw Lydia standing behind her barstool, a smile on her face.

"Lydia," she said, sighing in relief. "Hey."

"Hey to you too." Lydia smiled. "You look gorgeous."

Isabelle's lips quirked up. White jeans. Lydia seemed to like it when she wore white jeans. Well, white jeans, or...less.

"Thank you," Isabelle said, before her mind could wander and deviate from the plan. "I'd say you do too, but this place is so dark I can barely tell you're wearing black jeans."

Lydia kissed her slowly, walking her fingers up Isabelle's thigh. Isabelle exhaled in contentment, winding her arm around Lydia's waist and tugging her closer. Lydia's hair fell forwards, so she swept it back over her shoulder, Isabelle winding it gently around her wrist.

No. She couldn't do this. She had to pay attention for another half an hour. Then she could go and have sex with her girlfriend.

"Wait," she said, pulling back. Lydia blinked down at her. "I can't. Not now." Upon Lydia's look of mixed confusion and hurt, she hurried to explain about Simon and Raphael and this plan that she and Magnus, with some help from Ragnor, Alec and Jace, had put together.

"Oh, I see." Lydia smiled. "Can I stay? Wait until you're done?"

"Sure." Isabelle patted the barstool beside her; Lydia hopped up.

"So. How long do you think until Simon snags a girl?" Lydia asked.

Isabelle shrugged, taking a swig of her drink. "History suggests he's got more luck with guys."

"Yeah, well. Sexuality is complex. Raphael might be one of very few men whom Simon finds attractive."

"You're probably right. You usually are. Which is annoying, by the way."

Lydia leant over and kissed her cheek. "I love you too, babe."

Isabelle raised her eyebrows, smiling, and waited for what Lydia had just said to sink into her girlfriend's far too intelligent brain. Lydia's eyes widened comically, a flush rising up her cheeks, but, to her credit, she didn't backtrack. She just held Isabelle's gaze.

"If you think I don't love you, Lydia, then you're an idiot."

Lydia huffed out a relieved laugh. "I really want to kiss you."

Isabelle pressed a chaste, but lingering, kiss to Lydia's lips, because she really wanted to kiss Lydia, too, but she had to pay attention to what Simon was doing for just a little longer.

"Phase two is nearly done," Isabelle told her. "Then phase three begins."

Lydia shook her head. "I suddenly understand what Alec meant when he said that this was all insane. Phase three? What the hell is phase three?"

Isabelle winked at her. "Phase three is when all the fun starts."

***

"Did this have to be done at two in the morning?" Alec grumbled under his breath to Magnus as they wandered down the street, Raphael in tow. "Couldn't we have done it at, say, ten?"

Magnus shook his head. "Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because."

Alec rolled his eyes, huffed, and burrowed himself deeper into the warmth of his sweater. Maybe it was June, but it was the middle of the night, and it was really, really cold. Although, he had to admit that he wasn't complaining about the excuse to press against Magnus' side for warmth.

"I still don't know what exactly you think we're doing," Raphael said from beside them. "I'm too young to go to a club."

Magnus sighed, fingers brushing against Alec's hip under his sweater where he'd wrapped an arm around Alec's waist. How the hell did he have such warm hands? "You don't have to stay for long."

"I don't want to go at all," Raphael muttered, kicking at the sidewalk with his heels and shoving his hands deeper into his jean pockets, because Raphael had the approximate emotional maturity of a twelve year old.

Alright. Maybe Alec was being somewhat unfair. But it was cold, and he was being dragged into a club, _again_ , after the disaster of last time, and this was ruining a prime opportunity for him to spend time making out with Magnus.

When they reached the club, Magnus tugged Alec closer to his side, grabbed Raphael's forearm in his, and marched the three of them up to the front entrance, by-passing the queue. The security guard folded his arms, giving Magnus a distinctly unimpressed look. Alec bristled, squaring his shoulders because he was taller than this guy, even if he was significantly less muscular, and people couldn't just look at Magnus like that and not expect him to get annoyed on Magnus' behalf.

Magnus shot the security guard a smile, leant forward and said something to him in a low voice. The guard narrowed his eyes, then nodded, asked them for ID, and waved them inside, inclining his head to Magnus.

" _Dios_ , what did you say?" Raphael asked, staring at Magnus in puzzlement. "Did you—"

Raphael stopped. Raphael stopped everything. Moving, speaking, blinking, breathing, functioning. He just stared, face entirely blank. Alec followed his gaze, already knowing what he'd find. And, sure enough, there was Simon, grinning awkwardly at some girl with curly brown hair and a nice smile.

Alec might have been rooting for the girl. She actually looked nice enough, and Simon was a decent guy, under his insane geekiness. Why shouldn't he have some success in the dating world? What was wrong with a 2am one night stand?

But they were here specifically because they were all rooting for somebody else.

That someone else swallowed, and turned to glare at Magnus. "You planned this," he accused. "This was your plan the whole time."

Magnus shrugged. "Guilty as charged."

"And you." Raphael rounded on Alec. "Why didn't you warn me?"

Alec raised his eyebrows. "Why would I have warned you? Contrary to popular belief, I do actually like Simon, and you've both been miserable as Magnus was when that Sephora store closed."

Raphael looked back over his shoulder at Simon, who had yet to see the other boy, a wistful expression on his face. Sympathy shot through Alec. Raphael was a hard person to like, but he could see why Magnus considered him a friend. It was rewarding, to be friends with someone like Raphael. And it was hard to see him so upset.

" _Dios_ ," Raphael whispered. "He's going to kiss her."

"Not if he sees you," Magnus said gently, putting his hand on Raphael's shoulder. "Just talk to him. Explain. You don't have to get back with him. That's not what this is about. You just need closure."

Raphael sucked in a deep breath, then let it all out in a whoosh. "I might not say this often, Bane, but you're right."

***

"Simon."

Simon jumped out of his skin, nearly knocking Maia's drink over as he turned towards the voice. A voice which sounded painfully like Raphael's voice. Why the hell was he imagining Raphael's voice in the middle of a club? He hated things like this. There was no way he'd ever see Raphael dead in a club.

Simon looked round, and this time, he did knock Maia's drink over. She leapt backwards, swearing, and picked up the glass before it rolled onto the floor, but Simon was barely paying attention. Because fuck, if that wasn't Raphael Santiago, standing right in front of him in a nightclub in the early hours of the morning, looking at him with huge, sad eyes.

"Raphael," Simon whispered.

"Why is it that you can only call me that when you're upset or angry?" Raphael asked, smiling one of those horrible, forlorn smiles.

"I—" Simon looked over at Maia, who was watching the exchange with a furrowed brow. She was pretty, and funny, and frankly, Simon was astounded that she'd paid him any attention at all, and she certainly didn't deserve to stand there and hear this. "Maia, can I—"

"I'll catch you some other time." She flashed them both a smile. "Coffee, maybe, at the weekend." Then, looking between them, she added, "Platonically."

"Wait!" Simon reached out to grab her elbow. "I'm not gay, I haven't stood here and lied to you."

She shook her head. "I know. But..." She shrugged. "It's easy to see when something's going on."

With one last smile, to both of them, she picked up Simon's half-empty glass, took a swig, and waggled her fingers at them, striding off to the other side of the room.

Heart heavy, Simon turned back to face Raphael. He didn't want to. Or maybe he did. He'd wanted to have this conversation for so many weeks, and yet, now, he just wanted to run away and hide. What could Raphael say to make this any better? It wasn't like—

"I'm sorry," Raphael blurted out. "God, Simon, I'm so sorry."

Oh. Well. There was that. That- That was interesting. Raphael apologising for something. That was really interesting. Simon was floored. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again, because he wasn't quite sure what on earth to say.

"I..." He shook his head. "I don't know what to say?"

Raphael let out a strange, weary little laugh that would have been much better suited to Ragnor or Alec or Magnus someone who seemed more worldly than Raphael.

"I just don't want you to think," Raphael said, looking him in the eye, "that I didn't– that I _don't_ love you."

Simon stared at him. "What?" he asked faintly. "But you said—"

"I didn't say I didn't love you. I just never told you that you were wrong when you assumed it."

Swallowing heavily, Simon leant back against the bar. Why the heck was Raphael telling him this now? Why was he even here? Or— Oh. This whole thing had been a ploy. Jace persuading him to come to a club to hook up and make himself feel better, Isabelle pretending to be disapproving and then going along with it... Magnus and Alec had probably been doing the same thing to Raphael.

Damn it. Damn all his stupid, incredible, infuriating friends to hell. Why did they have to look out for him all the time?

"So why did you- Why did you make me leave? Why did you break up with me?"

"Because I was scared," Raphael told him. "I was scared of what I felt for you. I was, and I still am, scared of someone loving me, and seeing the bits of me that I hate. And even more than that, I'm scared of that someone _loving_ bits of me I hate. That's terrifying. I'm not sure how to deal with that."

"Would you be willing to give it a go?" Simon asked, lifting his hand to brush his fingers against Raphael's cheek. "Because being without you for so long has been awful."

Raphael smiled, leaning into Simon's touch. "Alright," he whispered. "Alright."

"We need to talk about this more, later," Simon asked, flattening his palm against Raphael's cheek. "But for now... Can I kiss you?"

Raphael glanced behind him. "You know how I feel about PDA."

Simon nodded, grasping Raphael's hand in his free one. "Setting-appropriate kissing, I promise."

"I trust you," Raphael said, squeezing Simon's hand after a moment's hesitation.

Simon leant in, tilting Raphael's face to his, and pressed their lips together, soft and lingering, catching Raphael's lip gently between his. Raphael smiled against his lips, and god, Simon had missed him so much it hurt.

When they pulled apart, Raphael's eyes had gone soft. "Simon?"

"Yeah?"

" _Te amo_."

" _Te amo_ ," Simon replied, kissing Raphael's cheek. "I love you."

"Can we leave?" Raphael asked. "Please? I am not precisely a great fan of this kind of thing."

Simon dropped his hand from Raphael's cheek and nodded. "Yeah. Come on."

"They're going to be gloating," Raphael commented. "The others."

Simon shrugged. "I don't care."

Raphael leant into him, and pressed a brief kiss to his neck. "Me neither."

***

**[From: Isabelle at 02:49]**

**Phase 3 was a success :D**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! They're happy now! It's okay again!


	26. When You're Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec argues, gets angry, and feels guilty. Magnus makes it better.

**Prompt: In which your character debates gay adoption**

 

*******

 

  
Alec bristled with anger as his parents started to go off on Isabelle about her grades, yet again, for what had to be the fifth time since the school year had ended and they'd been given their final grades for the year.

The whole day had been more than a little uncomfortable. Maryse and Robert had arrived home without warning, and upset Max with the favourable way they spoke to Jace, compared to how they snapped at Alec and Isabelle. Then they'd announced that all five of them were to go out to lunch at some horrifically expensive restaurant for a family lunch.

Alec didn't think his day could have got much worse, until Robert had pulled up outside, and Alec had realised that they were going to eat at the very place Magnus worked every weekend. And he was due to be working today.

He'd looked around fervently when they'd walked in and Robert had demanded a table, wondering whether Magnus' shift had started yet. He couldn't for the life of him remember what time Magnus had said he was supposed to be working.

After several minutes of checking every table and scrutinising every server in case they'd turn round and Magnus' face would greet him, Alec had resigned himself to the fact that Magnus was not in the restaurant yet. So he'd returned his attention to the conversation currently going on between his parents and Isabelle.

"There's nothing wrong with her grades," Alec said, once their server had brought over their drinks.

"You and Jace have significantly better grades, Alexander," Maryse said, and Alec shuddered a little at the name. He'd always hated people calling him Alexander, precisely because that was what his parents called him when they were in bad moods. Which was most of the time. But from Magnus, for some reason, he didn't mind it so much. Hearing it from his parents again made him cringe.

"And I do significantly less extra-curricular things than Isabelle does," he said, because it was true. Isabelle packed everything it was possible to fit into her schedule, and then some.

Robert opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Maryse's sharp, "Oh, that poor child."

Alec followed her gaze across the restaurant, to see two women holding hands, the woman on the left cradling a little boy of about two in her free arm. Maryse shook her head as the little family crossed the restaurant and were seated.

Isabelle turned to Maryse's, nostrils flaring, fire burning bright in her eyes. "Poor child why, exactly?"

Oh, shit.

"Two women for parents," Maryse stated, apparently oblivious to Isabelle's fury. "How is he supposed to learn how to be a man with no example in his household?"

"No example?" Isabelle echoed. "What, because he's not going to have men in his family, or men to look up to? And what exactly does being a man entail, Mother?"

Robert looked warily between his wife and daughter. "Isabelle—"

"She's right," Alec said, surprising both himself and his family. He usually kept quiet when these sorts of topics came up, because he didn't want them to find out how very, very not-straight he was. But Isabelle clearly wasn't straight, either, and he wasn't going to leave his little sister without support.

"Alec," Robert said, placatingly. "Perhaps we should leave this conversation for another time. Perhaps in a more private setting."

"What, because you're afraid your reputation will be tarnished? We live in New York, Dad." Alec shook his head. "People don't have to live in fear in this state. They shouldn't have to live in fear."

"No," Robert said, "not fear. Of course not. But—"

"But nothing," Isabelle snapped. "You just need to let go of your stupid, old-fashioned ideals."

"Who's going to teach that little boy how to play football, Isabelle?" Maryse hissed.

"Girls aren't incapable of playing sports, Mom," Alec said, glancing across at where Jace had his arm over the back of Max's chair, watching the exchange worriedly.

"People like that shouldn't be allowed to adopt children," Maryse said briskly, shaking her head and folding her hands atop the table. "It's not a natural upbringing for a child. How can he ever be normal with that example? He'll go to school and expect all boys to want boyfriends."

"With that logic," Jace said, "all straight parents would only ever have straight children."

Maryse pursed her lips. "It's not right."

Max was staring at Alec, his eyes wide and nervous. Because, Alec realised, he'd seen Magnus and Alec kissing, weeks ago, and now he knew that his parents hated the idea of two men, or two women, being together. So what did he do now? Which side did he choose?

Alec stood up, and held out his hand to his little brother. "Come on."

Maryse looked at him sharply, mouth thin. "Where are you going?"

"I'm taking my eight year old brother away from a hostile and unpleasant situation," Alec snapped. "You know, even if you are so homophobic you can't stand the sight of two women together, at least they're there for their son. And least they're taking him out and spending time with him and offering him a stable home environment. Unlike someone."

Robert's eyes went wide. "Alec!"

Maryse shook her head, fury etched into every line of her face. "You have no idea what we do for you. We could work some average job, always based in New York, be here all the time, but would you have everything you've got now?"

"Maybe not," Alec said, "but at least then you'd know the first thing about us."

Both his parents had gone white. Still bristling with anger, Alec turned away from them and gestured Max in front of him, out of that situation. Maybe he should have let Jace take Max, because now he'd worked himself up, and he wanted to hit something. Hard.

"Alec?" Max asked in a small voice as Alec led him over to where a large fish tank lined the wall of the restaurant. Watching brightly coloured fish swim around like they had absolutely no cares in the world was therapeutic, Alec thought.

He looked down at Max. "Yes?"

"I don't understand."

Alec sighed softly, and bent down so he was at Max's height. "Some people, including our parents, aren't particularly favourable towards that kind of thing."

"But why?"

Alec shrugged. "I don't know. Because it's different, and people are scared of what's different. Some people have decided it's against their religious beliefs. But scientifically, it's not an illness, it's not unnatural, it's just...human. People seem to have decided that you're only allowed to be human if you fit a certain criteria. But you're human, and you deserve to live, just because you are alive, and because people love you, and because we're all built from blood and bones. We all have a heart and a brain, and we're all absolutely unique, and absolutely human. Nothing so mundane as who you're attracted to can change that."

Max's eyes were wide, searching Alec's face desperately. "How do you know?"

Alec smiled at him. "Because I love Magnus just as much as Jace loves Clary, just as much as you'll love somebody someday. Because Magnus' dads are two of the kindest, most loving people I know. And because my heart beats just the same as everybody else's."

Max's eyes caught on something behind him. "Alec—"

Alec turned, just as a surprised voice said, "Hello, Alexander."

Alec straightened up, and glanced back over at his parents. Robert and Jace were both watching him; Maryse and Isabelle seemed to have moved onto leaning across the table and snapping at each other.

And Magnus was here. Right here. In front of him, smiling at him, wearing all his usual make-up, hair twisting upwards and then falling forwards over his forehead, dressed in the back uniform of the servers in the restaurant.

Alec wanted to kiss him, so, so badly. He wanted to do what Isabelle and Lydia had done. He wanted to grab Magnus' shirt, yank him forwards and kiss him, right on the mouth, in front of the entire restaurant, his parents' stupid opinions be damned.

But he couldn't. He just...couldn't. He wasn't ready. He wasn't brave enough.

"I didn't know you'd be here, darling," Magnus said, lips curved upwards, looking at him like Alec had hung the freaking moon. It broke Alec's heart to see Magnus with that expression on his face, when Alec was too scared to reach out and touch him just because his parents were across the room.

Alec swallowed. "I didn't either. Uh—" He stepped backwards quickly when Magnus simultaneously moved towards him reached a hand out. Hurt flashed across Magnus' face, and Alec felt it like some kind of vicious, twisting knife in his heart.

"Mom and Dad are here," Max said, before Alec could explain.

"Oh." Magnus' face fell a little, and he stepped back. "I see. Is everything okay?"

God, Magnus knew him far, far too well.

"Not really," Alec said, "but I'll tell you about it later."

"Alright." Magnus smiled at him. "I'm working until six, but if you're free later..."

Alec nodded, relief spreading through him at the thought of making plans to see Magnus later. If he could look forward to seeing his boyfriend, maybe he'd survive this lunch without committing any murders in the process.

"Half six, mine?" Magnus suggested.

"Sounds good." He bit down on his lower lip, because he still felt bad about this entire situation. "Magnus—"

Magnus shook his head. "Not now," he said. "It's okay, Alec. I'll talk to you later."

When he sat back down at the table with Max, Robert was holding an awkward conversation with Jace about football, while Isabelle and Maryse were glaring in opposite directions. Maryse turned her scowl onto Alec as he sat down.

"Who was that?" she snapped.

"One of my best friends," he replied. It wasn't a lie. Magnus was one of his best friends. He was just also something else, too.

Maryse looked scandalised, presumably because she'd noticed Magnus' make-up and styled hair. "When did this happen, precisely?"

"Ages ago," Alec said. "Like I said, Mom, you don't know the first thing about any of us."

***

Alec arrived at Will and Jem's house twenty minutes early, because he couldn't stand another minute in the house with his parents - especially his mother - making unpleasant and snide comments about everyone and everything, just because they were feeling spiteful. Clearly, they were still bitter about the lunchtime conversation.

As soon as Magnus opened the door, Alec flung himself at his boyfriend and hugged him tight, burying his face in Magnus' neck and breathing him in. He was taller than Magnus, and broader, and like this Alec dwarfed him, but Magnus didn't seem to care, wrapping his arms around Alec's waist and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"I'm sorry," Alec whispered. "I'm so sorry, Magnus."

"Hush, darling." Magnus pulled back, reached around him to push the front door shut, then took Alec's hand and began to head upstairs. "There's nothing to apologise for."

Alec shook his head. "But there is."

"No." Magnus flopped down on his bed, pulling Alec with him so they were both laying on their sides, facing each other. "There really isn't, sweetheart. You're not out to your parents yet. You don't have to apologise to me for that."

Alec shrugged. He picked up one of Magnus' hands, absently twisting one of the rings around Magnus' finger. "You shouldn't have to hide for me."

"I'm not," Magnus said. "You're out at school. You're comfortable in public. You're just wary of telling your parents. You're not ready yet. That's okay, Alec. I respect that. I would never want to make you uncomfortable, or pressure you into coming out before you're ready to."

"I feel bad about it."

"Well, don't." Magnus shook his head, reaching up with the hand Alec wasn't holding to brush back some of Alec's hair from his forehead. "I promise, it's alright. I don't mind."

"Since I met you, I- I've come out to so many people. Only Izzy really knew. And now I'm out to all my friends and then some, and I'm out to Max, and everyone's accepted it, except assholes like Sebastian and Camille, but I—" He sighed. "I'm terrified that my parents will hate me."

"They won't hate you," Magnus said softly. "They're not like that."

"You've never met them. How would you know?"

"Because they must have some goodness in them, if they've brought up such lovely, wonderful children."

Alec snorted softly. "Jace, lovely? I don't think so."

Magnus chuckled. "Well, alright, maybe Jace lost out on a few years of TLC."

"There's no TLC, Magnus. That's the whole point."

Magnus leant forwards and pressed a kiss to Alec's nose, and then another to his forehead, and both cheeks, and the corners of his eyes, and both sides of his mouth. Alec felt a flush creep up his cheeks as Magnus peppered his face with soft little kisses, not saying a word, just offering him comfort in such a calm, intimate way.

Alec curled closer to him when Magnus eventually pulled back, catching Magnus' lips in a lingering, bittersweet kiss instead. What was he doing to Magnus? God, what was he doing to himself? Not being out to his parents was driving him insane. So why couldn't he just fucking spit the words out? It really wasn't that difficult.

"Stop worrying," Magnus breathed. "Stop overthinking it."

"I can't help it," Alec whispered back.

"It's simple." Magnus opened his eyes, and cupped Alec's cheek in one hand. "When you're ready to, and only when you are ready to, you tell your parents that you're gay, or not straight, or whatever you want to call it. You tell them in whatever way you'd like to. And before then, you don't tell them. I don't mind. You are still my boyfriend, I still love you, and I would still do near enough anything for you. Okay?"

Oh, god, had Magnus really just said all that? Alec's heart was aching painfully in his chest. How could Magnus possibly be so incredibly perfect?

"Okay," Alec murmured. "I love you too."

Magnus tugged him closer so their chests pressed together, legs tangling atop the sheets below. "When you're ready, Alexander. And only then."


	27. Sea, Sand and Semantics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec have fun on the beach, someone tries to (unintentionally) ruin their day, and they have a Conversation.

**Prompt: In which your character explains gay sex to someone**

 

 

*******

 

  
On a blistering summer weekend in the middle of July, Magnus and Alec walked down a busy Los Angeles street near Santa Monica Bay, hand-in-hand. As part of their annual summer vacation, Will, Jem and Magnus had decided to head to the west coast, because all of them enjoyed the hot weather, and Magnus had apparently dreamed of visiting Los Angeles for his entire life.

When Magnus had excitedly thrown himself into Alec's arms three weeks previously, babbling about the upcoming trip, grinning in excitement, eyes alight, Alec had found it very hard to not be infected by Magnus' good mood. It was only after they'd gone home that night that Alec had had enough time to really consider the fact that he'd have to be without Magnus for two whole weeks.

That was, until, a week before Magnus was due to go, Will had tossed something in front of him while they were all eating very late breakfast. (Will and Jem had gone out to the New York Pride parade, and hadn't come home until about three in the morning. Magnus and Alec had stayed up watching a whole season of Supernatural. It was their latest thing. They'd watched nearly five seasons in less than a month.) Alec had frowned up at him, picked up the piece of paper, and nearly had a heart attack when he'd realised that it was a plane ticket to Los Angeles, with his name on it.

"What it is?" Alec asked, staring from the paper to Will and Jem and Magnus and back again.

"Your ticket." Magnus looked, if possible, even more excited than he had when he'd first found out where his parents were taking him. "You're coming with us."

"I– Are you serious? Really?" His face fell. "What about my parents? They'll never agree."

Jem smiled at him. "We've sorted it. Don't worry."

Alec gaped at him. "How the hell did you manage that?"

"My husband is very persuasive, and very charming," Will said.

"As is Will, when he wants to be." Jem's smile took on a smug edge. "Between us, I promise, they had no hope of refusing."

Which was how Alec found himself in flip-flops, shorts and a t-shirt, strolling down the street towards the beach, laughing easily with Magnus. Alec didn't think Magnus had ever looked so beautiful than he did now. Skin bronzed and sun-kissed, eyes shining with happiness, carefree and entirely at ease. Halfway through their first week, he'd even swapped his stylish t-shirts for those apparently in-fashion tank tops that hung off his shoulder, which men everywhere in the city seemed to be wearing.

Magnus wasn't a huge fan of tank-tops, Alec knew, because he still suffered with negative feelings about this body, and was nervous about showing it off to the world. So, while they'd been dating for more than six months, it was the most of Magnus' body Alec had ever seen on display. He had absolutely no complaints, and Magnus had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

The first time Magnus had appeared in a tank, he'd come down to breakfast late. Will and Jem had booked Magnus and Alec into their own hotel room, because they rose with the sun and Magnus and Alec most definitely didn't (and, Alec suspected, because they wanted privacy to do...private things) so they'd already been at breakfast when Alec had come down, without Magnus, because his boyfriend had insisted that Alec didn't wait for him.

Will and Jem had both looked surprised, and then smiled, when Magnus appeared. Magnus had looked so nervous, and it had broken Alec's heart. Magnus so rarely looked embarrassed about his fashion choices. But something so simple had made him so uncertain.

Even with Will and Jem right there, sat across from them, Alec hadn't been able to do anything but stand up, grab Magnus' hand, and kiss his lips quickly, whispering, "You're beautiful," in his ear.

That conflicted, worried look hadn't been on Magnus' face since.

"Ten quid says Will and Jem are kissing when we get back to dinner," Magnus said as they turned off the street and headed down onto the beach. It was nearly eight o'clock, still warm, the sun dropping down towards the horizon, casting an amber glow across the sea.

"Ten _bucks_ says they're already in their room and skipped on dinner," Alec replied, smiling teasingly as Magnus bent down to kick off his flip-flops and hold them in one hand instead. "Honestly, Magnus, how long have you been in America? What's the currency here?"

"Oh, shut up." Magnus swatted at his shoulder with his flip-flops. "They're still chips."

"Oh my god, _stop_ ," Alec groaned. "They're not chips."

"Yes, they are."

"They're fries."

"Chips."

"Fries."

"Chips."

Alec rolled his eyes, slid one hand under Magnus' knees and the other across the back of his shoulders and hoisted him up into his arms. Magnus let out a shout as Alec took off down the beach towards the sea, laughing as he splashed through the waves lapping at the glistening golden sand.

"Alec!" Magnus shrieked as Alec spun around fast enough for water droplets to fly up and hit their faces. "It's cold!"

"Admit it! They're called fries!"

"Never! I'll never give into your bullying, Alexander!"

Alec paused in his spinning, a smirk stretching across his face, and shrugged. "Okay, then. I'll just have to toss you in the sea for your blasphemous British slang."

"You wouldn't."

"I might." Alec kept his face impassive as he gazed down at Magnus, who'd tightened the grip of his arms around Alec's neck. "It depends. Will you admit that you're wrong?"

Magnus' lips quirked up. "Nope."

"Oh, well." Alec sighed. "Looks like you're getting wet, English."

"I'm not English!"

"You speak like you're English," Alec told him, because he did. "I'm gonna throw you in the sea, now."

Magnus' eyes widened. He kicked his legs and held on tighter to Alec's neck. Alec smirked, then swung him back and forth as though readying himself to toss Magnus. Just at the last minute, when he was in prime position to let his boyfriend go flying and Magnus was shouting at him to stop, he held Magnus firmly to him and dashed back up the beach, depositing Magnus on the soft warm sand instead.

Chest heaving, eyes bright despite his pout, Magnus said, "You are a mean, mean boyfriend, Alexander."

Alec chuckled. "I didn't throw you in the sea. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Magnus huffed, and pushed himself up on his elbows. "I don't like your attitude, darling."

Alec's smile widened. "Love you too, Mags."

Alec didn't think about it as he spoke, but when Magnus paused, mouth halfway open, and looked at him for a long, hard moment, he realised that he'd just given Magnus a nickname, and that he'd never used it before. Well, Magnus called him all sorts of blush-inducing things. Darling. Sweetheart. Love. Couldn't he call Magnus something a bit different?

Then Magnus smiled at him, and the anxiousness that had been clawing at Alec's heart dissipated. "I like that," he said, voice soft. "I like that a lot."

Alec flushed, even as his lips turned up. "Yeah?"

Magnus nodded. "Yeah."

Alec reached his hand out, offering it to Magnus, and pulled him up off the sand. Magnus brushed debris off his shorts and the backs of his calves, then hummed, leaning into Alec's arms, resting his head on Alec's shoulder.

"Thank you," Magnus said suddenly.

Alec tilted his head towards Magnus. "For what?"

"Everything. For being you. For being the world's most incredible and supportive friend, boyfriend—whatever. You've brought so much into my life that I didn't even realise I wanted. So just...thank you."

Alec kissed his temple, because it was the easiest part of Magnus' face for him to reach. Magnus leant into his touch, fingers brushing against his hair. "Thank you for exactly the same," Alec said.

***

They spent another hour splashing around in the shallows of the sea, flicking sand at each other, and strolling along the beach holding hands, before they decided to call it a night and head back to the hotel. Jem and Will had texted them earlier to say they'd finished dinner, so would see them at breakfast tomorrow—Magnus had grudgingly handed over ten dollars to Alec.

"Want to order room service?" Magnus asked as he brushed his feet off and slid his flip-flops back on. "I can't be bothered to dress up to go to dinner. I just want to cuddle and watch Netflix and go to sleep."

Alec nodded. "Sounds good to me. Wait, c'mere, you've got a bit of—" He flicked at Magnus' hair, picking out a bit of plant debris that had clearly been blown there at some point in the evening. He flicked it away, then leant in to press a quick kiss to Magnus' lips.

"Jesus," said a strange voice from behind them.

Alec turned, feeling Magnus' fingers tense where they were twined through his, and found himself facing a man not all that much older than them - early twenties, probably - with his eyebrows furrowed, eyes fixed in their hands, sandy coloured hair swept messily across his forehead.

Alec's heart sank. Was there nowhere they could go where this didn't happen?

"Is there a problem?" Alec asked cooly.

"What?" The man looked up at him. "A problem? No. Of course not. Sorry."

Alec felt the tightness in his chest ease a little; Magnus' hand relaxed in his.

"I didn't mean—" The man looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry, you two made me jump. This place is usually empty. I'm just waiting for my girlfriend, and I didn't realise anyone would be here."

"We're just leaving," Magnus said, offering the man a small smile. "It's all yours."

The man returned his smile. "Thanks. Seriously, please don't think I was, like, offended or anything. I wasn't, I swear."

Magnus and Alec both waved off his apology, and wished the man a good night. Maybe not everyone in the world was quite so awful as Alec thought. Maybe he needed to stop jumping to conclusions so fast.

Just as they reached the end of the wooden pathway situated over the sand to give people an easier route off the beach, a young women with her hair pulled up in a ponytail skipped up towards them—presumably, Alec thought, she was the guy's girlfriend. She stared for a moment, then beamed.

"Hi!" she said, overly friendly in that way some people were. It made Alec slightly uncomfortable. "How're ya doin'?"

Unfailing polite, but clearly closing the conversation, Magnus said, "Great, thank you. Have a nice night. The sea's calm today."

The woman waved her boyfriend over, and, sighing internally, Alec resigned himself to the fact that he would have to have a conversation with this couple. They seemed perfectly nice, but he really, really just wanted to go back to their hotel room and snuggle with his boyfriend. Was that too much to ask?

Barely five minutes later, Alec realised that the woman was one of those people who was fascinated by the idea of gay couples—men or women. She wanted to know everything about their relationship, and their sexual identities, and how it all 'worked'. Alec let Magnus answer, for the most part, because Magnus was good at keeping things concise wing out being rude. It was a trait he and Jem shared.

"Okay, so this is a bit kind of...y'know, out there, but how exactly do you..." She trailed off meaningfully. Her boyfriend looked incredibly embarrassed, and hissed, "Ella!" under his breath.

"How do you what?" Magnus asked.

"How do you...have gay sex?" she asked.

Her boyfriend groaned.

Despite having spent the last fifteen minutes making nice with the woman, Magnus appeared to have lost his patience. He shook his head, jaw tightening almost imperceptibly.

"I would imagine," Magnus said, "in much the same way you have straight sex. You know, mouths, hands, dicks, holes."

Everyone, except Magnus, flushed a furious shade of red.

"It's fairly simple, see?" Magnus made a crude gesture with his hands, and Alec elbowed him in the side, because really, hadn't he made his point?

"Okay," the woman said, "but what about, like, who does what? Is there, like, secret gay man code or something?"

Oh, god, this woman had no shame.

"For real?" Magnus asked, laughing a little in astonishment. "No. It's called communication. Like, you know, that thing straight people are supposed to do when they're having sex, too."

"But—"

"I'm sorry," Alec said, cutting in before Magnus could say anything worse than he already had, "but we really need to be going. Nice meeting you."

The woman smiled brightly. Her boyfriend still looked mortified.

"You too!" she called, as Alec began to drag Magnus off. "You're adorable, by the way!"

"Don't," Alec warned Magnus as he started to turn back. "Leave it."

"I have been called gay at least twenty times in the last fifteen minutes," Magnus growled. "Gay people this, gay people that. Did she not ask us what we identified as? And did I not very clearly tell her than I prefer to call myself a freewheeling bisexual?"

"I'm not sure she quite got the implications," Alec said, rubbing his hand up and down Magnus' arm soothingly. He knew how strongly Magnus felt about the way his sexuality was so continually erased. Alec didn't blame him for it.

Magnus huffed. "Something always had to ruin the nice nights."

"No," Alec said, pulling Magnus tight to his side. "Don't let that ruin tonight."

Magnus sighed, and then nodded. "Alright. Alright. I won't."

***

At nearly midnight, Alec emerged out of the bathroom after a pleasantly warm shower to get the salt and sand off his skin. Magnus was sat cross-legged on the bed, his head bent, looking at something on his phone. Immediately, Alec noted the tense set of his shoulders, and the way he'd hunched over—clearly, something was bothering him.

Alec climbed onto the bed, crawled up behind Magnus, and slid his arms around his waist. "Hey," he whispered, dropping a kiss to Magnus' shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Magnus shrugged. Alec peered over his shoulder, and saw that Magnus was looking at a picture of the two of them. Isabelle had taken it a few weeks ago. They'd all been out in the park, and Magnus had decided that he wanted a piggy-back. Alec had obliged, so, of course, because Jace and Magnus were both competitive as hell, it had turned into a battle between Magnus and Alec, and Jace and Clary. (Magnus and Alec had won, managing to topple the other couple to the ground with the aid of a very confused duck.)

Magnus had reached down to kiss Alec's cheek when they'd won, arms wrapped around his neck, both of them grinning. The picture had been taken right as Magnus pulled back.

It was the photo Alec had set as the background of his phone, because it wasn't a planned photo, it wasn't a pose, it was honest. And Alec much preferred honesty. Why Magnus was looking at it now, he really didn't know.

"Earlier," Magnus said after a moment, "when I was being snarky to that woman about how guys have sex with each other, I— It made me think."

"About what?" Alec asked, letting go of Magnus momentarily so his boyfriend could turn back to face him, and then capturing Magnus' hands in his.

"Sex," Magnus said, bluntly. "Us having sex."

Alec just stared at him. "You... What? I— What? I don't understand."

"Look, I—" Magnus sighed. "I'm not saying I want to have sex now, I just need to make sure you understand."

"We've talked about this," Alec said. "I know, and maybe it'll be strange at first, and we'll need to communicate and be honest, but—"

"Alec, please, just...listen. For a minute."

Alec obediently shut his mouth, and jerked his head in a nod. Magnus was tense all over, and Alec wanted to kiss all that away.

"I know you think you know, and I know you've spent hours Googling all this, because that's the kind of person you are - and that's fine, please don't misunderstand me, I'm glad you're taking an active interest in what is really an integral part of who I am - but not everyone is the same."

"Magnus—"

"My body," Magnus said, cutting him off before he could begin, "is not like yours. And it's never going to be."

"I know."

"Do you?" Magnus searched his eyes with apparent desperation. "Do you really? Alec, right now, if I stopped taking testosterone for a few months, my body would be capable of having a fucking baby." He paused. "Do you understand that?"

"Yes."

Magnus sighed, appearing suddenly deflated, shoulders slumping. "I'm underage," he said. "I'm not allowed to do anything drastic to my body yet. I was allowed top surgery, and I was allowed HRT, but that's it at the moment. And I don't know, exactly, whether I want to do anything else, but..." He shrugged. "I might do, once I'm eighteen, if I can afford it. Even if it's just...stopping my body being able to get pregnant. But whatever I do, my body is never going to look like the body of a cis guy. And I need you to know that now, before we– before we start taking any clothes off."

"Magnus," Alec said, as gently as he could, " _I know_. It's okay. I know. But I love you for you. The last thing that's going to disappoint me is your body."

Magnus exhaled. "You've been so incredible," he murmured. "About all of this."

Alec shrugged. "You should be afforded just the same respect as anyone else."

"I know, but...most people can't seem to help their curiosity."

"Well, I am curious," Alec admitted. "You're my boyfriend, I love you, and you're gorgeous. How could I not be curious? But that doesn't mean I should go around asking for descriptions. That's just creepy."

Magnus laughed. "I love you so much, sometimes, you know that?"

Alec kissed his nose. "Hm. Possibly. I might need a kiss to convince me..."

Rolling his eyes, Magnus crawled into Alec's lap, slid his arms around his neck, and kissed him, deep and slow and passionate, pressing them as close together as was humanly possibly. There was a possibility that Netflix would have to wait.


	28. First Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to a Pride parade. Alec has fun, there's a priest, and Will is a good father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June is coming to a close, which means that so is Pride month. I mah or may not have a few things left up my sleeve... There's a bit of w time jump in this chapter because I may have screwed up time frames when I was planning...oops...
> 
> Inspiration for Magnus' outfit from su-pectrum's incredible drawing of Alec's first Pride on Tumblr. Go check out the incredible art!

**Prompt: in which your character gets hammered at a Pride Parade and fights a priest**

 

*******

 

"Hold still," Magnus chastised him, slapping his shoulder as Alec flinched away from the face paint. "It'll take twice as long if I have to keep redoing this because you move and smudge it."

Alec huffed. "I don't see why you have to draw rainbows on my face."

"Rainbow flags, darling," Magnus corrected him, dragging the brush across his cheek. Goddamn, that paint was cold. Alec focused on not jerking away from it. "And it's your first Pride. Considering, I think I'm letting you be very drab."

Alec cracked his eyes open, trying not to smile lest he ruin Magnus' artwork. "My t-shirt has an awful joke about spelling straight on the back, and a rainbow on the front."

"You think I'm going all-out, here?" Magnus asked. "You should see what some of the other people are going to be wearing. Trust me, hair will be piled higher than my heels. And there are bound to be hot guys in glittery speedos." He paused as he switched to a different paint colour. "Maybe we'll get you in speedos, next year, hm?"

"No," Alec said flatly. "Really, no."

It had been an odd sort of year for Alec. Because on the one hand, it was his last year in high school, and he'd got into the college he wanted to, to do a pre-med course, and he was happier than he had been...well, ever. Everything was going right. Academics, his relationship with Magnus, his relationship with his friends—even his parents had been making more of an effort this year.

He was out. He was out to his friends, to his siblings, to the entire stupid school, and he was proud. He didn't think twice about kissing Magnus in the corridor. He didn't worry about what Sebastian and Camille would say if they saw him holding Magnus' hand. He'd stopped caring what they thought.

And yet, at the same time, it was all very bittersweet. Because come September, he'd have to leave his family behind. He'd still be in New York, and Magnus wanted to pursue a career in psychology, so they were going to the same university, but Jace and Clary were going all the way down to Los Angeles to attend university there, and his time would be limited—he wouldn't be able to see Isabelle or Max all that often.

And he still wasn't out to his parents. Despite what Magnus had said, despite what Magnus kept saying, despite Will and Jem reassuring him that coming out, especially to people who were homophobic, was always exceptionally difficult, and often took a long time, Alec couldn't help his frustration. He could see the disappointment flash in Magnus' eyes when they couldn't hang out at Alec's house unless his parents were out, or when they had to yank themselves apart and watch their every move when they were in the house together and Maryse or Robert came home.

Magnus deserved better than that. And Alec deserved better than that. He just wasn't sure how he could give it to them—either of them. Especially when Maryse and Robert disliked Magnus already, merely for the way he dressed. Not that Magnus particularly cared. In fact, he often applied his most colourful and glittery make-up and clothing when he knew he'd be seeing them, just to rub salt in the wound.

"Stop it," Magnus ordered sharply with another smack, this time to Alec's forearm, dragging Alec out of his thoughts to the present.

"What did I do?" Alec asked, blinking in confusion.

"You're thinking. You're worrying. Stop it. We're going to Pride. It's going to be fun. We're even dragging along Raphael and The Heterosexuals."

Alec's lips quirked up. "The Heterosexuals? You mean Jace and Clary?"

"Which other straight friends to we have?"

That was a fair point. Alec wasn't quite sure when his closest friends had all come out as various things that were most definitely not straight, but they had. He did, however, know that Isabelle was also struggling with how to tell their parents that she wasn't straight, and he knew that it was putting much more of a strain on her relationship with Lydia than it was his relationship with Magnus. Isabelle found it especially hard, because she didn't really use any labels. She went with 'queer', and that was as much as she said on the matter.

Which was just another reason Alec knew he needed to bite the bullet and be honest with his parents, soon. He had to do it first. He couldn't let his little sister take the leap of faith before he did. He had to be at the bottom, in case something went wrong during her jump down.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood, I swear to every deity out there, if you don't get out of your infuriating head..."

"You'll hit me again?" Alec suggested.

"I'll bring up the chips argument."

Alec groaned. "No."

"I will. So stop thinking. Stop stressing." Magnus appraised him for a moment. "Maybe next year you'll let me put some eyeliner on you."

"Maybe," Alec said, which was synonymous for, _oh, hell no_. "Are we done, now? Can we go?"

Magnus smiled at him. "Yep. Come on."

As Magnus grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the bedroom, hollering to Will and Jem that they were ready whenever they were, Alec took a moment to appraise Magnus. He'd donned a lot of pink, purple and blue for the occasion, was Alec's overwhelming impression. His tank top read 'I go both ways', and his shorts (tiny, purple, and very sparkly) were buckled with the bisexual symbol. He'd accessorised with a fluffy pink feather boa, an obscene number of necklaces and wristbands, a headband with 'bi' on the top in pink, purple and blue, and he'd painted his fingernails in the respective colours. By comparison, in mostly black, Alec felt very plain indeed.

"Hey, Alec?" Magnus asked, as they walked out the front door. "If I kissed you in the middle of the parade, would you kill me?"

Alec raised his eyebrows. "If that situation arose, I think I'd probably kiss you back."

Magnus' eyes lit up. "Just wondering," he chirruped.

Alec wasn't buying it. But he didn't care.

***

"Smile!" Isabelle shouted, holding her phone up in front of them, following a ten minute negotiation of position so that they could fit all ten of them into the frame to take a selfie. Clary and Isabelle had ended up in the front, Alec in the back because he could look over all their heads without even standing on his tiptoes.

"Finally," Raphael said, once Isabelle had snapped an array of photos from slightly different angles. "I thought that was going to take forever."

"Zip it," Isabelle said, waving her phone in Raphael's face. Simon ducked to avoid being hit. She'd dip-dyed her hair in the colours of the pansexual flag, and, even with his limited knowledge of fashion, Alec thought it looked pretty good. She certainly fit in with the rest of the crazy crowd they were in.

A pair of arms wrapped around his waist. He grinned down at Magnus, high off the joy and adrenaline at being a part of this. He'd felt a little uncomfortable about much PDA when Will and Jem were literally right behind them, earlier, but then Magnus' parents had hopped up onto an abandoned dais, cheered a group of drag queens strutting down the street, and shared a passionate kiss. Magnus had whooped along with everyone else in the vicinity.

"They do that every year," Magnus had told him. "It seems to be some kind of bizarre tradition."

Now, Magnus kissed his cheek, and said, "What do you think so far?"

"Honestly?" Alec's grin widened. "It's incredible. This is so much fun."

"I told you it would be," Magnus said, grinning right back at him. His make-up looked just as perfect as it had when he'd put it on this morning; Alec wondered how that was possible.

"Thank you for bringing me," Alec said, leaning in close, neither of them particularly caring that they were both sweaty from the heat and the huge number of people.

"Thank you for making this the best Pride parade I've ever been to."

Alec kissed him.

He'd meant it to be brief. He'd meant it to be fairly chaste. He just couldn't resist when Magnus was saying such sweet things, when he looked so absolutely and utterly fabulous, and when the atmosphere was so enthralling and people's joy and acceptance was so infectious.

But then Magnus nipped at his lower lip, and Alec's hands tightened on Magnus' hips, before sliding round the strip of skin between his tank top and shorts, tugging him flush against Alec. Magnus let out a tiny moan, burying his fingers in Alec's hair, and Alec was gone, kissing him hotly, fingers slipping over his skin, tongue delving between his lips.

Just as he was tightening his grip around Magnus' waist, reality came crashing back down on him when someone wolf-whistled, loudly. He broke apart from Magnus and glanced up, to see people cheering and watching them.

Alec flushed. Magnus laughed, loosening his hold a little.

"Okay," he said, "so that's one off my bucket list."

Alec buried his face in Magnus' shoulder in embarrassment. "Oh my god."

Magnus ran his fingers through his hair, shaking with laughter. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"My siblings just watched me making out with my boyfriend at a Pride parade. I'm mortified. This is nearly as bad as that time Max walked in on us."

"Aw, really?" Magnus pouted at him.

"I fucking hate you," Alec muttered, swooping down to kiss him again, with a little more restraint this time. It still got them another cheer.

It also, however, caused someone to shout, "Atone for your sins! You must atone!" behind them.

Alec snorted, not really giving a shit. They were in the middle of a Pride parade. What did they expect to happen? Magnus looked over Alec's shoulder and rolled his eyes. When Alec, too, glanced over, he saw a man dressed in a black priest's clothing, complete with the clerical collar.

"Sure!" Magnus hollered over at him. "After you atone for not be celibate!"

"Magnus," Alec said in an attempt at chastising him, laughing. "You can't say that!"

"Yeah, well," said an angry voice from behind them. "He can't say what he did, either. Hey, _coc oen_!"

Magnus and Alec stared after Will, mystified, as he marched up to the priest, fury written across his face, and started waving his hands about and ranting angrily in Welsh.

"Do you know what any of that means?" Magnus asked Jem, who had his arms crossed and was grinning proudly at his husband.

"Some of it," Jem said. " _Coc oen_ means, directly, lamb's cock."

"Cock, as in—"

"Yes, Magnus." Jem's eyebrows shot up suddenly as Will threw some other verbal insult that sounded so much more effective in Welsh at the priest, who appeared utterly bewildered. "And that- that was not very complimentary either."

Alec and Magnus exchanged a glance, and then looked away, both grinning.

"He's drunk, right?" Magnus asked.

"Somewhat," Jem said. "But also he's your dad, and some arsehole just told you you're going to hell for kissing your boyfriend. Your boyfriend whom we very much like." Alec blushed. "He's not exactly going to stand by and say nothing."

"So why aren't you yelling in Chinese?"

Jem rolled his eyes. "Because Will's got this covered, I think."

Jem was right. Within minutes, someone else who spoke Welsh had joined will in his verbal altercation, and they were slowly driving back the priest, who was desperately looking around for help. He wasn't going to find it, in the middle of thousands and thousands of people painted with rainbow flags.

"Well," Jem said, when Will and his newfound friend high-fived, bowed to the people who were applauding their show, and began to head back, "that was interesting."

Alec couldn't disagree.

***

"So," Magnus said late that night, once they'd taken their costumes off, had showers, changed into pyjamas, and crawled into bed. "How was your first Pride parade?"

Alec hid his grin in Magnus' shoulder. "Amazing."

"Hmm." Magnus reached down to kiss his nose. "How amazing?"

"Really, really amazing. You might even get me wearing eyeliner next year."

Magnus gasped. "Alexander!"

"I'm not promising anything," he said hastily. "But... Well. Everyone there dressed crazily, and acted crazily. Why shouldn't I be a bit crazy too?"

"Alec Lightwood, I love you more with every day."

Alec snuggled closer to him. "You get cheesier every day."

" _I love you too, Magnus,_ would have done just fine," Magnus grumbled, tucking his face into the crook of Alec's neck.

Alec dropped a kiss to the top of his head. "I love you too, Magnus."


	29. Past, Present, and Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big things happen. There's reminiscing. There's story-telling. If you go back to chapter 18, there's a scene in there that might suddenly made more sense.

**Prompt: in which your character is accepted by someone they never thought would accept them**

 

*******

 

It all started when Alec heard Isabelle and Lydia arguing, loudly and passionately, when he came home from a night in with Magnus. (They'd tried to finish the most recent episode of Supernatural. They'd ended up ignoring most of it in favour of making out.) Pausing outside the kitchen, unable to stop himself listening, Alec realised what their argument was about: Isabelle wasn't out to their parents, and Lydia hated hiding.

Lydia stormed out of the house furiously, clearly not even noticing that Alec had come home. He wrapped a sobbing Isabelle in his arms a moment later, mind whirring, the instinct to protect his sister pulsing through him.

It was Jace that he told first. While Jace was helping him clear out some of the clutter in his room in reparation for heading to university in September, Alec told him briefly about the argument he'd overheard, and then about his plan.

"Who are you doing this for, Alec?" Jace asked, pausing in the middle of chucking old textbooks in a box to be thrown away. "You, or her? Because if you're doing it for her, then it's my duty as your brother and your best friend to talk you out of it."

Alec sighed, leaning back on his heels where he'd crouched by his closet. The irony was not lost on him. "I'm doing it right now because of her, partly. Part of it is because I know Magnus doesn't like it, either."

Jace looked uncertain. "Alec—"

"But most of it," he said hastily, before Jace could start preaching at him, "is because I'm sick of hiding. I'm sick of having to make all my plans at Magnus' house because Mom and Dad are home. I'm sick of feeling on edge whenever we're here when they're out of town and we kiss or touch, because if they walk in I'm screwed. I'm sick of pretending Magnus is my friend. I'm sick of the way they look at him, because they don't realise how important he is to me. I'm just— I'm sick of it, Jace."

Jace looked at him for a long, hard moment, searching Alec's face, scrutinising his expression. Then, without a word, he set the books he was holding down, and pulled Alec in for a tight hug. Surprised, but not displeased, Alec hugged him back just as firmly, surprised to feel tears prick at his eyes.

"If this is what _you_ want," Jace said, "then I support you, one hundred percent. I'm here if you need me."

Alec smiled as they pulled back, and ruffled Jace's hair. "I know you are."

"I love you, Alec. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah." Alec bit his lip, and nudged Jace with his shoulder. "I love you too."

For once, they didn't joke about it. Jace just nudged him back, clapped his shoulder, and let Alec change the subject back to clearing out his room a bit, and whether or not Jace thought there was any point keeping a bunch of math things from last year.

***

The only other person he told, ahead, of time, was Magnus. Because Magnus was his boyfriend, very, very involved in this, and deserved to know. Besides which, keeping things from Magnus was the hardest thing in the world: he wanted to tell Magnus everything, share everything with him, relive things with him. He wanted Magnus to know about his life. And he wanted to know about Magnus'.

They were lounging on the sofa downstairs in Will and Jem's living room, stacking up the empty boxes of Chinese take-out they'd ordered in on the table. Or, rather, Alec was. Magnus had rested his head in Alec's lap the moment he'd finished eating, closed his eyes, and curled up in that adorable cat-like way of his.

Alec smiled down at him. "Tired?" he asked, running his fingers through Magnus' hair.

"Mmm." Magnus snuggled himself more firmly against Alec, and rested one arm loosely around his waist.

"Can I tell you something?" Alec asked, recognising that Magnus was genuinely exhausted, not just feeling lazy. This conversation could wait for a few hours, if he wanted to have a nap.

Magnus cracked his eyes open. "Go ahead."

"It can wait."

"No, go on." Magnus was looking at him properly now, though he hadn't sat up from his position resting in Alec's lap. "I'm listening."

Alec licked his lips nervously, still stroking his fingers through Magnus' hair absentmindedly. "Don't yell at me," he said. "Let me explain."

Magnus frowned. "Why would I yell at you?"

Alec shrugged.

"When have I _ever_ yelled at you?" Magnus added.

"No, I know, I know, just..." Alec sighed. "I want to come out to my parents. When they come back. Tomorrow."

Magnus' lips parted, eyes widening. He sat up; Alec dropped his hand from Magnus' hair as Magnus knelt next to him on the sofa.

"Are you serious?" Magnus asked, sounding a little bit incredulous. "You want to tell your parents that you're gay, _tomorrow_?"

"Yeah." Alec picked at the hem of his shirt, disconcerted by Magnus' reaction. He couldn't quite tell what Magnus thought about this. "I'm just...so tired of hiding. I want to be honest. And I'm leaving for university in a few weeks anyway, so if it goes really badly, I can just...leave."

"Hey, no." Magnus cupped his face in both hands, and leant in to press a kiss to his forehead. When he pulled back to speak, he caught Alec's gaze; Alec couldn't look away. "It's not going to go really badly, but if it were to go wrong, if you think I'm going to be anywhere but right by you the whole time, supporting you however you need me to, you're wrong." He smiled a little. "We're in this together, Alexander, okay?"

Alec nodded. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"Anything."

"Just...be on call? In case I—" Alec inhaled deeply, and swallowed his pride. "In case I need you."

"I'm always here if you need me." Magnus brushed his hair back from his forehead. "Always."

"Okay." Alec sighed. "I'm scared about doing this."

"It is scary. But it'll work out fine, somehow."

 _Somehow_.

***

Maryse and Robert Lightwood came home late that night. The next morning, he woke to a good luck text from Magnus, full of love and reassurances that he was there for Alec. It lifted Alec's spirits a little, and eased the churning nervousness in his stomach.

Isabelle and Max were both out for the day. Jace had agreed that Alec should talk to Robert and Maryse on his own, but he'd be upstairs, just a text away if Alec needed support. Alec had already typed out the string of emojis they'd agreed on—all he'd have to do was hit send.

When he went downstairs, Maryse and Robert were both sitting at the kitchen table, mugs of coffee in front of them, reading the newspaper—Robert the paper copy, and Maryse on her phone. A plate of toast sat in the middle of the table, looking largely untouched.

Robert looked up when Alec walked in. "Morning," he said.

"Hi." Alec shuffled towards the coffee machine; he felt both his parents watching him as he grabbed a mug from the cupboard and made his coffee. It was cringing and uncomfortable enough as it was—he didn't need them staring and scrutinising, too.

"Toast?" Maryse offered, pushing the plate towards him as he sat down.

"I'm good."

Silence.

"Jace awake yet?" Robert asked.

"Uh, I don't know." Lie. He was awake. Which was unusual for Jace, especially on a Saturday. He hated getting up before eleven, and it wasn't yet ten.

They were quiet again. Alec swigged his coffee too quickly, burning his tongue and scalding his throat, but he didn't care much, at that moment. It was a welcome distraction from the thoughts and worries running through his mind. His parents hated the LGBT+ community. They were always insulting them and bad-mouthing them. How the hell would they react to what he was going to say? They'd just hate him.

But there was no use stressing about it. Because he had to tell them. He couldn't lie for the rest of his life. He couldn't make himself lie for any longer. He'd go insane. And eventually, he'd be having the same arguments with Magnus that Isabelle was having with Lydia.

They'd react however they'd react. But he had friends. All his friends supported him. His friends, his siblings, his boyfriend, his boyfriend's family... He had people who loved him unconditionally. So he hoped, prayed, that his parents weren't going to hate him forever. But if they did, he wouldn't be alone.

Which was more than could be said for so many gay people of his age in the world.

He was one of the luckier ones. Maybe not the luckiest, but definitely luckier than most.

"I need to tell you something," Alec blurted out.

Maryse and Robert both looked up, eyebrows raised. God, they'd been married for so long they pulled the same facial expressions. It was a little bit unnerving, especially with the way they managed to give absolutely nothing away before they were ready to.

"What is it?" Maryse prompted him after a moment.

Alec looked between them, swallowing. This was it. If he said it, he could never take it back. He could ruin his relationship with his parents forever, potentially. But if he didn't say it, he'd have to live a lie—and he couldn't do that. Not to Magnus. Not to the rest of his community. And more importantly, not to _himself_.

He inhaled deeply, then let it out again slowly.

"I'm dating someone," he said, which wasn't at all what he'd planned to say. Typical. He'd thought so carefully about how to do this, and he'd gone and screwed it up at the first hurdle. But it could have been a worse thing, that he'd let slip out. He could work with this. He just had to calm the fuck down, because right now his heart was pounding and his hands were trembling and sweaty, and he was struggling to breathe evenly.

Maryse was looking at him as though he was insane. Robert had a very odd sort of look on his face that Alec didn't quite understand.

"Okay," his mother said, slowly. "Unless you're trying to tell me she's pregnant, then there's no need to look so terrified."

"No, I—" Alec exhaled. God forbid he ever tried to explain that Magnus was transgender. That would go down really goddamn well. "That's the thing. There– There's no she."

"I don't follow," Maryse said. Both his parents had put their newspapers down, and were giving Alec their undivided attention. For once. Usually he only got that when he was being ranted at, or lectured, or told off.

"There's no she because I'm gay. I'm dating a guy."

There. He'd said it. It was out. _He_ was out.

And oh, holy fuck, it felt so good to finally say it.

Maryse and Robert were both staring at him blankly, as though they couldn't quite comprehend what he'd just said. Then, suddenly, Maryse's eyes were glistening with tears, and she lifted a hand to her mouth and shook her head.

Alec's heart sank. _Fuck_.

He glanced over to his father. To Alec's surprise, Robert didn't look as horrified as Maryse did. He looked worried. He looked calculating. He looked sad. But it all tinged with a strange sort of fondness. The kind of fondness people got when they were reminiscing about someone they loved.

Maryse wiped at her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, breaking the painful silence that had descended on the room. "I'm sorry, Alec."

Alec chewed on the inside of his cheek. Sorry for what, exactly?

"It's okay," Robert said, letting all his breath out in a rush. "It's okay. We're not angry."

Alec felt hope bloom in his chest, bright and painful. "You're not?"

"No." Maryse touched his hand with hers. "No, Alec."

"And you're not going to...send me to conversion therapy?"

To Alec's shock, Robert chuckled. "No, not that either."

"But..." Alec looked back and forth between them, Maryse's hand still atop his. She still had tears in her eyes, and they both looked upset, but they were so calm. And they weren't angry. Not at all. "I don't understand. You– You hate gay people."

Robert exhaled. "No," he said. "No. We don't. We find it hard to accept them, but we don't hate them." He shook his head. "My best friend - your godfather - was gay."

It was Alec's turn to stare, in absolute and utter bewilderment. Robert had been friends with someone who was gay? And this man had been his godfather? Who the hell was he? And why didn't Alec know him? Had he died? Had they fallen out?

"This is a sad story," Maryse said. "But you can hear it. If you want to."

Still mute with shock, all Alec could do was nod.

"His name was Michael Wayland," Robert said. "I met him when I started high school. He was my best friend for years. He was my best man when we got married."

Alec watched his father, who had his gaze fixed someone in the distance, clearing peering back into another time, a past that Alex had not been a part of. It was strange. Alec didn't think he'd ever seen his father look so...human.

"He told me he was in love with me," Robert said. "When we graduated, he told me he was in love with me, and I was horrified. I pushed him away. I said things that I will regret for my entire life. Then I didn't speak to him for two years. And when I tried to rekindle, he had a boyfriend, and he was out, and he made it very clear to me that if I wanted anything to do with him, I had to accept this part of him.

"So I did. I won't pretend it was easy, because it wasn't. I didn't agree with it. I thought it was wrong. But Michael...Michael was willing to help me get over that. He was patient. He didn't stand for any crap from me, but he understood that it's hard to change your beliefs, even if you want to.

"He was my best man when we got married." Robert glanced over at Maryse, who smiled at him. "And when you were born, we made him your godfather."

"So why have I never known him?" Alec couldn't help but ask. "Why do you never talk about him?"

"Because," Maryse said, squeezing his hand, "having a gay friend was one thing. But it was more than that."

"He contracted HIV," Robert said with a sigh. "The year before you were born, he told us. The year after you were born, he died."

"I'm so sorry," Alec murmured, because, whatever else, it was clear that Michael had meant a lot to his father.

Robert smiled sadly. "Me too. Because when Michael died— Well. No. When Michael got HIV, it exacerbated all my prejudices. It made me bitter, and angry. Angry at the gay community. And I've never gotten over it."

"I don't get it," Alec said, frowning. "Why?"

"Because if he hadn't been gay, and if he hadn't had sex with men," Maryse said, "then the likelihood of Michael dying in the AIDS epidemic would have been so much lower. Being gay killed him."

" _Oh_ ," Alec breathed, the lightbulb suddenly going on in his head. "That's why— _Oh_. You're bitter. You think it's their fault that he died. Our fault. You think being gay is dangerous, because of what happened to Michael. You were brought up to think it's wrong, and then Michael died because of a disease that correlated with being men who have sex with men, and that seemed like a logical reason to dislike gay people. You're angry that he died, and it's easier to hate and be angry and blame someone than to feel unending sorrow that's never going to leave."

"Something like that," Robert said.

God, everything made so much more sense now.

"So you don't hate me?" Alec asked, because he needed to be sure. "For being gay?"

"No," his parents replied in unison.

Alec relaxed. It was okay. He'd come out to his parents, and they didn't hate him. It was fine. It was okay. And maybe he'd even given them a reason to try to get over their old bitterness over Michael Wayland.

"Just be careful," Robert said. "Please."

"I know what a condom is, and I know how to use one," Alec said, flushing. "I'm eighteen."

"Michael was twenty-three."

With his entire face burning crimson, Alec said, "Oh my god, Dad, I'm in a monogamous relationship and we're both virgins. Please stop."

Robert chuckled a little. He looked a bit uncomfortable, Alec thought. Uncomfortable, and almost a little disappointed. They both did. But uncomfortable he could deal with. And disappointed wasn't the end of the world. At least they seemed to be trying

"So," Maryse said, "who is it you're dating?"

"Magnus."

"Magnus?" She pulled a face, and, just like that, the kindness she'd worn for the last twenty minutes was gone. "Magnus Bane?"

Irritation flashed through him, her comment immediately putting him on the defensive. "Yes, Magnus Bane," he said coldly. "Is that a problem?"

"His dress sense is a little...alarming."

"Why don't you judge him based on something substantial rather than something that has nothing to do with you?" Alec snapped. "Like whether he's polite, or whether he's good to me, or whether he's supportive?"

Maryse held up her hands. "Alright, I'm sorry."

Alec gaped at her.

"How long has this been going on?" Robert asked.

"Since February. Last February."

Robert raised his eyebrows. "Are you two...in love?"

Alec flushed again, and smiled shyly at the table, unable to help himself. "Yeah."

"They are revoltingly, sickeningly in love," Jace said from the doorway. "Really. It's vile."

Alec rolled his eyes. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Two minutes? Does it matter?" Jace looked over at Maryse and Robert, but didn't say anything. "I'm only down here because Magnus called me. He's worrying about you."

Alec looked pointedly at Maryse, who shrugged. "Thanks, Jace."

***

Twenty minutes later, having texted Magnus to tell him what had happened, Alec dashed across the road to where Magnus was standing in the park waiting for him, and threw his arms around Magnus' neck, laughing loudly. Magnus hugged him tightly, fingers digging into his sides, his own smile huge.

"It was fine," Alec whispered. "I'm fine. Everything's fine. Everything's great. I still– God, I still can't believe that just happened."

"Believe it, Alexander." Magnus kissed his cheek. "You did it. And it's all okay."

Alec let out a relieved laugh. "It's all okay." His smile dropped a little—not because he felt any less elated, but because there was another feeling overpowering it, as he stood wrapped in Magnus' arms, gazing down at his boyfriend, giddy with happiness. "I love you, so much," Alec whispered.

"I love you too, Alexander. And you have no idea how proud of you I am."

They kissed, there, in the middle of the park, arms around each other; Alec had never felt more content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. That happened.
> 
> Also, there are, technically, six extra, optional prompts in this Pride challenge. I wasn't going to do them, but as there's been such an amazing response to this story (THANK YOU!! <3) I'm going to write six extra chapters. They'll be extras, and they'll be shorter, but that means I'll keep updating into July. 
> 
> But the main story finishes next chapter. Happy Pride, everyone!


	30. Hold On (The Sort-Of Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sort-of epilogue, set about eighteen months after the last chapter. Features all recurring couples, and mentions side couples.

**Prompt: in which your character buys a cat**

 

 

*******

 

  
"Magnus?" Alec called out as he walked through the front door, rucksack slung over one shoulder, a carrier bag in his other hand. "I'm home."

"Alexander." Magnus appeared from the bedroom, slamming the door shut, looking frazzled. "Hi."

Alec frowned at him. "What are you doing in there?"

"Nothing," Magnus said, far too quickly. "What's that? Ooh, is that from the little Ethiopian place?"

After dropping his rucksack on the floor, Alec pulled the bag back from his boyfriend before Magnus could peer into the bag, and side-stepped him to get to the kitchen. He was suspicious. They'd only lived in this apartment together for a month (though they'd shared a dormitory during their first year at university, so it wasn't like living together was a new thing) and Alec had already had to veto a fluffy pink couch, an extortionately expensive stereo system, and plans for a walk-in wardrobe, and Magnus had his guilty face on.

All he needed to do was wait for Magnus to confess.

Magnus followed him into the kitchen, hands together in front of him, fiddling with his rings. Which was a sure sign that he was nervous, and hiding something. And Magnus hadn't had a class since ten o'clock this morning, so he'd had all day to cause mischief or set up his own branch of glittery Sephora or something equally insane.

Wait. What if he'd planned something? What if Alec was being unfair because he'd had a really, really frustrating day? (University might contain less morons than high school, but people still infuriated him sometimes.)

Alec set the bag of take-out down, and turned to Magnus, softening his expression when he saw Magnus watching him worriedly, still twisting his rings round and round his fingers.

"What are you up to?" he asked, smiling a little.

"You know I have a weakness for sweet, adorable things such as yourself?"

Alec stared at him, mystified. "If this is the moment you tell me you accidentally hooked up with the woman downstairs who keeps flirting with you, I'm burning all of your eyeliner."

He was joking. Magnus knew he was joking; he chuckled, and shook his head. "I wouldn't be stupid enough to risk my make-up. It's expensive."

"Of course that's the reason."

Magnus winked at him, before the smile dropped off his face and he sighed. "Please don't be angry with me."

Alec raised his eyebrows. "I don't know what you've done, yet. You're making me worried. Please just tell me."

"I—" Magnus shook his head. "I'd rather show you."

Magnus grabbed his hand before Alec had a chance to reply, and dragged him out of their little kitchen towards the bedroom. The bedroom contained the only luxury that Alec had given into, because he, like Magnus, had wanted it enough to sacrifice half his and Magnus' savings for it. The four poster bed, currently covered with silky red sheets that had been a bizarre Christmas present from Will and Jem, stood proud in the middle of their bedroom. It was the most comfortable thing Alec had ever lain on.

Sunlight streamed through the window, which was shut tightly against the evening cold. It took Alec a moment to realise what Magnus had wanted to show him. In the middle of the bed, perched atop one of their many pillows (because Magnus was a _complete_ pillow princess), was a tiny, tiny little kitten. It was a tabby, and presumably not very many weeks old, covered in fluffy fur, its eyes wide. It let out a plaintive meow when it spotted Alec and Magnus.

"Magnus." Alec turned to his boyfriend. "Did you buy a cat?"

"No." Magnus looked sheepish. "I found it when I was walking home. It was cold and shivering and wet from when it rained earlier, and..." He trailed off. "I'm sorry."

Alec shook his head, and walked slowly over to the bed. He sat down on the edge, and held his hand out for the kitten to sniff at. After a few moments of deliberation, it meowed again, and licked Alec's finger. He lifted his hand to scratch the top of its head gently with his fingers, heart melting. He understood why Magnus hadn't been able to leave it. It was the most adorable animal Alec and ever seen.

He glanced back at Magnus over his shoulder. Magnus was still playing absently with his rings, watching the scene in front of him. Alec held out his hand; Magnus padded towards the bed, barefoot, his toenails painted dark purple to match his fingernails. Fondness shot through Alec as Magnus grasped his hand, and sat down beside him.

"Are you angry?"

Alec looked at Magnus like he was insane. "That the most adorable creature in the world is sitting on my bed because my boyfriend is a huge softie who loves fluffy things? No. Of course not." His attention was drawn away from Magnus when the kitten head-butted his hand, prompting him back into his stroking. His lips tugged upwards at the kitten's behaviour. "If we're keeping...him?" Alec paused. "Yeah, him. If we're keeping him, he needs a name."

When he looked up at Magnus, Magnus was grinning. "Are you serious? We can keep him?"

Alec nodded, smiling at Magnus' behaviour. "I think we can probably manage to look after a cat, don't you?"

Magnus hummed, reaching out to stroke the kitten. "I used to have a cat. In Indonesia."

"Really? What was its name?"

" _Gereja_. Which means Church, in English. It was the grumpiest cat I've ever met." He was quiet for a moment, then said, "I've always wanted to name a cat Chairman Meow."

"Chairman Meow?" Alec repeated, trying not to laugh. "Why?"

Magnus shrugged. "Because it's such a stupid name for a cat that it's an awesome name for a cat."

"Alright." Alec hid his grin by ducking his head down. "Chairman Meow, it is. I think he might need to grow into that name."

Magnus leant into Alec's side. "I thought you were going to say no."

Alec made a _psh_ noise. "I'm only human, Magnus. How exactly do you expect me to resist something so precious?"

"True. Now you know how it felt to fall in love with you."

Alec rolled his eyes. "I'm not precious."

"To me, you are," Magnus said.

And Alec melted all over again, flushing a little, because even after he'd been with Magnus for nearly three years, things like that still got to him. Magnus had all these flamboyant mannerisms, tying people up in complex sentences and flowery language, and yet when he said things like that, it was so straightforward, and so honest.

Alec leant over Chairman Meow, fingers stilling in the kitten's fur, and kissed Magnus sweetly, the kiss lingering and meaningful.

"You're such a sap," Alec whispered.

"You love me anyway."

"No," Alec said, and kissed him again. "I love you because of it. I love you because I am in love with every part of you."

Magnus' eyes slipped shut, and he exhaled, a smile tugging at his lips. "I love you too."

***

Somewhere across the city, Lydia Branwell trailed her fingers gently along the just-visible veins running up and down Isabelle's arms. Isabelle had her eyes closed, laid back on the sofa, hair spread around her head like a dark halo, a smile twitching at the corners of her lips.

Isabelle flipped her hand over suddenly and pressed her palm against Lydia's. She could feel Lydia's pulse tripping in her wrist, fluttering and nervous.

It was strange. She and Lydia had broken up not all that long after Lydia had graduated from high school, and Isabelle had been stuck in her parents' home for another two years. Part of it was the strain of a long distance relationship. Part of it was because Lydia had loathed the continual hiding. She'd hated feeling like she was back in the closet every time she saw Isabelle. Because even though Alec had come out to their parents, and told her everything that had happened, Isabelle couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Because she didn't really know what she was. She didn't know what she'd say. Bisexual? Pansexual? Queer? Lover of people? They were all true. She usually went with queer, but she didn't think her parents would get the subtleties of that.

But then she'd walked into a party Magnus had decided to throw over the summer in celebration of... Well. She wasn't exactly sure what it had been in celebration of. He'd had a reason at the time. She couldn't remember.

(It didn't matter. It had been an amazing party anyway, even if Alec had hidden in the corner all evening until Magnus had gone over there and made him laugh and given him all these sweet little kisses until he was blushing and embarrassed and _glowing_. Isabelle had been desperate to take a picture and stick the heart-eye emojis next to their faces, because she couldn't think of anything more appropriate.)

Anyway, she'd walked in, and Lydia had been standing there, in the middle of the room, chatting to Clary and Jace, who'd flown back from Los Angeles for the summer. Smiling, dressed in silver and red, Isabelle was certain she'd never seen anything more beautiful.

It wasn't like she hadn't dated in the time she and Lydia had been separated. It had been nearly two years. She had dated. She just hadn't found anything that quite matched up to what she'd had with Lydia.

Simon, in the end, was the one who'd persuaded her to go over and talk to her ex-girlfriend. By the end of the night, they'd both admitted that they were single, and had agreed to catch up properly when they weren't slightly drunk the next day.

Their catch up had turned into a date. And then one date had turned into two, and three, and then there'd been a kiss, and then the kiss had turned into a lot more than that, and Isabelle had woken with her arms around Lydia, and she hadn't felt more content than she did when Lydia's eyes fluttered open and she smiled in a long, long time.

So while this, between them, was familiar, it was also new. Familiar, because they'd done this before. But they'd both changed. They'd both matured. Isabelle had come out to her parents in the intermission. (She'd begged Alec to be there with her, when she'd done it. He hadn't said a word, until Maryse started talking about her being a lesbian, and then he'd lectured them about sexuality not being binary. She'd been impressed by her brother.) Lydia had made peace with herself.

Now, they were lounging in Lydia's apartment. Isabelle, only in her first year at university, still lived in the dormitories, but she'd been spending more and more time at Lydia's place in the last few months.

"What are you thinking?" Lydia whispered, hovering over Isabelle on the sofa.

Isabelle opened her eyes, and smiled. "That I love you."

Lydia's eyes softened, and she tucked Isabelle's hair behind her ear. "I love you too, Isabelle Lightwood."

"Do you need me to leave soon?"

"No. Only if you want to. Or need to."

Isabelle shook her head, and reached up to wind her arms around Lydia's neck. "No," she murmured. "I don't have anywhere to be except here."

Lydia kissed her forehead, and then kissed her nose, and then stole her lips in a searing, heated kiss that had Isabelle gasping and shuddering in an embarrassingly short amount of time. She tightened her grip on her girlfriend, and Lydia slid her hands underneath Isabelle's thighs, lifting her up into Lydia's lap.

"Are we having couch sex?" Isabelle asked, tipping her head back as Lydia began to kiss and nip down the side of her neck.

"Can you be bothered to go all the way to the bedroom?" she breathed against Isabelle's collarbone.

"Not really."

"Well, then, there you go."

Lydia leant in to kiss her, but Isabelle pulled back, and smirked. Lydia looked at her in confusion.

"I don't think so," she said, climbing up off Lydia's lap. She braced her hands on the sofa either side of Lydia's shoulders, feet firmly on the floor, and moved in, stopping before her body could touch Lydia's. "My turn, first."

Cheeks flushed red, Lydia let out a choked laugh, throwing her head back against the sofa when Isabelle pulled back and yanked her tank top over her head. "I hate you."

"No," Isabelle said confidently, "you really don't, babe."

***

"You are absolutely impossible, Simon Lewis," Raphael said, glaring at his boyfriend.

"I know." Simon winked at him from where he was, kneeling on the floor. "But go on. Say yes."

Raphael bit down on his lip. Yes? Yes sounded...yes sounded like he was committing to an awful lot. Yes sounded long-term. Yes sounded irreversible. Yes was more than a little bit intimidating. But there was Simon, down on their threadbare carpet, hair as hopelessly tousled as it always was, eyes shining beautifully.

Who was Raphael to say no to that?

"Fine," Raphael huffed. "Fine."

"Yes!" Simon jumped up, and dragged Raphael in for a kiss. Raphael stumbled against him, caught off-guard as Simon kissed him enthusiastically, arms warm and firm around Raphael's waist.

Raphael had a weakness for that—when Simon would wrap him in his arms and hold him close, and press those sweet little kisses to his cheeks. He'd pretend to grumble about being smothered, and Simon would laugh, seeing right through his pretence, and smother him with even more affection. Alec and Magnus thought they were the most grotesque and lovey couple in all of New York (and, frankly, Raphael was happy to let them have that tittle—he didn't feel that his love for Simon should be forced on everybody else in such a visible, nauseating way) but, in private, he thought he and Simon would probably give them a run for their money. Hardly ever having sex tended to leave them relying on other ways to show their love for each other.

"You are–" kiss "–seriously–" kiss "–the world's–" kiss "–best boyfriend–" kiss "– _ever_."

Rolling his eyes, Raphael said, "If I'd known agreeing to a Star Wars marathon would make you this happy, I'd have done it a long time ago."

"Awww," Simon said, grinning. "Who knew you were such a romantic, Raph?"

" _No_." Raphael wrinkled his nose. "No. Just– No. Not that name."

"What, _Raph_?" Simon teased him, nuzzling his nose against Raphael's cheek, hair tickling Raphael's forehead. "I think it's cute."

"You're awful. I hate you. Passionately. We're breaking up."

"Well that's a little melodramatic." Simon kissed him again, this time on the tip of his nose. "Especially after all my efforts to get you agree to my marathon."

Raphael groaned. "You bribed me."

"I did not."

"You did. Telling me you'll sleep on the couch for the rest of the week if I don't say yes is bribery."

Simon pondered this. "I'd say it's more bullying than bribery. You know, I wasn't really offering you anything. I was just...threatening. But I was also joking."

Raphael sighed. "I know. Which makes it even worse, because I still gave in."

"Ah, well." Simon smiled brightly. "I'm adorable. How can you resist?"

"You're infuriating, is what you are."

"Infuriatingly amazing."

"Who are we talking about, Lewis? Me or you?"

Simon laughed. "Does it matter? Does it make any difference?"

Raphael looked at him for a long moment, then said, "No. No, I suppose not."

"Oh, you sap." Simon's expression was suddenly soft as he ran his knuckles over Raphael's cheek. "I love you."

Raphael smiled, and leant into his touch. "I love you too."

"Even when I bully you into watching hours of Star Wars with me?"

"Even then."

***

Later that night, Magnus and Alec lay in bed, tangled together under under the sheets, clothes strewn in a line along the floor leading from the sofa to their bed. Magnus rested half on top of Alec, face tucked into Alec's neck, Alec's arms tight around him, warm and secure.

"I love you," Magnus mumbled, not lifting his head. "And not just because of sex. Even if that was amazing."

Alec laughed quietly, running his hand up and down Magnus' back. "I love you too."

They were quiet for a moment, Alec gliding his fingers across Magnus' skin absently, Magnus heavy but not uncomfortable against him, both of them content to lay there in silence with their own thoughts.

As it was, they were both thinking similar things. That they were lucky to have what they had together. That they'd never thought they'd be able to have this with someone. That they'd certainly never thought everything would have worked out so damn near perfectly.

Alec dropped a kiss to Magnus' forehead. "Do you ever wonder about the future?" he murmured.

Magnus shifted against him, pulling away just enough to prop himself up above Alec on one elbow; the position allowed Alec to keep one arm around Magnus' waist. "Sometimes," Magnus said, dragging his fingertip along Alec's lower lip—not particularly in a sexual way, just in a close, familiar, intimate sort of way. "Why do you ask?"

"I just wondered." Alec licked his lips. "I guess I'm worried about it. Everything is so incredible at the moment, and I don't- I don't want to lose it all."

Magnus rested his hand along Alec's jawline. "Things change, darling."

"I know. There are just...some things that I really don't want to change. Ever."

"Like what?"

Alec bit his lip. "Like this. Us."

"Is that what you're worrying about?"

"Partly," Alec said, flushing a little in the dim light. He hoped Magnus couldn't really tell. But Magnus probably knew him well enough to know exactly what would and wouldn't make him blush. "I'm so happy with you, Magnus. I'm happy with my life at the moment. I'm scared that something's going to come along and mess everything up."

"Well," Magnus said, slowly, "I can't promise that nothing's ever going to change. Life isn't always going to be absolutely blissful."

"I know," Alec said quickly, before he sounded too ungrateful. "I know it's hard sometimes. Just—"

"I understand," Magnus said. Alec believed him. If anyone would understand, it was Magnus. "Sometimes the thought of losing something is so horrific and incomprehensible it feels like you're going to suffocate when you consider it."

"Yeah," Alec said softly, avoiding Magnus' haze in an attempt not to make it too obvious which particular something he was thinking of.

Magnus' light touch on his cheek became firmer. "Alexander," he said, making Alec look up at him. "This—I don't think this is going to change any time soon. This feels too real. It feels too incredible. And we've got through so many hard things already." He smiled. "I think I'm in this for the long run."

Lips parted a little, Alec's face relaxed out of its frown and stretched into a smile. "Really?"

"Really."

"Me too," Alec whispered. "Me too."

"That's good," Magnus said, and kissed him lightly. "Thank you, Alec. For everything."

"Thank you for the same."

They kissed again, long and slow and lingering, hands soft and gentle on each other, reassuring each other without words. It would be okay. They knew it would be okay. It would be more than okay. Because they were in this - this crazy, unpredictable journey of life - together. They had each other to hold onto, and they weren't going to let go. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only sort of over :) Six extra little bits for you coming over the next week! I won't necessarily do the daily updates for those, but I'll update at least once every two days.
> 
> Also, side note, I have written 70,000 words this month, what.


	31. (+1) To You To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon's got a new obsession. Raphael thinks it's adorable.

**Prompt: in which your character sings to Taylor Swift**

 

 

*******

 

 

" _Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?_  
You put your arm around me for the first time  
You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter  
You are the best thing that’s ever been mine!"

Raphael raised his eyebrows, glancing up from his phone, as Simon drove through the slowly-moving New York traffic, singing along suddenly to Taylor Swift. Not the kind of humming, muttering, shyly-grinning singing that Simon usually did—this was loud and shameless, and he was bashing out the rhythm of the song on the steering wheel.

"Are you alright?" Raphael asked, amused by his boyfriend's behaviour.

" _Do you remember all the city lights on the water?_ " Simon sung, looking over at him and quirking an eyebrow. " _You saw me start to believe for the first time._ "

Raphael bit down on the inside of his cheek in an attempt to quell his smile, but the sight of Simon like that, so free and unashamed, made it a near-impossible task. Simon Lewis was fucking adorable, and if anyone tried to disagree, Raphael would hit them.

" _You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter_ –" Simon pointed at Raphael "– _You are the best thing that’s ever been mine!_ "

Raphael burst out laughing, unable to help himself. " _Eres muy dulce, Simon._ "

_You are very sweet, Simon._

" _Graçias, mi amor._ "

Simon would make an amazing teacher, when he qualified, Raphael thought. He'd be that crazy, charismatic high school teacher, whom everyone secretly loved, even if they pretended not to.

Ten minutes later, they pulled up outside Raphael's mother's house. As per usual, the moment Raphael unlocked the front door and they crossed the threshold, Guadalupe was there to wrap them both in a fierce hug. Raphael smiled to himself at the sight of his mother hugging his boyfriend tightly, whispering something in his ear, before she let him go and moved to hug her son.

It had taken some time, for Guadalupe to accept Raphael's sexuality. But then, it had taken Raphael a long time to accept it, too, and he'd had Simon to help him along when things got too difficult. He didn't blame her. He certainly didn't harbour any resentment for the things she'd once said. It would be easy to hate her for it, except she'd really, genuinely believed that by dating men he'd be damning himself.

So Raphael had sought to prove to her that his relationship with Simon could be just as holy and sacred as a relationship between a man and a woman. (It helped, Raphael thought, that Simon was Jewish. Not because either of them made the time to go to Church every week, but because Simon's beliefs and morals were not too different to Guadalupe's own—if a little modernised.)

Seeing her murmuring secretively in Simon's ear like that, words that only Simon was supposed to hear, only confirmed what Raphael already knew. His mother loved Simon. Even if it had been hard for her to accept this, she had accepted it now.

"Lunch is nearly ready," she told them. "Make yourselves at home."

Simon thanked her, charming as he always was in that slightly awkward, geeky way of his. Raphael smiled again, and pulled him close, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Okay?" Simon asked his, squeezing his waist lightly.

"More than," Raphael said, and kissed him on the nose this time. "One day you might realise how much you've done for me."

Simon blinked in surprise. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Raphael shrugged. "If I hadn't met you that night— Well. I don't know if I'd ever have been able to get through this on my own. I might have...given in. To my mother."

Simon glanced out towards the kitchen, where Raphael could see Guadalupe humming along to the radio as she sashayed about in the kitchen. He took Raphael's hand in his, fiddling with his fingers absently.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for," Simon told him. "I thought– The first time I saw you, I thought you'd have thrown yourself off a bridge by the next morning. That's why I spoke to you."

"I know," Raphael said. "And the fact that you care so much is part of why I fell in love with you."

Simon smiled a little. It had to be a serious conversation, if Raphael was being sappy like that without any sarcastic little comments.

"But you weren't," Simon said softly. "You weren't suicidal. You were angry. You were upset. You've never needed anybody else to validate your feelings and opinions. You're so confident in yourself, Raphael Santiago, regardless of what other people think."

Raphael blinked rapidly in an attempt to dispel the tears stinging in his eyes, and shot Simon a weak smile. "You have so much faith in me, _mi amor_."

"Because you deserve it."

"Please," Raphael said, "just accept that you are the best thing that ever happened to me."

Simon shook his head. "No."

Raphael rolled his eyes. " _Dios_ , Simon, you were serending me with the same words not thirty minutes ago. Fine.  _One_ of the best things."

"Alright." Simon leant forwards and kissed him lightly on the mouth. "I might be able to live up to one of the best."

With a sigh, Raphael disentangled himself from his boyfriend and dragged him gently out of the hallway and into the kitchen. Simon was laughing behind him.

"Simon has a new obsession," Raphael announced, shooting Simon a wicked smirk while his mother's back was turned.

"Oh?" Guadalupe turned, a twinkle in her eyes. "What's that?"

Simon glared at him.

"Taylor Swift," Raphael said. "He was singing very enthusiastically while we drove down here."

Guadalupe laughed.

 _I hate you_ , Simon mouthed at him.

"I know," Raphael whispered in his ear.

Simon groaned. "You're awful."

"I know that too."

The sound of Guadalupe chuckling at their antics rang in Raphael's ears as he leant forwards and kissed Simon's cheek, dropping him a flirty wink when he pulled back. Simon's cheeks flushed pink at the gesture. Really, was it any wonder that Raphael had fallen in love with him?


	32. (+2) You Are A Genuine Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone wins tickets to see Elton John. Certain people are very excited. Certain others are not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I actually have the last chapters for this written. I was doing Camp NaNo during July, and it was kicking my butt. That's my only excuse for not updating. I'm also working on some new things, including stuff for Malec Week 2016! 
> 
> This is complete trash (take that as you will, pun intended).

**Prompt: In which your your character wins tickets to see Elton John**

 

***

 

"What the hell?" Alec demanded, pulling out the two long, shining tickets from where he'd just unwrapped his cheeseburger, two days after Christmas.

Isabelle leant over the table and snatched the things out of Alec's hand, crowing loudly when she saw what they were.

Honestly, of all the things he could have won in a fucking McDonald's cheeseburger...

"Simon!" Isabelle called down to where Simon and Raphael were pretending they weren't very obviously holding hands underneath the table. "Catch!"

She tossed the tickets towards the couple. Simon didn't catch them (Alec would have been far more surprised if he had) but he picked them up, and his eyes widened. Was it really that exciting?

"Are you serious?" He stared at Alec. "You don't want these?"

"What are they?" Jace asked, emerging from his vomit-inducing exchange of sweet nothings and gooey expressions and heartfelt, sappy little touches with Clary. "Because if it's anything good, Alec loves me more, so I want them."

Clary shook her head at him, but was smiling fondly. _Disgusting_. Possibly, Alec felt a little bit lonely. Magnus was supposed to be joining them, but he'd been held back at work. They'd only graduated that year, and already Alec was slightly missing university. Although, his fellow med students at the hospital were great fun.

"Excuse you." Isabelle folded her arms and glared at Jace. Lydia and Clary exchanged grins across the table. Alec caught Raphael rolling his eyes. Simon was still gawking at the tickets.

"What?" Jace asked, looking up at her while Clary stole his fries. That Jace didn't immediately protest and start guzzling her coke was the real mark of their love. Jace didn't even let Max steal his fries. "I didn't say anything about you."

Isabelle narrowed her eyes. "Clearly, Alec loves me more than he loves you. I'm his only sister."

"I'm his best friend!"

"I'm his number one confidant!"

"That's such crap!"

"Who did he come out to first?"

"You just guessed! He actually told me!"

"Exactly! I knew!"

"Right now," Alec said loudly, "I love Magnus more than I love both of you put together."

Jace and Isabelle both turned to stare at him, while the rest of the table's occupants snickered.

"What about yesterday?" Jace asked after a moment. "You said _right now_ , so..."

"Jace." Alec glared at him. "Shut up."

Jace held his hands up, palms forwards. "Fine, fine. But, seriously, what did you win?"

"Win?" said an incredibly welcome voice from behind him. He felt a cold hand rest on his shoulder for support as Magnus leant over him to peer along the table for evidence. "Who won something?"

"Your boyfriend," Lydia said. "Whatever it is, none of us know, but Simon is very excited. Alec was not so impressed."

A smile tugged at Magnus' lips. "Sorry I'm late, darling."

"It's okay." Alec smiled back at him, and tipped his head up for a kiss. "You're here now."

Jace made a gagging noise. "You two are disgusting."

Magnus rolled his eyes as he slid in beside Alec. "Yes, Jonathan, you seem to remind us of this fact every time we see you. Considering your own levels of public displays of affection..." Magnus trailed off pointedly.

"Alright, alright." Simon's voice caught Alec's attention. "Seriously, do you not want these?"

Alec shrugged. "No. Help yourself."

"What are they?" Magnus asked.

"Elton John tickets."

Magnus gaped at him. "Are you human, Alexander? You don't want tickets to see Elton John? Legend of all kinds? Fantastic fashion wearer?"

Alec raised his eyebrows. "There are two tickets. You're welcome to the other one."

Magnus shook his head. "You are a genuine tragedy, my dear."

"You genuinely sound like someone's grandmother when you call me that."

Magnus smirked a little. He didn't reply; instead, he reached over and picked out several of Jace's fries. Jace's indignant "Hey!" was immediate. Magnus licked the salt off his fingers.

"I think you've got enough chips to share, James."

Jace's mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, eyes wide, as though, in the six months since he'd last seen Magnus while he and Clary had been in Los Angeles, he'd forgotten what Magnus was like.

"Firstly," Jace spluttered, "they're mine, and I paid for them—"

"Yeah, you, not Clary," Alec muttered, much to Isabelle's amusement.

"And secondly, they're not called chips. How fucking long have you lived in New York, Magnus?"

"Oh my god," Magnus groaned, thumping his head against Alec's shoulder. Alec laughed. "Not you too. You Lightwoods. You're all so determined to buy into this entirely illogical American propaganda."

"Illogical?" Alec asked, raising his eyebrows. "What, calling fried things fries?"

"Crisps," Magnus said emphatically, "are fried. So by that logic, we'd call crisps fries, too."

"Except they're called chips."

"No. This—" He picked up one of Jace's fries "–is a chip. You could argue that they're fries, because they're really skinny." He ate it, and stuck his tongue out at Jace when he'd swallowed. Jace scowled. "A skinny, _crispy_ thing in a packet is called, funnily enough, a _crisp_."

"I think this argument is going to be still unresolved when we're eighty," Alec said, shaking his head with a smile tugging up his lips.

Magnus shrugged. "One day, we'll pull you around to the logical way of thinking."

Alec quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, will you?"

Clary cleared her throat pointedly. Alec and Magnus both glanced up at her. Jace looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Keep the foreplay in the bedroom, maybe?" Isabelle suggested.

Before Alec could snap out a retort, Simon said, "So, does this mean I'm going to see Elton John in two months with your boyfriend?"

Alec looked at Magnus. Magnus shrugged. "I suppose it does."

"Switching boyfriends," Jace said, smirking. "Adventurous. Does this mean you'll have a date with Raphael, Alexander?"

"No," Raphael said, voice devoid of humour and instead filled with a dry sort of boredom that only Raphael could execute quite that perfectly. "I'll go somewhere with Ragnor, and I have no doubt that you'll spend the day terrorising Alec."

Alec's eyebrows shot up. When had Raphael ever wanted to save his skin?

"Also," Magnus added, "I am not going on a date with Simon." He grinned in Raphael's direction. "I wouldn't dare."


	33. (+3) Friends: Gay and Straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec's friendship circle gets progressively gayer as he gets older. Magnus gets an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon Aline as a sassy little shit, because she deserved better than just to seem like Isabelle's opposite in the books. I'm sorry. I can't help it.

**Prompt: in which no-one is surprised your character is gay**

*******

  
"So." Aline Penhallow drummed her black-painted fingers against the counter during their twenty-five minute lunch break. "Tell me something about yourself that's not boring."

Alec grinned into his coffee at that. He'd first met Aline a month ago, during his third clinical rotation. He'd started his third year of medical school, and it was the first time he'd really been let loose in a hospital setting.

Aline was prickly. But, for some reason, Alec sort of liked her anyway. She was funny, and sarcastic, and intuitive—she knew a lot more about people than she let on. She was also, to Alec's surprise, good at working with children. And as his end goal in his medical career was paediatrics, they'd bonded over that.

Beside her, Helen, whom Aline had hated a month ago but was inseparable from now (in fact, Alec suspected there was something more than friendship blooming between the two of them), snorted. "Define 'not boring', Al."

"Something that won't send me to sleep and make me wish for the sweet release of the emergency department."

"That's just unreasonable," Helen said. "There's nothing sweet or releasing about the ER. Besides, we're in paediatrics. Look, those—" She pointed to two small children, maybe five years old, running around their father's legs "—those are children."

"Small, stupid humans," Aline said, nodding. "I know."

Alec raised his eyebrows. "I thought you liked children."

"They're sort of cute." Aline smiled. It was a slightly unnerving smile. "Even if they are stupid. One of them told me I looked like a vampire this morning. Please. Do I look pale and pasty like you two poor things? And do I look like I sparkle?"

Alec and Helen both laughed.

"I'm surprised you know what Twilight is," Helen said. "Isn't that a bit mainstream for you?"

Aline tossed her hair. "I had a bet with my best friend in high school that Kristen Stewart was gay. Or at least, not straight. She made me watch the entirety of that awful series to prove to me that her and Robert Pattinson's love is eternal. Or something." She took a long swig of coffee. "I think I won that bet. Shame she's got a girlfriend."

"I would absolutely steal her from you if you got a date with Kristen Stewart," Helen said. "She's human perfection."

Aline turned to look at Helen, properly. Her eyes swept up and down, taking in Helen in her entirety, pink scrubs and awful hospital shoes and messy bun, before she said, "Yeah?"

Helen flushed a little. "Yeah."

"Hm." Aline took another sip of coffee. Alec stayed silent. He felt like he was watching an exceptionally important moment between the two women who'd become friends to him in such a short space of time. "Cara Delevigne?"

Helen shrugged. "I'd rather have Kristen Stewart, but honestly, I'd take either."

Aline smiled. "Amber Heard?"

Helen wrinkled her nose. "She's gorgeous, but she's weird as fuck. But then, so is Johnny Depp, and I'd probably date him."

"Not my type," Aline said, but she didn't look put-off. "Me?"

Helen blinked. "What?"

"Would you go on a date with me?"

Helen opened her mouth and then closed it again. She glanced across at Alec, as though hoping for answers. "Is this a hypothetical situation?"

Aline's smile widened. "Does it matter?"

"I... Yes? I mean, I don't—"

"What are you doing Saturday afternoon?"

"Nothing?"

"I'll meet you at The Deepwater for lunch."

Helen stared at her, then looked at Alec. "Did she just ask me out on a date?"

Alec grinned. "Yes. And you said yes."

"Cool." Helen looked back at Aline, and smiled carefully. "You're really, really bizarre, but I kind of like it."

"Good." Aline glanced over at Alec. "Who are your celebrity crushes?"

Alec choked a little, flushing. "I'm actually gay, so, uh—"

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock." Aline rolled her eyes.

Alec stared at her. "Excuse me?"

"With the way you were looking at that guy who came to meet you after your shift last week? Please." Aline snorted. "It's obvious you're into men."

"Who is he?" Helen asked, lifting her eyebrows and smirking a little. "Desperate crush? Best friend whom you'd like to bang? Friend you're in love with? Give us the details."

"This counts as something about yourself that's not boring, by the way," Aline added. "So, spill."

Alec let out a bewildered laugh. "Nothing like that. His name's Magnus. He's my boyfriend."

"Aw." Aline looked just a little bit sappy. "That's sweet. Your boyfriend picked you up."

"We were going out."

"Netflix and chill kind of out?"

"W-what?" Alec's cheeks went scarlet. "Aline, what the hell. No. Not Netflix and chill kind of out. Out with all our normal friends and our two token heterosexual friends."

That made both women laugh.

"The proportion of LGBT to straight friends definitely swings further and further towards gay-as-fuck the older you get," Helen agreed. "I used to be the only girl who was into girls I knew."

"I think my proportional gayness has increased since I was twelve," Aline mused.

Helen and Alec looked at her blankly. "Twelve?"

"Mm. That was when I first labelled myself as a lesbian. Not that I think labels are necessary for everyone, you understand. I've just...always known I was really, really in love with women. And now I'm even more in love with women. I mean, not that you aren't fairly attractive for a guy, Alec, but the thought of sleeping with you is nightmare-inducing. It wouldn't have been quite like that when I was fifteen. No offence."

"Um, none taken," Alec said, more than a little taken aback. "I wouldn't want to sleep with you, either. I also, you know, have a boyfriend, so—"

"You're not going out with your gay friends tonight, are you?" Aline asked. "Or your token straight friends?"

"No?"

"Great." She smiled. "Because the three of us are going out, and you're telling us all about how you met Magnus."

***

**[From: Alexander <3 at 19:06]**

**Help. I've been abducted by lesbians.**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 19:06]**

***one lesbian and one bisexual who are definitely going to be having eye-sex at work by next month**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 19:07]**

***by next week**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 19:07]**

**THEY WANT TO KNOW WHEN WE FIRST HAD SEX. OH MY GOD. THIS IS WORSE THAN TALKING TO IZZY.**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 19:07]**

**MAGNUS. BABE. HELP ME.**

Magnus grinned at his phone, shaking his head fondly, running his hand over Chairman Meow's head as he flopped down on the sofa and propped his feet up on the coffee table.

**[From: Magnus at 19:10]**

**I dare you to tell them I was on an acid trip and thought you were Prince Harry and screwed you in a McDonald's bathroom while Jace was outside eating**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 19:10]**

**MAGNUS BANE.**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 19:10]**

**I AM MARRYING YOU AND IMMEDIATELY GETTING A DIVORCE SO I CAN APPROPRIATELY EXPRESS HOW MUCH I HATE YOU.**

Magnus laughed out loud, startling Chairman Meow off his lap.

**[From: Magnus at 19:10]**

**I love you, Alexander**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 19:11]**

**That's not fair. You can't be a terrible boyfriend and then tell me you love me. That's a sign of an abusive relationship.**

**[From: Alexander <3 at 19:11]**

**Wait. That was a really bad joke. In every way. Pretend I didn't say that.**

He smiled fondly at his phone.

**[From: Magnus at 19:12]**

**You're getting so many cuddles later. You're too adorable for words. Now, go on and socialise with your new gay friends. Stop texting me.**

Magnus snapped his phone away so he wouldn't be tempted to reply, if Alec sent him another text, and stood up to fix himself something to eat, as his mind mulled over their text conversation.

Marrying Alexander... That didn't sound like a bad idea at all.


	34. (+4) Can I Keep You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus meets an idol, Alec thinks his boyfriend is adorable, and they're both shameless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate all these celebrity prompts, oh my god. How...how do people write fics about real people? Like, how do y'all do it? I was cringing just writing it.
> 
> But anyway! Enjoy :)

**Prompt: in which your character fangirls over their idol**

 

 

*******

 

  
Alec was staring at the rows upon rows of nail polish in mild terror, and slight exasperation, as they stood in the middle of the drugstore, Magnus humming beside him as he tried to pick between two different bottles of silvery glittery stuff. Alec could barely tell the difference.

Magnus had convinced him to paint his nails, once or twice, over the eight - or was it nearer nine? - years they'd been together. But he hadn't coerced him into anything more exciting than black.

Yet. Magnus was still terrifyingly hopeful about that. He also hadn't managed to get Alec out of the house with make-up on, yet, except when they'd gone to various Pride festivals. Alec had let Magnus do him up and play around to his heart's content when they stayed at home, and when they went to parades. But there was no way he was going into the paediatrics ward with eyeliner on. Kids were way too messy. And what if he was called into the emergency department for a kid, and got fluids over his made-up face?

(It had happened. Hospitals were revolting places. Alec did not want to repeat the experience.)

Magnus suddenly stilled next to him, having replaced one bottle of polish and stuck the other in their basket. He gripped Alec's forearm, nails digging in.

Alec glanced across at him in alarm. "Magnus, _ow_. That _hurts_. What's wrong?"

"Alec," Magnus whispered, gaze fixed across the store. "Oh my _god_."

"What?" Alec followed his gaze in confusion, but saw only the rest of the store, and bored-looking shoppers within.

"Alec, Alec, that is _Adam Lambert_! Oh my god, help me. Help me help me. Do I need to finally decide whether I want to be him or screw him? Is this the moment I have to choose? Fuck, Alec, help me, oh god."

Alec smiled in amusement. "We could go and say hello."

Magnus froze, and stared at him. "Wait, what?"

Alec raised an eyebrow as the singer, who was wearing boots more glittery than some of Magnus' best, came round the corner. Alec saw him glance at Magnus and Alec, who were holding hands, and smile a little bit.

"Come on," Alec murmured, pushing at his boyfriend gently. "He's literally right behind you."

Magnus' head whipped round, eyes wide, just as Adam glanced up. Alec couldn't remember ever seeing Magnus blush so hard as he did when his idol looked at him. He suddenly understood why Magnus tried so hard to get him to blush. It was adorable.

"Hey," Adam said, smiling at them. Magnus was struck speechless, for what would likely be the first and only time. Adam's smile widened, and he took a step towards them. "I'm Adam Lambert."

Magnus choked out a laugh. "I know who you are."

Adam let out a laugh. "Sadly, I don't know who you two are."

This time, when Adam turned his intense blue eyes on Alec, too, it wasn't just Magnus blushing.

"Magnus," Magnus said. Alec could feel Magnus' palm sweating. "And this is Alec."

"How're you doing?"

"Good, thanks," Magnus said. He glanced across at Alec, the corners of his lips lifting. "Really good."

Adam laughed again. "You two look great together."

Alec flushed deeper. "Thank you."

Magnus suddenly spoke, words tumbling past his lips in a rush. "I'm sure you get this all the time, so I know it's not special or anything, but I just needed to say thank you. Because you—" Magnus stopped for a just a moment, looking uncertain, until Adam quirked one eyebrow a little, inclining his head. "I used to play some of your songs like they were the voices in my head telling me I was okay, and I was allowed me be who I am, and things would get better. I just— I'm a huge fan."

"It is special," he said. "Everybody is special, everyone's stories are special." His eyes flickered from Magnus' to Alec's. Alec swore he couldn't get any redder. It had to be humanly impossible. "How long have you two been together?"

And he sounded genuinely curious. In fact, he seemed genuine altogether. Either he was an excellent actor, or an honestly-nice guy.

"Eight years," Alec said, because Magnus, for the first time in all the years Alec had known him, seemed to be having extreme difficulty spitting his words out.

Adam sighed. "Everybody seems to have better luck than me with love."

Magnus grinned suddenly. "Nobody has better luck than you in fashion. You're, like, everybody's fashion icon."

Adam looked momentarily surprised, before his expression mirrored Magnus'. "I don't know. Your boots are seriously sweet. Where are they from?"

Alec smiled to himself as Magnus started chatting and gushing and laughing, making the singer laugh, too, both of them gesturing animatedly, turning to Alec occasionally. He was more than happy to listen to the conversation, and watch Magnus get so excited, eyes lit up beautifully.

***

Magnus kept looking at him phone after they finally said goodbye, and left the shop to make their way home. He had a huge great grin on his face, and he kept turning his head into Alec's shoulder to muffle a scream of delight.

Alec tried not to laugh at his boyfriend, but Magnus was making it difficult, being so adorable when he got like this.

"If I ever delete these accidentally, I'm going to cry," Magnus said, flicking between the three photographs on his phone: two of himself and his idol, one when Adam had dragged Alec into the photo as well, much to Magnus' amusement and Alec's embarrassment.

"So print them off."

"That's...actually not a bad idea," Magnus said. He shut his phone screen off, and turned to look at Alec. "That actually happened, Alec."

Alec raised his eyebrows, smiling. "It did."

"Do you have any idea how long I've been wanting that to happen?"

"Since 2009, I presume," Alec said dryly.

Magnus gaped at him. "How do you know that?"

"Because that's when he was on American Idol, right?"

Magnus sighed, eyes softening. "I can't believe you pay attention when I go about things like that."

"I tell you about kids throwing up on my nice squishy hospital chair, you tell me about your celebrity crushes."

"Darling." Magnus' eyes sparkled. "That man is my god."

Alec choked out a laugh. "That's a bit weird, you know?"

Magnus elbowed him in the side. Alec laughed harder.

"I'm not going to lie," Magnus said, as they reached a road and paused at the crossing, "I love you more."

Alec _awwed_ at his boyfriend, teasingly, and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks, babe."

Magnus grabbed him by the back of the neck and yanked him down for a kiss, taking Alec by surprise. He made a surprised noise against Magnus' lips, which turned into a strangled moan when Magnus tucked two fingers into the waistband of his jeans, pulled him closer, and nipped on his lower lip.

"Mags," Alec gasped, pulling back when he heard people hooting at them from across the street. "We're in public."

Magnus looked completely unapologetic, but he said, "Sorry."

Alec shook his head in exasperation, and kissed the corner of his mouth. "You're shameless."

"It's taken you eight and a half years to work that out?"

"Nine, technically," Alec corrected him. "I've known you longer than I've been dating you. And no. It took me about eight and a half minutes."

Magnus grinned. "I try my best."

"Mm." Alec's voice was dry as he looked pointedly down at Magnus' boots - chunky, ass-flattering heels that were fucking _glittery_. "You do."

"I'm offended, Alexander." Magnus lifted his chin and sniffed, strutting across the road ahead of Alec as the lights changed. "I'm withholding cuddling rights until you apologise."

Alec groaned, eyes unabashedly fixed on his boyfriend's gorgeous ass. Did he have to strut like that while he was wearing heels? It was completely unfair, and Alec was going to die because Magnus was so goddamn hot.

"You're trying to kill me," Alec called to him. "That's cruel, Magnus."

"What, not cuddling you?" Magnus asked, pretending to be oblivious. "I think that's only fair, considering your malicious implications."

" _Strutting_ ," Alec said, catching up to Magnus and slipping an arm around his waist to stop Magnus doing it. "Please, for the love of god, stop. At least until we're less than five minutes from home."

Magnus' eyes darkened, and a wicked smile flashed across his face. "Challenge accepted, Alexander."

Alec moaned quietly when Magnus wiggled out of his hold and started doing that little sashay that would absolutely be the death of Alec sometime very soon. Magnus was far, far too aware of the things those boots did to his ass. And he was equally too aware of the affect it had on his poor, unsuspecting boyfriend.

"I hate you," Alec told him.

"I don't believe you."

"I do. You're driving me crazy."

"Oh?" Magnus arched an eyebrow, turning back to look at Alec, who was trailing helplessly after him. "Prove it."

Alec's face burned. They were in _public_. People could _hear_ them.

Alec grabbed Magnus' arm gently and leant down so his lips brushed Magnus' ear. "Can we please walk faster?"

Magnus smirked at him. "Only if we can have sex before _and_ after we go to see that movie with Helen and Aline. And if you promise not to make me get out of bed before midday tomorrow. It's a Saturday."

Alec's lips quirked up at that. He was almost certain that Helen and Aline would start making out halfway through the film. "Deal. But I never make you get up at the weekend, unless we have somewhere to go."

"Yes, you do," Magnus said, leaning into him and pouting a little bit. Alec wanted to tell him that pouting was something five year old kids did, but it was slightly adorable, so he couldn't quite bring himself to. "Because you're always up making coffee by ten o'clock. On a good day. Eight, on a bad day."

"I let you sleep. I don't wake you up."

"Firstly, when my cuddle-partner-come-human-radiator leaves the bed, I notice. Secondly, if I get up too many hours after you do, you've put a shirt on, and I miss being able to check you out."

"Fine." Alec rolled his eyes. "I promise, I will make coffee when I wake up and then come back to bed. And I will not put a shirt on."

"In which case–" Magnus' lips quirked up, and he sounded husky when he finished his sentence "–let's get home, darling."

Alec swallowed when Magnus' hand slipped between them and he ran a finger down the line of Alec's chest. "Fuck."

"Yes." Magnus kissed him quickly. "Yes, my darling, that exactly."

Good god, Alec wanted to keep this man forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, Magnus and Alec do uphold their deal, and Helen and Aline definitely make out partway through the film.


	35. (+5) You're the Stars in My Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aline's sarcasm reaches new heights, Alec gets a bit possessive, and everyone cries.

**Prompt: in which your character's best friend wears a rainbow t-shirt**

 

*******

 

  
"Look at the heterosexuals," Aline said, pretending to sniff as she watched Jace and Clary with their arms around each other, Jace in a rainbow t-shirt and Clary with her hair dyed in the colours of the LGBT+ flag at New York Pride Parade. "I'm so proud."

Helen rolled her eyes at her girlfriend, lips twitching as she clearly tried not to smile. "Stop being heterophobic."

"Heterophobic?" Aline snorted. "It's Pride."

"So? You pretend to hate straight people all year round," Alec couldn't help but point out. "It's not exclusive to the month of June."

"That," Helen said. "Also, Jace and Clary are lovely."

"I'm awesome," Jace said, appearing out of nowhere, Clary on his shoulders, presumably so she could see over all the people. It was sickeningly sweet. Alec hoped he and Magnus didn't make people as nauseous as he felt looking at the two of them.

Actually, that was a lie. He sort of wanted to be worse than that.

Sort of. Secretly. A little bit.

Sadly, Magnus wasn't here. Not yet, anyway. He'd been called into work - some kind of emergency, he'd said as he'd rushed out of their apartment far too early, leaving Alec cold and lonely and pouting in bed - unexpectedly, but would, Alec hoped, be here later. There hadn't been a New York Pride parade since their first together that they'd missed.

"Sure, Herondale," Aline said, flicking imaginary dirt out from under her nails. "Totally awesome. Can I have your autograph? Would you be on the front of Vogue? Fancy becoming the celebrity crush of millions of twelve-year-old girls?"

"Do you have to be quite so vicious?" Helen asked, exasperated. "We all know you're badass. You don't have to keep up the heartless thing all the time, you know?"

Aline looked up at Helen, and raised a pierced eyebrow. Helen had a point. Aline was dressed like she was ready to stab someone with the stiletto heel of her studded boots, and even Magnus would be impressed by the amount of attitude she'd managed to put into her make-up.

Jace, of course, didn't look in the least bit offended—he was grinning, hands on Clary's thighs to make sure she didn't slip off his shoulders. Someone needed to tell him that his Pride t-shirt was at least three sizes too small. (Although, maybe that was deliberate. Jace had a habit of wanting to show off, in any way possible.)

"Yes, yes," Helen said, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Aline's ear. "We get it. Who was cooing to the cat when I got home yesterday? Who comes to bed gushing about adorable toddlers at work? Who—"

"Shut up," Aline said, dragging Helen forwards by the front of her tank-top to kiss her.

Alec's attention was yanked from the two women by the sound of Magnus' voice, reaching him through the crowds of people out celebrating in various states of undress. (Magnus might have convinced Alec to try all number of things his teenage self would have blanched at, but wearing metallic booty shorts in public was absolutely not one of them.)

Turning towards the sound of his boyfriend's voice, Alec spotted Magnus walking through the crowd, having changed out of his work clothes and into something far more indecent, laughing with some ridiculously muscular guy Alec didn't know. He smiled, involuntarily. Magnus looked gorgeous. He always did, of course, but Alec adored the look on his face at times like Pride, when he was practically glowing with happiness.

(It happened after great sex, too. Like last night. Which was why Alec flushed when he noticed the way Magnus' jean shorts and heeled boots accented his ass.)

The guy Magnus was with was dressed even more indecently, in a rainbow-patterned jockstrap that barely covered the essentials, cowboy boots, and nothing else. Alec couldn't help but grin. Of course Magnus would find that kind of person to make friends with. Pride was practically the only time Alec saw men dressed more outrageously than Magnus, although Magnus had forgone any form of top last year.

Alec's grin dropped abruptly when the guy put his on Magnus' lower back to guide him through the crowd. His eyes narrowed. For goodness' sake. He knew Magnus looked absolutely incredible, but that was his boyfriend, thank you very much. _Hands off, asshole._

Magnus' entire face lit up when he spotted Alec, and Alec felt something deep inside him warm. Even after all these years, they could still get those kinds of reactions out of each other.

Alec saw Magnus shift subtly to one side when the back of the guy's hand brushed his ass; Magnus rolled his eyes at Alec, before he turned to say something to the guy. Hopefully something chastising. Otherwise Alec would have to make out with Magnus just to prove a point.

"I have a boyfriend," Alec heard Magnus say, as the pair neared where Alec was standing a few yards away from their friends.

"Does he know you're trans?"

Magnus shot Hyper-Masculine-Gym-Buff an incredulous look. "Aaand, we're done. Hello, Alexander."

Alec smiled, accepting Magnus into his arms when his boyfriend reached for him. "Hi," he said, kissing Magnus' cheek, careful not to smudge his eye make-up. "How was work?"

"I fucking hate journalists," was all Magnus said, quietly. "Trying to get information on some poor girl who was assaulted. I'll tell you about it later. I need to vent."

"No problem." Alec kissed him again, on the temple this time, lingering before they pulled away from each other. "Who's this, babe?"

Magnus was clearly fully aware that Alec had gone into possessive mode. He always was. Magnus rolled his eyes at Alec, but Alec didn't care. He was allowed to make it clear that Magnus was taken, and it wasn't like Magnus was protesting. If he had been, he'd have backed off. Immediately.

"John," Hyper-Masculine-Gym-Buff (Asshole-Douchepants, Alec added, because why not?) said, holding his hand out to Alec. "We went to school together."

Alec blinked at him, but shook his hand. "You two?" He glanced at Magnus. "In London?"

Magnus smirked. "No, darling. We had chemistry with him in senior year. Remember?"

Alec glanced back at John. No. He didn't remember. He'd been too distracted by Magnus most lessons. Magnus, or, you know, _chemistry_. "I... Maybe?"

"John?" came an astounded voice from behind them. "What are you doing here?"

"Lydia?" John looked shocked. "What—? What are _you_ doing here?"

"Celebrating with my _wife_ ," Lydia said, irritation flashing in her eyes. She glanced behind her; Alec followed her gaze, and saw Isabelle photo-bombing Simon and Raphael while they tried to take a selfie. Raphael was scowling while Simon kissed his cheek. It was adorable. 

"Iz!" Alec shouted, because he slightly wanted to make this John guy as uncomfortable as possible. What? He'd touched Magnus' ass, was _still_ checking him out, and clearly Lydia didn't like him much either. Lydia was his sister-in-law, as of three months ago. "C'mere!"

Isabelle looked up, and strutted over in her ridiculously high heels, wrapping her arms around Lydia's neck from behind when she reached them. "Hi, babe."

"Your...wife?" John's brow furrowed as he took in Isabelle.

"Isabelle Lightwood," Izzy said, smiling seductively at John. "You might remember me. Generally more awesome than anybody else." Alec hid his grin in Magnus' hair. He bloody loved his sister, sometimes.

John looked increasingly awkward. "So you're Lydia Lightwood, now?"

Lydia fixed him with the kind of look Aline gave Alec when he'd had a fight with Magnus and was being particularly stupid about it. "No. I'm not obligated to change my name just because I'm married."

"I—" John looked back at Magnus as though hoping for help. Magnus smiled pleasantly at him.

"Didn't you two date for a while?" Isabelle asked, suddenly, looking to Lydia for confirmation.

Ah. That made more sense. Not that Alec remembered anything about that, either. Had he suffered some kind of amnesia regarding his entire high school experience, or were his thoughts back then just that consumed by Magnus?

God, who was he kidding? His thoughts were still consumed by Magnus. (And the paediatrics department, because it was essentially his second home, but he digressed.) Hence why he was wondering why, exactly, they were standing around talking to Hyper-Masculine-Gym-Buff-John (hey, Gym-Buff John, that was more catchy, right?) rather than participating in their annual Pride smooch in the middle of the crowd, just so Izzy would take photos and the crowd would whoop.

Seventeen year old Alec would have blushed, cringed, and hidden at the mere thought. Twenty-seven year old Alec thought it was a fantastic tradition, and one he didn't want to break.

"Yes," Lydia said, visibly relaxing herself back into where Isabelle still had her arms around her. "A long time ago. Nice outfit, by the way, John."

A flash of cockiness reappeared on Gym-Buff-John's face. His eyes flickered to Magnus. "Thanks."

Alec rolled his eyes, and drew Magnus further against him. Magnus gave Alec a stern look.

"Behave," he said.

Alec pursed his lips. "Tell that to him."

Magnus pulled him down for a kiss, hot and sudden and messy. Alec made a surprised noise into Magnus' mouth, his hands fluttering to find somewhere to hold that wasn't indecent. He ended up with his fingers buried in his boyfriend's hair, Magnus moaning against his lips, both of them pressed far too close to be entirely appropriate.

Well. It was Pride. People always went a little crazy.

When they parted, people were cheering around them. But Alec, dazed by the kiss, was more preoccupied by the swollen red of Magnus' lips, and how fucked up his hair was, and how utterly sinful he looked.

Gym-Buff-John could go to hell.

"What happened to 'behave'?" Alec managed to get out, eventually.

Magnus shrugged. "You're ridiculously hot when you're pissed off."

Alec's eyes bugged. "Does that mean that when I'm shouting at you for leaving all your jewellery on my desk and getting glitter over my work, you're getting turned on?"

"That was _one time_." Magnus pouted at him. "Stop being mean."

"They were important papers. I had to hand those into my boss. Covered in _glitter_."

Magnus shrugged. "Glitter's pretty. I'm sure it brightened Imogen's day."

Alec snorted. "Have you met my boss?"

"Yes, darling, I have. She looked like she needed a little brightness in her life. Why not glitter? I'm sure it helped lower her undoubtedly rocketing blood pressure for a day. You're a doctor, you're supposed to make people better. Prescribe glitter. Lowers stress levels. Increases—"

Alec had to put his mouth back on Magnus' just to shut him up.

It had nothing to do with the way Gym-Buff-John was still eyeing Magnus like a piece of meat.

Nothing at all.

***

Later that day, just as evening turned into night, Alec stepped out of the bedroom, hair still wet from his shower, dressed in sweatpants and a sweater. He followed his nose to the kitchen, where Magnus was stirring an enormous pot of beef stew that would probably feed them for a fortnight.

Alec smiled to himself, taking a moment to just watch the man he loved more than life itself. Magnus was dressed down, hair free from product and face cleaned of make-up, feet bare, dressed in pyjamas and that soft cashmere sweater of his that Alec adored. Music was drifting from the iPod dock, and Magnus swayed gently where he stood.

"Are you going to stare at me all night, Alexander?"

Blinking out of his staring, Alec shook his head, and moved towards the stove. He cozied himself behind Magnus, wrapping his arms around Magnus' waist, and rested his chin on Magnus' shoulder.

"You're beautiful. I can't help it."

Magnus smiled, but didn't turn to look at him, throwing in herbs and spices.

Alec tilted his face so his nose brushed Magnus' hair, and inhaled, tightening his arms. Sandalwood. It was the scent of home, that particular brand of sandalwood shampoo that Magnus had been buying since forever.

"If I burn myself because you're distracting me, you have to nurse me back to health," Magnus warned him.

Alec nuzzled the side of his face, along his jawline. "I love you."

Magnus let out a laugh. "What's got into you today?"

"Nothing." Alec smiled against Magnus' neck. Oh, that was a lie. That was such a lie. The nervous churning in Alec's stomach and the racing of his heart was only the most obvious evidence that it was a lie. "It's Pride. I'm happy. I love you."

"I love you too, darling," Magnus said, voice softer.

"Marry me?" Alec whispered, right into Magnus' ear, words a mere caress.

Magnus stilled.

Alec held his breath.

The world paused, for a moment, silent, unmoving, as though a mere breath would shatter everything around them.

Then, finally, Magnus dropped the spoon, and turned in Alec's arms, tilting his head up to look at him. Alec chewed down on his lip, but didn't look away. He couldn't. Magnus was searching his eyes, hands resting lightly on Alec's biceps, fingers clenching and unclenching in the fabric of his sweater.

Alec could feel the way Magnus' heart was pounding, thudding against his ribs, just as heavily as Alec's was. Teeth sucked Magnus' lower lip into his mouth as he stared, and stared, and stared, chest rising and falling heavily.

"You want to marry me?" Magnus' words were soft, barely-there, hardly stirring the air.

Alec nodded, trying not to let his trepidation show. Because he did want to marry Magnus. He really, really did. He felt like they'd proved that they could get through just about anything, over the last ten years. He loved Magnus just as much - no, more - today than he had the first time he'd ever said it to him. Magnus was his world, and that hadn't changed for a long, long time.

So yes. Yes, he wanted to marry Magnus. But he knew it wouldn't be the end of everything if Magnus said no. They wouldn't break up, if Magnus said no. They'd talk. They'd discuss. Magnus would explain. They'd come to a conclusion. They might have an argument, Alec supposed, but, whatever happened, they'd fall into bed beside each other, and kiss each other goodnight, and fall asleep in each other's arms, just like always. Because that was their rule. They didn't go to bed angry. They didn't let things fester.

He didn't doubt that Magnus loved him. But...there was something about the word _husband_ that made Alec's stomach twist and his heart leap.

"I do," Alec told him. "Very much."

At that, Magnus' face broke into a beautiful smile, lips curving up, teeth showing, and a soft little laugh escaped his lips. He drew Alec closer, and reached up to kiss him, warm and slow and brief, but intimate.

"Alright," Magnus murmured, against his lips, eyes shining. He pulled back so they could look at each other properly. "I'll marry you, Alexander Lightwood."

Alec's heart fell, dropped right through him, crashing down at the shock of hearing those words out loud. And then it soared.

He matched Magnus' smile, overwhelmed with sheer, unadulterated joy. He wrapped his arms around Magnus' waist and swung them around in a circle, laughing and grinning and pressing messy kisses to Magnus' face as he did.

"I love you," Magnus told him, when Alec set him down.

Alec's smile widened impossibly further. "I love you too. So much.

"I'm marrying you."

"You are."

Magnus leant forwards, and his his grin in Alec's neck. "I'm marrying you," he said again, voice muffled. "Oh my god."

Laughing, Alec ran one hand up and down Magnus' back, and reached into the pocket of his sweatpants with the other.

"I don't know whether you want to wear this," Alec murmured, "but..."

Magnus pulled back; he looked down at the ring Alec held out, between his thumb and forefinger. It was a simple design: silver, with a black stripe running through the middle, and three little diamonds set along the top.

"And here I was, thinking that was spur-of-the-moment," Magnus said, biting down on his lower lip in a clear attempt to stop himself smiling again. "Of course I'll wear it, darling. If you wear one, too."

Alec kissed his forehead. "Deal. Can I put it on?"

Magnus nodded, and held out his hand, letting Alec slide the ring on. Alec had had to employ Isabelle to sneak in while Magnus wasn't at home, to work out what ring size Magnus was, because he had all sorts of rings that went on different fingers and different parts of his fingers, and Alec just knew he'd get it all wrong if he tried to do it.

The ring slid on, firm but not too tight, and Alec was infinitely glad he'd begged Isabelle for help. Even though he'd told her he was buying an anniversary gift, not an engagement ring.

For a moment, they both looked down at Magnus' hand, and at the ring sitting there.

"Can I make a confession?" Magnus asked, breaking the silence. He looked a little nervous; Alec inclined his head, confused. "I- I may have been thinking about this. Asking you. To marry me. And I—" He sighed. "I bought you a ring months ago. I just...I wasn't sure when to ask. Or how to ask. Or if you'd say yes."

Alec felt his entire body soften in compassion. He laid his palm gently along Magnus' cheek, and said, "So ask me now."

"You've already asked me."

Alec shrugged. "So? _You_ can ask _me_."

Magnus gazed up at him for a moment, and then gripped the front of his sweater, and said, "You're incredible. I don't know what I did to deserve to be this happy."

"You deserve to be as happy as it's possible to be, Magnus."

"You make me happier than that," Magnus said, fiercely, something in his eyes almost desperate. "You make me so happy I feel like I'm going to explode. I feel like no human heart can take it. I need to scream how much I love you from the rooftops, just to let it all out. I just- I love you. So, so much."

"I know." He reached up to brush a strand of hair back from Magnus' face, fingers lingering on his skin. "I feel the same way."

"Will you marry me?" Magnus whispered, turning his head into Alec's touch. "Will you marry me, my beautiful Alexander?"

Alec couldn't have held back his smile at those words if he'd wanted to. Which he didn't. He felt like he'd never stop smiling.

"Yes," he said. "Yes, I'll marry you, Magnus."

Tears shone in Magnus' eyes, glistening and gorgeous, unblinking as he gazed up at Alec like he'd hung every silvery star in every perfect, cloudless night sky. The tears spilled over, trickling down his cheeks, making irregular tracks that shone in the evening light.

Alec lifted a hand, and brushed his thumb across Magnus' cheek, wiping away evidence of his fiancé's - his _fiancé's_ \- wildly ricocheting emotions.

How had this become his life? How was this reality? Waking up to Magnus' sleepy, pillow-creased face every morning, one of them - but rarely both of them - grumpy and yawning and struggling to worm their way out of the warmth of each other's arms beneath the duvet, short-tempered until they'd had coffee. Coming home to Magnus, and the comforting familiarity of Magnus' embrace, and the heart-stopping beauty of his smiles. Or coming home to an empty home, with Magnus' bright, crazy, disorganised mass of _stuff_ everywhere. Laying down beside him at night, getting to haul the duvet over both of them, and snuggle with him, and drift off to sleep with someone - with _Magnus_ \- there to soothe all those nighttime worries.

It was. Somehow, this was the hand Alec had been dealt in life. This was what he got. He got his family, and he got his friends - token heterosexuals and gays alike - and he got Magnus. Strong, sassy, stunning Magnus. His Magnus.

Magnus was right. No human heart was designed to withstand this sort of sheer ecstasy and love and contentment. But if this - all this, all these overwhelming feelings - killed him, it would be a good way to go. At least he'd die happier than he'd ever believed it was possible to be.

"I adore you, Alexander Lightwood," Magnus said, voice low, cracking under the weight of emotion. He swallowed, tears clinging to his lashes as he blinked, and reached up to squeeze the hand cradling his face. Magnus' fingers were shaking a little, his entire body trembling, just slightly, only perceptible because Alec had his arms around him.

Alec wasn't going to survive this. It was too much.

"And I, you," he said, because he did. His lips quirked up a little. "Aren't I supposed to have a ring?"

Magnus let out a watery laugh. "I'm not sure I can move. I'm in shock. I might fall over with how happy I am."

Alec shrugged, and swept Magnus up into his arms, one arm under his knees and one across his back. Magnus yelped, and hit Alec's shoulder in protest.

"Bedroom? Bathroom? Living room? Where am I going?"

Magnus huffed, reaching one hand down to turn off the stove so the house didn't burn down. Good thinking. Alec hadn't thought about that. He'd been preoccupied.

"Bedroom. I always feel so invalid when you carry me around like I weigh nothing."

"Well, you're not exactly a human giant, Mags."

Magnus glared at him. "Hazard of being a trans man."

Alec kissed his forehead in apology, although he was fairly sure Magnus wasn't actually mad at him. "I know. It's not like you've never swept me off my feet. Literally and metaphorically."

"Shut up and go to the closet," Magnus said, rolling his eyes. The twitching off his lips gave away the fact that, as Alec had suspected, he wasn't really angry. As did the way he did his face in Alec's shoulder. Alec could feel his grin.

"Why the hell did you put a ring in the closet?" Alec asked, depositing Magnus gently on the bed. "Is this meant to be some kind of poetic statement?"

Magnus snickered. "No. You just don't root around in the closet. You have an irrational fear of fashion, darling. The box is in my underwear drawer. The bottom one."

Alec choked, cheeks flushing red. "Really?"

"We've been dating for ten years, and you're still embarrassed by my sexy lingerie? You weren't very embarrassed when you were peeling it off me last night with your teeth."

"Magnus!" Alec yanked the drawer open with more force than necessary. He was fairly used to the way Magnus talked about sex, by now. But it was difficult to be composed when he already felt so flustered. "Shut up."

"Nope."

"I hate you."

"Then why are you marrying me?"

"Don't make me regret it," Alec grumbled, locating a ring box at the back of the drawer, next to— Good god, why didn't Alec know that Magnus kept that sort of stuff in this drawer? Wasn't it all in the bottom of Magnus' nightstand?

"Are you alright?" Magnus asked, sounding concerned.

"Since when do you keep sex stuff in here?"

"Sex stuff." Magnus grinned. "That's a new one."

" _Magnus_."

"Since we had sex against the wall last week and I thought it'd be a good idea to have things closer to hand, as it's a nice spot. Now get your gorgeous ass over here so I can put that ring on your finger, sweetheart."

Alec sat down across from Magnus, and handed over the little black box. Magnus didn't get down on one knee - though Alec half expected him to, with his flair for dramatics - but merely flicked the box open, took the ring out, and picked up Alec's hand to slide it on.

The ring wasn't all that dissimilar to Magnus'. It was silver, plain, but this one had a square of four little sapphires set in the middle. It was exactly the kind of thing Magnus would buy him: it was classy, and it was beautiful, but it was simple enough to be something Alec would wear without hesitation, and not look out of place on him.

"There." Magnus exhaled, and kissed Alec's hand, where the ring sat. "Are you sure I'm not dreaming?"

"I'm sure." He smiled. "This is definitely real."

"Hm." Mischief flickered across Magnus' eyes. In a flash, he'd swung his leg up and round, situating himself firmly in the middle of the bed, thighs spread across Alec's lap, hands pushing Alec so he was flat on his back. "I'm not so sure."

Alec licked his lips, resting his hands on Magnus' hips. "Oh?"

"No." Magnus bent down so his breath washed across Alec's face, lips just brushing his with every word. "I think you need to prove it to me."

"And how do you want me to do that?"

Magnus smirked. "I'm sure you'll think of something."

And he sealed their lips together, hot and slow and tantalising and so, so good. Alec grabbed at him, hauling Magnus desperately closer as they kissed, nipping and tasting, breaths turning to pants and pants turning to moans.

This was home. This was what home tasted like, sounded like, felt like.

Magnus was his home. Eternally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter made me very happy. Also, I can now confirm to a certain lovely person who seemed rather desperate to know, YES, THEY GET MARRIED!! (You know who you are ;) <3)
> 
> Whoop! I have absolutely no idea what I'm writing for the last chapter of this - which will be next chapter - but I do sort of hope I'll update a little sooner next time? I'm very sorry for the wait, but I hope you enjoyed this one :) Much love <3


	36. (+6) I'm Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Isabelle is furious, Raphael feels insecure, and Magnus and Alec are revoltingly in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are brief mentions of assault and homophobic abuse in this, just so you're all aware. Also, Magnus mentions the election result, and I just want to say, even though I don't live in the States, I'm horrified that such a man has got into power, and I hope you're all doing okay. Stay safe, especially if you're part of a social minority, and keep your heads up, okay? I have faith that America can get through this without completely falling apart.

Magnus barely glanced up as he heard the grate of a key in the lock, and the tell-tale slide of the front door opening. He frowned at his phone, halfway through reading a news article, trying to work out where, exactly, the writer had managed to get such ridiculous statistics from, and how the hell this crap had been published.

At least, if people had to suffer such mind-numbing idiocy, it should have been through the medium of witty, lively writing.

"Hey, babe," he called out to Alec, because Alec hadn't said anything yet. Probably tired. He'd been working late shifts and overtime over the last week, and Magnus couldn't help but feel sorry for him, traipsing home at ungodly-o'clock every day.

"Hey."

Magnus' frown deepened. What the fuck was this crazy guy on about? His sentences didn't even make _sense_. Probably a Republican and a Trump supporter. He was still in denial about the election result. He could only hope that Trump wouldn't actually be as awful as all his promises had made him sound. 

Regardless, Magnus was terrified. Not only was he bisexual, an immigrant, and a person of colour, but he was transgender, and due to get married soon. To a _man_. It couldn't have been much worse.

The sound of Alec's footsteps met Magnus' ears, and he tilted his head back slightly, eyes not leaving his phone screen. He was convinced if he looked away the article would disappear. It was impossible for somebody to legitimately be this moronic.

"Alec, have you seen this?"

A hand moved into his line of vision, fingers folding over each other and rubbing together as they rested on the arm of the sofa, and he felt Alec's breath warm on his neck.

"No. Looks like a load of bullshit to me."

Magnus' eyes stopped scanning over the article. Alec sounded...off. His voice sounded strange. He forced his gaze away from his phone, and looked across at his fiancé, just as Alec moved off towards the kitchen, back to Magnus.

"How was your day?" Magnus asked, clicking off his phone to give Alec his full attention.

"Crap," Alec replied shortly, clicking on the coffee machine.

Magnus stood up, pushing himself off the sofa, and walked towards the kitchen. "Alexander Lightwood, turn that off. You drinking coffee at eleven o'clock at night is a terrible idea."

Alec's shoulders slumped, but he reached over to flick the machine off.

Concern ricocheted through Magnus. He reached out to place a hand on Alec's forearm, and felt Alec flinch at the touch. Magnus' eyebrows rose, but he withdrew, not wanting to make Alec uncomfortable.

"Are you alright, darling?"

Alec turned his face away as Magnus took another step forwards, so they were side-by-side. "Yeah. Just a rough day."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Alec curled one hand into a fist. "Not really."

Magnus' gaze lingered on Alec's fingers, and the bloody scratch across the back, which had been cleaned, but was still red and raw. What the hell had Alec been doing? Playing with needles? Not that it looked like the kind of cut that could be done by a needle.

"Are you going to look at me at all, tonight?"

Alec flinched again, and Magnus regretted the way he'd phrased that.

"Alexander, I didn't mean—"

"No, it's okay." Alec sighed heavily, hanging his head, still angling his face away from Magnus. "Don't overreact, okay?"

"You're making me nervous, now. Did you get a septum piercing?"

His attempt at humour fell sadly flat, and awkwardness hung in the air between them, uneasy and unfamiliar. Things were hardly ever awkward between he and Alec. It was a perk of having been together for so long—silence wasn't deafening, and incoherent, stupid babble wasn't something to be self-conscious about.

Alec glanced over at him, turning his head so their eyes could meet, and Magnus inhaled sharply, staring up at his beautiful fiancé's face in horror. At the black by his eye, at his swelling lower lip and the cut slightly to one side, at the red marks on one cheek. Alec blinked, chewing on the inside of his cheek - probably because biting on his lip would have been a terrible idea - and Magnus felt tears sting at his eyes. That explained the slightly odd way Alec was speaking, at least.

"Oh, sweetheart," he whispered, reaching up to cup Alec's cheek gently. He brushed his thumb down to the corner of Alec's mouth, near where the cut was. "What on earth happened? Was it a patient?"

Alec leant into his touch, eyes flitting closed, and shook his head. "I was with Helen and Aline. We'd finished our shift, we weren't being asked to work overtime... They were just messing around, but some guy— He made a load of comments about them _daring_ to be women with jobs–" Alec rolled his eyes "–and then about them being gay. I think he was drunk. Or high. But he grabbed at Aline, and I knew it was going to get messy, so I called the hospital security. He didn't like that very much. Hence my current state." He gave Magnus a sardonic little smile. "Security dealt with him, and they called the police in."

"Does that mean you've been dealing with the police for the last hours?" Magnus asked, because, if Alec had finished his shift at normal time, he'd have been home long ago.

Alec nodded. "Yeah."

"Why the hell didn't you call me?" Magnus felt rage spreading through him. "I hope they arrested his worthless ass! Goddamn! I can't _believe_ —"

"Magnus." Alec smiled a little, affection clear in his eyes. "I didn't call you because I didn't want you to turn up and freak out about it. They did arrest him, but if anything goes to trial I don't want anything to do with it, because I'm marrying you in a month."

Magnus pursed his lips, less than impressed by that. "He still hurt you."

"I'm okay."

"No, you most obviously aren't!" Magnus' brow furrowed. "I can't even kiss you to make it better."

Alec let out a laugh, and leant forwards to rest his uninjured cheek against the side of Magnus' head. "I'm sure you'll think of something."

Magnus hummed, and pressed his lips to Alec's temple, before he pulled back. "Does it hurt?"

"The hospital gave me painkillers. And didn't charge me a thing, which was nice."

Magnus levelled him with a glare. "Your evasion tactics get worse everyday."

"I'm fine."

"Alexander."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Mags, it hurts. I got punched in the face. Twice. It's going to hurt. I'll live."

Heart twisting and clenching painfully in his chest, Magnus slid his arms round Alec's neck, and pulled him in, hugging him tightly. He was going to bloody _murder_ this guy if he ever came across him. Nobody hurt his fiancé. And to leave lasting damage, even if said damage would probably only last for a week? Magnus was fucking livid.

He felt Alec let out another little laugh, and he pulled back to glare at him. "It's not _funny_ , Alexander. You're _hurt_."

But Alec was smiling, and fuck, if it wasn't hard to be angry with Alec when he looked like that.

"No, you're just adorable when you're pissed."

Magnus quirked an eyebrow at him. "You told me off when I said I think you're hot when you're angry."

Alec shrugged. "Do as I say, not as I do."

"You sound like my mother."

"I'm sure Will will be thrilled to hear that you're going to call him _Mom_ from now on."

Magnus choked out a laugh. "I was actually talking about my biological mother, darling."

Alec paused at that, arms still around Magnus' waist, clearly a little at a loss. Magnus didn't blame him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd spoken about his biological parents or his step-father. Indonesia in general, and memories of his childhood aside from his relationship with his parents, yes, but not that.

"She used to say that kind of crap all the time." Magnus smiled a little at Alec. "Or, at least, the Indonesian equivalent."

Alec brushed his thumb against Magnus' cheek, eyes on Magnus' lips, but his expression was far away, and he was clearly deep in though. Eventually, he said, "Do you know how much I love you?"

"If it's nearly as much as I love you, my darling," Magnus said, leaning forward to kiss the uninjured side of Alec's mouth lightly, "then yes, I've got a fairly decent idea."

***

"I'm going to kill him!" were the first words Lydia heard when she picked up her phone while walking from her office back to her car, having panicked about the plethora of missed calls from Isabelle on her voicemail. "I am actually going to fucking kill him!"

"Who? What's the matter?" Lydia sunk down into the driver's seat and began to take off her heels, having tossed her phone onto the passenger seat on speaker so she could use both hands. The only person she knew who could drive in heels was Magnus Bane, and she still didn't understand how he did it. Or how he walked around in heels all day.

Admittedly, Magnus didn't wear stilettos (at least, not very often). But still. The man had to have some kind of inhumane genetic make-up that enabled his feet and legs to withstand the physical agonies of those vile, sexist contraptions that she'd somehow been persuaded were a great fashion accessory.

" _Alec_!" Isabelle hollered.

Lydia blinked, somewhat alarmed. She hoped their cat wasn't home. She'd be snooty and irritating all night if Isabelle kept shouting. "Why on earth do you want to kill your brother?"

"He's getting married!"

Lydia paused, and stared at her phone. "Isn't that cause for...celebration? You know, getting drunk, telling sexual jokes to make Alec uncomfortable, possibly cake? Actually, don't mention cake to Magnus: he'll decide he wants to jump out of one instead of walking up the aisle."

"He didn't tell me! Neither of them told me! He lied to me, Lydia!"

Lydia's lips quirked up. "Oh?"

"Yes! He asked me to do some snooping to find out what ring size Magnus was so he could buy him an anniversary present, and instead he was planning on buying an engagement ring all along!"

Unable to help herself, Lydia let out a laugh. "I'm sure Alec's very grateful for your snooping, Iz."

There was a pause. Then: "You knew."

Lydia shrugged. "No, but Aline interrogated Alec about why he looked so happy at work, and apparently managed to get him to spill, and I heard from Aline, even though she promised him she wouldn't tell anyone."

"When was this?"

"A month ago? Two? I don't know."

Silence.

"I hate you," Isabelle said with a huff.

Lydia grinned. "Love you too, baby."

"You're not getting any tonight."

Lydia lurched over to snatch up her phone in alarm, quickly turning the speaker off before any of her colleagues - or, more importantly, her boss - overheard. "Shush," Lydia hissed into the phone. "I'm in public."

"I'm still going to withhold sex."

"That's mean. I'm going to buy whipped cream and lick it off my fingers."

"I'm going to watch Ellen. Without you."

"I'll do yoga in front of the TV. In my underwear."

"I still won't have sex with you."

Lydia huffed. It was impossible to have those sorts of arguments with anyone who'd had siblings. She and Magnus frequently moaned about always losing to their Lightwood partners.

"How did you find out about your brother and Magnus, anyway?" she asked. "I got the impression they were keeping it to themselves."

"Alec forgot to take off his ring when he FaceTimed me earlier." Lydia could hear the frown in Isabelle's voice. "Some asshole started verbally abusing Helen and Aline when they left work, and Alec got into a fight with him."

"Jesus," Lydia breathed. "Are they okay?"

"Yeah. Magnus is pissed, apparently."

"Well, I'd be pissed if you came home all punched up."

Lydia could just imagine Isabelle rolling her eyes at that.

"Firstly," she said, and the line crackled at the vehemence in her voice, "I would kick him in the balls with my heels before he could do any damage. Secondly, it wasn't _that_ bad."

Lydia's lips curled up. Isabelle's feistiness was one of the multitude of reasons Lydia's loved and adored her with her whole heart, but it had got her into trouble far too many times. She wasn't very good at doing as she was told, which left her bosses with a conundrum—she was far too good to fire, but they always hated letting her get her own way.

"Magnus is probably worried about the wedding," Lydia said. "It's in a month and a bit."

Lydia realised she'd made a very large mistake when Isabelle's screeching reached new heights. She pulled her phone away from her ear with a wince while Isabelle ranted about how furious she was with Alec at a thousand miles an hour.

"Baby," Lydia said soothingly, "I know, but I really want to get home, and I also really don't want to get arrested, so can I hang up and talk to you when I'm home?"

Isabelle was quiet for a moment. Then: "But it takes you ages to get home."

"I'm sorry," Lydia said, chuckling. "I'll see you soon, Iz."

"See you soon. Love you."

"I love you too."

Lydia was about to hang up, when Isabelle said, "Lia? You're not actually going to do shit with whipped cream, are you?"

"Sure," Lydia said, smirking, "I'm heading to the grocery store before I come home."

"Fuck."

"Hm. I'm fairly sure you claimed you'd be withholding that."

"I hate you, and we're getting a divorce."

"I won't bother doing any kind of whipped cream seduction, then."

"Oh my god!" Isabelle sounded like she'd have pounced on Lydia by now, if they'd been in person. "You're impossible!"

"Never try to beat a lawyer, baby."

"Fucking hell, buy the damn whipped cream and get your ass home. I'm going to lick it off you."

Lydia shivered, and, after telling Isabelle goodbye, she hung up, tossed her phone onto the backseat, and started up the car. She really, really hoped there wasn't much traffic.

***

Raphael had his legs tossed across Simon's lap, TV on, while Simon's attention was focused on a stack of papers, a pen dangling between his teeth and a highlighter in his hand, when his phone buzzed, snapping him from his half-hearted watching of some crappy show that Magnus had got him into.

Okay. It wasn't crap. But there was a _lot_ of sex.

**[From: Iz Lightwood at 10:44]**

**How do you feel about buying suits on a Saturday?**

Raphael stared at the text. Buying suits? Did they have occasion to buy suits? Wasn't that generally reserved for special occasions? Like...funerals? Had anybody died?

He closed the text thread and went to open his calendar app, before promptly realising that it wasn't his calendar, and wasn't his phone. He definitely didn't have any exclamation marks in his calendar notes. He had class. And standards.

"Simon," he said, "why is Isabelle asking you about suits?"

Simon looked up, hair adorably tousled, and frowned. "Suits?"

Raphael passed him his phone, shifting his legs so he didn't crush the paper Simon set down. Simon's students probably wouldn't appreciate their essays being ruined by their teacher's boyfriend.

He still remembered the first - and only, regardless of how much everyone had cooed about it - time all those awful teenagers Simon taught realised that Simon _had_ a boyfriend. Simon hated parents' evenings - because, regardless of how good he was with angsty teenagers, he was terrible at neurotic parents - so Raphael had promised to meet him straight afterwards and take him on a dinner date.

The moment he'd turned up and Simon had kissed his cheek, of course, students had bombarded them, demanding to know who Raphael was, and whether Simon was gay (quickly followed by a girl saying, _"Please, Mr Lewis, can you come and invigilate our GSA meetings? Mrs Penhallow just doesn't_ get _it."_ ), and why he hadn't told them about his boyfriend.

(Raphael still didn't understand their fascination. His life with Simon, while far better than anything he'd ever imagined being able to have, wasn't exactly exciting. It was ordinary. He loved Simon, with all his heart, but he didn't see what business it was of anyone else's.)

"Huh." Simon's voice hauled him from his reminiscing, and he refocused. Possibly, he should have listened to Simon yesterday and gone to bed earlier than midnight. "I haven't got a clue. Are we missing something?"

" _Dios, mi amor._ " Raphael rolled his eyes. "Why would I be asking you if I knew?"

"Suits?" Simon muttered, ignoring Raphael. "Why fucking suits?"

"Why a Saturday, more importantly. Saturday is cuddle in bed, Netflix in bed, pizza in bed, sleep in bed, day."

"Saturday is _enjoying-me-time-in-the-shower_ , day."

Raphael kicked him lightly. "Shut up, Simon."

"What?" Simon looked affronted. "Come on, Raph, you've been living with me for years. You must have worked out that I jerk off when I have a long shower."

Raphael sighed, and scrubbed the base of his palm across his eyes. "Stop telling me about it."

There was a pause. Simon lowered his phone, and set it down gently on the sofa, turning to face Raphael properly; Raphael knew he'd managed to fuck it up. He knew he'd managed to tip Simon off as to this being about more than his usual mild irritation.

He felt papers moving away from where they'd been resting half against his calf, and Simon's hand resting on his leg, but he didn't look up at his boyfriend. He was too embarrassed.

It wasn't like he and Simon never had sex. They did. Just...not very often. And they both knew that it was more for Simon's benefit than Raphael's. Not that Raphael didn't thoroughly enjoy himself, most of them time, and he adored the emotional intimacy that resulted in being so close to somebody and so vulnerable with them, but he wouldn't really have been all that bothered if they never had sex again; Simon would probably feel the loss more keenly.

And...that was exactly the problem. While his proclivity for sex wavered and decreased down to almost zero more than it increased, Simon's desire seemed consistently fairly high. Not that Simon ever tried to coerce him - he didn't even bring it up, verbally, relying on Raphael's cues to work out when Raphael was in the mood to take things further, and when he didn't want to. (The later being more common than the former.)

And Raphael couldn't help the feeling of inadequacy. He was supposed to be Simon's boyfriend; he was supposed to make him happy. And yet he was driving him to jerking off in the shower like a teenager.

"Raphael." Simon squeezed his leg, in what was probably supposed to be a reassuring gesture. "Is there something you'd like to tell me about?"

Raphael swallowed, and then shrugged. "No."

"Raphael."

"It's nothing, Simon." He looked up, and offered Simon a small smile. "Really."

Simon's scoffed. "Now I definitely know you're lying. You only smile when you're roasting someone."

"I hate that expression."

"You hate everything." Simon's expression was fond, despite his words, and Raphael was reminded that Simon loved him. Simon had loved him for a long time. He'd probably tell Raphael that he was blowing this way out of proportion. He'd probably see it as a non-issue.

But he'd still be willing to talk about it. He always was.

"Do you mind?" Raphael asked at last. "Really, without sparing my feelings, do you mind?"

"What?" Simon looked confused. "Mind that you pretend to hate everything? No. It's part of your charm."

Raphael let out a little laugh. "That wasn't what I meant. Sex. Do you mind that we don't have sex very often?"

If possible, Simon only looked more confused. He did an adorable little blink, brow furrowing, and said, "Sex? You're upset about sex?"

"I'm insecure about sex."

"Because you think I'm not satisfied?" When Raphael nodded, Simon's expression went from confused to utterly bewildered. "Where on earth is this coming from? Have I made you think I'm not satisfied by our relationship?"

"No. Yes. I don't know." He exhaled, and picked up Simon's hand in his. "The shower comment. I just... We're in a relationship. You're not supposed to need to do that when—"

Simon shook his head. "Babe, I guarantee you that Jace still jerks off at least once a day."

"Because he wants to, not because he has to." Raphael sighed in frustration. "I just– Our friends are always going on and on about sex, and how great sex is, and how much they have sex, and we– we're not like that. Doesn't it bother you?"

"Honestly?" Simon squeezed his hand. "If you never, ever, ever wanted to have sex, at all, in your entire life? That might be more difficult. But— Wait." He frowned. "You haven't been sleeping with me because you think you have to, right? I haven't been coercing you, have I?"

"No. It wouldn't have taken me this long to bring it up if any of that were true. What we do is...more than fine, by me. It's nice. I don't exactly crave it, but..." He shrugged. "I enjoy being with you. It's you that's the problem."

"There is no problem, Raph. I promise. I'm happy. Alright, I masturbate in the shower while Magnus and Alec are having romantic sex to express how revoltingly in love they are, and we cuddle and kiss and watch TV while Izzy and Lydia do that couple-sass thing, destroy everyone, and go home and get kinky with each other." Raphael choked at that; Simon grinned. "It's okay. I'm okay with that." At Raphael's doubtful look, he said, "Seriously. I love you. Like, a million times more than I love sex."

Raphael couldn't help smiling back, at that. "I should hope so."

"Raphael," Simon said softly, shifting so he could cup Raphael's jawline in one hand, "I mean it. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. Don't doubt that. You're stuck with me."

"Please don't propose," Raphael begged him. "If you propose, I'm going to cry."

Simon chuckled, and kissed Raphael's forehead. "One day. Not today, because even I'm not that spontaneous, but one day."

"Damn it. _Dios_ , Simon, I hate you," Raphael snapped, without any real heat, rubbing the back of his hand across his eyes.

Batting Raphael's hands away to brush underneath his eyes with the upmost tenderness, Simon said, "Of course you do."

" _Vete a la mierda_."

Simon chuckled at the swearing, kissing Raphael's half-hearted scowl, and tugged his boyfriend into his arms; Raphael exhaled, burying his face in Simon's shoulder. Honestly, if Simon had proposed on the spot, with no warning, it wasn't like Raphael would have said no. Where else would he want to spend his life, other than in Simon's arms?

"Are you done working?" Raphael murmured, after several moments of silence, Simon's fingers playing up and down his spine.

"I can be. I can do it tomorrow. Why?"

"I want to go to bed."

He felt Simon smile against his temple. "Alright, Sleeping Beauty. I'll be with you in a minute. I should probably find out what Isabelle was on about..."

Raphael barely heard him. He was too caught up in the glorious notion of getting to spend the rest of his life exactly where he was, loving and loved by Simon Lewis.

***

"No!" Isabelle looked absolutely horrified when she saw Magnus and Alec step out of their car. "No! No, absolutely not! Magnus Bane, I am ashamed of you. I expected better."

Alec cleared his throat, pretending to look offended. "Excuse you."

Isabelle turned unimpressed eyes on her brother. "We all know there's no hope for you. But _you_ –" She rounded on Magnus, and fixed him with the kind of glare that made Magnus certain that, even if he and Alec had never met and got together, no guy would ever have dared fuck with Alexander Lightwood. Not when that expression would await them.

"Okay, okay, stop threatening my boyfriend," Alec said, stepping between Isabelle and Magnus. If Magnus had been less caring of his dignity, he'd have swooned.

"He's your _fiancé_!" Isabelle looked outraged on Magnus' behalf. Magnus remembered why he adored Isabelle so much. "Something you neglected to tell me, I hasten to add."

Magnus bit down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from grinning, and caught Raphael's eye. Raphael had his usual deadpan expression on, but the minute little twitch at the corner of his mouth told Magnus that he wasn't the only one about to burst into laughter.

"We were planning on wearing the same suits, Isabelle," Magnus said, before brother and sister could start arguing properly. Alec and Isabelle bickered all the time, and, while it always began in the same amusing manner, it sometimes led to sour moods, which Magnus was not prepared for today.

Isabelle folded her arms over her chest; Lydia's eyes flickered appreciatively down to her wife's neckline, and lingered for a moment. "That doesn't mean you can just see each other in what you'll be wearing on your wedding day before you're actually getting married. That breaks every rule. I expected better from you, Magnus."

Magnus smiled. "My lovely Isabelle, I wouldn't dream of committing such a heinous crime. However, I'm sure we can manage to try on the same style of suit and get them appropriately altered without crossing paths, even if we're in the shop together, no?"

Isabelle pursed her lips.

"Your make-up looks flawless, today," he added. "Date night?"

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Magnus."

"That means yes," Lydia added. "Hot date night. Consisting of Netflix. And chilling. Lots and lots of chilling."

Alec looked like he was about to be sick. Raphael seemed to share the sentiment. Simon, however, had his eyebrows raised, apparently enjoying the afternoon's entertainment.

"I'm going to go home in a minute," Alec told them. "I hate shopping, and I hate clothes, and I hate hearing about my sister's sex life. Please don't make this take hours, Iz."

Isabelle rolled her eyes. Lydia looked a little more sympathetic.

"Darling," Magnus said, "I've already agreed to let this wedding be low-budget and low-key. I don't want to break up before we get to the alter. Come on. This is the worst bit."

Alec huffed. "I'd rather not break up after we get to the alter, either."

Magnus melted, feeling his eyes go soft and his expression turn gooey, and he leant over to kiss Alec's cheek. Raphael made a gagging sound, followed promptly by a noise of pain when Simon - or maybe Lydia - elbowed him in the ribs. Magnus hid his smile against Alec's shoulder.

They were getting married. He was going to marry this gorgeous, perfect, wonderful man. In a matter of weeks, he would be able to call Alexander his husband; he'd have a legal, tangible claim on him. And he'd wear evidence of it. The weight of his engagement ring felt heavy on his finger, and he slid his thumb over the cool metal, trying to ignore the little flutter his heart did when he felt it. He'd never worn rings on that finger. But now... Now, he never took it off. Only when necessary.

God, it was ridiculous. He'd been with Alec for ten years. Or was it eleven? But he was still just as in love now as he had been when they were seventeen. It was disgusting. They were disgusting. Jace and Raphael and Will frequently reminded them of it.

Will and Jem, of course, had been absolutely ecstatic when Magnus had shown them his and Alec's engagement rings. They'd offered to pay for some of the wedding, knowing that merely renting a venue would be expensive, but neither Magnus nor Alec had wanted to accept the money.

Although, having paid out a deposit for the venue rental two days ago, Magnus had a feeling they might have to rethink that decision.

Maryse and Robert's relationship with Alec had been more strained, since he'd come out as a teenager, but they'd been trying. Magnus had to give them points for how much they tried. It was obvious, to him, that they were still hoping that Alec would turn round and announce that he'd broken up with Magnus and was dating a girl ( _any_ kind of girl) but those hopes had been dashed when Alec had told them he'd proposed to Magnus.

The whole affair had been tinged with a considerable amount of trepidation, unlike the buzzing excitement they'd both felt before they'd told Will and Jem. Maryse and Robert had been silent, when Alec spoke the words aloud, Magnus rubbing circles into the back of his hand in support, but after their initial awkwardness, they appeared to have come around to the idea. They'd even agreed to walk up the aisle with Alec.

Max, of course, had been nearly as excited as Isabelle was when he'd found out. Magnus wondered whether Alec really comprehended how much of a hero he still was, to his little brother—even though Max really wasn't very little anymore.

"Fine," Isabelle conceded now, with a great huff of indignant that made her sound far too much like Alec. It was unnerving. They were so different, most of the time, and then, occasionally, it was very obvious that they were siblings. "Fine. It's your wedding to ruin. But _don't_ sneak away to peek at each other and have sex in the fitting rooms."

Alec wrinkled his nose. "That sounds really unhygienic."

"That's your concern?" Simon asked, looking doubtful. "Really?"

"Moving on," Lydia said, pointedly. "Jace and Clary are both meeting us there, as is Ragnor. Are we missing anybody else?"

"I still don't know why we're involved in this," Simon said, slipping his arm around Raphael's waist. "You're bridesmaids, Jace and Ragnor are their best men—we sit in the crowd and try not to cry."

Magnus blinked. He hadn't thought about that. What if he cried? He hated crying in public at the best of times, but at his wedding? It would ruin his make-up. It would ruin his whole appearance. He couldn't cry. But they were writing their own vows. How the fuck was he meant to just not cry when Alec was proclaiming how much he loved him?

This wedding was going to be humiliating. He could tell. Suddenly, he sympathised with Alec's request for this to be a relatively small gathering, with only their friends, a few close colleagues, and their families attending.

Fuck. What if he cried, and got mascara streaked and running across his face, and then in all his wedding photos, he looked like a hot mess? What kind of awful, embarrassing crap would that be?

_Hey, look, this was the happiest day of my life, when I married the most incredible person in the world. I look like a fucking mess, but I swear I was ecstatic._

"...Magnus?"

Alec's voice drew him out of his thoughts. He blinked. "Hm?"

"Are you alright?" Alec asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Fine. Just...thinking." He paused at Alec's expectant look, and blurted out, "What if I cry? What if I've been crying in all our wedding photos?"

"If you're going to cry, we'd better buy some waterproof make-up," Alec said, easily, without hesitation. "And make sure we've got tissues."

How did Alec do that? How did Alec always manage to calm him down when he was working himself up unnecessarily?

"I can add waterproof make-up to our list," Isabelle piped up, pulling out her phone and tapping on the screen. "There's a Sephora shop nearby."

"We're not taking Alec to Sephora," Magnus said, firmly. "He'll have an existential crisis."

Alec looked offended, arms folding across his chest. The position did wonders for his biceps. "Excuse you."

"There's a reason I throw away my make-up receipts, darling. You freak out enough about the price of Starbucks."

"Can we go home, now?" Raphael asked, before Alec could open his mouth to reply.

"No!" Isabelle slipped her phone into her pocket. "As men who are into men, your expertise is needed to vote on whether or not the suits look good."

Raphael looked distinctly unimpressed. "No."

"It's non-negotiable," Isabelle said. "Are we done, now? Can we stop acting like babies?"

"I can't decide," Alec murmured, low, mouth next to Magnus' ear as they followed Isabelle down the street, "whether I want to get this over with, or be as difficult as possible, just to annoy her."

Magnus laughed. Alec pulled back, mirth and fondness in his gorgeous eyes; Magnus' heart stuttered, contentment settling deep in his chest.

"I love you, Alexander," he said, and leant up to press a kiss to Alec's lips, soft and tender, uncaring of the world around them. The marks on Alec's face from his altercation with the asshole at the hospital were still there, but fading rapidly, and, Alec assured him, repeatedly, no longer painful at all.

Affectionate lips brushed his cheek and then the tip of his nose when they parted after a moment, fingers sliding against the back of his palm and round to grasp his, and their palms pressed together.

"I love you too, Magnus," Alec whispered, a smile curving his lips upwards.

God, he was so beautiful, and so wonderful, and Magnus loved him so, so much, it was almost painful. He wanted to bury himself in the warmth of Alexander's embrace and never leave.

Alec lifted their joined hands, still holding Magnus' gaze, and pressed a kiss to where Magnus' ring sat gleaming in prime position. His lips lingered, eyelids fluttering as he looked down, brushing against Magnus' skin in a butterfly kiss that made his insides twist and squirm pleasantly.

"I can't believe I get to have this," Magnus murmured.

Alec looked up at him, lifting his head, and gave Magnus' hand a squeeze. "You get to have this forever, babe. That's why I'm marrying you."

A laugh bubbled up Magnus' throat, bursting into the air between them. "God, I'm never going to get sick of hearing that."

"Hm?" Alec quirked an eyebrow, lips twitching in an altogether far too tempting manner. "What about in a month, when I get to call you my husband?"

Magnus' smile stretched wide across his face, and he leant into Alec's side. "Then, maybe I'll discover that it's actually humanly possible to be happier than I am right now."

***

"Fuck," Alec gasped, burying his head in the crook of Magnus' neck, tremors wracking his lithe frame, chest heaving against Magnus'.

Magnus made a breathless hum of agreement, running a hand down Alec's back, glistening with a light sheen of sweat, the hair at the base of his neck damp when Magnus pushed his fingers through it.

Alec let out a soft, barely-audible moan, muffled against Magnus' skin, then kicked his legs to flick the comforter up, and pulled it over their legs.

Magnus shifted slightly, curling himself closer to Alec. Alec hooked a leg over one of Magnus', spreading his hand flat over Magnus' chest, fingers brushing where faint scars remained along the bottom of his pecs, remnants of a battle hard fought before Alec had known him—but one he continued to fight, to this day.

Heart rate beginning to slow, sense returning to his overwhelmed, blissed-out brain, Alec dipped his head slightly and pressed a kiss to one of the marks, and then another, before he dragged his lips up to meet Magnus'.

The kiss was soft, and slow, and lazy. Alec crowded closer, pressing himself into his fiancé as much as he could, feeling Magnus' heartbeat thudding underneath his fingertips where he was propping himself up on Magnus' chest. Magnus had an arm wrapped around his waist, the other lifting to brush across his cheek as they'd kissed, languidly, like they had all the time in the world.

Because they did. They had their entire lives.

When they broke apart, Alec couldn't help the smile that overtook his face. "You're beautiful," he murmured.

Magnus let out a little huff of a laugh, and tipped Alec's face forwards with a finger under his chin to kiss him again. "I know. But thank you for reminding me."

Alec smacked his shoulder. "I'm trying to be romantic."

"Yes, Alexander, hitting me after we've had sex is very romantic." Magnus' lips twitched. "You're exquisite, my darling."

An enormous, disgustingly saccharine smile etched itself onto Alec's lips, and he had to rest his face on Magnus' chest again, just so he didn't look like quite as much of an overly-sentimental idiot.

One hand found Magnus'; the other began tracing along the contours of his gorgeous fiancé's chest, over defined muscle, along ridges and sinews, and the softness of the skin in between. He sighed, more content than he could put into words.

"It's never bothered you," Magnus whispered, suddenly.

"What hasn't?" Alec asked, fingers pausing in their movements so he could look up at Magnus.

"This." He pulled Alec's hand up to his pecs, to the scars Alec had brushed kisses against earlier.

Alec blinked. This? This had been a non-issue in their relationship for years. Not since high school. Not since when they first started getting sexual with each other, and it had dragged up waves of dysphoria, for Magnus, and uncertainties for both of them about how to navigate the sexual side of their relationship, when nothing about it was typical. It wasn't like anybody - parents, schools, the media - gave anybody any hints on how to go about having sex when you were gay, let alone when one partner was trans.

Not that it had mattered, for long. They'd communicated. They accepted that they wouldn't get it right first time—or second, or third, or fourth. Not really. But they'd talked. And they'd kissed. A lot. And it had all been fine, in the end.

The matching rings sitting on their fingers were perfect proof of that.

"You mean those titchy little scars, or the general fact that my beautiful soon-to-be husband is an out and proud bisexual man who happens to be trans?"

Magnus huffed out a laugh, fondness covering every inch of his face as he gazed down at Alec. Which was unusual. (Well. When they were vertical it was unusual, at least.) Alec was a fair few inches taller than Magnus. Especially when Magnus wasn't wearing shoes. But he wasn't going to deny that he liked cuddling up like this. Because he did. He liked it a lot. Particularly after an exhausting day shopping, when he hadn't even been allowed to reap the usual benefits of seeing Magnus in new clothes.

"Both," Magnus said, drawing Alec out of his thoughts, heart rate picking up just a little underneath Alec's hand. "Either."

"Hm." Alec smiled. "No, I can't say either of those things ever seemed overly concerning."

"Not at all?" Magnus looked curious, but Alec could read the underlying tone of uncertainty in his eyes.

"These?" Alec ran a finger along Magnus' scars, faint and faded, not really noticeable anymore. "I couldn't be less bothered. They're just a part of you. The rest..." He shrugged. "I was already falling in love with you when you told me. It was way too late for me to ditch you because of something like that."

"I'm glad," Magnus said, brushing a kiss against Alec's lips. "I'm glad we get to have this. Alexander, you– you mean the world to me. You know that, don't you?"

Lifting himself up so he could look at Magnus properly, he said, "Of course I know. And you mean everything to me."

Tears shone in Magnus' eyes, bright and glistening and so full of love, it made Alec's heart ache; on his next blink, Magnus' face went blurry, and he blinked rapidly to make his vision clear.

"I'm so going to cry at our wedding," Magnus whispered, letting out a little laugh. "Especially during the vows. I'll be a mess. Just warning you."

Alec grinned. "I'll make sure I've got tissues, Mags. It's not like I won't be crying, too."

"We'll fall apart together, then."

"Mm." Alec dropped a kiss to Magnus' forehead. "Together."

"Always, my love," Magnus whispered.

And they kissed, fingers interlaced where their hands rested against Magnus' chest, heartbeats soft between them; every touch was saturated with tender affection, hearts overflowing with the overwhelming sensation of being utterly, immutably in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... They ended up...not getting married? I swear, this was literally supposed to be about Magnus and Alec's wedding, and then I started writing and this monstrously huge thing happened. Oh well! I think I'm going to come back and write their wedding at some point, as an extra. I hope you enjoyed the last chapter, anyway! 
> 
> I've had so much fun writing this book, and thank you so much to everyone who's left kudos, commented, and been as enthusiastic about my first escapade into full-length Malec fics as I have :) You're all lovely, and thank you to every one of you who's supported me on this fic!
> 
> I've got plenty of new things in the works - a few one-shots, a medium-length multi-chap, and what will eventually probably be of a similar length to this story, as well as a collab with the ever-wonderful Malteser24, so I'm really excited to start on some new things :) 
> 
> Thank you, one last time, to all of you, and I'll shut up now before I get even more boring <3


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